Newcastle 2023/24 season review and player ratings: Isak 9, Guimaraes 8, Tonali 3


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Season synopsis

Premier League final position: Seventh

Champions League: Knocked out in group stage

FA Cup: Quarter-finals; beaten 1-0 away to Manchester City

League Cup: Quarter-finals; drew 1-1 after 90 minutes away to Chelsea, lost 4-2 on penalties

It was always going to be a tricky campaign for Eddie Howe's team after the high of a top-four finish the previous season which brought the added burden of midweek Champions League fixtures for the first time in 20 years.

What the manager could not have predicted, though, was a relentless injury list that regularly reached and crossed double figures or the 10-month ban handed to key summer signing Sandro Tonali for breaching betting rules while at former club AC Milan.

The absences would hit them particularly hard mid-season when they finished bottom of their 'Group of Death' in the Champions League – consisting of Paris Saint-Germain, AC Milan and future finalists Borussia Dortmund – which meant they missed out on the consolation of even dropping down to the Europa League.

That blow also coincided with a desperate Premier League run that saw the Magpies lose six times in seven games as well as being knocked out of the League Cup at Chelsea.

But the new year brought renewed hope as players began returning from injury. Newcastle won six of their final 10 games, losing just twice, which secured a respectable seventh place and potentially Europa Conference League football next season, as long as Manchester City beat Manchester United in the FA Cup final.

Best Performance of season

Newcastle 4 PSG 1: Highlights include the opening day 5-1 demolition of Aston Villa, thrashing Chelsea 4-1 and Spurs 4-0 all at home, while sticking eight past hapless Sheffield United at Bramall Lane – when there was eight different goalscorers – also stick in the memory.

But the breathless night on Tyneside back in October when Newcastle destroyed a PSG side containing the likes of Gianluigi Donnarumma, Ousmanne Dembele and Kylian Mbappe was arguably the club's greatest European performance of all time.

It was a win made all the sweeter by local boys Dan Burn and Sean Longstaff being among the scorers in what was the Magpies' first Champions League game on Tyneside in two decades. It was to prove their only victory of the group stage.

Worst Performance of season

Newcastle 1 Nottingham Forest 3: Quite a few contenders in what was a poor season defensively for Howe's men. The 3-0 loss to Everton was up there, when Kieran Trippier was guilty of two dreadful errors directly leading to goals. There was also two 4-1 defeats in North London against Tottenham and Arsenal when Newcastle were completely outplayed.

But in a campaign when Newcastle's home record finished as the fourth best in the Premier League, the December loss against a Forest side on a seven-game winless run was particularly galling.

Adding to the misery was the fact former Magpies striker Chris Wood bagged a hat-trick which made it five defeats in seven games across all competitions in what was their worst run of the campaign.

Thriller of season

Newcastle 4 West Ham United 3: The 4-4 draw with Luton Town in February was certainly the most ludicrous when Newcastle twice took first-half leads only for the Hatters to twice draw level before taking a 4-2 lead before the hour mark. Goals from Kieran Trippier and Harvey Barnes rescued a point for the home side.

But that game was eclipsed a few weeks later when Newcastle came back from 3-1 down to win 4-3 against West Ham at St James' Park thanks to an Alexander Isak penalty – his second of the match – and a double from substitute Barnes in the last 10 minutes that snatched all three points. Anthony Gordon's sending off in injury-time after receiving a second yellow for kicking the ball away only added to the drama.

Player of season

Alexander Isak: Narrowly edges out the also excellent Gordon, Isak's career-best goals haul of 25 – his previous high was 17 at Spanish side Real Sociedad – gave Newcastle a vital cutting edge up front with fellow striker Wilson injured for a chunk of the season.

Such has been his form, Isak is reported to be a summer transfer target for the likes of Arsenal and Liverpool, although manager Howe has made clear his determination to keep hold of the Swede.

