Just as Donald Trump can go no longer than five minutes without offending someone somewhere on this mortal coil, Marouane Fellaini cannot get through a game of football without the liberal use of his elbows instead of his feet being the subject of debate.
The Manchester United midfielder could find himself retrospectively punished by the English Football Association after swinging an elbow into the jaw of Robert Huth as they tussled for a ball on Sunday and then swinging an arm at the Leicester City defender.
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But, for once, Fellaini is the injured party, so to speak, even though it was the German centre-back who ended up in a crumpled heap on the Old Trafford pitch.
The sight of Fellaini standing over a supine opponent is nothing new. The 1.94-metre Belgian uses his physique and physicality to win more than his fair share of aerial duels, although more often than not this spills over into borderline violence.
Using your arms to shield an opponent or swinging them to get leverage jumping is standard physics: NBA players do not hang in the air before scoring a slam dunk with their arms by their side.
But Fellaini’s use of his elbows to fend off challengers he knows to be in proximity typically involves him swinging his arms towards their face. Same as when he jumps for the ball. He uses his arms as antenna to feel players out before manouvreing them in a way that can seem deliberate and sinister.
But, as I mentioned earlier, before going slightly off track, Fellaini is not to blame this time.
Huth, no angel when it comes to manhandling opponents, can clearly be seen on television replays grabbing a fistful of Fellaini’s considerable mane and yanking it downwards. Anyone with long hair will tell you how painful that can be.
United manager Louis van Gaal said in a post-match interview that kind of behaviour should be consigned to the bedroom, by people who enjoy the pain – "sexual masochism" – as he called it, one of the Dutchman's much better sound bites this season. Van Gaal even replicated Huth's hair tug on two dumbfounded reporters to prove his point. Steady, Louis.
Clearly Fellaini lashed out in retaliation, provoked by someone intending to cause him harm. Should he lash out? No, of course not. We are all told how we should keep our emotions in check in the face of provocation, but how many of us have been on the receiving end of something we felt unjust and resisted the urge to smack someone in the face. How many of us have failed to do that and waded in Roy Jones Jr 1988 Olympics boxing final style? That’s just human nature.
So Fellaini potentially faces a three-match ban for violent conduct, if the referee Michael Oliver does not mention the incident in his match report, ruling him out of United’s remaining three Premier League fixtures, against Norwich City, West Ham United and Bournemouth.
Given his chequered past and previous misdemeanours – Fellaini was banned for three matches after being sent off in the final game of last season for a vicious stamp on Hull City’s Paul McShane that required stitches – the former Everton player could also face an additional one-match ban, which would rule him out of this month’s FA Cup final.
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