The older I get, the more I feel certain that I do not want children.
It is a strange reversal to how I felt when I was younger. Back then, I was always the more maternal one among my friends. I had always believed (maybe incorrectly) that motherhood was just going to happen when it was the right time in my life.
But as time has gone on, it has seemed as though the “right time” no longer truly exists. Every day, there’s just bad news followed by more bad news.
For example, there’s currently the issue of the extreme weather brought on by the climate crisis – something that we have been warned about for decades but has never been taken seriously enough.
There has been an extreme heatwave in the US and Europe, devastating flooding in South Korea and miraculous snowfall in South Africa – all alarming signs of just how damaged the planet has become.
There’s also been news recently about student loans in the US. As an American, I’m also affected by how they will restart in October after being paused for the past few years because of the pandemic.
Last month, the US Supreme Court also struck down President Joe Biden’s $20,000 forgiveness plan – something that could have been a lifeline for the millions of people in debt over student loans.
Even maternity leave raises eyebrows, with too many countries, and companies, just not offering enough. Not enough care, not enough support, not enough time.
The longer the list becomes and all of this goes on, the more I feel confident this isn’t for me and it seems I am not the only one.
In the past 50 years, there has been a decline in global birth rates, which was a global average of five children in 1950 but has gone down to 2.3 in 2022, according to the World Economic Forum.
It doesn't help that we had a global pandemic that upended many lives but which also taught us how to slow down and enjoy parts of our lives we may have previously forgotten or simply overlooked.
I have nothing against people who choose to become parents, such as colleagues and, more recently, my best friend in the US. I think motherhood is the hardest job in the world, but I’m also going to be honest: I don't think I would be able to keep up, and I'm not sure I'd want to either.
This may seem selfish to some, but I value my personal freedom.
I enjoy sleeping in on the weekends or staying out late with friends. I want to spontaneously go on trips and know that I’m responsible only for myself. I enjoy finding things to do for myself, whether it's being active at the gym or playing video games. I also don't want to fall back into financial despair after working hard to get out of it.
For me, my quality of life is not defined by getting married or having children. I still have plenty of love and joy from family and friends, and any motherly instinct I feel tends to go towards helping my rescue cats.
People will ask, “What if you regret it?” but I think the same can be asked of those who decide to have children. Whichever way you cut it, the decision is life-changing. But not every woman feels the need to be a mum and the world should be OK with that.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Sun jukebox
Rufus Thomas, Bear Cat (The Answer to Hound Dog) (1953)
This rip-off of Leiber/Stoller’s early rock stomper brought a lawsuit against Phillips and necessitated Presley’s premature sale to RCA.
Elvis Presley, Mystery Train (1955)
The B-side of Presley’s final single for Sun bops with a drummer-less groove.
Johnny Cash and the Tennessee Two, Folsom Prison Blues (1955)
Originally recorded for Sun, Cash’s signature tune was performed for inmates of the titular prison 13 years later.
Carl Perkins, Blue Suede Shoes (1956)
Within a month of Sun’s February release Elvis had his version out on RCA.
Roy Orbison, Ooby Dooby (1956)
An essential piece of irreverent juvenilia from Orbison.
Jerry Lee Lewis, Great Balls of Fire (1957)
Lee’s trademark anthem is one of the era’s best-remembered – and best-selling – songs.
On racial profiling at airports
KILLING OF QASSEM SULEIMANI
Day 1, Dubai Test: At a glance
Moment of the day Sadeera Samarawickrama set pulses racing with his strokeplay on his introduction to Test cricket. It reached a feverish peak when he stepped down the wicket and launched Yasir Shah, who many regard as the world’s leading spinner, back over his head for six. No matter that he was out soon after: it felt as though the future had arrived.
Stat of the day - 5 The last time Sri Lanka played a Test in Dubai – they won here in 2013 – they had four players in their XI who were known as wicketkeepers. This time they have gone one better. Each of Dinesh Chandimal, Kaushal Silva, Samarawickrama, Kusal Mendis, and Niroshan Dickwella – the nominated gloveman here – can keep wicket.
The verdict Sri Lanka want to make history by becoming the first team to beat Pakistan in a full Test series in the UAE. They could not have made a better start, first by winning the toss, then by scoring freely on an easy-paced pitch. The fact Yasir Shah found some turn on Day 1, too, will have interested their own spin bowlers.
Specs
Engine: 51.5kW electric motor
Range: 400km
Power: 134bhp
Torque: 175Nm
Price: From Dh98,800
Available: Now
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
FIGHT CARD
Fights start from 6pm Friday, January 31
Catchweight 82kg
Piotr Kuberski (POL) v Ahmed Saeb (IRQ)
Women’s bantamweight
Cornelia Holm (SWE) v Corinne Laframboise (CAN)
Welterweight
Omar Hussein (JOR) v Vitalii Stoian (UKR)
Welterweight
Josh Togo (LEB) v Ali Dyusenov (UZB)
Flyweight
Isaac Pimentel (BRA) v Delfin Nawen (PHI)
Catchweight 80kg
Seb Eubank (GBR) v Mohamed El Mokadem (EGY)
Lightweight
Mohammad Yahya (UAE) v Ramadan Noaman (EGY)
Lightweight
Alan Omer (GER) v Reydon Romero (PHI)
Welterweight
Ahmed Labban (LEB) v Juho Valamaa (FIN)
Featherweight
Elias Boudegzdame (ALG) v Austin Arnett (USA)
Super heavyweight
Roman Wehbe (LEB) v Maciej Sosnowski (POL)
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cyl turbo
Power: 201hp at 5,200rpm
Torque: 320Nm at 1,750-4,000rpm
Transmission: 6-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 8.7L/100km
Price: Dh133,900
On sale: now
Meydan racecard:
6.30pm: Al Maktoum Challenge Round 2 (PA) Group 1 | US$75,000 (Dirt) | 2,200 metres
7.05pm: UAE 1000 Guineas (TB) Listed | $250,000 (D) | 1,600m
7.40pm: Meydan Classic Trial (TB) Conditions | $100,000 (Turf) | 1,400m
8.15pm: Al Shindagha Sprint (TB) Group 3 | $200,000 (D) | 1,200m
8.50pm: Handicap (TB) | $175,000 (D) | 1,600m
9.25pm: Handicap (TB) | $175,000 (T) | 2,000m
10pm: Handicap (TB) | $135,000 (T) | 1,600m
'Top Gun: Maverick'
Rating: 4/5
Directed by: Joseph Kosinski
Starring: Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, Jennifer Connelly, Jon Hamm, Miles Teller, Glen Powell, Ed Harris
LEADERBOARD
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Our legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Rock in a Hard Place: Music and Mayhem in the Middle East
Orlando Crowcroft
Zed Books
