I’m in a WhatsApp group called Gully’s Travels and it’s used to tease a friend. It’s not short for Gulliver but does nod to Jonathan Swift’s 300-year-old satirical classic. Instead, it’s short for Gullible and represents his holiday style of “I’ll pay literally anything as long as it’s a travel fad”.
Gluten-free beach weekenders. Done. Reiki mountain retreat for singletons. Done. Catch, kill and cook your steak. Well done.
He spends as much time searching for pointless holidays as he does taking them. And the more lazy, expensive and wasteful the better. This week, our group pinged with an image of his latest adventure. A giant bed in a windowless room that supposedly offers guests one of the quietest night’s sleeps on Earth – until they wake up to a $525 bill and realise it was all just an overpriced nightmare.
“Oh, little bit of me time. Can't wait, needed this,” he wrote after a 14-hour door-to-door journey. Instead of spending that time falling into the ghastly trap of sleep tourism, he should've had the mother of all naps on the sofa watching reruns of Friends on Neftlix instead, like he does every weekend anyway.
For me, impatience is a virtue. And when I’m on holiday, if there is one word that is laced with the ick factor it is 'relax'
However, he’s not alone. His style of travel combines some of next year’s biggest trends, according to research by Hilton. While it recently found 70 per cent of people want to be active when they travel, 20 per cent want to go “hurkle-durkling” instead – a Scottish phrase that means lounging in bed all day that recently did the rounds on TikTok, apparently. I know this because I googled it.
And, according to the survey of 13,000 people in 13 countries, a further 25 per cent will book a spa or wellness treatment to enhance sleep. Here’s another way of putting it: 20 per cent of people should just stay in bed at home and the other 25 per cent should save their money … by staying in bed.
Holidays are a privilege and I’ve always been firmly with the 70 per cent who want to do something worthwhile on them. But I need proper active, not a couple of tours thinly spread over a leisurely fortnight. I squeeze in as much as I can whether that’s cities, sights or food.
Sicily? Completed it in three days. Mekong River? Sailed it in four. Whether hiking in Jordan or South Africa, sailing around the Phillippines or zipping through Thailand on trains, I try to cross a country as quickly as the UK churns through prime ministers. It proved tricky in Laos and Cuba, where they barely have any tarmac that isn't pockmarked with sinkholes.
For me, impatience is a virtue. And when I’m on holiday, if there is one word that is laced with the ick factor it is “relax”. Hideous. I can’t abide the thought of it. It’s not a sensible use of time.
Imagine if history's greatest explorers were sucked into a sleep tourism vortex instead of setting off where no one else had been before. All their diaries would just read: “Was about to go discover, felt tired so sailed to a different port and dozed off instead. Lols.” Everest still wouldn't have been conquered, no one would know about America and we'd probably all still think the Earth was flat.
When it comes to seeing the world, sleep is the first thing to sacrifice. No one looks back on a holiday and says: “Ah yes, Australia 2017. Nothing like eight hours Down Under.” It takes about a year to get over the jet lag anyway so why not eat a ‘roo burger in Melbourne at 2am, climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge nine hours north at noon and go surfing on the Gold Coast by nightfall?
However, I will admit the hardcore cramming of exploration is a young person’s game. When I first started travelling alone or in groups of two or three, I was in my late teens. An average day would involve something like 18 hours of pinballing around a city’s landmarks, getting lost, getting cross, getting back on track across 35,000 steps fuelled by about a gazillion espressos and cheap hand-rolled cigarettes.
We’d snatch a couple of hours of sleep where we could on overnight buses, trains or airport floors (I once slept in London’s Trafalgar Square) and repeat it all the following day. Now I’ve stubbed out the smoking habit, barely drink coffee and get as far as the front door before my back pleads: “No more!” But the memories are there, and they weren’t made by lounging around all day.
While the study suggests most travellers want to join organised excursions, many of the best moments were ones I’d stumbled across either accidentally or by following another adventurer’s tip.
I found an old lady who made scarecrows and plunged them into the ground to frighten the local children in Latvia. I met a man with a tattoo of Manchester United’s badge in the middle of his forehead in Bulgaria – he had also changed his name to his beloved team. And, while dressed as a Jedi in the Sahara, I reenacted a Star Wars fight scene with a Tunisian shepherd in full Darth Vader regalia. Lightsabres included.
Best of all, they were all free. While they are not the sort of excursions pedalled out en masse by travel agents or the ones ramping up the envy factor on TikTok, nor are they the overpriced fads my friend will be needled for in Gully's Travels. They are exactly the sort of things you can’t do rotting in bed.
