This bloke's last smoke



I’ve been scaling back my chain-smoking operations, in anticipation of the great habit purge next week. As most of us do, I have several vices. Among my worst is chain smoking, which I’ve done for years upon years, as Carl Sagan might say.

It's a tad ironic that this comes when I'm working in Abu Dhabi — a much more smoker-friendly city than any I've lived in. Of course shisha is ironically the exception, with the capital's implementation of new regulations. I've had interviewees speak through smoke in their office, and it seems even hotel lobbies aren't off limits. This is a veritable paradise for smokers — how lovely, to be able to light up in a bright, window-walled coffee shop with a good book.

But all things must pass. Last November, I quit smoking for about a month. I actually began a blog post at the time about the challenges and pride associated with quitting. However, one cigarette lead to another, and soon I was back off the tobacco wagon. I am very glad it didn’t get published before I started smoking again though. I would’ve looked quite silly.

Come January, I decided to give it another go. But I just couldn’t get back into the flow of it — it was just so hard to break that cycle. I’d tell myself I could have a cigarette in the morning and be done with it. But then I’d have one ‘last one’ in the car, then one ‘last one’ when I got to work, one ‘last one’ after lunch and so forth until I resigned myself to try again the next day. Repeat this misadventure daily.

I really don’t enjoy it all that much anymore. I only get a buzz if I haven’t smoked for a millennium, and even then it requires elaborate Tibetan breathing techniques to replicate the wondrous rush. I’ve realised nicotine gum is a much more pleasant medium to inject poison into my bloodstream. It's much stronger, cleaner, and tastier.

I turned 25 a few days ago and it really is time to start taking my health more seriously. I’ve been experiencing chest pain sporadically over the past few years. Sometimes it’s a dull ache, sometimes a sharp shanking. In a neurotic spell, I went for two chest X-rays last year, just to make sure it was all in order. It was. When better to quit? If you have chronic agony and don’t realise it’s time to stop, then a bad habit is the least of your worries.

It’s largely psychological for me, a ritual. The hourly cigarette break gives me time to relax and zone out. Today, though, having gone the longest without a cigarette that I have in a long time, I can sense the chemical withdrawal seeping in. In truth, I’m a zombie minus the cannibalism. Words are difficult at this point in my life. But I’ve worked out little replacement habits and coping mechanisms to nudge me along.

The nicotine gum does assist, but it makes you a little loony after a while. And I’m loony enough as it is. Chocolate and sweets, it is. Better still — and I admit this is very weird — instead of going outside for a cigarette, I’ll go and sit in my car with the engine off. My office is freezing, so sitting in a warm car with my eyes shut is a bit like meditating in a dry sauna. Good times at the Rav4, dubbed Sir Ravi, Spa.

Anyway, this time I’m quitting for real. I can’t stand the phrase “trying to quit”, because as Yoda says: “Do. Or do not. There is no try.”

I’m sorry Nicotene, it’s not you — it’s me.

Follow me on twitter at @harethb

The National's picks

4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young

In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe

Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010

Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille

Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm

Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year

Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”

Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners

TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013 

NO OTHER LAND

Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal

Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham

Rating: 3.5/5

Schedule:

Pakistan v Sri Lanka:
28 Sep-2 Oct, 1st Test, Abu Dhabi
6-10 Oct, 2nd Test (day-night), Dubai
13 Oct, 1st ODI, Dubai
16 Oct, 2nd ODI, Abu Dhabi
18 Oct, 3rd ODI, Abu Dhabi
20 Oct, 4th ODI, Sharjah
23 Oct, 5th ODI, Sharjah
26 Oct, 1st T20I, Abu Dhabi
27 Oct, 2nd T20I, Abu Dhabi
29 Oct, 3rd T20I, Lahore

THREE
%3Cp%3EDirector%3A%20Nayla%20Al%20Khaja%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EStarring%3A%20Jefferson%20Hall%2C%20Faten%20Ahmed%2C%20Noura%20Alabed%2C%20Saud%20Alzarooni%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3ERating%3A%203.5%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Our legal consultants

Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.

THE%C2%A0SPECS
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Electoral College Victory

Trump has so far secured 295 Electoral College votes, according to the Associated Press, exceeding the 270 needed to win. Only Nevada and Arizona remain to be called, and both swing states are leaning Republican. Trump swept all five remaining swing states, North Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, sealing his path to victory and giving him a strong mandate. 

 

Popular Vote Tally

The count is ongoing, but Trump currently leads with nearly 51 per cent of the popular vote to Harris’s 47.6 per cent. Trump has over 72.2 million votes, while Harris trails with approximately 67.4 million.

Name: Peter Dicce

Title: Assistant dean of students and director of athletics

Favourite sport: soccer

Favourite team: Bayern Munich

Favourite player: Franz Beckenbauer

Favourite activity in Abu Dhabi: scuba diving in the Northern Emirates 

 

COMPANY%20PROFILE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Revibe%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%202022%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Hamza%20Iraqui%20and%20Abdessamad%20Ben%20Zakour%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20UAE%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EIndustry%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Refurbished%20electronics%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunds%20raised%20so%20far%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%2410m%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFlat6Labs%2C%20Resonance%20and%20various%20others%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre flat-six
Power: 510hp at 9,000rpm
Torque: 450Nm at 6,100rpm
Transmission: 7-speed PDK auto or 6-speed manual
Fuel economy, combined: 13.8L/100km
On sale: Available to order now
Price: From Dh801,800
The specs

AT4 Ultimate, as tested

Engine: 6.2-litre V8

Power: 420hp

Torque: 623Nm

Transmission: 10-speed automatic

Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)

On sale: Now

The specs

Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cylinder turbo

Power: 240hp at 5,500rpm

Torque: 390Nm at 3,000rpm

Transmission: eight-speed auto

Price: from Dh122,745

On sale: now

Diriyah%20project%20at%20a%20glance
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The specs

Engine: 1.5-litre turbo

Power: 181hp

Torque: 230Nm

Transmission: 6-speed automatic

Starting price: Dh79,000

On sale: Now

Skewed figures

In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458. 

WHAT IS A BLACK HOLE?

1. Black holes are objects whose gravity is so strong not even light can escape their pull

2. They can be created when massive stars collapse under their own weight

3. Large black holes can also be formed when smaller ones collide and merge

4. The biggest black holes lurk at the centre of many galaxies, including our own

5. Astronomers believe that when the universe was very young, black holes affected how galaxies formed

Anghami
Started: December 2011
Co-founders: Elie Habib, Eddy Maroun
Based: Beirut and Dubai
Sector: Entertainment
Size: 85 employees
Stage: Series C
Investors: MEVP, du, Mobily, MBC, Samena Capital

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  1. Join parent networks
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