Goal of season

Fabian Schar v PSG: A few crackers to choose from here. Miguel Almiron curling home a wonder finish against Burnley, Joe Willock's side-foot finish against Manchester United in the League Cup, Joelinton thumping into the top corner versus AC Milan and Bruno Guimaraes volleying home at the back post at Forest.

But Schar's strike against the French champions was the icing on the cake of that stunning night at St James' Park. The Swiss defender was falling over as he curled a stunning shot past Donnarumma from the edge of the box into the top corner to make it 4-1 (see best performance of season above for footage of goal).

Conflict, drought, famine

Estimates of the number of deaths caused by the famine range from 400,000 to 1 million, according to a document prepared for the UK House of Lords in 2024.
It has been claimed that the policies of the Ethiopian government, which took control after deposing Emperor Haile Selassie in a military-led revolution in 1974, contributed to the scale of the famine.
Dr Miriam Bradley, senior lecturer in humanitarian studies at the University of Manchester, has argued that, by the early 1980s, “several government policies combined to cause, rather than prevent, a famine which lasted from 1983 to 1985. Mengistu’s government imposed Stalinist-model agricultural policies involving forced collectivisation and villagisation [relocation of communities into planned villages].
The West became aware of the catastrophe through a series of BBC News reports by journalist Michael Buerk in October 1984 describing a “biblical famine” and containing graphic images of thousands of people, including children, facing starvation.

Band Aid

Bob Geldof, singer with the Irish rock group The Boomtown Rats, formed Band Aid in response to the horrific images shown in the news broadcasts.
With Midge Ure of the band Ultravox, he wrote the hit charity single Do They Know it’s Christmas in December 1984, featuring a string of high-profile musicians.
Following the single’s success, the idea to stage a rock concert evolved.
Live Aid was a series of simultaneous concerts that took place at Wembley Stadium in London, John F Kennedy Stadium in Philadelphia, the US, and at various other venues across the world.
The combined event was broadcast to an estimated worldwide audience of 1.5 billion.

The five pillars of Islam

 

 

Jetour T1 specs

Engine: 2-litre turbocharged

Power: 254hp

Torque: 390Nm

Price: From Dh126,000

Available: Now

The five pillars of Islam

1. Fasting

2. Prayer

3. Hajj

4. Shahada

5. Zakat 

Why seagrass matters
  • Carbon sink: Seagrass sequesters carbon up to 35X faster than tropical rainforests
  • Marine nursery: Crucial habitat for juvenile fish, crustations, and invertebrates
  • Biodiversity: Support species like sea turtles, dugongs, and seabirds
  • Coastal protection: Reduce erosion and improve water quality
Volvo ES90 Specs

Engine: Electric single motor (96kW), twin motor (106kW) and twin motor performance (106kW)

Power: 333hp, 449hp, 680hp

Torque: 480Nm, 670Nm, 870Nm

On sale: Later in 2025 or early 2026, depending on region

Price: Exact regional pricing TBA

COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Disposing of non-recycleable masks
    Use your ‘black bag’ bin at home Do not put them in a recycling bin Take them home with you if there is no litter bin
  • No need to bag the mask
Specs
Engine: Electric motor generating 54.2kWh (Cooper SE and Aceman SE), 64.6kW (Countryman All4 SE)
Power: 218hp (Cooper and Aceman), 313hp (Countryman)
Torque: 330Nm (Cooper and Aceman), 494Nm (Countryman)
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh158,000 (Cooper), Dh168,000 (Aceman), Dh190,000 (Countryman)
Ms Yang's top tips for parents new to the UAE
  1. Join parent networks
  2. Look beyond school fees
  3. Keep an open mind
Our legal consultants

Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.