Ferrari 12Cilindri specs
Engine: naturally aspirated 6.5-liter V12
Power: 819hp
Torque: 678Nm at 7,250rpm
Price: From Dh1,700,000
Available: Now
The specs
- Engine: 3.9-litre twin-turbo V8
- Power: 640hp
- Torque: 760nm
- On sale: 2026
- Price: Not announced yet
GAC GS8 Specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4cyl turbo
Power: 248hp at 5,200rpm
Torque: 400Nm at 1,750-4,000rpm
Transmission: 8-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 9.1L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh149,900
The years Ramadan fell in May
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
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The specs: 2018 Peugeot 5008
Price, base / as tested: Dh99,900 / Dh134,900
Engine: 1.6-litre turbocharged four-cylinder
Transmission: Six-speed automatic
Power: 165hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 240Nm @ 1,400rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 5.8L / 100km
The five new places of worship
Church of South Indian Parish
St Andrew's Church Mussaffah branch
St Andrew's Church Al Ain branch
St John's Baptist Church, Ruwais
Church of the Virgin Mary and St Paul the Apostle, Ruwais
Seven tips from Emirates NBD
1. Never respond to e-mails, calls or messages asking for account, card or internet banking details
2. Never store a card PIN (personal identification number) in your mobile or in your wallet
3. Ensure online shopping websites are secure and verified before providing card details
4. Change passwords periodically as a precautionary measure
5. Never share authentication data such as passwords, card PINs and OTPs (one-time passwords) with third parties
6. Track bank notifications regarding transaction discrepancies
7. Report lost or stolen debit and credit cards immediately
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Defence review at a glance
• Increase defence spending to 2.5% of GDP by 2027 but given “turbulent times it may be necessary to go faster”
• Prioritise a shift towards working with AI and autonomous systems
• Invest in the resilience of military space systems.
• Number of active reserves should be increased by 20%
• More F-35 fighter jets required in the next decade
• New “hybrid Navy” with AUKUS submarines and autonomous vessels
THE CLOWN OF GAZA
Director: Abdulrahman Sabbah
Starring: Alaa Meqdad
Rating: 4/5
Sole survivors
- Cecelia Crocker was on board Northwest Airlines Flight 255 in 1987 when it crashed in Detroit, killing 154 people, including her parents and brother. The plane had hit a light pole on take off
- George Lamson Jr, from Minnesota, was on a Galaxy Airlines flight that crashed in Reno in 1985, killing 68 people. His entire seat was launched out of the plane
- Bahia Bakari, then 12, survived when a Yemenia Airways flight crashed near the Comoros in 2009, killing 152. She was found clinging to wreckage after floating in the ocean for 13 hours.
- Jim Polehinke was the co-pilot and sole survivor of a 2006 Comair flight that crashed in Lexington, Kentucky, killing 49.
The specs
AT4 Ultimate, as tested
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Power: 420hp
Torque: 623Nm
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)
On sale: Now
Baby Driver
Director: Edgar Wright
Starring: Ansel Elgort, Kevin Spacey, Jamie Foxx, Lily James
Three and a half stars
What can victims do?
Always use only regulated platforms
Stop all transactions and communication on suspicion
Save all evidence (screenshots, chat logs, transaction IDs)
Report to local authorities
Warn others to prevent further harm
Courtesy: Crystal Intelligence
How to apply for a drone permit
- Individuals must register on UAE Drone app or website using their UAE Pass
- Add all their personal details, including name, nationality, passport number, Emiratis ID, email and phone number
- Upload the training certificate from a centre accredited by the GCAA
- Submit their request
What are the regulations?
- Fly it within visual line of sight
- Never over populated areas
- Ensure maximum flying height of 400 feet (122 metres) above ground level is not crossed
- Users must avoid flying over restricted areas listed on the UAE Drone app
- Only fly the drone during the day, and never at night
- Should have a live feed of the drone flight
- Drones must weigh 5 kg or less
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Race 3
Produced: Salman Khan Films and Tips Films
Director: Remo D’Souza
Cast: Salman Khan, Anil Kapoor, Jacqueline Fernandez, Bobby Deol, Daisy Shah, Saqib Salem
Rating: 2.5 stars
LEADERBOARD
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Zidane's managerial achievements
La Liga: 2016/17
Spanish Super Cup: 2017
Uefa Champions League: 2015/16, 2016/17, 2017/18
Uefa Super Cup: 2016, 2017
Fifa Club World Cup: 2016, 2017
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'Doctor Strange in the Multiverse Of Madness'
Director: Sam Raimi
Cast: Benedict Cumberbatch, Elizabeth Olsen, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Benedict Wong, Xochitl Gomez, Michael Stuhlbarg and Rachel McAdams
Rating: 3/5
More on Quran memorisation:
One in nine do not have enough to eat
Created in 1961, the World Food Programme is pledged to fight hunger worldwide as well as providing emergency food assistance in a crisis.
One of the organisation’s goals is the Zero Hunger Pledge, adopted by the international community in 2015 as one of the 17 Sustainable Goals for Sustainable Development, to end world hunger by 2030.
The WFP, a branch of the United Nations, is funded by voluntary donations from governments, businesses and private donations.
Almost two thirds of its operations currently take place in conflict zones, where it is calculated that people are more than three times likely to suffer from malnutrition than in peaceful countries.
It is currently estimated that one in nine people globally do not have enough to eat.
On any one day, the WFP estimates that it has 5,000 lorries, 20 ships and 70 aircraft on the move.
Outside emergencies, the WFP provides school meals to up to 25 million children in 63 countries, while working with communities to improve nutrition. Where possible, it buys supplies from developing countries to cut down transport cost and boost local economies.
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
Biog
Mr Kandhari is legally authorised to conduct marriages in the gurdwara
He has officiated weddings of Sikhs and people of different faiths from Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Russia, the US and Canada
Father of two sons, grandfather of six
Plays golf once a week
Enjoys trying new holiday destinations with his wife and family
Walks for an hour every morning
Completed a Bachelor of Commerce degree in Loyola College, Chennai, India
2019 is a milestone because he completes 50 years in business
