Humans aren’t great at balance. We tend to think, feel, talk and act in extremes, often to our detriment.
When we are too indulgent or too restrictive, we create a world of discomfort for ourselves and those who care about us. This is also true in our money lives.
For example, when most people think about problem spending, they think about those who overspend. Yet, it can be equally problematic for someone when they underspend or are scared to spend the money they have.
So, why do some of us struggle to spend money even when there’s more than enough? To answer this question, we must look under the surface.
People struggle to spend money for many different reasons. They may include financial anxiety or a history of financial trauma, transitioning from accumulation to decumulation into a new phase of life, or through identity and emotional connection to assets.
Let’s look at these three areas individually, starting with anxiety and financial trauma.
When people are reluctant to spend, anxiety or a history of financial trauma may be at the core of the issue.
If someone struggles with anxious thought patterns, they may spend a lot of time preparing for the worst thing they can imagine. While it’s healthy to plan, financially anxious people can carry preparation for unforeseen events to the extreme.
With financial trauma, the brain of someone who has experienced scarcity, deprivation or loss may struggle to recognise that they are living in a new context with different resources.
Thriftiness that was previously necessary and adaptive is no longer needed. Still, the mind can’t register that old threats don’t exist. They are unable to see that they have outgrown what was once adaptive. Long-standing habits get in the way.
When people transition to a new phase of life, they often need to recalibrate various aspects of their money life.
One of the most significant shifts occurs when people enter retirement. Many people spend decades focusing on saving for retirement.
So, when a person then flips from accumulation to decumulation, it can be jarring. Life’s uncertainty makes it scary for someone to start spending what they’ve spent a lifetime working for.
Finally, the origins of people’s money can significantly affect the feelings they have about spending it.
For instance, people may feel uncomfortable about spending money they receive from a life insurance policy.
Or if someone has received an asset as a gift from a person who has passed away, they may struggle to part with it because, in their mind, it’s a connection to someone important. They may think “this is all I have left of them”.
And so, given that there are many factors impacting our willingness to spend, how can we overcome this?
When the fear of spending is having a detrimental effect on the quality of your life, there are steps that you can take.
Here are five strategies to use if you are struggling to use the resources currently available to you:
1. Acknowledge and normalise, validate the struggle
Current choices emerge from previous life experiences, so be compassionate with yourself when engaging in a behaviour that is instinctually about survival.
2. Do the maths with an adviser you trust
After validating the emotional side of the struggle to spend, it may be beneficial to speak to a trusted adviser who can help you review data and the facts of a situation. You might discover that some fears are unfounded in their present financial reality.
3. Define your abundant life
Explore if a lifestyle upgrade might bring you increased joy. Paint a vivid picture of new possibilities and be specific.
4. Give yourself permission to pursue an abundant life
To do this, you may need to address issues that have made spending a challenge. That may include guilt, fear, core beliefs about wealth, or struggles with self-esteem.
5. Practise living an abundant life
After identifying ways of spending that lead to new kinds of comfort or enjoyment, it’s time to practise. For instance, set aside a specific amount of money you can reasonably afford to spend. Next, commit to using it. It may be uncomfortable at first, but like other behaviours in life that were hard at first, changing spending habits will grow easier over time.
By walking through these steps, you can feel freer and more confident to use your resources in a manner that is both responsible and enjoyable.
Spending money may feel uncomfortable or counterintuitive to you, but remember, it’s part of a healthy financial life.
Taking steps to achieve a balance allows you to responsibly prepare for tomorrow while allowing yourself to savour and enjoy today.
