"When shall we live if not now?”
This observation on the human condition from Seneca, a Roman philosopher and dramatist who lived from approximately 5 BC to 65 AD highlights the tension we all face as we try to find balance and happiness in our busy lives.
A recent work-life balance survey that appeared in the local media has highlighted the reality of expatriate life in the UAE.
Out of more than 1,300 professionals (nationality not indicated for the UAE respondents), 56 per cent of UAE respondents reported their work-life balance was “awful”, with 12-hour shifts accepted as the norm.
Even though this is a relatively small data pool, certain conclusions can be drawn. I know the general feeling among many who live and work here calls attention to the gap between the reality of work in the UAE and that imagined by those left back in the home countries.
In my current role, I meet many professionals in public- and private-sector companies and organisations, very few of whom I could describe as appearing to be happy or fulfilled.
Often the grey, pinched faces staring back at me betray dreadful stresses silently endured by many who land on these shores with lofty dreams of deep blue seas lapping sun-drenched beaches, sipping sunset mocktails while pondering the joys of the “easy life”.
Does the perfect work-life balance actually exist? What does it look like when we have it?
Reasonable work hours, time for leisure, exercise and precious family time, no all-nighters to meet early morning deadlines, no checking emails at 2am, and no reliance on multiple cups of coffee, perhaps. Or is it one of those human constructs, like nirvana, that remains just out of reach?
Opinions wildly differ.
As The Huffington Post’s Lisa Earle McLeod recently remarked: “we know exactly what perfect work-life balance is supposed to look like; we just don’t know anyone who actually does it.”
Her take is that the concept of work-life balance sets people up for failure because it suggests that your work is on one side of the equation and your life is on the other. They are like two opposing forces that wage a battle against each other, resulting in unfortunate win-lose outcomes.
Again, Seneca reminds us of the dangers of giving too little attention to all aspects of our lives when he says: “He who is everywhere, is nowhere.”
On the other hand, The Entrepreneur magazine sees balance as far more achievable and sustainable when it isn’t portrayed as a conflict of interest.
There are many hundreds of “inspiring” stories on the internet that showcase the perfect work-life balance, shaming us with catchphrases such as “If These People Can Do It, You Can, Too!”
From Stephen, a doctor at one of Boston’s busiest hospitals, who decided to remain in his day-job and also enrolled as a graduate student in a competitive MBA programme to establish his start-up business to a power couple, Brian and Beth, who between them run four businesses and find time to host weekly radio shows and do a spot of lecturing at the local university, these people exemplify the “can-do, will-do” attitude of those actively pursuing a work-life balance.
It seems to me that having the perfect work-life balance energises people, making them even more successful and capable. It also appears to take a lot of effort, energy and good planning to achieve the ideal balance.
Waking up in the middle of the night sometimes provides a moment of reflection about ourselves and life. How am I going? Are things working out?
We usually know the answers to those questions, and for me, it means enjoying my life every single day in all the important areas of my life – work, family, friends, self.
It also means having a sense of achievement in those important areas which feed self-esteem and self-worthiness.
All of this appears to support that adage that busy people are happy people.
And if that is true, the words of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid, Vice President of the UAE and Ruler of Dubai, in support of the new Happiness Ministry, highlight principles of sustainability and community cohesion that reinforce the importance of a work-life balance – “happiness and positivity in the UAE are a lifestyle, a government commitment and a spirit uniting the UAE community. The government system is evolving to realise the goals that every human seeks: happiness for him and his family.”
Everyone’s situation is different, so what do the experts tell us about how to achieve a work-life balance which works for us?
Firstly, some deep self-examination about our values and beliefs would help in setting out achievable congruent goals. When I make my job and career a priority because I value success and financial security, I’m not doing it to meet my company’s needs. I’m doing it because it fits with who I am and striving to be.
Secondly, be aware of the effect of that priority on the other important parts of your life – family, friends and self. And be forgiving of yourself when you sometimes mess up, when you are forced to work that late night instead of being at home reading a bedtime story to your child.
Finally, some firms in the UAE are rolling out bonus schemes to motivate employees in 2017.
As Dan Pink reports, people at work are motivated by a sense of autonomy, mastery of their skills and a sense of purpose – money may compensate for some late nights but it is fleeting and ultimately unrewarding.
Remain true to your values and remember these final words from Seneca: “As a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.”
Dr Peter J Hatherley-Greene is director of learning at Emarise