Recently, I was involved in a terrible crash. It was a case of driver error [mine] that hurt many of those around me. But this wasn't your average sort of crash. It was a virtual crash, that occurred on www.thenational.ae shortly after a candid blog post about my driving habits. Apparently, boasting about speeding recklessly isn't a good career move for a budding motoring journalist. Who knew?
The heated, some say nuclear, response to what became known as "blog-gate" threatened to spiral out of control. As readers called for my head on a plate, crisis meetings took place involving important-looking newspapermen with deep frowns on their faces, who kept tut-tutting and shaking their heads. Colleagues would refuse to hold my gaze, their faces red with anger, like constipated babies ready to explode. My boss was called in to the managing editor's office where he was rumoured to have disappeared down a trapdoor into a dungeon reserved for the world's most evil journalists. I feared I was to follow.
But the powers that be had something else in store for your humble narrator. I was to undergo correction therapy, courtesy of driving experts at Yas Marina Race Track. The idea was to break me down, through repeated demonstrations of how bad my motoring skills were until I could no longer take it, until even the very thought of speeding made me sick. They would then build me back up in the mould of a responsible driver, reliable as clockwork.
I must confess, at this point I resented the very suggestion that I needed fixing. Wasn’t the decision to speed my own free choice? And if this choice were taken away, in what sense would it still be me - flawed but human Ayesha - who was driving the car? Would I be able to take credit for driving responsibly when the clockwork driver inside me was incapable of choosing any different?
EYES WIDE OPEN
Arriving for my correction therapy at Yas Racing School was an eye-opening experience.
The staff briefed me on the plan for my rehabilitation before taking me to a practice track where a yellow Renault was parked. The mere sight of it made my foot twitch, as I imagined it pushing down on the accelerator. I wanted to speed, speed....SPEEEEEEED. Sweet Carolina let me speed!
But try as I might, my instinct was thwarted. The car was a manual, and I struggled to change gears.
I became confused, my flailing limbs not knowing whether to kick at the accelerator or the clutch. My inner speed demon raged, raged against the dying of the light.
LOOK MUM, TWO HANDS!
My first exercise was to drive zig-zag through a line of cones without hitting them. My instructor told me to position my hands on the wheel at 3 and 9 O’Clock. What was this ‘two hands’ business I wondered. I usually steer with just one, keeping the other free for activities such as answering the phone, or drinking coffee. But on the race track this approach didn’t work so well. I hit more than seven cones.
GIVE ME A BRAKE!
The next exercise was about avoiding obstacles, first by braking, then by swerving. The instructor told me to reach 70kph – a fraction of the 180kph I once boasted about doing – before hitting the brakes hard. Yet even at 30kph I couldn’t stop before hitting the cones. I lost count of the number I knocked over. Swerving didn’t work either. Had I been on the Sheikh Zayed Road each of these cones could have been a living being, a labourer running across the road, or a cat thrown from a vehicle.
GETTING THE SKIDS
For the next exercise, I was sent to the skid pan – a wet, slippery area with fountains of water that showered the car and the surrounding area to induce skidding.
The idea was to learn how to regain control of the vehicle. It sounds fun, but is far from easy. Every time I entered the pan I ended up skidding out, whirling around like an out-of-control spinning top. My inner speed demon was down, but not quite out.
CONE MASSACRE
The final exercise required me to use all my ‘skills’ at once. So, accelerating at 50kph, with [both] my hands positioned on the steering wheel I headed back towards the zig-zag lane.
Yet I remained as manoeuvrable as a battle ship, and as I ploughed through, cones flew in all directions. Not a single one was spared. The little orange triangles lay scattered around the track like the final shreds of my self-esteem.
Deep inside me, my inner speed demon wept. It knew the game was up.
CLOCK STRIKES 13
Looking back on my experience, I realise it changed me for the better. No matter how much I once tried to convince myself that I was in control, I know now that I wasn’t.
I look at young people speeding now and think how childish their actions seem. Perhaps speeding is just a stage in life that some of us have to go through, and purge from our systems, before we can grow up and move on.
I know I am not the only young person who has exorcised her inner speed demon thanks to the kind people at Yas. There are many of us, out there on the nation’s roads, highways, and sometimes even the dunes. But you won’t know we are there. We no longer announce our presence with a rev of our motors, a honk of our horns, or the flash of our headlights as we tailgate some poor soul. We leave that to the younger ones who are still battling their demons. That’s because we’ve grown up, our lives have moved on, just like clockwork.
Read the whole story here or in the Weekend section in Friday’s The National. You can even watch me destroy a few cones at www.thenational.ae/multimedia.
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Profile of Udrive
Date started: March 2016
Founder: Hasib Khan
Based: Dubai
Employees: 40
Amount raised (to date): $3.25m – $750,000 seed funding in 2017 and a Seed round of $2.5m last year. Raised $1.3m from Eureeca investors in January 2021 as part of a Series A round with a $5m target.
