In a daydream sequence, Christian Horner could be riding through Vienna or Milton Keynes on a parade float cheered by heavily caffeinated admirers gorging on slim cans of Red Bull, waving fake palm fronds uprooted from shopping malls and hollering plaudits about his mastery of aerodynamics.
Instead, he has spent this momentous week fielding questions about team orders when everyone knows any list of the world's most depressing subjects includes team orders.
Some planet. Red Bull Racing wins a ground-breaking constructors' championship in the incredible grind of Formula One, and the subject is deluged beneath a compelling title fracas among the drivers.
It comes as a testament to a few hard realities in life, including that glamour will always dart to the flesh-and-blood of drivers over the brain matter and labour of those who enable drivers, and that few human beings are entranced by matters of engineering.
A brief rundown for the uninitiated: last Sunday in Sao Paulo, Red Bull clinched the constructors' championship as the team with the most season-long points, and with one race to spare in only its sixth season in a plutocratic sport.
The world shrugged and wondered who might win the first drivers' championship ever to boast four mathematical contenders for a finale. Delicious possibilities swamped an impressive certainty.
Horner tried gamely to provide solace in a press conference yesterday evening at Yas Marina Circuit, referring to the team headquarters northwest of London and saying, "The delight and buzz to come out of Milton Keynes was just absolutely tremendous."
You know you are a drowned-out voice when you extol "delight and buzz" out of Milton Keynes. If delight and buzz out of Milton Keynes falls in a forest, does anybody hear it?
Seriously, however, while the drivers rate attention for their boldness and risk, constructors' championships merit appeal for the thankless and glitter-less toil of those less-compensated and less likely to spend any given moment plunging into a snit. As the almost-37-year-old Horner put it in an interview on the F1 website, a drivers' title "would be the second big thing. The first big thing was achieved in Brazil. That win is hugely significant within the team."
He explained: "It is how the different departments measure themselves against their competitors, whether it is aerodynamics, manufacturing, upgrade ability or pit stops."
Unfortunately, much of the human race dozed off right around the word "manufacturing", unless they had indulged in a Red Bull of the liquid sort.
Continuing, Horner said: "So the constructors' actually is the bigger championship. The drivers' title is the one that carries the prestige and the public remembers most."
As in the cases of actors trumping directors and scriptwriters for fame, we the public bestow fame unthinkingly.
For the record, the Red Bull championship is both Formula One-historic and beverage-historic. It marks the first constructors' championship for any beverage, let alone a highly caffeinated and mildly controversial one banned in France and once banned in Denmark and Norway.
It marks the first known instance of any Formula One financier - Austrian billionaire Dietrich Mateschitz - crafting his fortune from visiting Southeast Asia as a toothpaste marketer and deciding to market a version of a Thai drink that cured his jet lag and aided weary cab drivers.
It enables Horner to say truisms like, "Just over six years ago, Dietrich Mateschitz had a vision that perhaps a few people scoffed at, at the time"' thereby fulfilling the axiom of proving other people wrong, which is the entire purpose of professional sport. It comes only four years and some months after one David Coulthard took third place at the 2006 Monaco Grand Prix for Red Bull's first podium spot after apparently contagious mechanical problems ahead of him befell Kimi Raikkonen, Mark Webber and Jarno Trulli, and a drive-through penalty foiled Rubens Barrichello.
Both to promote a movie and to celebrate, Coulthard donned a Superman cape that day and said, "This is a great reward for everyone in the team when you consider the difficult start to the season we have had."
It seemed cute.
Well, much like the slim, silver cans pierced the soft-drink blue-bloods across three decades to become No 1, Red Bull has spent six seasons climbing through Ferraris and McLarens to No 1, so that by last night, the Ferrari principal Stefano Domenicali warmly said: "The advice I would give Christian" - for tomorrow - "is that he has already won a championship this year. He has already covered that with very short days behind him so he is bulletproof on that."
So it is an inspiring climb if only we can find space in our glamour-seeking hearts for the poor, disregarded constructors' cham- . . . Wait. Are you sleeping?
cculpepper@thenational.ae
The smuggler
Eldarir had arrived at JFK in January 2020 with three suitcases, containing goods he valued at $300, when he was directed to a search area.
Officers found 41 gold artefacts among the bags, including amulets from a funerary set which prepared the deceased for the afterlife.
Also found was a cartouche of a Ptolemaic king on a relief that was originally part of a royal building or temple.
The largest single group of items found in Eldarir’s cases were 400 shabtis, or figurines.
Khouli conviction
Khouli smuggled items into the US by making false declarations to customs about the country of origin and value of the items.
According to Immigration and Customs Enforcement, he provided “false provenances which stated that [two] Egyptian antiquities were part of a collection assembled by Khouli's father in Israel in the 1960s” when in fact “Khouli acquired the Egyptian antiquities from other dealers”.
