Kagan McLeod for The National
Kagan McLeod for The National

Simon Cowell: The man we love to hate



Everyone's favourite talent-show villain is leaving American Idol, but that does not mean we have seen the last of the media mogul. Stephen Dalton reports. Some media pundits could smell revolution in the air last month when a co-ordinated internet campaign succeeded in bouncing the American rebel-rockers Rage Against The Machine to the top of Britain's coveted Christmas singles chart ahead of the woefully bland X Factor winner Joe McElderry. The scowling Svengali behind the television talent show, Simon Cowell, was not pleased. After years of imposing his iron will on docile pop consumers, he suddenly appeared fallible. It was an exhilarating cultural wobble, a real Ceaucescu moment.

Then, of course, the conspiracy theories began to circulate. Some claimed that Cowell benefited enormously from the publicity generated by this chart challenge, transforming it from tedious certainty to genuine race, pushing up sales of both singles. Others believe he may even have engineered the campaign himself. As Rage Against The Machine are signed to Cowell's partner label, Sony, this allows him to fleece a hitherto untapped market: his enemies. Pure, evil genius.

All of which sounds a trifle far-fetched, but speaks volumes about Cowell's current public image as a kind of Machiavellian poster boy for mercenary populism. To anyone repelled by his notoriously blunt comments to aspiring young performers on The X Factor, American Idol, Britain's Got Talent and similar shows, the 50-year-old music mogul certainly exercises an unhealthy stranglehold over the lowbrow media landscape.

To his detractors, Cowell is a soulless control freak hellbent on milking maximum profit from pliant, expendable, charisma-free pop puppets. Damon Albarn of Blur calls him the "self-styled Nero of trash culture". Sting recently slammed The X Factor as "televised karaoke" hosted by "judges who have no recognisable talent apart from self-promotion." Cowell was even excoriated in The Times for promoting the "heartless, thoughtless and superficial - the flotsam and jetsam of the polluted seas of celebrity that is likely to sink without trace into toxic foam".

So when Cowell announced last week that he plans to leave American Idol following the 2010 season to launch a US version of The X Factor on the same television network, Fox, he caused much excited media comment. Many believe the move will lead to untenable schedule clashes with his television commitments in Britain. Some claim it is the first real crack in Cowell's empire, the Big Brother-style tipping point at which viewers finally turn their backs on audience-baiting talent shows. Another Rage Against The Machine moment.

Well, dream on. Cowell's transatlantic move is all part of his game plan for world domination in 2011. If it comes together, he will leap from the paltry multimillionaire league into the billion-dollar stratosphere. And rest assured, his trademark barbed comments will only get meaner - because, let's be honest, cruelty is the Cowell brand. Without his sharp tongue and smug sarcasm, American Idol and The X Factor would not attract their record-breaking ratings. Everybody knows all the most memorably nasty Hollywood villains have English accents.

But there are few clues to Cowell's pantomime villain persona in his comfortable, middle-class background. Born in 1959 in Brighton on the south coast of England, he grew up in London's leafy commuter belt. According to his oft-quoted official biography, his rags-to-riches rise through the music business ranks began in the post-room at EMI Records. Often overlooked is how his father Eric ran the giant entertainment company's property division, helping to secure his son a more prestigious role as a talent scout in the A&R (artist and repertoire) department.

Leaving EMI in the early 1980s, Cowell cofounded several smaller labels and music publishing companies, helping to launch a string of pop acts including Sonia, Westlife, Five and his sometime girlfriend, Sinitta. He also scored novelty chart hits with the television stars Robson & Jerome, Zig & Zag, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, the Teletubbies and more. Even then, musical credibility was never a concern. Commerce ruled.

And yet Cowell's music industry career was far from sparkling. There were huge successes, but just as many long-forgotten flops, and plenty of personal setbacks. When the parent company behind one of his labels went bankrupt, he was left broke and briefly lived back at home with his parents. On the day he celebrated his first British number one single with the Irish boy band Westlife, in 1999, his father died of a heart attack.

