The older I get, the more I feel certain that I do not want children.
It is a strange reversal to how I felt when I was younger. Back then, I was always the more maternal one among my friends. I had always believed (maybe incorrectly) that motherhood was just going to happen when it was the right time in my life.
But as time has gone on, it has seemed as though the “right time” no longer truly exists. Every day, there’s just bad news followed by more bad news.
For example, there’s currently the issue of the extreme weather brought on by the climate crisis – something that we have been warned about for decades but has never been taken seriously enough.
There has been an extreme heatwave in the US and Europe, devastating flooding in South Korea and miraculous snowfall in South Africa – all alarming signs of just how damaged the planet has become.
There’s also been news recently about student loans in the US. As an American, I’m also affected by how they will restart in October after being paused for the past few years because of the pandemic.
Last month, the US Supreme Court also struck down President Joe Biden’s $20,000 forgiveness plan – something that could have been a lifeline for the millions of people in debt over student loans.
Even maternity leave raises eyebrows, with too many countries, and companies, just not offering enough. Not enough care, not enough support, not enough time.
The longer the list becomes and all of this goes on, the more I feel confident this isn’t for me and it seems I am not the only one.
In the past 50 years, there has been a decline in global birth rates, which was a global average of five children in 1950 but has gone down to 2.3 in 2022, according to the World Economic Forum.
It doesn't help that we had a global pandemic that upended many lives but which also taught us how to slow down and enjoy parts of our lives we may have previously forgotten or simply overlooked.
I have nothing against people who choose to become parents, such as colleagues and, more recently, my best friend in the US. I think motherhood is the hardest job in the world, but I’m also going to be honest: I don't think I would be able to keep up, and I'm not sure I'd want to either.
This may seem selfish to some, but I value my personal freedom.
I enjoy sleeping in on the weekends or staying out late with friends. I want to spontaneously go on trips and know that I’m responsible only for myself. I enjoy finding things to do for myself, whether it's being active at the gym or playing video games. I also don't want to fall back into financial despair after working hard to get out of it.
For me, my quality of life is not defined by getting married or having children. I still have plenty of love and joy from family and friends, and any motherly instinct I feel tends to go towards helping my rescue cats.
People will ask, “What if you regret it?” but I think the same can be asked of those who decide to have children. Whichever way you cut it, the decision is life-changing. But not every woman feels the need to be a mum and the world should be OK with that.
Venom
Director: Ruben Fleischer
Cast: Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, Riz Ahmed
Rating: 1.5/5
'Avengers: Infinity War'
Dir: The Russo Brothers
Starring: Chris Evans, Chris Pratt, Tom Holland, Robert Downey Junior, Scarlett Johansson, Elizabeth Olsen
Four stars
About Krews
Founder: Ahmed Al Qubaisi
Based: Abu Dhabi
Founded: January 2019
Number of employees: 10
Sector: Technology/Social media
Funding to date: Estimated $300,000 from Hub71 in-kind support
TV: World Cup Qualifier 2018 matches will be aired on on OSN Sports HD Cricket channel
Scores
Oman 109-3 in 18.4 overs (Aqib Ilyas 45 not out, Aamir Kaleem 27) beat UAE 108-9 in 20 overs (Usman 27, Mustafa 24, Fayyaz 3-16, Bilal 3-23)
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
EA Sports FC 26
Publisher: EA Sports
Consoles: PC, PlayStation 4/5, Xbox Series X/S
Rating: 3/5
How to apply for a drone permit
- Individuals must register on UAE Drone app or website using their UAE Pass
- Add all their personal details, including name, nationality, passport number, Emiratis ID, email and phone number
- Upload the training certificate from a centre accredited by the GCAA
- Submit their request
What are the regulations?
- Fly it within visual line of sight
- Never over populated areas
- Ensure maximum flying height of 400 feet (122 metres) above ground level is not crossed
- Users must avoid flying over restricted areas listed on the UAE Drone app
- Only fly the drone during the day, and never at night
- Should have a live feed of the drone flight
- Drones must weigh 5 kg or less
School counsellors on mental well-being
Schools counsellors in Abu Dhabi have put a number of provisions in place to help support pupils returning to the classroom next week.
Many children will resume in-person lessons for the first time in 10 months and parents previously raised concerns about the long-term effects of distance learning.
Schools leaders and counsellors said extra support will be offered to anyone that needs it. Additionally, heads of years will be on hand to offer advice or coping mechanisms to ease any concerns.
“Anxiety this time round has really spiralled, more so than from the first lockdown at the beginning of the pandemic,” said Priya Mitchell, counsellor at The British School Al Khubairat in Abu Dhabi.
“Some have got used to being at home don’t want to go back, while others are desperate to get back.
“We have seen an increase in depressive symptoms, especially with older pupils, and self-harm is starting younger.
“It is worrying and has taught us how important it is that we prioritise mental well-being.”
Ms Mitchell said she was liaising more with heads of year so they can support and offer advice to pupils if the demand is there.
The school will also carry out mental well-being checks so they can pick up on any behavioural patterns and put interventions in place to help pupils.
At Raha International School, the well-being team has provided parents with assessment surveys to see how they can support students at home to transition back to school.
“They have created a Well-being Resource Bank that parents have access to on information on various domains of mental health for students and families,” a team member said.
“Our pastoral team have been working with students to help ease the transition and reduce anxiety that [pupils] may experience after some have been nearly a year off campus.
"Special secondary tutorial classes have also focused on preparing students for their return; going over new guidelines, expectations and daily schedules.”
Porsche Macan T: The Specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cyl turbo
Power: 265hp from 5,000-6,500rpm
Torque: 400Nm from 1,800-4,500rpm
Transmission: 7-speed dual-clutch auto
Speed: 0-100kph in 6.2sec
Top speed: 232kph
Fuel consumption: 10.7L/100km
On sale: May or June
Price: From Dh259,900
If you go
Flight connections to Ulaanbaatar are available through a variety of hubs, including Seoul and Beijing, with airlines including Mongolian Airlines and Korean Air. While some nationalities, such as Americans, don’t need a tourist visa for Mongolia, others, including UAE citizens, can obtain a visa on arrival, while others including UK citizens, need to obtain a visa in advance. Contact the Mongolian Embassy in the UAE for more information.
Nomadic Road offers expedition-style trips to Mongolia in January and August, and other destinations during most other months. Its nine-day August 2020 Mongolia trip will cost from $5,250 per person based on two sharing, including airport transfers, two nights’ hotel accommodation in Ulaanbaatar, vehicle rental, fuel, third party vehicle liability insurance, the services of a guide and support team, accommodation, food and entrance fees; nomadicroad.com
A fully guided three-day, two-night itinerary at Three Camel Lodge costs from $2,420 per person based on two sharing, including airport transfers, accommodation, meals and excursions including the Yol Valley and Flaming Cliffs. A return internal flight from Ulaanbaatar to Dalanzadgad costs $300 per person and the flight takes 90 minutes each way; threecamellodge.com
