NEW DELHI // Young women fear and loathe her. Soap operas showcase her iron-fisted rule. And sociologists spend hours debating the torment she is accused of unleashing across the country.
Mothers-in-law have long been demonised and parodied all over the world. But they have an especially fearsome reputation in India, where stories of bitter and abusive struggles with their daughters-in-law abound.
Relationships between mothers-in-law and their son's wives have never been more dysfunctional in India, where it says rapid modernisation has collided with staunch family traditions, said Veena Venugopal, author of The Mother-in-Law: The other woman in your marriage.
“It’s a phenomenon that started around the year 2000 and has been building ever since,” she said.
“This is the worst generation for mother and daughter-in-law conflict.”
Women, especially in isolated, rural India, have historically married young and joined their husband’s family under one roof, where they were placed at the bottom of the pile and often relegated to performing household chores.
India’s economic liberalisation in the 1990s brought double-digit growth coupled with social progress that allowed legions more women to pursue higher education and a career in cities.
Like their peers in the Western world, these middle-class urban Indian women have also started delaying marriage and having fewer children.
But such social changes are often not accepted by their mothers-in-law many of whom are stuck in a different age, Venugopal said.
"Daughters-in-law are more educated and have more options and want to make more decisions for themselves and yet they are trapped in these marriages," said Venugopal, an editor at The Hindu Business Line newspaper.
The book details 11 cases of middle-class women across the country and their relationships with their husband’s families.
One bride, a television journalist, was forced to hand over her salary every month to her mother-in-law who also forcibly took charge of bringing up her two young children.
She was never allowed to sit on a couch, chair or bed, only a concrete surface in the home that she shared with her husband’s extended family, for whom she was expected to cook and clean after finishing her day job.
“These are people you come across in your professional life and never imagine that they live such traumatised lives behind closed doors,” Venugopal said.
Venugopal, whose book was published by Penguin in May, said she hoped to kick-start a national debate about the changing roles of husbands, wives and their families which remain cornerstones of Indian society.
“I also hope that men feel slightly embarrassed about all this and get into the act. Most do nothing to resolve these conflicts, their way of dealing with it is to ignore it,” she said.
For generations, boys have been favoured over girls who are less likely to receive a decent education, medical care and even food, according to governments and research groups.
Men, considered the bread winners, wield the power while the women are married off.
“The daughter traditionally is never part of the house because she is something to be gifted away,” said New Delhi-based social scientist Shiv Visvanathan.
“We are a deeply patriarchal society.”
Numerous soap operas portray the domineering mother-in-law battling with her younger, prettier daughter-in-law who always loses the fight over money, her husband, food and space in the home.
The shows have long been wildly popular particularly among women, many of whom can sympathise with the struggles and torments being played out on screen, Mr Visvanathan said.
“It’s very therapeutic for them.”
Venugopal said such dysfunctional relationships appear to be passing from one generation to the next. Instead of bonding with her son’s bride, the mother-in-law seizes the chance to unleash her own kind of repression and anger.
“The mother-in-law herself has been a repressed daughter-in-law. She has waited 20 years for the chance to be the powerful one in a relationship,” she said.
Not surprisingly, mothers-in-law reject the bad rap detailed in the book and are fighting back against such negative stereotyping.
Neena Dhulia said a string of laws have been introduced to protect daughters-in-law from dowry-related and other abuses, which in turn are being misused to help them obtain divorces and persecute mothers-in-law.
“Women these days are better educated. They know how to manipulate these laws,” Ms Dhulia said.
“Women are also very independent, they have no tolerance and they have high ambitions.
“For them, it’s as easy as ordering pizza. They ring up, file a complaint and the mother-in-law is arrested.”
Ms Dhulia runs a forum in southern Bangalore and other several cities for mothers-in-law who are being victimised by their families, a service that attracts 15 to 20 phone calls a week.
“We have spent 30 to 35 years taking care of our children. Are we really demons or monsters?”
* Agence France-Presse
'Unrivaled: Why America Will Remain the World’s Sole Superpower'
Michael Beckley, Cornell Press
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
If you go...
Fly from Dubai or Abu Dhabi to Chiang Mai in Thailand, via Bangkok, before taking a five-hour bus ride across the Laos border to Huay Xai. The land border crossing at Huay Xai is a well-trodden route, meaning entry is swift, though travellers should be aware of visa requirements for both countries.
