This week's live televised sacking of Gus Poyet reportedly marked a shocking new low for English football.
Really? To me, the only shock is that it took so long to happen.
Football's cavalier attitude toward job security is now so deeply woven into the dramatic fabric of the game that discussions over the dreaded "sack race" are given equal weight as to which team might actually win the league.
To many fans, the human circus surrounding football - hiring, firing, bust-ups and buy-outs - is apparently more interesting than what happens on the pitch.
So when the Championship club Brighton & Hove Albion sacked Poyet as manager via an online statement at the exact time he happened to be doing some Confederations Cup punditry for the BBC, what were the show's producers to do?
Ignore the breaking news and keep Poyet talking about Nigeria's defensive frailties? Who wants to talk about actual football when the telly fairies have dropped a freshly sacked manager into your lap?
On this occasion, the timing was coincidental. But it cannot be long before the terrific entertainment of a man losing his livelihood is worked into an official TV format.
Take Me Out Of The Managerial Merry-Go-Round
Under-threat managers (any who have lost a game in the past 48 hours) are contractually required to ride on what appears to be a traditional fairground carousel.
However, these horses are fitted with ejector seats, controlled remotely by each manager's respective board, which is locked in a secret booth alongside a vociferous panel of ill-informed fans, bitter ex-players, and pot-stirring talk-radio hosts.
If the board decides a manager should be sacked, the ejector seat button is activated and the hapless coach catapulted into a gunge-filled moat.
Who will remain seated upon their wooden steeds when the music stops? Remember, folks, no points … NO PONY!
Soccer AM-CV
A freshly sacked manager spends Saturday morning updating his curriculum vitae in the company of an over-excited studio audience, two irritating presenters and a series of tiresome in-jokes.
Match of the Resume
Highlights of some of the day's best job interviews, as a dozen unemployed managers battle to convince a new board to take them on.
Match of the Resume - You're Still Fired
Broadcast immediately after Match of the Resume, this light-hearted companion show will feature the day's most hilariously inept interview candidate as guest of honour, to be gently probed and teased by the studio audience and a panel of celebrity football fans.
Fantasy Football
Each week a different studio guest is asked to pretend he is a football manager and to compile his ideal team, under certain budgetary limits. The twist is that, until yesterday, he WAS a football manager.
Jimmy Hill's Sunday Supplementary Income.
Each week a newly sacked manager goes through the Sunday newspapers with Jimmy Hill, picking out stories of interest. Eventually, the newsagent tells the ex-manager he had better hurry up and deliver them before he changes his mind about hiring him.
Dole's on Sunday
Fly-on-wall format in which a sacked manager ekes out a life on unemployment benefits which, for no good reason besides the title sounding like television programme Goals on Sunday, must be given to him on a Sunday.
sports@thenational.ae
At a glance
Global events: Much of the UK’s economic woes were blamed on “increased global uncertainty”, which can be interpreted as the economic impact of the Ukraine war and the uncertainty over Donald Trump’s tariffs.
