Right-thinking sports lovers in Australia have been eagerly awaiting this coming Saturday.
Some would have spent Friday – a public holiday in the game’s honour in Melbourne – quietly contemplating the significance of the day and the deep-felt impact it will have on their lives.
Others might have used it for ironing, or shopping, ensuring all chores were out of the way for that “One Day in September” – the Australian Football League Grand Final.
This year, it’s the old foes who hailed from the northern suburbs, Fitzroy and Collingwood, at least as far as the Royboys' supporters in Melbourne are concerned.
One will celebrate until the start of the new year, while the other will collapse to the hallowed turf of the Melbourne Cricket Ground, sobbing uncontrollably to the repeated theme song of their rivals, and the bestial howls of the swilling hordes who sport their colours.
Fitzroy and its neighbours, the fiercely tribal Collingwood, were working-class, inner-city suburbs before the scourge of gentrification.
Although they shared a border, they were never close.
They became even more distant at the end of 1996, when a club merger resulted in eight Fitzroy players, with nary two coppers banging together in their pockets, moving to Brisbane, the capital of the northern state of Queensland.
The move was extremely unpopular, but was much to the delight of the Brisbane Bears’ players, as it meant they could replace the woeful logo of a fierce koala with the Royboys’ more noble lion.
(Any toddler in Australia could tell you that a koala is not a bear but a marsupial, and that their dopey demeanour from sitting all night munching on low-nutrient eucalyptus leaves can be pushed, at worst, to a little bit grumpy).
Regardless, on Saturday the proud Brisbane-Fitzroy Lions take to the field against the Collingwood Magpies at 8.30am UAE time.
This will mean little to lovers of other sports, particularly football. They fail to understand the excitement of watching 36 warriors at any time do battle on a field the size of a cattle station; why the ball is oval; and why the rules allow players to pick it up, as nature intended, with the hands we were so blessed to be given.
Most of all, they say they the rules are impossible to understand. Here, we will try to remedy that situation.
The Big Sticks
There are four posts at either end of the ground; two tall ones flanked by two smaller. The object of the game is to kick the ball, without it being touched by players of either team, between the two large posts. This results in a goal, which is equal to six points, or “behinds”.
If the ball touches the big pole, it is a behind. If it is kicked between a big and a small post, it is a behind. If it hits a small post, it is “out of bounds”. If it is kicked into the small post – or over the line anywhere on the outside of the field – without bouncing, it is “out on the full”, and the opposition receive a free kick.
If the ball is kicked or pushed between any of the posts by an opposition player, it is a “rushed” behind. If it is touched by a forward below the knee, it is a goal.
After a behind is kicked, one of the defenders, or backmen, kicks it back into play from the goal square. He does this unhindered.
After a goal, the ball is taken back to the centre square, where it is “balled up” by the umpire, and contested by infeasibly tall gentlemen called “rucks”, who try to thump it to the advantage of the smaller players at their feet.
The field of play
Eighteen players from each team take to the field at any given time. They are backed by an interchange bench of four men and a sub.
The four are generally rotated through the game. Each team has a maximum of 75 player interchanges in a match. Do try to keep count of them. It’s terribly important.
The sub comes on to replace a player who is not having a good day, is bleeding or is impaired in some other way during one of the less civilised passages of play. If he is subbed off, he cannot return.
The lines of position are full forward, half-forward, centre, half-back and full back. When the ball is bounced in the centre circle to start the game or after a goal, the six forwards must be inside the arc around their goals, the six backs in theirs, while four of the centremen from each team are allowed inside the centre square.
The wingmen, of which each team has two, are outside the square.
When the ball is bounced, all hell is allowed – and generally encouraged – to break loose.
The umpires
Umpires slam the ball into the ground to start play. They are trained to, but they aren’t always terribly suited to the purpose.
When the ball bounces awry due to its shape, sailing over the line of the centre circle, instead of making them do it again until they get it right, they are told to toss the ball up. Umpires must never be ridiculed.
There are now four of the dickens on the field, four more patrolling the boundaries, and two between the goals. Contrary to what you hear from most spectators, they largely come from good homes.
And they no longer have OPSM, the budget spectacles retailer, as their shirt sponsor, as once they did. Umpires must never be ridiculed.
Whenever a free kick or a mark – where a player catches the ball from either team before it hits the ground or is touched by another player – the umpire blows his or her whistle and shows the marker’s opponent where to stand, which is the spot where the mark was taken or the offence committed.
This is also called “the mark”. The opponent standing there is called “the man on the mark”. There he waves his arms in the hope of blocking the kick.
The umpires clearly warn the man on the mark to “Staaand” still. (Rumours that they would be instructed to add “Fingers on lips” have since been discredited. Umpires must never be … well, you get the point).
If a player fails to heed the order, or another player runs close to the man taking the free kick, the kicker will be moved 50 metres closer to his goals.
The penalty can also be inflicted if the ball is not quickly delivered to the kicker, or if a player ridicules the umpire.
