A 1,400-kilometre slog from the Mediterranean to London brought a useful reminder of one of pop music’s functions. It makes a long, tedious motorway drive more bearable.
Radio playlists are limited, unimaginative and contain plenty that is excruciating. But there is enough scope for station-hopping, along with breaks for the news, to let us overlook an obvious defect of modern songs: the routine awfulness of its words.
Pop music, a phrase commonly associated with the 1960s even for those born long since, provides pleasure and even comfort to listeners. As well as singing along to it in the car, when dancing or at live performances, we find genuine musical merit. The Beatles and Beach Boys composed melodies to be remembered. The Rolling Stones were – still are – capable of generating excitement.
But when we see the lyrics written down, or think them through, negative feelings can intrude. In so many cases, the words are pure drivel.
There are exceptions but they often occur in related genres, such as folk music, or in languages other than the English that dominates pop. Wonderful wordplay enriches the work of Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen and Paul Simon. Richard Thompson, a founder member of the British folk-rock band Fairport Convention, is an accomplished poet as well as a superb guitarist. An English singer, June Tabor, correctly identifies Anachie Gordon, a traditional ballad in eight verses on the common theme of a young woman refusing to abandon a low-born boyfriend for the wealthy suitor chosen by her father, as "wasting not a single word".
But what must we make of the words listed by Buzzfeed.com in a feature headlined 27 Of The Most Mind-Bogglingly Stupid Song Lyrics Of All Time?
"If the light is off, then it isn't on," sang Hilary Duff in So Yesterday. "Only time will tell if we stand the test of time," was a gem from Van Halen's Why Can't This Be Love?
There is much worse. Buzzfeed’s list included lyrics that are not just vulgar but illiterate. Even when the writer seems to make an effort, the results can be irritating.
Elton John's tribute to Marilyn Monroe, Candle in the Wind, has these lines written by Bernie Taupin: "Even when you died/Oh the press still hounded you/All the papers had to say/Was that Marilyn was found in the nude."
If that really was “all the papers had to say”, as opposed to saying a great deal more, no report would have stretched beyond a paragraph, doubtless to Taupin and John’s approval.
A colleague at The National once urged me to write about Alanis Morissette's hit single, Ironic. I never got round to it, but he had a point; Morissette describes a series of unhappy coincidences – "a traffic jam when you're already late", "a no-smoking sign in a cigarette break, "meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife" – and none matches standard dictionary definitions of irony.
At least Morissette’s words pass one test. They read well on the page. And she can take refuge in secondary definitions that allow irony as a “state of affairs or event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often wryly amusing as a result”.
But then pedants, as pop song writers might eagerly point out, have been known to dismiss secondary definitions.
French pop music, unavoidable on my road trip, has the opposite problem: the lyrics can be eloquent but the effect is marred by predictable or unduly smooth tunes and arrangements.
Perhaps the moral has all the simplicity of old-fashioned pop. We should be content to listen, enjoy and forget the words.
Colin Randall is a former executive editor of The National
PROFILE OF SWVL
Started: April 2017
Founders: Mostafa Kandil, Ahmed Sabbah and Mahmoud Nouh
Based: Cairo, Egypt
Sector: transport
Size: 450 employees
Investment: approximately $80 million
Investors include: Dubai’s Beco Capital, US’s Endeavor Catalyst, China’s MSA, Egypt’s Sawari Ventures, Sweden’s Vostok New Ventures, Property Finder CEO Michael Lahyani
The rules on fostering in the UAE
A foster couple or family must:
- be Muslim, Emirati and be residing in the UAE
- not be younger than 25 years old
- not have been convicted of offences or crimes involving moral turpitude
- be free of infectious diseases or psychological and mental disorders
- have the ability to support its members and the foster child financially
- undertake to treat and raise the child in a proper manner and take care of his or her health and well-being
- A single, divorced or widowed Muslim Emirati female, residing in the UAE may apply to foster a child if she is at least 30 years old and able to support the child financially
The Lowdown
Kesari
Rating: 2.5/5 stars
Produced by: Dharma Productions, Azure Entertainment
Directed by: Anubhav Singh
Cast: Akshay Kumar, Parineeti Chopra
Yahya Al Ghassani's bio
Date of birth: April 18, 1998
Playing position: Winger
Clubs: 2015-2017 – Al Ahli Dubai; March-June 2018 – Paris FC; August – Al Wahda
NO OTHER LAND
Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal
Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham
Rating: 3.5/5
Company%20profile
%3Cp%3EName%3A%20Tabby%3Cbr%3EFounded%3A%20August%202019%3B%20platform%20went%20live%20in%20February%202020%3Cbr%3EFounder%2FCEO%3A%20Hosam%20Arab%2C%20co-founder%3A%20Daniil%20Barkalov%3Cbr%3EBased%3A%20Dubai%2C%20UAE%3Cbr%3ESector%3A%20Payments%3Cbr%3ESize%3A%2040-50%20employees%3Cbr%3EStage%3A%20Series%20A%3Cbr%3EInvestors%3A%20Arbor%20Ventures%2C%20Mubadala%20Capital%2C%20Wamda%20Capital%2C%20STV%2C%20Raed%20Ventures%2C%20Global%20Founders%20Capital%2C%20JIMCO%2C%20Global%20Ventures%2C%20Venture%20Souq%2C%20Outliers%20VC%2C%20MSA%20Capital%2C%20HOF%20and%20AB%20Accelerator.%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
At a glance
Global events: Much of the UK’s economic woes were blamed on “increased global uncertainty”, which can be interpreted as the economic impact of the Ukraine war and the uncertainty over Donald Trump’s tariffs.