He was sentenced to one year of probation, six months of home confinement and 200 hours of community service in 2012 after admitting buying and smuggling Egyptian antiquities, including coffins, funerary boats and limestone figures.
For sale
A number of other items said to come from the collection of Ezeldeen Taha Eldarir are currently or recently for sale.
Their provenance is described in near identical terms as the British Museum shabti: bought from Salahaddin Sirmali, "authenticated and appraised" by Hossen Rashed, then imported to the US in 1948.
- An Egyptian Mummy mask dating from 700BC-30BC, is on offer for £11,807 ($15,275) online by a seller in Mexico
- A coffin lid dating back to 664BC-332BC was offered for sale by a Colorado-based art dealer, with a starting price of $65,000
- A shabti that was on sale through a Chicago-based coin dealer, dating from 1567BC-1085BC, is up for $1,950
Is it worth it? We put cheesecake frap to the test.
The verdict from the nutritionists is damning. But does a cheesecake frappuccino taste good enough to merit the indulgence?
My advice is to only go there if you have unusually sweet tooth. I like my puddings, but this was a bit much even for me. The first hit is a winner, but it's downhill, slowly, from there. Each sip is a little less satisfying than the last, and maybe it was just all that sugar, but it isn't long before the rush is replaced by a creeping remorse. And half of the thing is still left.
The caramel version is far superior to the blueberry, too. If someone put a full caramel cheesecake through a liquidiser and scooped out the contents, it would probably taste something like this. Blueberry, on the other hand, has more of an artificial taste. It's like someone has tried to invent this drink in a lab, and while early results were promising, they're still in the testing phase. It isn't terrible, but something isn't quite right either.
So if you want an experience, go for a small, and opt for the caramel. But if you want a cheesecake, it's probably more satisfying, and not quite as unhealthy, to just order the real thing.
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
Specs
Engine: 51.5kW electric motor
Range: 400km
Power: 134bhp
Torque: 175Nm
Price: From Dh98,800
Available: Now
The Cockroach
(Vintage)
Ian McEwan
The biog
Favourite book: Men are from Mars Women are from Venus
Favourite travel destination: Ooty, a hill station in South India
Hobbies: Cooking. Biryani, pepper crab are her signature dishes
Favourite place in UAE: Marjan Island
The%20Specs%20
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ELamborghini%20LM002%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%205.2-litre%20V12%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20450hp%20at%206%2C800rpm%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E500Nm%20at%204%2C500rpm%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFive-speed%20manual%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E0-100kph%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%209%20seconds%20(approx)%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETop%20speed%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20210kph%20(approx)%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EYears%20built%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%201986-93%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETotal%20vehicles%20built%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20328%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EValue%20today%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%24300%2C000%2B%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
Test
Director: S Sashikanth
Cast: Nayanthara, Siddharth, Meera Jasmine, R Madhavan
Star rating: 2/5
Heavily-sugared soft drinks slip through the tax net
Some popular drinks with high levels of sugar and caffeine have slipped through the fizz drink tax loophole, as they are not carbonated or classed as an energy drink.
Arizona Iced Tea with lemon is one of those beverages, with one 240 millilitre serving offering up 23 grams of sugar - about six teaspoons.
A 680ml can of Arizona Iced Tea costs just Dh6.
Most sports drinks sold in supermarkets were found to contain, on average, five teaspoons of sugar in a 500ml bottle.
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
The White Lotus: Season three
Creator: Mike White
Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell
Rating: 4.5/5
Results
5pm: UAE Martyrs Cup (TB) Conditions Dh90,000 2,200m
Winner: Mudaarab, Jim Crowley (jockey), Erwan Charpy (trainer).
5.30pm: Wathba Stallions Cup (PA) Handicap Dh70,000 1,400m
Winner: Jawal Al Reef, Richard Mullen, Hassan Al Hammadi.
6pm: UAE Matyrs Trophy (PA) Maiden Dh80,000 1,600m
Winner: Salima Al Reef, Jesus Rosales, Abdallah Al Hammadi.
6.30pm: Sheikha Fatima bint Mubarak (IFAHR) Apprentice Championship (PA) Prestige Dh100,000 1,600m
Winner: Bainoona, Ricardo Iacopini, Eric Lemartinel.
7pm: Sheikha Fatima bint Mubarak (IFAHR) Ladies World Championship (PA) Prestige Dh125,000 1,600m
Winner: Assyad, Victoria Larsen, Eric Lemartinel.
8pm: Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan Jewel Crown (PA) Group 1 Dh5,000,000 1,600m
Winner: Mashhur Al Khalediah, Jean-Bernard Eyquem, Phillip Collington.