Offences and indiscretions
Here’s where things can admittedly get a little muddy.
Apart from earlier mentioned offences, players can be awarded free kicks if their opponent:
• Runs more than 15 metres without bouncing the ball or touching it to the turf
• Incorrectly disposes of the ball when tackled. The ball must be kicked or handballed with a clenched fist while still sitting on the other hand
• Tackles the player beneath the knee or over the shoulders
• Slings the player to the ground in a tackle
• Tackles the player when they don’t have clean possession of the ball
• Pushes the player in the back
• Kicks the ball out of play intentionally, which is unfortunately up to the discretion of the umpire
• Interferes with the player’s arms when he is going for a mark, or
• Commits various forms of barbarism under the quaint category of “unduly rough play”
The umpire, of course, must see the offence before it can be called such.
To conclude
Hopefully by now you’re ready to observe with at least some knowledge the game in its purest form.
And while our cousins with the fragile shins and unemployed hands call their sport the “beautiful game”, and our stouter brethren describe their code as “the game played in heaven”, hopefully at 8.30 on Saturday morning you could consider watching “the game where umpires are respected, and the game we finally get”.
The specs
- Engine: 3.9-litre twin-turbo V8
- Power: 640hp
- Torque: 760nm
- On sale: 2026
- Price: Not announced yet
How to join and use Abu Dhabi’s public libraries
• There are six libraries in Abu Dhabi emirate run by the Department of Culture and Tourism, including one in Al Ain and Al Dhafra.
• Libraries are free to visit and visitors can consult books, use online resources and study there. Most are open from 8am to 8pm on weekdays, closed on Fridays and have variable hours on Saturdays, except for Qasr Al Watan which is open from 10am to 8pm every day.
• In order to borrow books, visitors must join the service by providing a passport photograph, Emirates ID and a refundable deposit of Dh400. Members can borrow five books for three weeks, all of which are renewable up to two times online.
• If users do not wish to pay the fee, they can still use the library’s electronic resources for free by simply registering on the website. Once registered, a username and password is provided, allowing remote access.
• For more information visit the library network's website.
Read more about the coronavirus
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Zayed Sustainability Prize
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
Benefits of first-time home buyers' scheme
- Priority access to new homes from participating developers
- Discounts on sales price of off-plan units
- Flexible payment plans from developers
- Mortgages with better interest rates, faster approval times and reduced fees
- DLD registration fee can be paid through banks or credit cards at zero interest rates
GAC GS8 Specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4cyl turbo
Power: 248hp at 5,200rpm
Torque: 400Nm at 1,750-4,000rpm
Transmission: 8-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 9.1L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh149,900
The specs
AT4 Ultimate, as tested
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Power: 420hp
Torque: 623Nm
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)
On sale: Now
The specs: 2017 Ford F-150 Raptor
Price, base / as tested Dh220,000 / Dh320,000
Engine 3.5L V6
Transmission 10-speed automatic
Power 421hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque 678Nm @ 3,750rpm
Fuel economy, combined 14.1L / 100km
Labour dispute
The insured employee may still file an ILOE claim even if a labour dispute is ongoing post termination, but the insurer may suspend or reject payment, until the courts resolve the dispute, especially if the reason for termination is contested. The outcome of the labour court proceedings can directly affect eligibility.
- Abdullah Ishnaneh, Partner, BSA Law
Paatal Lok season two
Directors: Avinash Arun, Prosit Roy
Stars: Jaideep Ahlawat, Ishwak Singh, Lc Sekhose, Merenla Imsong
Rating: 4.5/5
The specs
Engine: 0.8-litre four cylinder
Power: 70bhp
Torque: 66Nm
Transmission: four-speed manual
Price: $1,075 new in 1967, now valued at $40,000
On sale: Models from 1966 to 1970
Dust and sand storms compared
Sand storm
- Particle size: Larger, heavier sand grains
- Visibility: Often dramatic with thick "walls" of sand
- Duration: Short-lived, typically localised
- Travel distance: Limited
- Source: Open desert areas with strong winds
Dust storm
- Particle size: Much finer, lightweight particles
- Visibility: Hazy skies but less intense
- Duration: Can linger for days
- Travel distance: Long-range, up to thousands of kilometres
- Source: Can be carried from distant regions
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
New schools in Dubai
The specs: 2018 Opel Mokka X
Price, as tested: Dh84,000
Engine: 1.4L, four-cylinder turbo
Transmission: Six-speed auto
Power: 142hp at 4,900rpm
Torque: 200Nm at 1,850rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L / 100km
Kalra's feat
- Becomes fifth batsman to score century in U19 final
- Becomes second Indian to score century in U19 final after Unmukt Chand in 2012
- Scored 122 in youth Test on tour of England
- Bought by Delhi Daredevils for base price of two million Indian rupees (Dh115,000) in 2018 IPL auction
ACC%20T20%20Women%E2%80%99s%20Championship
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Company%20profile
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The specs: McLaren 600LT
Price, base: Dh914,000
Engine: 3.8-litre twin-turbo V8
Transmission: Seven-speed automatic
Power: 600hp @ 7,500rpm
Torque: 620Nm @ 5,500rpm
Fuel economy 12.2.L / 100km
Jetour T1 specs
Engine: 2-litre turbocharged
Power: 254hp
Torque: 390Nm
Price: From Dh126,000
Available: Now
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The Africa Institute 101
Housed on the same site as the original Africa Hall, which first hosted an Arab-African Symposium in 1976, the newly renovated building will be home to a think tank and postgraduate studies hub (it will offer master’s and PhD programmes). The centre will focus on both the historical and contemporary links between Africa and the Gulf, and will serve as a meeting place for conferences, symposia, lectures, film screenings, plays, musical performances and more. In fact, today it is hosting a symposium – 5-plus-1: Rethinking Abstraction that will look at the six decades of Frank Bowling’s career, as well as those of his contemporaries that invested social, cultural and personal meaning into abstraction.
