Love letter to my girl friends: Thank you for fixing what you didn’t break

I recently came across a clip from a podcast episode featuring Jane Fonda, where she says one of the most rewarding benefits of having women friendships is the positive effect they have on your health.

The podcast comes years after the 2015 Vanity Fair interview, where she said: “It's my women friends that keep starch in my spine and without them, I don’t know where I would be.”

I’ve never related to a statement more.

Growing up in a diaspora family with two younger brothers, I learnt to take care of others very early on. I had to be a good role model for my siblings and a good daughter for my parents who sacrificed so much to raise me – Middle Eastern first-born girls, you know what I’m talking about.

My parents never gave me sisters, but I like to believe the universe did

As I grew, so did my responsibilities. Good grades, scholarships and extra-curricular activities turned into full-time jobs and side hustles to build a career, pay the bills and give back to my family.

But somewhere between trying to keep up with this fast-paced life and trying to keep a strong front for my loved ones, I began to lose myself. And it was my girl friends who helped me find me again.

They have gone from girls and young women I met at school and university, or through common friends, to people I cannot imagine my life without. Along the way, my friends have been crucial to my health.

This is not a mere sentiment, it’s science.

Jane Fonda in 2015 said: 'It's my women friends that keep starch in my spine and without them, I don’t know where I would be.' AFP

Female friendships are more frequently relied on for social support and are associated with many physical and psychological benefits, a 2022 study by the Royal Society shows. This is largely based on women’s tendency to adopt a tend-and-befriend strategy rather than fight-or-flight when faced with an environmental stressor.

These findings are nothing new. A study published by UCLA in 2000 found the “tend-and-befriend pattern” approach protects women against stress and justifies why they “live an average of seven and a half years longer than men”.

Another study by Harvard Medical School found that the more friends women have, the less likely they are to develop physical impairments as they age and the more likely they are to be leading a joyful life. Researchers concluded that not having close friends was as detrimental to your health as smoking.

So I can wholeheartedly say that I’ve been blessed. Blessed with a support system that believes in me, roots for me always and constantly pushes me to be my best.

The power of friendship and connections made far from home

My girls have been there for me through thick and thin, pulling me up when I was at my lowest and applauding my tiniest achievements. Whether it’s a promotion at work or a silly new purchase I made, they’re first in line to celebrate me. When I went through heartbreaks and horrible haircuts, they were there to comfort me. At funerals and joyous occasions, they stood by me. Never once did I feel alone, even when we lived in different time zones.

My parents never gave me sisters, but I like to believe the universe did.

The early morning coffee runs, hour-long phone calls, sunset cruises with music blasting, the road trips with a million photo attempts, the sleepovers where we pour our hearts out, the parties where we pour drinks and even the chill at-home hangouts when we don’t say a word to each other – they have all helped heal me, and I don’t take any of it for granted.

So girls, you know exactly who you are, consider this a thank-you letter. Thank you for fixing what you didn't break, and thank you for doing it well. I hope I can return the favour some day.

The specs

AT4 Ultimate, as tested

Engine: 6.2-litre V8

Power: 420hp

Torque: 623Nm

Transmission: 10-speed automatic

Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)

On sale: Now

Teachers' pay - what you need to know

Pay varies significantly depending on the school, its rating and the curriculum. Here's a rough guide as of January 2021:

- top end schools tend to pay Dh16,000-17,000 a month - plus a monthly housing allowance of up to Dh6,000. These tend to be British curriculum schools rated 'outstanding' or 'very good', followed by American schools

- average salary across curriculums and skill levels is about Dh10,000, recruiters say

- it is becoming more common for schools to provide accommodation, sometimes in an apartment block with other teachers, rather than hand teachers a cash housing allowance

- some strong performing schools have cut back on salaries since the pandemic began, sometimes offering Dh16,000 including the housing allowance, which reflects the slump in rental costs, and sheer demand for jobs

- maths and science teachers are most in demand and some schools will pay up to Dh3,000 more than other teachers in recognition of their technical skills

- at the other end of the market, teachers in some Indian schools, where fees are lower and competition among applicants is intense, can be paid as low as Dh3,000 per month

- in Indian schools, it has also become common for teachers to share residential accommodation, living in a block with colleagues

Tearful appearance

Chancellor Rachel Reeves set markets on edge as she appeared visibly distraught in parliament on Wednesday.

Legislative setbacks for the government have blown a new hole in the budgetary calculations at a time when the deficit is stubbornly large and the economy is struggling to grow.

She appeared with Keir Starmer on Thursday and the pair embraced, but he had failed to give her his backing as she cried a day earlier.

A spokesman said her upset demeanour was due to a personal matter.

Essentials

The flights
Whether you trek after mountain gorillas in Rwanda, Uganda or the Congo, the most convenient international airport is in Rwanda’s capital city, Kigali. There are direct flights from Dubai a couple of days a week with RwandAir. Otherwise, an indirect route is available via Nairobi with Kenya Airways. Flydubai flies to Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of Congo, via Entebbe in Uganda. Expect to pay from US$350 (Dh1,286) return, including taxes.
The tours
Superb ape-watching tours that take in all three gorilla countries mentioned above are run by Natural World Safaris. In September, the company will be operating a unique Ugandan ape safari guided by well-known primatologist Ben Garrod.
In the Democratic Republic of Congo, local operator Kivu Travel can organise pretty much any kind of safari throughout the Virunga National Park and elsewhere in eastern Congo.

UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets

Key facilities

Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
Premier League-standard football pitch
400m Olympic running track
NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
600-seat auditorium
Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
Specialist robotics and science laboratories
AR and VR-enabled learning centres
Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills