Sport has taught me some valuable lessons over the years, not least that it was unlikely I was ever going to make it as a professional footballer and it might be advisable to have an alternative career plan.
I mean, I was not a bad Sunday league player, although at times my football was a little too similar to my politics - hanging around on the left wing not doing very much - but it was apparent early on that the necessary talent and dedication was conspicuously absent. And there is the first lesson of sport: disappointment goes with the territory, whether as a participant or supporter.
But it is a lesson in danger of being forgotten as clubs increasingly turn to legal and quasi- legal procedures to try to put right the wrongs they feel they have suffered on the pitch.
Bad decisions by referees, questionable tackles, even the odd case of corruption, have always been part of football, but in the past, aggrieved parties were content to grumble to the media, and fire off a few letters to ruling bodies in the vain hope matches might be replayed or decisions reversed.
What has changed recently is the involvement of armies of lawyers determined to explore every legal avenue, leading to appeal and counter-appeal, claims for compensation, and fat fees, of course, for m'learned friends.
Perhaps this was inevitable given the huge financial rewards for success in Premier League football, not to mention the compensation culture prevalent in wider society; but if the end result is the unseemly wrangle between Sheffield United and West Ham over the London team's survival in the Premier League at the end of the 2006-07 season, it is surely time for clubs to be reminded of what sport is all about.
It is the glorious uncertainty - and, yes, the occasional cruel injustice - that makes sport such a necessary adjunct to real life. We fans do not love the Premier League because it is the richest in the world; we love it because of the artistry of the players, the speed of the spectacle, the uncompromising defending.
Lose sight of that, and it will soon cease to be the wealthiest league in the world. We will go elsewhere for our escapism. If we want everything reduced to balance sheets and the bottom line we might as well spend the afternoon with our accountant.
Those who wish Sheffield United to buy back their Premier League status via an arbitration tribunal rather than winning it on the field are less football fans, more - to borrow words from politician Aneurin Bevan - desiccated calculating machines.
I can understand an individual player, whose career has been blighted by a bad tackle, seeking legal help to gain recompense for the fortune he will now not be able to earn. But Sheffield United, their lawyers, and their expert witnesses, are seeking to put a monetary value on the contribution one improperly registered player, Carlos Tevez, made to West Ham's survival.
An FA tribunal have decided that Tevez on his own was worth three points to West Ham, and suggest talks about compensation to their Yorkshire rivals start at the £30million (Dh195m) mark.
West Ham, already fined £5.5m by the Premier League, are reluctant to pay, and have been trying to persuade Sheffield United to the Court of Arbitration for Sport, set up in 1984 by the International Olympic Committee to settle Olympic disputes. The chances of Sheffield United agreeing to this are only slightly less than mine of being asked to star with Scarlet Johansson in her next movie.
Perhaps the most disturbing aspect of the whole affair is a report that some members of the Sheffield team who went down are now taking legal advice to see if they can sue West Ham for loss of earnings as a result of relegation. We all know football lost its innocence some time ago, but should that happen, it will be time to dig a big pit and consign its just twitching corpse to the beyond.
@Email:martin.kelner@yahoo.co.uk
The White Lotus: Season three
Creator: Mike White
Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell
Rating: 4.5/5
SOUTH%20KOREA%20SQUAD
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MATCH INFO
Rugby World Cup (all times UAE)
Final: England v South Africa, Saturday, 1pm
The specs
Engine: 2.7-litre 4-cylinder Turbomax
Power: 310hp
Torque: 583Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh192,500
On sale: Now
The%20specs
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The smuggler
Eldarir had arrived at JFK in January 2020 with three suitcases, containing goods he valued at $300, when he was directed to a search area.
Officers found 41 gold artefacts among the bags, including amulets from a funerary set which prepared the deceased for the afterlife.
Also found was a cartouche of a Ptolemaic king on a relief that was originally part of a royal building or temple.
The largest single group of items found in Eldarir’s cases were 400 shabtis, or figurines.
Khouli conviction
Khouli smuggled items into the US by making false declarations to customs about the country of origin and value of the items.
According to Immigration and Customs Enforcement, he provided “false provenances which stated that [two] Egyptian antiquities were part of a collection assembled by Khouli's father in Israel in the 1960s” when in fact “Khouli acquired the Egyptian antiquities from other dealers”.
He was sentenced to one year of probation, six months of home confinement and 200 hours of community service in 2012 after admitting buying and smuggling Egyptian antiquities, including coffins, funerary boats and limestone figures.
For sale
A number of other items said to come from the collection of Ezeldeen Taha Eldarir are currently or recently for sale.