ABU DHABI ORDER OF PLAY
Starting at 10am:
Daria Kasatkina v Qiang Wang
Veronika Kudermetova v Annet Kontaveit (10)
Maria Sakkari (9) v Anastasia Potapova
Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova v Ons Jabeur (15)
Donna Vekic (16) v Bernarda Pera
Ekaterina Alexandrova v Zarina Diyas
Start times
5.55am: Wheelchair Marathon Elites
6am: Marathon Elites
7am: Marathon Masses
9am: 10Km Road Race
11am: 4Km Fun Run
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MOUNTAINHEAD REVIEW
Starring: Ramy Youssef, Steve Carell, Jason Schwartzman
Director: Jesse Armstrong
Rating: 3.5/5
The specs
Engine: Long-range single or dual motor with 200kW or 400kW battery
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Max touring range: 620km / 590km
Price: From Dh250,000 (estimated)
Pharaoh's curse
British aristocrat Lord Carnarvon, who funded the expedition to find the Tutankhamun tomb, died in a Cairo hotel four months after the crypt was opened.
He had been in poor health for many years after a car crash, and a mosquito bite made worse by a shaving cut led to blood poisoning and pneumonia.
Reports at the time said Lord Carnarvon suffered from “pain as the inflammation affected the nasal passages and eyes”.
Decades later, scientists contended he had died of aspergillosis after inhaling spores of the fungus aspergillus in the tomb, which can lie dormant for months. The fact several others who entered were also found dead withiin a short time led to the myth of the curse.
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UAE v IRELAND
All matches start at 10am, and will be played in Abu Dhabi
1st ODI, Friday, January 8
2nd ODI, Sunday, January 10
3rd ODI, Tuesday, January 12
4th ODI, Thursday, January 14
Tearful appearance
Chancellor Rachel Reeves set markets on edge as she appeared visibly distraught in parliament on Wednesday.
Legislative setbacks for the government have blown a new hole in the budgetary calculations at a time when the deficit is stubbornly large and the economy is struggling to grow.
She appeared with Keir Starmer on Thursday and the pair embraced, but he had failed to give her his backing as she cried a day earlier.
A spokesman said her upset demeanour was due to a personal matter.
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ESSENTIALS
The flights
Emirates flies from Dubai to Phnom Penh via Yangon from Dh2,700 return including taxes. Cambodia Bayon Airlines and Cambodia Angkor Air offer return flights from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap from Dh250 return including taxes. The flight takes about 45 minutes.
The hotels
Rooms at the Raffles Le Royal in Phnom Penh cost from $225 (Dh826) per night including taxes. Rooms at the Grand Hotel d'Angkor cost from $261 (Dh960) per night including taxes.
The tours
A cyclo architecture tour of Phnom Penh costs from $20 (Dh75) per person for about three hours, with Khmer Architecture Tours. Tailor-made tours of all of Cambodia, or sites like Angkor alone, can be arranged by About Asia Travel. Emirates Holidays also offers packages.
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THE SPECS
Engine: 2.0-litre four-cylinder turbo
Transmission: eight-speed automatic
Power: 258hp at 5,000-6,500rpm
Torque: 400Nm from 1,550-4,400rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 6.4L/100km
Price, base: from D215,000 (Dh230,000 as tested)
On sale: now
SPECS
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La Mer lowdown
La Mer beach is open from 10am until midnight, daily, and is located in Jumeirah 1, well after Kite Beach. Some restaurants, like Cupagahwa, are open from 8am for breakfast; most others start at noon. At the time of writing, we noticed that signs for Vicolo, an Italian eatery, and Kaftan, a Turkish restaurant, indicated that these two restaurants will be open soon, most likely this month. Parking is available, as well as a Dh100 all-day valet option or a Dh50 valet service if you’re just stopping by for a few hours.
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
COMPANY PROFILE
Initial investment: Undisclosed
Investment stage: Series A
Investors: Core42
Current number of staff: 47