Sam Instone is co-chief executive of wealth management company AES
GOLF’S RAHMBO
- 5 wins in 22 months as pro
- Three wins in past 10 starts
- 45 pro starts worldwide: 5 wins, 17 top 5s
- Ranked 551th in world on debut, now No 4 (was No 2 earlier this year)
- 5th player in last 30 years to win 3 European Tour and 2 PGA Tour titles before age 24 (Woods, Garcia, McIlroy, Spieth)
Mina Cup winners
Under 12 – Minerva Academy
Under 14 – Unam Pumas
Under 16 – Fursan Hispania
Under 18 – Madenat
Lexus LX700h specs
Engine: 3.4-litre twin-turbo V6 plus supplementary electric motor
Power: 464hp at 5,200rpm
Torque: 790Nm from 2,000-3,600rpm
Transmission: 10-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 11.7L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh590,000
The%20Killer
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The specs: 2018 Chevrolet Trailblazer
Price, base / as tested Dh99,000 / Dh132,000
Engine 3.6L V6
Transmission: Six-speed automatic
Power 275hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque 350Nm @ 3,700rpm
Fuel economy combined 12.2L / 100km
In-demand jobs and monthly salaries
- Technology expert in robotics and automation: Dh20,000 to Dh40,000
- Energy engineer: Dh25,000 to Dh30,000
- Production engineer: Dh30,000 to Dh40,000
- Data-driven supply chain management professional: Dh30,000 to Dh50,000
- HR leader: Dh40,000 to Dh60,000
- Engineering leader: Dh30,000 to Dh55,000
- Project manager: Dh55,000 to Dh65,000
- Senior reservoir engineer: Dh40,000 to Dh55,000
- Senior drilling engineer: Dh38,000 to Dh46,000
- Senior process engineer: Dh28,000 to Dh38,000
- Senior maintenance engineer: Dh22,000 to Dh34,000
- Field engineer: Dh6,500 to Dh7,500
- Field supervisor: Dh9,000 to Dh12,000
- Field operator: Dh5,000 to Dh7,000
More from Rashmee Roshan Lall
What the law says
Micro-retirement is not a recognised concept or employment status under Federal Decree Law No. 33 of 2021 on the Regulation of Labour Relations (as amended) (UAE Labour Law). As such, it reflects a voluntary work-life balance practice, rather than a recognised legal employment category, according to Dilini Loku, senior associate for law firm Gateley Middle East.
“Some companies may offer formal sabbatical policies or career break programmes; however, beyond such arrangements, there is no automatic right or statutory entitlement to extended breaks,” she explains.
“Any leave taken beyond statutory entitlements, such as annual leave, is typically regarded as unpaid leave in accordance with Article 33 of the UAE Labour Law. While employees may legally take unpaid leave, such requests are subject to the employer’s discretion and require approval.”
If an employee resigns to pursue micro-retirement, the employment contract is terminated, and the employer is under no legal obligation to rehire the employee in the future unless specific contractual agreements are in place (such as return-to-work arrangements), which are generally uncommon, Ms Loku adds.
WandaVision
Starring: Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Bettany
Directed by: Matt Shakman
Rating: Four stars
What are the main cyber security threats?
Cyber crime - This includes fraud, impersonation, scams and deepfake technology, tactics that are increasingly targeting infrastructure and exploiting human vulnerabilities.
Cyber terrorism - Social media platforms are used to spread radical ideologies, misinformation and disinformation, often with the aim of disrupting critical infrastructure such as power grids.
Cyber warfare - Shaped by geopolitical tension, hostile actors seek to infiltrate and compromise national infrastructure, using one country’s systems as a springboard to launch attacks on others.
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
THE BIO
Bio Box
Role Model: Sheikh Zayed, God bless his soul
Favorite book: Zayed Biography of the leader
Favorite quote: To be or not to be, that is the question, from William Shakespeare's Hamlet
Favorite food: seafood
Favorite place to travel: Lebanon
Favorite movie: Braveheart
In numbers: China in Dubai
The number of Chinese people living in Dubai: An estimated 200,000
Number of Chinese people in International City: Almost 50,000
Daily visitors to Dragon Mart in 2018/19: 120,000
Daily visitors to Dragon Mart in 2010: 20,000
Percentage increase in visitors in eight years: 500 per cent
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre four-cylinder turbo
Power: 268hp at 5,600rpm
Torque: 380Nm at 4,800rpm
Transmission: CVT auto
Fuel consumption: 9.5L/100km
On sale: now
Price: from Dh195,000
Wayne Rooney's career
Everton (2002-2004)
- Appearances: 48
- Goals: 17
Manchester United (2004-2017)
- Appearances: 496
- Goals: 253
England (2003-)
- Appearances: 119
- Goals: 53
Profile of Bitex UAE
Date of launch: November 2018
Founder: Monark Modi
Based: Business Bay, Dubai
Sector: Financial services
Size: Eight employees
Investors: Self-funded to date with $1m of personal savings
8 traditional Jamaican dishes to try at Kingston 21
- Trench Town Rock: Jamaican-style curry goat served in a pastry basket with a carrot and potato garnish
- Rock Steady Jerk Chicken: chicken marinated for 24 hours and slow-cooked on the grill
- Mento Oxtail: flavoured oxtail stewed for five hours with herbs
- Ackee and salt fish: the national dish of Jamaica makes for a hearty breakfast
- Jamaican porridge: another breakfast favourite, can be made with peanut, cornmeal, banana and plantain
- Jamaican beef patty: a pastry with ground beef filling
- Hellshire Pon di Beach: Fresh fish with pickles
- Out of Many: traditional sweet potato pudding
