A man and a woman are sitting together at a cafe in a mall in Dubai. They are chatting and laughing, and at one point, the man (let’s call him Mr X) leans in for a second, laughs and then moves back. This was enough for a married couple sitting near by to start speculating about what was going on.
The couple took photos with their smartphones, and the wife sent these photos to Mr X’s wife. Needless to say these images caused big problems for Mr X, who insisted he was just sitting with a colleague.
Now there is talk of a divorce, and interestingly enough, instead of friends trying to calm both sides down, I see them adding more fuel to the fire.
“Well, I always see him flirting with women,” one friend was overheard saying. Another would add: “Yeah, they always argue.” The perception was that he was “a player” and she was “too meek”.
Casting doubts, making assumptions and spreading gossip truly hurt people and can have devastating effects.
Some studies have shown that gossip can increase self-esteem, because somehow the misfortune of others makes you feel better about yourself. Also, a recent study in the UK showed that men actually gossip more than women.
In this particular divorce story, this has been the case. The male friends of Mr X have been more venomous in their discussion.
We all know this type of chat just generates more negativity and is bad karma, and yet sometimes we fall headlong into the whirlpool of gossip.The truth of the matter is, no one really knows what happens between people behind closed doors. So just let others be.
“Judge a person by the reputation of their enemies,” says an Arabic proverb. Perhaps, in some cases, we can look at the reputation and reactions of some “close” friends.
People fall in love, they fall out of love, they marry, they divorce, they have children, they don’t have children, they are single, they are “seeing” someone and they are no longer with that person. All these “statuses” seem to be of great interest to other people. At a dinner party I went to recently, which was very similar to a scene from the first Bridget Jones movie, the couples kept badgering one of the single woman in the group: “Why aren’t you married yet?” they said, “You know it will be difficult for you to have children if you wait any longer” and “You have to stop being so picky”.
These are all assumptions and fairly useless points as I am sure the person concerned knows she has a biological clock, that she doesn’t need to be reminded of this nor to be made to feel bad about not finding Mr Right. Unless it actually helps a person, there is no need to state the obvious or make it sound like someone is wrong for choosing a particular way of life. Otherwise, it is just nasty gossip.
One friend helped dig a well in Africa, but no one at another gathering cared about her stories. All they kept saying was: “But you didn’t meet anyone?” I rarely hear such points made when a man is single. I don’t hear people telling him its “time to have children” and how he should settle down.
We forget to be kind and actually listen without waiting to voice our opinions.At a recent women’s conference, a few powerful women kept mentioning that “unless you become a mother, you are not a complete woman”.
A few women felt put off by these statements. But at the end of it all, these are just someone’s opinions. They are not facts. It is up to you whether you allow a statement to affect you or not. It is the same thing with gossip: if someone comes and tells you something about another person, it is really up to you to decide what to do with it. Just remember though, when there is a fire, it is best to put it out.
rghazal@thenational.ae
On Twitter: @Arabianmau
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
HAEMOGLOBIN DISORDERS EXPLAINED
Thalassaemia is part of a family of genetic conditions affecting the blood known as haemoglobin disorders.
Haemoglobin is a substance in the red blood cells that carries oxygen and a lack of it triggers anemia, leaving patients very weak, short of breath and pale.
The most severe type of the condition is typically inherited when both parents are carriers. Those patients often require regular blood transfusions - about 450 of the UAE's 2,000 thalassaemia patients - though frequent transfusions can lead to too much iron in the body and heart and liver problems.
The condition mainly affects people of Mediterranean, South Asian, South-East Asian and Middle Eastern origin. Saudi Arabia recorded 45,892 cases of carriers between 2004 and 2014.
A World Health Organisation study estimated that globally there are at least 950,000 'new carrier couples' every year and annually there are 1.33 million at-risk pregnancies.