Cowell's business masterstroke came after he joined Pop Idol as a judge in 2001. In 2002 he founded another label, music publishing and television production company, Syco. A partnership with the US-owned Sony corporation, Syco now produces The X Factor and its sister shows Britain's Got Talent and America's Got Talent. With a string of chart-toppers including Il Divo, Leona Lewis, Alexandra Burke and Susan Boyle, the label now reportedly accounts for around 70 per cent of profits generated by Sony's UK music operation. But crucially, Cowell remains a bigger star than any of his acts, and infinitely richer.

It is on this unprecedented cross-media platform that Cowell has built his fortune. His sweet deal with Britain's ITV network allows him to promote his own acts on primetime television, earning him a reported £7 million (Dh42m) annually for The X Factor alone, plus a cut of every record sold. But this figure will look like chicken feed if he can apply the same business model to the US market in 2011.

So what's driving Simon Cowell? It surely can't be money, not any more. He once claimed the profit motive was "absolutely the only criterion" behind all his decisions, but he now has a personal fortune bigger than even the most profligate playboy could spend in a hundred lifetimes. Last year he was named the highest paid man on primetime US television, ahead of Donald Trump and just behind Oprah Winfrey. How can anyone need more money than Donald Trump?

According to Forbes magazine, Cowell earned £46 million last year, mostly from his appearance fees on American Idol. He reportedly owns three Rolls-Royces and five houses, including a $22 million (Dh80) Beverly Hills mansion. The Sunday Times Rich List estimates his personal fortune at around £123 million, a sum that is set to rocket when he launches The X Factor in the US. "Cowell will be our first broadcasting dollar billionaire and that will happen soon," claimed the Rich List author Philip Beresford last year.

More than money, it seems a fiercely competitive streak is Cowell's main driving force - or possibly his Achilles heel. He certainly calls it a "curse", while openly admitting that he cannot bear the thought of a competitor doing better than him. An armchair psychologist might point to the fact that his father was hugely successful, and two of his brothers are millionaires. A need to prove himself to his mother is also part of his chemistry. Tellingly, the nickname that former girlfriend Sinitta coined for Cowell was "Mummy, Look!"

Cowell's chief rival in this Freudian psychodrama is another Simon - the former Spice Girls manager Simon Fuller. Ironically, it was Fuller who launched his friend and colleague to international stardom by hiring him to fill the traditional bad-cop judge's chair on Pop Idol and American Idol. Both shows were instant hits, but tensions developed once Cowell himself became bigger than the brand. When he struck out on his own to launch The X Factor in 2004, the friendship quickly soured. Fuller and his 19 management company fired off a volley of lawsuits, accusing Cowell of ripping off their patented Pop Idol format. The case was settled in 2005, giving Fuller a minority stake in The X Factor while temporarily preventing Cowell from engaging in direct competition with his "good friend".

That legal restriction ends next year, which explains Cowell's decision to dump American Idol and launch a US version of The X Factor. Fuller reportedly offered his most famous judge "Oprah money" to stay on the show, but he refused. After years of working to make his rival richer, Cowell wants payback. This is not about money. This is personal. Beating Fuller's personal fortune, said to be around £400 million, is sure to figure in Cowell's sights.

To help realise his imperial ambitions, Cowell has joined forces with the British retail billionaire Sir Philip Green, merging his Syco operation into a newly formed joint venture, Greenwell Entertainment. The outspoken pair have promised a multimedia juggernaut that will be "bigger than Disney", relaunching The X Factor with a new permanent home in Las Vegas, complete with branded merchandise and online pay-per-view broadcasts.

So far, Cowell's plans for world domination are hardly secure. Sony have indicated they are unwilling to work with Green, but huge potential profits may help change their minds. Nobody rages against the Simon Cowell machine for long. Even when you attack him, you only make him stronger. Now that is pure, evil genius. * The National

The National's picks

4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young

A MINECRAFT MOVIE

Director: Jared Hess

Starring: Jack Black, Jennifer Coolidge, Jason Momoa

Rating: 3/5

Qosty Byogaani

Starring: Hani Razmzi, Maya Nasir and Hassan Hosny

Four stars

The Cairo Statement

 1: Commit to countering all types of terrorism and extremism in all their manifestations

2: Denounce violence and the rhetoric of hatred

3: Adhere to the full compliance with the Riyadh accord of 2014 and the subsequent meeting and executive procedures approved in 2014 by the GCC  

4: Comply with all recommendations of the Summit between the US and Muslim countries held in May 2017 in Saudi Arabia.