Their provenance is described in near identical terms as the British Museum shabti: bought from Salahaddin Sirmali, "authenticated and appraised" by Hossen Rashed, then imported to the US in 1948.
- An Egyptian Mummy mask dating from 700BC-30BC, is on offer for £11,807 ($15,275) online by a seller in Mexico
- A coffin lid dating back to 664BC-332BC was offered for sale by a Colorado-based art dealer, with a starting price of $65,000
- A shabti that was on sale through a Chicago-based coin dealer, dating from 1567BC-1085BC, is up for $1,950
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
SQUADS
South Africa:
Faf du Plessis (capt), Hashim Amla, Temba Bavuma, Farhaan Behardien, Quinton de Kock (wkt), AB de Villiers, JP Duminy, Imran Tahir, David Miller, Wayne Parnell, Dane Paterson, Andile Phehlukwayo, Dwaine Pretorius, Kagiso Rabada
Coach: Ottis Gibson
Bangladesh:
Mashrafe Mortaza (capt), Imrul Kayes, Liton Das (wkt), Mahmudullah, Mehidy Hasan, Mohammad Saifuddin, Mominul Haque, Mushfiqur Rahim (wkt), Mustafizur Rahman, Nasir Hossain, Rubel Hossain, Sabbir Rahman, Shakib Al Hasan, Soumya Sarkar, Tamim Iqbal, Taskin Ahmed.
Coach: Chandika Hathurusingha
Test
Director: S Sashikanth
Cast: Nayanthara, Siddharth, Meera Jasmine, R Madhavan
Star rating: 2/5
Specs
Engine: 51.5kW electric motor
Range: 400km
Power: 134bhp
Torque: 175Nm
Price: From Dh98,800
Available: Now
THREE
%3Cp%3EDirector%3A%20Nayla%20Al%20Khaja%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EStarring%3A%20Jefferson%20Hall%2C%20Faten%20Ahmed%2C%20Noura%20Alabed%2C%20Saud%20Alzarooni%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3ERating%3A%203.5%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
MATCH INFO
Maratha Arabians 107-8 (10 ovs)
Lyth 21, Lynn 20, McClenaghan 20 no
Qalandars 60-4 (10 ovs)
Malan 32 no, McClenaghan 2-9
Maratha Arabians win by 47 runs
Rebel%20Moon%20%E2%80%93%20Part%20Two%3A%20The%20Scargiver%20review%20
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French Touch
Carla Bruni
(Verve)
RESULTS
5pm: Handicap (TB) Dh100,000, 2,400m
Winner: Recordman, Richard Mullen (jockey), Satish Seemar (trainer)
5.30pm: Wathba Stallions Cup Handicap (PA) Dh 70,000, 2,200m
Winner: AF Taraha, Tadhg O’Shea, Ernst Oertel
6pm: Abu Dhabi Fillies Classic Prestige (PA) Dh110,000, 1,400m
Winner: Dhafra, Fabrice Veron, Eric Lemartinel
6.30pm: Abu Dhabi Colts Classic Prestige (PA) Dh110,000, 1,400m
Winner: Maqam, Fabrice Veron, Eric Lemartinel
7pm: Handicap (PA) Dh85,000, 1,600m
Winner: AF Momtaz, Fernando Jara, Musabah Al Muhairi
7.30pm: Maiden (PA) Dh80,000, 1,600m
Winner: Optimizm, Patrick Cosgrave, Abdallah Al Hammadi
A%20QUIET%20PLACE
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UAE v Gibraltar
What: International friendly
When: 7pm kick off
Where: Rugby Park, Dubai Sports City
Admission: Free
Online: The match will be broadcast live on Dubai Exiles’ Facebook page
UAE squad: Lucas Waddington (Dubai Exiles), Gio Fourie (Exiles), Craig Nutt (Abu Dhabi Harlequins), Phil Brady (Harlequins), Daniel Perry (Dubai Hurricanes), Esekaia Dranibota (Harlequins), Matt Mills (Exiles), Jaen Botes (Exiles), Kristian Stinson (Exiles), Murray Reason (Abu Dhabi Saracens), Dave Knight (Hurricanes), Ross Samson (Jebel Ali Dragons), DuRandt Gerber (Exiles), Saki Naisau (Dragons), Andrew Powell (Hurricanes), Emosi Vacanau (Harlequins), Niko Volavola (Dragons), Matt Richards (Dragons), Luke Stevenson (Harlequins), Josh Ives (Dubai Sports City Eagles), Sean Stevens (Saracens), Thinus Steyn (Exiles)