Company%C2%A0profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EOutsized%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2016%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EAzeem%20Zainulbhai%2C%20Niclas%20Thelander%2C%20Anurag%20Bhalla%20and%20Johann%20van%20Niekerk%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EIndia%2C%20South%20Africa%2C%20South-East%20Asia%2C%20Mena%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Recruitment%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20raised%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%241%20million%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ECurrent%20staff%20count%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2040%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESeed%20and%20angel%20investors%0D%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Results
Stage Two:
1. Mark Cavendish (GBR) QuickStep-AlphaVinyl 04:20:45
2. Jasper Philipsen (BEL) Alpecin-Fenix
3. Pascal Ackermann (GER) UAE Team Emirates
4. Olav Kooij (NED) Jumbo-Visma
5. Arnaud Demare (FRA) Groupama-FDJ
General Classification:
1. Jasper Philipsen (BEL) Alpecin-Fenix 09:03:03
2. Dmitry Strakhov (RUS) Gazprom-Rusvelo 00:00:04
3. Mark Cavendish (GBR) QuickStep-AlphaVinyl 00:00:06
4. Sam Bennett (IRL) Bora-Hansgrohe 00:00:10
5. Pascal Ackermann (GER) UAE Team Emirates 00:00:12
In-demand jobs and monthly salaries
- Technology expert in robotics and automation: Dh20,000 to Dh40,000
- Energy engineer: Dh25,000 to Dh30,000
- Production engineer: Dh30,000 to Dh40,000
- Data-driven supply chain management professional: Dh30,000 to Dh50,000
- HR leader: Dh40,000 to Dh60,000
- Engineering leader: Dh30,000 to Dh55,000
- Project manager: Dh55,000 to Dh65,000
- Senior reservoir engineer: Dh40,000 to Dh55,000
- Senior drilling engineer: Dh38,000 to Dh46,000
- Senior process engineer: Dh28,000 to Dh38,000
- Senior maintenance engineer: Dh22,000 to Dh34,000
- Field engineer: Dh6,500 to Dh7,500
- Field supervisor: Dh9,000 to Dh12,000
- Field operator: Dh5,000 to Dh7,000
The biog
Name: Capt Shadia Khasif
Position: Head of the Criminal Registration Department at Hatta police
Family: Five sons and three daughters
The first female investigator in Hatta.
Role Model: Father
She believes that there is a solution to every problem
Full Party in the Park line-up
2pm – Andreah
3pm – Supernovas
4.30pm – The Boxtones
5.30pm – Lighthouse Family
7pm – Step On DJs
8pm – Richard Ashcroft
9.30pm – Chris Wright
10pm – Fatboy Slim
11pm – Hollaphonic
The Greatest Royal Rumble card as it stands
50-man Royal Rumble - names entered so far include Braun Strowman, Daniel Bryan, Kurt Angle, Big Show, Kane, Chris Jericho, The New Day and Elias
Universal Championship Brock Lesnar (champion) v Roman Reigns in a steel cage match
WWE World Heavyweight Championship AJ Styles (champion) v Shinsuke Nakamura
Intercontinental Championship Seth Rollins (champion) v The Miz v Finn Balor v Samoa Joe
United States Championship Jeff Hardy (champion) v Jinder Mahal
SmackDown Tag Team Championship The Bludgeon Brothers (champions) v The Usos
Raw Tag Team Championship (currently vacant) Cesaro and Sheamus v Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt
Casket match The Undertaker v Chris Jericho
Singles match John Cena v Triple H
Cruiserweight Championship Cedric Alexander v tba
Race%20card
%3Cp%3E6pm%3A%20Al%20Maktoum%20Challenge%20Round%201%20%E2%80%93%20Group%201%20(PA)%20%2450%2C000%20(Dirt)%201%2C600m%3Cbr%3E6.35pm%3A%20Dubai%20Racing%20Club%20Classic%20%E2%80%93%20Handicap%20(TB)%20%24100%2C000%20(D)%202%2C410m%3Cbr%3E7.10pm%3A%20Dubawi%20Stakes%20%E2%80%93%20Group%203%20(TB)%20%24150%2C000%20(D)%201%2C200m%3Cbr%3E7.45pm%3A%20Jumeirah%20Classic%20Trial%20%E2%80%93%20Conditions%20(TB)%20%24150%2C000%20(Turf)%201%2C400m%3Cbr%3E8.20pm%3A%20Al%20Maktoum%20Challenge%20Round%201%20%E2%80%93%20Group%202%20(TB)%20%24250%2C000%20(D)%201%2C600m%3Cbr%3E8.55pm%3A%20Al%20Fahidi%20Fort%20%E2%80%93%20Group%202%20(TB)%20%24180%2C000%20(T)%201%2C400m%3Cbr%3E9.30pm%3A%20Ertijaal%20Dubai%20Dash%20%E2%80%93%20Listed%20(TB)%20%24100%2C000%20(T)%201%2C000m%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Tips for job-seekers
- Do not submit your application through the Easy Apply button on LinkedIn. Employers receive between 600 and 800 replies for each job advert on the platform. If you are the right fit for a job, connect to a relevant person in the company on LinkedIn and send them a direct message.
