Basil Fawlty summed it up best. "Don't mention the war," said John Cleese's comically bad hotelier in the English television series Fawlty Towers. "I mentioned it once but I got away with it." When the English meet the Germans, references to the war are rarely far away. Or not from its victors, anyway. As long ago as 1966, Helmut Schoen, the West Germany manager, rebuked an English journalist for unnecessarily invoking the Second World War in a preview of the World Cup final. The lesson has not been learned. A favourite ditty of England supporters is entitled: "Two World Wars and One World Cup." They were asked not to sing it during the 2006 tournament Germany hosted.
Gloating is rather misplaced and not just because, despite the numerous metaphors about fighting and battling football generates, it is not war. Restrict the criteria to football and Germany have rather more cause for satisfaction. They have progressed further than the English in each of the 10 World Cups since 1966, eliminating them three times. They have also knocked their rivals out of two European Championships, going on to win both.
English victories, in contrast, have been of the pyrrhic variety. Germany were overcome in Charleroi in Euro 2000, but neither side progressed beyond the group stage. Fifteen months later, England's 5-1 win in Munich appeared to be a thorough humiliation of their old rivals. Germany not only recovered to reach the subsequent World Cup: they went to the final. In the process, they illustrated perhaps the biggest difference between the two national teams: the Germans have a capacity to overachieve, the English a habit of underachieving. Fabio Capello has a group of players who were tagged "the golden generation" years ago; none have been further than the quarter-final of an international tournament. The post-millennium German side, however, may have been their least gifted for half a century. But in a supposedly fallow period, they have finished second in one World Cup (2002) and third in another (2006) as well as being runners-up in Euro 2008.
There is a reason for their prowess, once described brilliantly by Gary Lineker. "Football is a simple game. You play for 120 minutes and then the Germans win on penalties," said the former England captain. There is no greater illustration of the mental strength that propels successive German teams further than they perhaps ought to go. Only two men - Uli Hoeness and Uli Stielike - have missed in the shootouts from 12 yards and Germany have a 100 per cent record in the last 28 years; over the same period, Chris Waddle, Stuart Pearce, Gareth Southgate, Paul Ince, David Batty, David Beckham, Darius Vassell, Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher have failed for England, the first three against the Germans.
The footballing cultures differ, on and off the pitch. The German Bundesliga draws the highest attendances in Europe, aided by, to English eyes, ludicrously cheap ticket prices. Theirs is a more equitable approach, compared to the indebted, irrepressible Premier League. Until Bayern Munich's exploits this year, Germany went nine years without providing a Champions League finalist. But with England's clubs impoverished, there is much they could learn from the Germans.
Six years ago, the Anglophile Juergen Klinsmann looked to England to regenerate German football. Franz Beckenbauer once declared: "Germans can't play 4-4-2." Klinsmann not only used that formation in the last World Cup, he did it well, with a greater emphasis on attack than the stereotype of relentless, remorseless Germans would suggest. Six years on, they are a team transformed. This is their youngest side in the World Cup since 1934, England their oldest ever. The future of German future looks rather brighter, the past distinctly more glorious. They have not failed to reach the last eight of a World Cup since returning to international competition in 1954. If that remarkable run is to end, it will be at the hands of the country the newspaper Bild called "our favourite enemy": England. Not that everyone is convinced. "For us, the rivalry is only so-so," said Michael Ballack, who said the Germans would rather beat the Dutch. But then there is something the English and Germans do have in common: few play more grudge matches. @Email:sports@thenational.ae
England 4 West Germany 2 Wembley, July 30, 1966 The greatest day in England's footballing history as they were crowned world champions on home turf. But they were pushed all the way by the Germans, who had forced extra time after Wolfgang Weber's last gasp effort had made it 2-2. But two goals from Geoff Hurst, which completed his hat-trick, saw them home. West Germany 3 England 2 Leon, June 14, 1970 England looked to be on their way to the World Cup semi-finals in Mexico as they comfortably led 2-0. But the Germans rallied and goals from Franz Beckenbauer and Uwe Seeler levelled things, before Gerd Muller won the game and ended England's reign as world champions in extra time. West Germany 1 England 1 (West Germany won 4-3 on penalties) Turin, July 4, 1990 The Germans took the lead in the World Cup semi-final clash in Italy through Andreas Brehme's deflected free-kick. But England levelled through Gary Lineker. The sides could not be separated and it was the Germans who prevailed as Stuart Pearce and Chris Waddle failed to score in the penalty shootout. England 1 Germany 1 (Germany won 6-5 on penalties) Wembley, June 26, 1996 Alan Shearer gave England the lead in the Euro 96 semi-final at Wembley, but Stefan Kuntz equalised. The tie went to penalties with the Germans again triumphing as Gareth Southgate's effort was saved. Germany 1 England 5 Munich, September 1, 2001 England's first win in Germany for 36 years came in spectacular fashion in this World Cup qualifying match. Carsten Jancker gave the Germans the lead, but a Michael Owen hat-trick and goals from Steven Gerrard and Emile Heskey gave England a huge win.