When men were boys, they fought. Usually, against their brother. Over a toy, the remote control, their mother's affection. It was natural behaviour, a manifestation of sibling rivalry.
How ironic that the two men judged as the supreme heavyweight boxers on the planet will not fight … because they are brothers.
Wladimir and Vitali Klitschko, by their refusal to square up against each other, are holding the sport's glamour division hostage. Other peerless pairs have ducked their rivals through the years, but egos or squabbles over dividing the purse were usually to blame.
These guys are concerned over trouble brewing at the next family reunion. Stand in their laced-up, size-15 shoes, and you probably would feel the same. Unless you want to unleash repressed latent hostility because mum always liked him best, you might struggle to work up the violent hatred for your adversary that most fighters need.
Reaching consensus on dividing the money would be painful enough. The deal would likely demand an even split - say, US$5 million (Dh18.37m) apiece - but getting both sides to sign on would be problematic.
They could throw in sole possession of the chess set that their parents confiscated when the games ended in fisticuffs. Aside from America, which has not had a heavyweight of note since Mike Tyson impressions were routine in a stand-up comedian's set, the boxing universe wants Klitschko versus Klitschko - even if their similar sizes (tall) and styles (dull and robotic) would not augur a bout suitable for ESPN Classic replays.
At least a bro-down would stir movement in the paralysed division and re-engage Americans. For now and the foreseeable future, Wladimir is the WBO and IBF champion while Vitali lords over the WBC. Wladimir, who polished off Samuel Peters a few weeks ago, already has been a champion as far as the eye can see into the past, with 10 straight title defences and no signs of decline.
An aside: that each ranking omits one Klitschko altogether speaks loudly about boxing's need for an iron-fisted commissioner. As for Americans, they want one of their own in contention. Failing that, they want someone with the showmanship of Muhammad Ali or the crazed brutality of Tyson. The Klitschkos do not measure up, or down.
Pop quiz: what do Chauncy Welliver, Chris Arreola, Derric Rossy, Johnathon Banks, Ray Austin and Tony Thompson have in common? 1. All are US heavyweight boxers; 2. They could all be half-brothers, in a free-for-all between the ropes, and their countrymen still would not tune in, preferring to watch Tyson's bit part in the comedy film The Hangover. If only the Klitschkos could take a cue from the Williams sisters.
So uninspired were Venus and Serena when they squared off early in their careers, it seemed as if a court order had compelled them to play. In time, they realised that the outcome would not trigger a family feud or drive the loser into a vow of silence. Since, they have competed enthusiastically, with Serena ahead 8-7 in the sibling series.
When Archie Manning's progeny, the NFL quarterbacks Peyton and Eli, have graced the same field, it has been obvious Peyton's sympathy for his brother steals away the thrill of victory. (Twice for the Indianapolis Colts, if you haven't been counting.) In time, Manning the elder might be able to enjoy it.
All we are asking from the Klitschkos is a one-and-done. There is hope if Vitali, four-and-a-half years older and long enough in the tooth at 39, retires, say, after his October 16 gig with Shannon Briggs to salvage his remaining molars. Then again, his body was spared four years worth of blows and pre-dawn training sessions while shelved with injuries. Which makes him, in boxing years, close to Wladimir, 34.
Face it, the Klitschkos are too much alike - twins, almost - to fight. Each holds a PhD in sports education. (Isn't even one of them feeling the tug of teaching PE?) Each favours high-speed recreation, though Wladimir prefers a snow surface (snowboarding, surfing) and Vitali a watery one (wake-boarding, jet skiing).
Listen, guys, a stagnant heavyweight division is causing boxing to lose ground to the mixed martial arts skill and savagery of the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC). Last year, 11 of the highest 15 buy rates for legalised combat on US pay-per-view television involved UFC bouts. Only three were for boxing while the other was a Wrestlemania programme.
The heavyweights drive the boxing bus, and you Klitschkos have run it into the ditch. Be brothers again, just one time. Can't one of you give the other a wedgie or swipe the allowance money?
Then, before your anger subsides, how about signing a contract, filming some promotion filled with old home movies, pretending to hate each other at press conferences, pulling on gloves and sharing a ring?
Sorry. Not a fighting chance that will happen.
sports@thenational.ae
Test
Director: S Sashikanth
Cast: Nayanthara, Siddharth, Meera Jasmine, R Madhavan
Star rating: 2/5
Story%20behind%20the%20UAE%20flag
%3Cp%3EThe%20UAE%20flag%20was%20first%20unveiled%20on%20December%202%2C%201971%2C%20the%20day%20the%20UAE%20was%20formed.%C2%A0%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EIt%20was%20designed%20by%20Abdullah%20Mohammed%20Al%20Maainah%2C%2019%2C%20an%20Emirati%20from%20Abu%20Dhabi.%C2%A0%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EMr%20Al%20Maainah%20said%20in%20an%20interview%20with%20%3Cem%3EThe%20National%3C%2Fem%3E%20in%202011%20he%20chose%20the%20colours%20for%20local%20reasons.%C2%A0%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EThe%20black%20represents%20the%20oil%20riches%20that%20transformed%20the%20UAE%2C%20green%20stands%20for%20fertility%20and%20the%20red%20and%20white%20colours%20were%20drawn%20from%20those%20found%20in%20existing%20emirate%20flags.%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
'Downton Abbey: A New Era'
Director: Simon Curtis
Cast: Hugh Bonneville, Elizabeth McGovern, Maggie Smith, Michelle Dockery, Laura Carmichael, Jim Carter and Phyllis Logan
Rating: 4/5
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
Results
2.15pm: Maiden (PA) Dh40,000 1,200m
Winner: Maqam, Fabrice Veron (jockey), Eric Lemartinel (trainer).
2.45pm: Maiden (PA) Dh40,000 1,200m
Winner: Mamia Al Reef, Szczepan Mazur, Ibrahim Al Hadhrami.
3.15pm: Handicap (PA) Dh40,000 2,000m
Winner: Jaahiz, Fabrice Veron, Eric Lemartinel.
3.45pm: Handicap (PA) Dh40,000 1,000m
Winner: Qanoon, Szczepan Mazur, Irfan Ellahi.
4.15pm: Sheikh Hamdan bin Rashid Cup Handicap (TB) Dh200,000 1,700m.
Winner: Philosopher, Tadhg O’Shea, Salem bin Ghadayer.
54.45pm: Handicap (PA) Dh40,000 1,700m
Winner: Jap Al Yassoob, Fernando Jara, Irfan Ellahi.
The specs
Engine: 1.5-litre 4-cyl turbo
Power: 194hp at 5,600rpm
Torque: 275Nm from 2,000-4,000rpm
Transmission: 6-speed auto
Price: from Dh155,000
On sale: now