- Make sure you are an exact fit for the job advertised. If you are an HR manager with five years’ experience in retail and the job requires a similar candidate with five years’ experience in consumer, you should apply. But if you have no experience in HR, do not apply for the job.
David Mackenzie, founder of recruitment agency Mackenzie Jones Middle East
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
Started: 2021
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
Based: Tunisia
Sector: Water technology
Number of staff: 22
Investment raised: $4 million
How to wear a kandura
Dos
- Wear the right fabric for the right season and occasion
- Always ask for the dress code if you don’t know
- Wear a white kandura, white ghutra / shemagh (headwear) and black shoes for work
- Wear 100 per cent cotton under the kandura as most fabrics are polyester
Don’ts
- Wear hamdania for work, always wear a ghutra and agal
- Buy a kandura only based on how it feels; ask questions about the fabric and understand what you are buying
The Sand Castle
Director: Matty Brown
Stars: Nadine Labaki, Ziad Bakri, Zain Al Rafeea, Riman Al Rafeea
Rating: 2.5/5
What the law says
Micro-retirement is not a recognised concept or employment status under Federal Decree Law No. 33 of 2021 on the Regulation of Labour Relations (as amended) (UAE Labour Law). As such, it reflects a voluntary work-life balance practice, rather than a recognised legal employment category, according to Dilini Loku, senior associate for law firm Gateley Middle East.
“Some companies may offer formal sabbatical policies or career break programmes; however, beyond such arrangements, there is no automatic right or statutory entitlement to extended breaks,” she explains.
“Any leave taken beyond statutory entitlements, such as annual leave, is typically regarded as unpaid leave in accordance with Article 33 of the UAE Labour Law. While employees may legally take unpaid leave, such requests are subject to the employer’s discretion and require approval.”
If an employee resigns to pursue micro-retirement, the employment contract is terminated, and the employer is under no legal obligation to rehire the employee in the future unless specific contractual agreements are in place (such as return-to-work arrangements), which are generally uncommon, Ms Loku adds.
The specs
AT4 Ultimate, as tested
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Power: 420hp
Torque: 623Nm
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)
On sale: Now
Nick's journey in numbers
Countries so far: 85
Flights: 149
Steps: 3.78 million
Calories: 220,000
Floors climbed: 2,000
Donations: GPB37,300
Prostate checks: 5
Blisters: 15
Bumps on the head: 2
Dog bites: 1
How the UAE gratuity payment is calculated now
Employees leaving an organisation are entitled to an end-of-service gratuity after completing at least one year of service.
The tenure is calculated on the number of days worked and does not include lengthy leave periods, such as a sabbatical. If you have worked for a company between one and five years, you are paid 21 days of pay based on your final basic salary. After five years, however, you are entitled to 30 days of pay. The total lump sum you receive is based on the duration of your employment.
1. For those who have worked between one and five years, on a basic salary of Dh10,000 (calculation based on 30 days):
a. Dh10,000 ÷ 30 = Dh333.33. Your daily wage is Dh333.33
b. Dh333.33 x 21 = Dh7,000. So 21 days salary equates to Dh7,000 in gratuity entitlement for each year of service. Multiply this figure for every year of service up to five years.
2. For those who have worked more than five years
c. 333.33 x 30 = Dh10,000. So 30 days’ salary is Dh10,000 in gratuity entitlement for each year of service.
Note: The maximum figure cannot exceed two years total salary figure.
BIGGEST CYBER SECURITY INCIDENTS IN RECENT TIMES
SolarWinds supply chain attack: Came to light in December 2020 but had taken root for several months, compromising major tech companies, governments and its entities
Microsoft Exchange server exploitation: March 2021; attackers used a vulnerability to steal emails
Kaseya attack: July 2021; ransomware hit perpetrated REvil, resulting in severe downtime for more than 1,000 companies
Log4j breach: December 2021; attackers exploited the Java-written code to inflitrate businesses and governments
Sheer grandeur
The Owo building is 14 storeys high, seven of which are below ground, with the 30,000 square feet of amenities located subterranean, including a 16-seat private cinema, seven lounges, a gym, games room, treatment suites and bicycle storage.
A clear distinction between the residences and the Raffles hotel with the amenities operated separately.
Results:
First Test: New Zealand 30 British & Irish Lions 15
Second Test: New Zealand 21 British & Irish Lions 24
Third Test: New Zealand 15 British & Irish Lions 15