Flights from Dubai start at Dh4,000 return with Emirates, while Etihad flights from Abu Dhabi start at Dh2,000. Local buses can be booked in Chiang Mai from around Dh50
Crazy Rich Asians
Director: Jon M Chu
Starring: Constance Wu, Henry Golding, Michelle Yeon, Gemma Chan
Four stars
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MOST%20POLLUTED%20COUNTRIES%20IN%20THE%20WORLD
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MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League final:
Who: Real Madrid v Liverpool
Where: NSC Olimpiyskiy Stadium, Kiev, Ukraine
When: Saturday, May 26, 10.45pm (UAE)
TV: Match on BeIN Sports
COMPANY%20PROFILE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EName%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EKinetic%207%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%202018%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounder%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Rick%20Parish%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Abu%20Dhabi%2C%20UAE%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EIndustry%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Clean%20cooking%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunding%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%2410%20million%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Self-funded%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The smuggler
Eldarir had arrived at JFK in January 2020 with three suitcases, containing goods he valued at $300, when he was directed to a search area.
Officers found 41 gold artefacts among the bags, including amulets from a funerary set which prepared the deceased for the afterlife.
Also found was a cartouche of a Ptolemaic king on a relief that was originally part of a royal building or temple.
The largest single group of items found in Eldarir’s cases were 400 shabtis, or figurines.
Khouli conviction
Khouli smuggled items into the US by making false declarations to customs about the country of origin and value of the items.
According to Immigration and Customs Enforcement, he provided “false provenances which stated that [two] Egyptian antiquities were part of a collection assembled by Khouli's father in Israel in the 1960s” when in fact “Khouli acquired the Egyptian antiquities from other dealers”.
He was sentenced to one year of probation, six months of home confinement and 200 hours of community service in 2012 after admitting buying and smuggling Egyptian antiquities, including coffins, funerary boats and limestone figures.
For sale
A number of other items said to come from the collection of Ezeldeen Taha Eldarir are currently or recently for sale.
Their provenance is described in near identical terms as the British Museum shabti: bought from Salahaddin Sirmali, "authenticated and appraised" by Hossen Rashed, then imported to the US in 1948.
- An Egyptian Mummy mask dating from 700BC-30BC, is on offer for £11,807 ($15,275) online by a seller in Mexico
- A coffin lid dating back to 664BC-332BC was offered for sale by a Colorado-based art dealer, with a starting price of $65,000
- A shabti that was on sale through a Chicago-based coin dealer, dating from 1567BC-1085BC, is up for $1,950
Skewed figures
In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458.
COMPANY%20PROFILE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EName%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESmartCrowd%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2018%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounder%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESiddiq%20Farid%20and%20Musfique%20Ahmed%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDubai%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFinTech%20%2F%20PropTech%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInitial%20investment%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%24650%2C000%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ECurrent%20number%20of%20staff%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2035%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20stage%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESeries%20A%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EVarious%20institutional%20investors%20and%20notable%20angel%20investors%20(500%20MENA%2C%20Shurooq%2C%20Mada%2C%20Seedstar%2C%20Tricap)%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
CONFIRMED%20LINE-UP
%3Cp%3EElena%20Rybakina%20(Kazakhstan)%0D%3Cbr%3EOns%20Jabeur%20(Tunisia)%0D%3Cbr%3EMaria%20Sakkari%20(Greece)%0D%3Cbr%3EBarbora%20Krej%C4%8D%C3%ADkov%C3%A1%20(Czech%20Republic)%0D%3Cbr%3EBeatriz%20Haddad%20Maia%20(Brazil)%0D%3Cbr%3EJe%C4%BCena%20Ostapenko%20(Latvia)%0D%3Cbr%3ELiudmila%20Samsonova%0D%3Cbr%3EDaria%20Kasatkina%E2%80%AF%0D%3Cbr%3EVeronika%20Kudermetova%E2%80%AF%0D%3Cbr%3ECaroline%20Garcia%20(France)%E2%80%AF%0D%3Cbr%3EMagda%20Linette%20(Poland)%E2%80%AF%0D%3Cbr%3ESorana%20C%C3%AErstea%20(Romania)%E2%80%AF%0D%3Cbr%3EAnastasia%20Potapova%E2%80%AF%0D%3Cbr%3EAnhelina%20Kalinina%20(Ukraine)%E2%80%AF%E2%80%AF%0D%3Cbr%3EJasmine%20Paolini%20(Italy)%E2%80%AF%0D%3Cbr%3EEmma%20Navarro%20(USA)%E2%80%AF%0D%3Cbr%3ELesia%20Tsurenko%20(Ukraine)%0D%3Cbr%3ENaomi%20Osaka%20(Japan)%20-%20wildcard%0D%3Cbr%3EEmma%20Raducanu%20(Great%20Britain)%20-%20wildcard%3Cbr%3EAlexandra%20Eala%20(Philippines)%20-%20wildcard%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions