Men who fail to bond with their babies or feel worthless during or after their partners' pregnancies could be suffering from peri or postnatal depression (PND).
In the past, it was thought that only women could suffer from the illness, but now doctors believe new fathers also struggle with depression.
A report in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that 10 per cent of men across the world showed signs of depression from the first trimester of their wife's pregnancy until six months after birth.
The number increased to 26 per cent in the three to six months after the baby was born.
The report assessed 43 studies of more than 28,000 fathers worldwide and the results were published last year.
The attitude when I spoke to people was 'get on with it, men don't get post-natal depression'
Barrie Palfry
This figure is more than twice the rate of depression normally seen in men, and higher than the number of women who suffer PND, which is widely accepted to be between 10 and 20 per cent.
Barrie Palfry, 43, suffered from PND after the birth of his daughter when he was in his twenties. She was his third child.
"I didn't have any problems with my two boys, but when she was born, I just couldn't connect with her. I went through all the motions of changing nappies, but I just thought of her as a thing," said Mr Palfry who is from Manchester in the UK.
"I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I was beating myself up, but it didn't make any difference.
"I could feel myself going downhill and felt useless, I couldn’t function. I even felt suicidal at one point."
It took 11 months for the depression to lift, but during that time his illness was never diagnosed.
"I tried to speak to people, but I'm from a town in northern England, and the attitude when I spoke to people was 'get on with it, men don't get postnatal depression," said Mr Palfry.
"My partner just told me to stop being soft. There's a stigma around all mental illness, but in particular for men."
It was only many years after his illness, when he was reading up around the subject, that he realised his symptoms exactly matched those of paternal PND.
Dr Ioannis Delipalas, a Swedish psychiatrist who works in Dubai, said this was very typical in the past.
"Often men are expected to be strong and to be the provider, and they are not allowed to be depressed or to have feelings of inferiority or anything like that," said Dr Delipalas, who is medical director at Thrive Wellbeing Centre.
Now the stigma surrounding mental illness has started to dissipate. More men are coming forward and talking about their feelings, and recent studies have revealed a widespread problem of depression in fathers with young children.
Feeling like a 'third wheel'
While only 10 per cent of men feel depressed over the period covering their partner's first trimester up until six months after their baby was born, more than 86 per cent feel depressed at some stage during the first five years of their child's life.
Post-natal depression in mothers is often caused by hormonal changes. Dr Delipalas said the cause can be the same for fathers.
"There are many studies that actually show we can have fluctuations in men's hormones as well. So testosterone can drop, and oestrogen and prolactin - which are typically female hormones can rise. Also cortisol, the stress hormone can rise," said Dr Delipalas.
"There are also social or psychological explanations. For example, expecting a baby can put a lot of pressure on the man because they need to provide - so this can add and fuel depression."
Men with a history of mental illness in adolescence or early adulthood, are also more likely to suffer from paternal PND.
Relationship stresses, such as men feeling neglected or abandoned by their partner because of the baby, can add to feelings of worthlessness.
"Men can start to feel like a third wheel," said Dr Delipalas, who has treated several fathers in Dubai.
"I have met a few patients that were borderline for developing post natal depression, but we were able to monitor them and with early intervention such as therapy, and in some cases, with pharmacological treatment we were able to manage it before it became a fully established depressive episode," said Dr Delipalas.
Daddy blues
The symptoms of paternal post natal depression are different to the normal "daddy blues" of feeling low or a little bit stressed.
Any father suffering from long-term, persistent depression, feelings of worthlessness, anger, decreased libido and a tendency to indulge in risky behaviour such as substance abuse could be struggling with PND.
In these situations, professional help should be sought, either from a psychologist or perhaps from a psychiatrist, depending on the severity of the illness.
Men should be encouraged to speak out, as sometimes just to be heard is very therapeutic, said Dr Delipalas.
Mr Palfry said he has now learned not to be ashamed of his feelings.
"I had a few problems last year, and I reached out to so many people. I just poured my heart out to anyone who would listen, even my work colleagues," he said.
"There are also lots of organisations, such as the National Childbirth Trust - a UK charity for parents, or even your local doctor who will give you the help you need."
In the UAE most mental health services are provided by private clinics, although during the pandemic the government set up the UAE mental health support line which can be reached by dialling 800-HOPE or 800 4673.
Company%20profile
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Living in...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
List of alleged parties
- May 15 2020: Boris Johnson is said to have attended a Downing Street pizza party
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Ferrari
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Skoda Superb Specs
Engine: 2-litre TSI petrol
Power: 190hp
Torque: 320Nm
Price: From Dh147,000
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- Individuals must register on UAE Drone app or website using their UAE Pass
- Add all their personal details, including name, nationality, passport number, Emiratis ID, email and phone number
- Upload the training certificate from a centre accredited by the GCAA
- Submit their request
What are the regulations?