Company%20profile
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Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
RESULTS
West Asia Premiership
Thursday
Jebel Ali Dragons 13-34 Dubai Exiles
Friday
Dubai Knights Eagles 16-27 Dubai Tigers
Emergency
Director: Kangana Ranaut
Stars: Kangana Ranaut, Anupam Kher, Shreyas Talpade, Milind Soman, Mahima Chaudhry
Rating: 2/5
'Dark Waters'
Directed by: Todd Haynes
Starring: Mark Ruffalo, Anne Hathaway, William Jackson Harper
Rating: ****
The National's picks
4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young
How to increase your savings
- Have a plan for your savings.
- Decide on your emergency fund target and once that's achieved, assign your savings to another financial goal such as saving for a house or investing for retirement.
- Decide on a financial goal that is important to you and put your savings to work for you.
- It's important to have a purpose for your savings as it helps to keep you motivated to continue while also reducing the temptation to spend your savings.
- Carol Glynn, founder of Conscious Finance Coaching
Results
1. New Zealand Daniel Meech – Fine (name of horse), Richard Gardner – Calisto, Bruce Goodin - Backatorps Danny V, Samantha McIntosh – Check In. Team total First round: 200.22; Second round: 201.75 – Penalties 12 (jump-off 40.16 seconds) Prize €64,000
2. Ireland Cameron Hanley – Aiyetoro, David Simpson – Keoki, Paul Kennedy – Cartown Danger Mouse, Shane Breen – Laith. Team total 200.25/202.84 – P 12 (jump-off 51.79 – P17) Prize €40,000
3. Italy Luca Maria Moneta – Connery, Luca Coata – Crandessa, Simone Coata – Dardonge, Natale Chiaudani – Almero. Team total 130.82/198.-4 – P20. Prize €32,000
Tips to keep your car cool
- Place a sun reflector in your windshield when not driving
- Park in shaded or covered areas
- Add tint to windows
- Wrap your car to change the exterior colour
- Pick light interiors - choose colours such as beige and cream for seats and dashboard furniture
- Avoid leather interiors as these absorb more heat
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
Started: 2021
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
Based: Tunisia
Sector: Water technology
Number of staff: 22
Investment raised: $4 million
In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe
Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010
Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille
Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm
Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year
Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”
Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners
TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013
Women & Power: A Manifesto
Mary Beard
Profile Books and London Review of Books
The bio
Studied up to grade 12 in Vatanappally, a village in India’s southern Thrissur district
Was a middle distance state athletics champion in school
Enjoys driving to Fujairah and Ras Al Khaimah with family
His dream is to continue working as a social worker and help people
Has seven diaries in which he has jotted down notes about his work and money he earned
Keeps the diaries in his car to remember his journey in the Emirates
Joker: Folie a Deux
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson
Director: Todd Phillips
Rating: 2/5
COMPANY%20PROFILE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EName%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EQureos%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EUAE%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ELaunch%20year%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2021%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20employees%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E33%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESoftware%20and%20technology%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunding%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%243%20million%0D%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Abramovich London
A Kensington Palace Gardens house with 15 bedrooms is valued at more than £150 million.
A three-storey penthouse at Chelsea Waterfront bought for £22 million.
Steel company Evraz drops more than 10 per cent in trading after UK officials said it was potentially supplying the Russian military.
Sale of Chelsea Football Club is now impossible.
Museum of the Future in numbers
- 78 metres is the height of the museum
- 30,000 square metres is its total area
- 17,000 square metres is the length of the stainless steel facade
- 14 kilometres is the length of LED lights used on the facade
- 1,024 individual pieces make up the exterior
- 7 floors in all, with one for administrative offices
- 2,400 diagonally intersecting steel members frame the torus shape
- 100 species of trees and plants dot the gardens
- Dh145 is the price of a ticket
RESULT
Liverpool 4 Southampton 0
Jota (2', 32')
Thiago (37')
Van Dijk (52')
Man of the match: Diogo Jota (Liverpool)
NO OTHER LAND
Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal
Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham
Rating: 3.5/5
Test
Director: S Sashikanth
Cast: Nayanthara, Siddharth, Meera Jasmine, R Madhavan
Star rating: 2/5