Growth forecasts: Cut for 2025 from 2 per cent to 1 per cent. The OBR watchdog also estimated inflation will average 3.2 per cent this year
Welfare: Universal credit health element cut by 50 per cent and frozen for new claimants, building on cuts to the disability and incapacity bill set out earlier this month
Spending cuts: Overall day-to day-spending across government cut by £6.1bn in 2029-30
Tax evasion: Steps to crack down on tax evasion to raise “£6.5bn per year” for the public purse
Defence: New high-tech weaponry, upgrading HM Naval Base in Portsmouth
Housing: Housebuilding to reach its highest in 40 years, with planning reforms helping generate an extra £3.4bn for public finances
Brief scoreline:
Toss: South Africa, elected to bowl first
England (311-8): Stokes 89, Morgan 57, Roy 54, Root 51; Ngidi 3-66
South Africa (207): De Kock 68, Van der Dussen 50; Archer 3-27, Stokes 2-12
RESULTS
Catchweight 63.5kg: Shakriyor Juraev (UZB) beat Bahez Khoshnaw (IRQ). Round 3 TKO (body kick)
Lightweight: Nart Abida (JOR) beat Moussa Salih (MAR). Round 1 by rear naked choke
Catchweight 79kg: Laid Zerhouni (ALG) beat Ahmed Saeb (IRQ). Round 1 TKO (punches)
Catchweight 58kg: Omar Al Hussaini (UAE) beat Mohamed Sahabdeen (SLA) Round 1 rear naked choke
Flyweight: Lina Fayyad (JOR) beat Sophia Haddouche (ALG) Round 2 TKO (ground and pound)
Catchweight 80kg: Badreddine Diani (MAR) beat Sofiane Aïssaoui (ALG) Round 2 TKO
Flyweight: Sabriye Sengul (TUR) beat Mona Ftouhi (TUN). Unanimous decision
Middleweight: Kher Khalifa Eshoushan (LIB) beat Essa Basem (JOR). Round 1 rear naked choke
Heavyweight: Mohamed Jumaa (SUD) beat Hassen Rahat (MAR). Round 1 TKO (ground and pound)
Lightweight: Abdullah Mohammad Ali Musalim (UAE beat Omar Emad (EGY). Round 1 triangle choke
Catchweight 62kg: Ali Taleb (IRQ) beat Mohamed El Mesbahi (MAR). Round 2 KO
Catchweight 88kg: Mohamad Osseili (LEB) beat Samir Zaidi (COM). Unanimous decision
THE SPECS
Engine: 6.75-litre twin-turbocharged V12 petrol engine
Power: 420kW
Torque: 780Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh1,350,000
On sale: Available for preorder now
Skewed figures
In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458.
The White Lotus: Season three
Creator: Mike White
Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell
Rating: 4.5/5
Globalization and its Discontents Revisited
Joseph E. Stiglitz
W. W. Norton & Company
The Comeback: Elvis And The Story Of The 68 Special
Simon Goddard
Omnibus Press
Company name: Farmin
Date started: March 2019
Founder: Dr Ali Al Hammadi
Based: Abu Dhabi
Sector: AgriTech
Initial investment: None to date
Partners/Incubators: UAE Space Agency/Krypto Labs
if you go
The flights
Air France offer flights from Dubai and Abu Dhabi to Cayenne, connecting in Paris from Dh7,300.
The tour
Cox & Kings (coxandkings.com) has a 14-night Hidden Guianas tour of Guyana, Suriname and French Guiana. It includes accommodation, domestic flights, transfers, a local tour manager and guided sightseeing. Contact for price.