Key facilities
  • Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
  • Premier League-standard football pitch
  • 400m Olympic running track
  • NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
  • 600-seat auditorium
  • Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
  • An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
  • Specialist robotics and science laboratories
  • AR and VR-enabled learning centres
  • Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
The specs
 
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
Cultural fiesta

What: The Al Burda Festival
When: November 14 (from 10am)
Where: Warehouse421,  Abu Dhabi
The Al Burda Festival is a celebration of Islamic art and culture, featuring talks, performances and exhibitions. Organised by the Ministry of Culture and Knowledge Development, this one-day event opens with a session on the future of Islamic art. With this in mind, it is followed by a number of workshops and “masterclass” sessions in everything from calligraphy and typography to geometry and the origins of Islamic design. There will also be discussions on subjects including ‘Who is the Audience for Islamic Art?’ and ‘New Markets for Islamic Design.’ A live performance from Kuwaiti guitarist Yousif Yaseen should be one of the highlights of the day. 

What the law says

Micro-retirement is not a recognised concept or employment status under Federal Decree Law No. 33 of 2021 on the Regulation of Labour Relations (as amended) (UAE Labour Law). As such, it reflects a voluntary work-life balance practice, rather than a recognised legal employment category, according to Dilini Loku, senior associate for law firm Gateley Middle East.

“Some companies may offer formal sabbatical policies or career break programmes; however, beyond such arrangements, there is no automatic right or statutory entitlement to extended breaks,” she explains.

“Any leave taken beyond statutory entitlements, such as annual leave, is typically regarded as unpaid leave in accordance with Article 33 of the UAE Labour Law. While employees may legally take unpaid leave, such requests are subject to the employer’s discretion and require approval.”

If an employee resigns to pursue micro-retirement, the employment contract is terminated, and the employer is under no legal obligation to rehire the employee in the future unless specific contractual agreements are in place (such as return-to-work arrangements), which are generally uncommon, Ms Loku adds.

War 2

Director: Ayan Mukerji

Stars: Hrithik Roshan, NTR, Kiara Advani, Ashutosh Rana

Rating: 2/5

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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
HWJN
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Profile

Company: Justmop.com

Date started: December 2015

Founders: Kerem Kuyucu and Cagatay Ozcan

Sector: Technology and home services

Based: Jumeirah Lake Towers, Dubai

Size: 55 employees and 100,000 cleaning requests a month

Funding:  The company’s investors include Collective Spark, Faith Capital Holding, Oak Capital, VentureFriends, and 500 Startups. 

Afro%20salons
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The specs

Engine: 2.0-litre 4cyl turbo

Power: 261hp at 5,500rpm

Torque: 405Nm at 1,750-3,500rpm

Transmission: 9-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 6.9L/100km

On sale: Now

Price: From Dh117,059

The Limehouse Golem
Director: Juan Carlos Medina
Cast: Olivia Cooke, Bill Nighy, Douglas Booth
Three stars

GAC GS8 Specs

Engine: 2.0-litre 4cyl turbo

Power: 248hp at 5,200rpm

Torque: 400Nm at 1,750-4,000rpm

Transmission: 8-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 9.1L/100km

On sale: Now

Price: From Dh149,900

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Red flags
  • Promises of high, fixed or 'guaranteed' returns.
  • Unregulated structured products or complex investments often used to bypass traditional safeguards.
  • Lack of clear information, vague language, no access to audited financials.
  • Overseas companies targeting investors in other jurisdictions - this can make legal recovery difficult.
  • Hard-selling tactics - creating urgency, offering 'exclusive' deals.

Courtesy: Carol Glynn, founder of Conscious Finance Coaching

WOMAN AND CHILD

Director: Saeed Roustaee

Starring: Parinaz Izadyar, Payman Maadi

Rating: 4/5

What sanctions would be reimposed?

Under ‘snapback’, measures imposed on Iran by the UN Security Council in six resolutions would be restored, including:

  • An arms embargo
  • A ban on uranium enrichment and reprocessing
  • A ban on launches and other activities with ballistic missiles capable of delivering nuclear weapons, as well as ballistic missile technology transfer and technical assistance
  • A targeted global asset freeze and travel ban on Iranian individuals and entities
  • Authorisation for countries to inspect Iran Air Cargo and Islamic Republic of Iran Shipping Lines cargoes for banned goods
Updated: May 21, 2024, 4:16 AM`