Growth forecasts: Cut for 2025 from 2 per cent to 1 per cent. The OBR watchdog also estimated inflation will average 3.2 per cent this year
Welfare: Universal credit health element cut by 50 per cent and frozen for new claimants, building on cuts to the disability and incapacity bill set out earlier this month
Spending cuts: Overall day-to day-spending across government cut by £6.1bn in 2029-30
Tax evasion: Steps to crack down on tax evasion to raise “£6.5bn per year” for the public purse
Defence: New high-tech weaponry, upgrading HM Naval Base in Portsmouth
Housing: Housebuilding to reach its highest in 40 years, with planning reforms helping generate an extra £3.4bn for public finances
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Eyasses squad
Charlie Preston (captain) – goal shooter/ goalkeeper (Dubai College)
Arushi Holt (vice-captain) – wing defence / centre (Jumeriah English Speaking School)
Olivia Petricola (vice-captain) – centre / wing attack (Dubai English Speaking College)
Isabel Affley – goalkeeper / goal defence (Dubai English Speaking College)
Jemma Eley – goal attack / wing attack (Dubai College)
Alana Farrell-Morton – centre / wing / defence / wing attack (Nord Anglia International School)
Molly Fuller – goal attack / wing attack (Dubai College)
Caitlin Gowdy – goal defence / wing defence (Dubai English Speaking College)
Noorulain Hussain – goal defence / wing defence (Dubai College)
Zahra Hussain-Gillani – goal defence / goalkeeper (British School Al Khubairat)
Claire Janssen – goal shooter / goal attack (Jumeriah English Speaking School)
Eliza Petricola – wing attack / centre (Dubai English Speaking College)
COMPANY%20PROFILE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Revibe%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%202022%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Hamza%20Iraqui%20and%20Abdessamad%20Ben%20Zakour%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20UAE%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EIndustry%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Refurbished%20electronics%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunds%20raised%20so%20far%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%2410m%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFlat6Labs%2C%20Resonance%20and%20various%20others%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The White Lotus: Season three
Creator: Mike White
Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell
Rating: 4.5/5
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
Test
Director: S Sashikanth
Cast: Nayanthara, Siddharth, Meera Jasmine, R Madhavan
Star rating: 2/5
Stan%20Lee
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20David%20Gelb%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%203%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe
Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010
Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille
Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm
Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year
Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”
Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners
TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League semi-finals, second leg:
Liverpool (0) v Barcelona (3), Tuesday, 11pm UAE
Game is on BeIN Sports
Pakistanis%20at%20the%20ILT20%20
%3Cp%3EThe%20new%20UAE%20league%20has%20been%20boosted%20this%20season%20by%20the%20arrival%20of%20five%20Pakistanis%2C%20who%20were%20not%20released%20to%20play%20last%20year.%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%0D%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EShaheen%20Afridi%20(Desert%20Vipers)%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3ESet%20for%20at%20least%20four%20matches%2C%20having%20arrived%20from%20New%20Zealand%20where%20he%20captained%20Pakistan%20in%20a%20series%20loss.%20%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EShadab%20Khan%20(Desert%20Vipers)%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E%0DThe%20leg-spin%20bowling%20allrounder%20missed%20the%20tour%20of%20New%20Zealand%20after%20injuring%20an%20ankle%20when%20stepping%20on%20a%20ball.%20%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EAzam%20Khan%20(Desert%20Vipers)%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EPowerhouse%20wicketkeeper%20played%20three%20games%20for%20Pakistan%20on%20tour%20in%20New%20Zealand.%20He%20was%20the%20first%20Pakistani%20recruited%20to%20the%20ILT20.%20%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EMohammed%20Amir%20(Desert%20Vipers)%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EHas%20made%20himself%20unavailable%20for%20national%20duty%2C%20meaning%20he%20will%20be%20available%20for%20the%20entire%20ILT20%20campaign.%20%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EImad%20Wasim%20(Abu%20Dhabi%20Knight%20Riders)%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EThe%20left-handed%20allrounder%2C%2035%2C%20retired%20from%20international%20cricket%20in%20November%20and%20was%20subsequently%20recruited%20by%20the%20Knight%20Riders.%26nbsp%3B%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
WHAT IS GRAPHENE?
It was discovered in 2004, when Russian-born Manchester scientists Andrei Geim and Kostya Novoselov were experimenting with sticky tape and graphite, the material used as lead in pencils.
Placing the tape on the graphite and peeling it, they managed to rip off thin flakes of carbon. In the beginning they got flakes consisting of many layers of graphene. But when they repeated the process many times, the flakes got thinner.
By separating the graphite fragments repeatedly, they managed to create flakes that were just one atom thick. Their experiment led to graphene being isolated for the very first time.
In 2010, Geim and Novoselov were awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics.
Company Profile
Name: Thndr
Started: 2019
Co-founders: Ahmad Hammouda and Seif Amr
Sector: FinTech
Headquarters: Egypt
UAE base: Hub71, Abu Dhabi
Current number of staff: More than 150
Funds raised: $22 million
