In football they say the table never lies. But in the case of the Premier League, that's simply not true.
Despite a roasting on Sunday that wouldn't have looked out of place on Comedy Central, Tottenham Hotspur are somehow still fifth in the table.
True, they are six points behind fourth-placed Manchester United occupying the last of the Champions League qualifying spots having played two games more. But then, it feels like Tottenham have played two games more than every team all season.
Spurs will barely have time to lick their wounds from the 6-1 shellacking at Newcastle United when they next travel to Old Trafford to face Manchester United. Their deluded ambitions of being top-four contenders was ruthlessly exposed on Sunday by a club who genuinely are and could be ripped to shreds by another on Thursday.
Newcastle were 3-0 up in nine minutes and 5-0 up on 21. Spurs midfielder Pape Sarr was hooked after 23 minutes while his captain Hugo Lloris suffered the same humiliation at half time. His 11 years at the club are now surely at an end. Harry Kane scored a fine individual goal but could barely muster a smile while Newcastle substitute Callum Wilson scored barely a minute after being on the pitch.
Pundits and Twitter had a field day. Sky Sports analyst and former Tottenham defender Danny Rose wondered how he was unemployed after assessing the first-half calamity while one witty Spurs fan enquired if Just Stop Oil activists were in the Newcastle area and if so could they pop along to St James' Park.
While now highly improbable, Spurs can still qualify for next season's Champions League via a top-four finish. But whereas Liverpool (seventh) and to a lesser extent Chelsea's (11th) positions in the league table feel false, so too does Tottenham's.
Cristian Stellini feels like a millstone left over from Antonio Conte's acrimonious departure and it may be better, with six games remaining, if Tottenham just decide on a clean break with a new man at the helm, possibly Ryan Mason or someone who can offer a fresh perspective.
One of the Conte's final parting shots was to question his players' professionalism, describing them as "selfish" for throwing away a two-goal lead against bottom club Southampton. As is Conte's way, he also took aim at the club's board, blaming them for Spurs' failure to win a trophy since 2008. But the team's failures are also Conte's, and, though unquestionably an excellent coach, the football played during his final days was as turgid as anything on display on Sunday.
Perhaps more worrying is that the Spurs ship now has too many leaks to stop it sinking completely. At the time of Conte's departure, Tottenham were fourth in the league, two points ahead of Newcastle who had two games in hand. They now trail the Magpies, in third, by six points having played a game more.
Newcastle v Tottenham ratings
Julian Nagelsmann is said to be first-choice but any new coach will want cast-iron assurances from the Tottenham board that Kane will not be sold. Beyond him, only Son Heung-min, Pierre-Emile Hjojberg and, if he can replicate his form for Argentina in Spurs colours, Cristian Romero offer a silver lining that the North London club can genuinely move forward next season.
A succession of wing backs have been tried and failed miserably, with Pedro Porro in particular struggling since his January move. The Spaniard's impressive performances for Sporting against Spurs in the Champions League prompted the English club to sign him. But he's looked more pea-shooter than hired gun, while age looks to have caught up with Ivan Perisic. Ryan Sessegnon does just not look cut out for the Premier League.
Fans vented their frustration at Davinson Sanchez during the 3-2 defeat at Bournemouth, booing the Colombia defender as he was subbed on and off in the same game. Those scenes are no good to anyone, least of all the player, but the animosity towards one individual was a indicative of the toxicity permeating the club but has been brewing all season.
The £60 million to buy Richarlison from Everton last summer could have been better spent, and while plenty of heads could roll this summer, Spurs also have the added headache of unwanted loan players returning. Tanguy Ndombele has been a passenger as Napoli cruise to the Serie A title while Villarreal have given few indications they will make Giovani Lo Celso's move permanent. Bryan Gil's move has not worked out and a return to Spain would suit both parties.
Spurs have six games left to salvage a season that promised so much but has delivered so little. At this rate, even qualifying for the Europa League is by no means guaranteed.
