Abdul Majeed Akkad, from Syria, takes a turn during the open mic comedy auditions organised by Comedy Arabia at Abu Dhabi Mall.
Abdul Majeed Akkad, from Syria, takes a turn during the open mic comedy auditions organised by Comedy Arabia at Abu Dhabi Mall.

Jokes fall a little flat at comedy audition



ABU DHABI // There is little worse, comedians will tell you, than performing to a nearly empty room. By 3pm yesterday, already an hour behind schedule, it looked as if that fate would befall dozens of amateurs taking part in an open-mic comedy event at Abu Dhabi Mall. That's when the host of the event, the Egyptian comic Ahmed Ahmed, sprang into action. Less than 30 minutes later, he had gathered hundreds of passers-by to the Comedy Arabia stage at the shopping centre.

The event, which was staged ahead of Mr Ahmed's comedy shows at the Beach Rotana this week, was aimed at nurturing home-grown talent. The prize was a chance to open for Mr Ahmed and fellow comedians. The contestants told jokes in Arabic and English, with varying degrees of success, until 9pm. A short time later, Mr Ahmed declared that, unfortunately, the search had been in vain. "The hunt for Abu Dhabi's best comedian continues," he said.

Earlier in the day, contestants were slow to mount the stage as they battled with nerves. But after the first few brave souls tried to bring the house down, others soon followed to tell their jokes to Ahmed and his fellow judges, including the comedian Sebastian Maniscalco and a Dubai-based rapper who calls himself The Narcycist. The most fearless contestants, agreed the panel, were the children who both sang and told jokes.

Comments from the panel were light-hearted and less abrasive than those of, say, a Simon Cowell, the UK celebrity judge who has built a reputation for berating contestants on programmes such as American Idol. Mr Ahmed, 38, set up the event to promote comedy in the UAE. "We always want to find local talent in whichever city or region we are in," he said. "When you get to a place in your career where you can try to bring people up, there is a whole list of up-and-coming artists. It's only natural to try and reach out.

"I love watching other people rise and like watching their success. I like watching their eyes sparkle when they come offstage. "When we have found comics in Beirut and Dubai and Cairo in 2007, we gave them an opportunity to perform in front of thousands of people, which they wouldn't have ever had a chance to do. We wanted to do the same thing with Abu Dhabi essentially. It's gratifying for me to watch other people's excitement."

Comedy in the Middle East has come a long way in a short time, said Mr Ahmed. "What's interesting is that about 365 days ago, there was no such thing as stand-up comedy in the Middle East. Suddenly it has become this huge gold rush and everybody is trying to sift through." Mr Ahmed was born in Helwan, Egypt. His parents emigrated to the US a short time later and he grew up in Riverside, California. He moved to Hollywood when he was 19 years old to pursue a career as an actor and stand-up comedian.

"When I leave here I am going to back to the States," Mr Ahmed said. "We want to leave some sort of impression on the region that it is possible, you can be funny. The initiative that we started with the stand-up comedy scene in the Middle East has grown far beyond we could have ever imagined." In his almost 20 years in show business, Mr Ahmed has appeared in films and television shows including Iron Man, You Don't Mess With The Zohan, Swingers, Tracey Takes On and Roseanne. In 2007 he spent a month touring the US as part of the actor Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show, which became a documentary that aired last year on HBO.

"People get competitive when they get to the top and they say 'Well, I don't need anybody else taking my crown'," said the comedian. "Me personally, I feel guilty if I am trying to just hoard it all for myself. I have never had that mentality because I don't have any ego. I compete with myself, I don't compete with any other comedians or actors." Mr Ahmed's new company, Comedy Arabia, is intended to replace his previous troupe, which staged the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour.

The name Mr Ahmed had borrowed, Axis of Evil, was a term coined by the former US president, George W Bush, in his 2002 State of the Union address to describe governments he accused of helping terrorism and seeking weapons of mass destruction. "After Axis of Evil disbanded, we had been touring for seven years. People had their own direction. President Bush is out of office so Axis of Evil is dated, so we started Comedy Arabia."

The company's headquarters are in Hollywood and the UAE. Comedians who grew up in the West will be accepted here, he said, but they have some adapting to do. "Comedians, we are reporters. We just report the news. But there is a gag order that is placed on comedians," he said. "That's the one setback that the Middle East, specifically the UAE, is going to have to deal with. In America we have freedom of speech. In the region here there is no such thing."

But overall it poses no major problems, he said. "There's enough material out there that we don't have to talk about those taboo things. I do a lot of family material." He also thinks Arabs need to lighten up. "Arabs have a hard time laughing at themselves. We take ourselves way too seriously," he said. "It's almost like the rest of the world can't laugh at us until we laugh at ourselves first." Jews are one minority who have succeeded in this way, he said.

"The Jews have it down to a science. All the Jews in Hollywood are so successful in Hollywood because they poke fun at themselves. When Arabs learn to do that, it's going to be a lot more accepted." asafdar@thenational.ae

Dubai Bling season three

Cast: Loujain Adada, Zeina Khoury, Farhana Bodi, Ebraheem Al Samadi, Mona Kattan, and couples Safa & Fahad Siddiqui and DJ Bliss & Danya Mohammed 

Rating: 1/5

THE BIO

Favourite car: Koenigsegg Agera RS or Renault Trezor concept car.

Favourite book: I Am Pilgrim by Terry Hayes or Red Notice by Bill Browder.

Biggest inspiration: My husband Nik. He really got me through a lot with his positivity.

Favourite holiday destination: Being at home in Australia, as I travel all over the world for work. It’s great to just hang out with my husband and family.

 

 

'Spies in Disguise'

Director: Nick Bruno and Troy Quane

Stars: Will Smith, Tom Holland, Karen Gillan and Roshida Jones 

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.

Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.

Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.

Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.

“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.

Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.

From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.

Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.

BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.

Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.

Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.

“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.

Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.

“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.

“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”

The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”

Uefa Nations League: How it Works

The Uefa Nations League, introduced last year, has reached its final stage, to be played over five days in northern Portugal. The format of its closing tournament is compact, spread over two semi-finals, with the first, Portugal versus Switzerland in Porto on Wednesday evening, and the second, England against the Netherlands, in Guimaraes, on Thursday.

The winners of each semi will then meet at Porto’s Dragao stadium on Sunday, with the losing semi-finalists contesting a third-place play-off in Guimaraes earlier that day.

Qualifying for the final stage was via League A of the inaugural Nations League, in which the top 12 European countries according to Uefa's co-efficient seeding system were divided into four groups, the teams playing each other twice between September and November. Portugal, who finished above Italy and Poland, successfully bid to host the finals.

Test

Director: S Sashikanth

Cast: Nayanthara, Siddharth, Meera Jasmine, R Madhavan

Star rating: 2/5