- Fly it within visual line of sight
- Never over populated areas
- Ensure maximum flying height of 400 feet (122 metres) above ground level is not crossed
- Users must avoid flying over restricted areas listed on the UAE Drone app
- Only fly the drone during the day, and never at night
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Wicked
Director: Jon M Chu
Stars: Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande, Jonathan Bailey
Islamophobia definition
A widely accepted definition was made by the All Party Parliamentary Group on British Muslims in 2019: “Islamophobia is rooted in racism and is a type of racism that targets expressions of Muslimness or perceived Muslimness.” It further defines it as “inciting hatred or violence against Muslims”.
Dates for the diary
To mark Bodytree’s 10th anniversary, the coming season will be filled with celebratory activities:
- September 21 Anyone interested in becoming a certified yoga instructor can sign up for a 250-hour course in Yoga Teacher Training with Jacquelene Sadek. It begins on September 21 and will take place over the course of six weekends.
- October 18 to 21 International yoga instructor, Yogi Nora, will be visiting Bodytree and offering classes.
- October 26 to November 4 International pilates instructor Courtney Miller will be on hand at the studio, offering classes.
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Healthy tips to remember
Here, Dr Mohamed El Abiary, paediatric consultant at Al Zahra Hospital Dubai, shares some advice for parents whose children are fasting during the holy month of Ramadan:
Gradual fasting and golden points - For children under the age of 10, follow a step-by-step approach to fasting and don't push them beyond their limits. Start with a few hours fasting a day and increase it to a half fast and full fast when the child is ready. Every individual's ability varies as per the age and personal readiness. You could introduce a points system that awards the child and offers them encouragement when they make progress with the amount of hours they fast
Why fast? - Explain to your child why they are fasting. By shedding light on the importance of abstaining from food and drink, children may feel more encouraged to give it there all during the observance period. It is also a good opportunity to teach children about controlling urges, doing good for others and instilling healthy food habits
Sleep and suhoor - A child needs adequate sleep every night - at least eight hours. Make sure to set a routine early bedtime so he/she has sufficient time to wake up for suhoor, which is an essential meal at the beginning of the day
Good diet - Nutritious food is crucial to ensuring a healthy Ramadan for children. They must refrain from eating too much junk food as well as canned goods and snacks and drinks high in sugar. Foods that are rich in nutrients, vitamins and proteins, like fruits, fresh meats and vegetables, make for a good balanced diet
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What: 2006 World Cup quarter-final
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England 0 Portugal 0
(Portugal win 3-1 on penalties)
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Pay varies significantly depending on the school, its rating and the curriculum. Here's a rough guide as of January 2021:
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- it is becoming more common for schools to provide accommodation, sometimes in an apartment block with other teachers, rather than hand teachers a cash housing allowance
- some strong performing schools have cut back on salaries since the pandemic began, sometimes offering Dh16,000 including the housing allowance, which reflects the slump in rental costs, and sheer demand for jobs
- maths and science teachers are most in demand and some schools will pay up to Dh3,000 more than other teachers in recognition of their technical skills
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Global state-owned investor ranking by size
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Company profile
Date started: December 24, 2018
Founders: Omer Gurel, chief executive and co-founder and Edebali Sener, co-founder and chief technology officer
Based: Dubai Media City
Number of employees: 42 (34 in Dubai and a tech team of eight in Ankara, Turkey)
Sector: ConsumerTech and FinTech
Cashflow: Almost $1 million a year
Funding: Series A funding of $2.5m with Series B plans for May 2020
Quick pearls of wisdom
Focus on gratitude: And do so deeply, he says. “Think of one to three things a day that you’re grateful for. It needs to be specific, too, don’t just say ‘air.’ Really think about it. If you’re grateful for, say, what your parents have done for you, that will motivate you to do more for the world.”
Know how to fight: Shetty married his wife, Radhi, three years ago (he met her in a meditation class before he went off and became a monk). He says they’ve had to learn to respect each other’s “fighting styles” – he’s a talk it-out-immediately person, while she needs space to think. “When you’re having an argument, remember, it’s not you against each other. It’s both of you against the problem. When you win, they lose. If you’re on a team you have to win together.”
Nepotism is the name of the game
Salman Khan’s father, Salim Khan, is one of Bollywood’s most legendary screenwriters. Through his partnership with co-writer Javed Akhtar, Salim is credited with having paved the path for the Indian film industry’s blockbuster format in the 1970s. Something his son now rules the roost of. More importantly, the Salim-Javed duo also created the persona of the “angry young man” for Bollywood megastar Amitabh Bachchan in the 1970s, reflecting the angst of the average Indian. In choosing to be the ordinary man’s “hero” as opposed to a thespian in new Bollywood, Salman Khan remains tightly linked to his father’s oeuvre. Thanks dad.