5: Refrain from interfering in the internal affairs of countries and of supporting rogue entities.

6: Carry out the responsibility of all the countries with the international community to counter all manifestations of extremism and terrorism that threaten international peace and security

Know before you go
  • Jebel Akhdar is a two-hour drive from Muscat airport or a six-hour drive from Dubai. It’s impossible to visit by car unless you have a 4x4. Phone ahead to the hotel to arrange a transfer.
  • If you’re driving, make sure your insurance covers Oman.
  • By air: Budget airlines Air Arabia, Flydubai and SalamAir offer direct routes to Muscat from the UAE.
  • Tourists from the Emirates (UAE nationals not included) must apply for an Omani visa online before arrival at evisa.rop.gov.om. The process typically takes several days.
  • Flash floods are probable due to the terrain and a lack of drainage. Always check the weather before venturing into any canyons or other remote areas and identify a plan of escape that includes high ground, shelter and parking where your car won’t be overtaken by sudden downpours.

 

NO OTHER LAND

Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal

Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham

Rating: 3.5/5

The alternatives

• Founded in 2014, Telr is a payment aggregator and gateway with an office in Silicon Oasis. It’s e-commerce entry plan costs Dh349 monthly (plus VAT). QR codes direct customers to an online payment page and merchants can generate payments through messaging apps.

• Business Bay’s Pallapay claims 40,000-plus active merchants who can invoice customers and receive payment by card. Fees range from 1.99 per cent plus Dh1 per transaction depending on payment method and location, such as online or via UAE mobile.

• Tap started in May 2013 in Kuwait, allowing Middle East businesses to bill, accept, receive and make payments online “easier, faster and smoother” via goSell and goCollect. It supports more than 10,000 merchants. Monthly fees range from US$65-100, plus card charges of 2.75-3.75 per cent and Dh1.2 per sale.

2checkout’s “all-in-one payment gateway and merchant account” accepts payments in 200-plus markets for 2.4-3.9 per cent, plus a Dh1.2-Dh1.8 currency conversion charge. The US provider processes online shop and mobile transactions and has 17,000-plus active digital commerce users.

• PayPal is probably the best-known online goods payment method - usually used for eBay purchases -  but can be used to receive funds, providing everyone’s signed up. Costs from 2.9 per cent plus Dh1.2 per transaction.

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The rules on fostering in the UAE

A foster couple or family must:

  • be Muslim, Emirati and be residing in the UAE
  • not be younger than 25 years old
  • not have been convicted of offences or crimes involving moral turpitude
  • be free of infectious diseases or psychological and mental disorders
  • have the ability to support its members and the foster child financially
  • undertake to treat and raise the child in a proper manner and take care of his or her health and well-being
  • A single, divorced or widowed Muslim Emirati female, residing in the UAE may apply to foster a child if she is at least 30 years old and able to support the child financially
Other ways to buy used products in the UAE

UAE insurance firm Al Wathba National Insurance Company (AWNIC) last year launched an e-commerce website with a facility enabling users to buy car wrecks.

Bidders and potential buyers register on the online salvage car auction portal to view vehicles, review condition reports, or arrange physical surveys, and then start bidding for motors they plan to restore or harvest for parts.

Physical salvage car auctions are a common method for insurers around the world to move on heavily damaged vehicles, but AWNIC is one of the few UAE insurers to offer such services online.

For cars and less sizeable items such as bicycles and furniture, Dubizzle is arguably the best-known marketplace for pre-loved.

Founded in 2005, in recent years it has been joined by a plethora of Facebook community pages for shifting used goods, including Abu Dhabi Marketplace, Flea Market UAE and Arabian Ranches Souq Market while sites such as The Luxury Closet and Riot deal largely in second-hand fashion.

At the high-end of the pre-used spectrum, resellers such as Timepiece360.ae, WatchBox Middle East and Watches Market Dubai deal in authenticated second-hand luxury timepieces from brands such as Rolex, Hublot and Tag Heuer, with a warranty.