Not so long ago in French novelty shops, it was possible to buy the "Belgian coffee mug". Its handle was on the inside.
Such jokes, suggesting backwardness on the part of the intended targets, are not restricted to Franco-Belgian banter. Everyone has heard gags highlighting alleged Irish dullness; similar jibes are even aimed by natives of one Irish county (Cork) at those of another (Kerry).
But on yesterday's first anniversary of Belgium's eccentric experiment of trying to get along without a proper government, it was tempting to think we should not be bashing heads together, just waving the inside-handle mugs in the faces of the Belgian body politic.
How, after all, can anyone dislike a country represented in popular culture by the adorable sleuth Hercule Poirot, one of Hollywood's great leading ladies (Audrey Hepburn) and the immensely influential singer-songwriter Jacques Brel? Sadly, that simple question has an equally simple answer: Poirot was created by an English author, Agatha Christie; Hepburn was really Anglo-Dutch; and some people probably think Brel was French.
Belgium is indeed in a sorry mess. On June 13 last year, the electorate divided along classic lines between the French-speaking Walloons and the Dutch-speaking Flemish community. The nationalist N-VA party was the largest in the Flemish north, the socialists triumphed in Wallonia.
The outcome left no scope for a viable coalition and the country - all 34,000 square kilometres of it - has been ruled for a year by the unelected caretaker administration of a prime minister who, perhaps for the best, has a French name, Yves Camille Désiré Leterme, but is of Flemish stock.
In February, Belgium edged past Iraq to establish a new record of 250 days for a country being devoid of its own government, and one view of that might well be that Iraq's recent history of conflict gave it rather more excuse.
And the days are still being notched up. To the mischievous mind, it sounds almost like an interesting exercise in trying out anarchy as means of governance. Yet oddly enough, Mr Leterme and his flock of lame ducks seem to know roughly how to run a country that may have only 11 million citizens but is deemed important enough to house the headquarters for the European Union and Nato.
During the stalemate, Belgium has managed to reduce its deficit and agreed to commit air power to the UN-backed operation to counter Colonel Muammar Qaddafi's suppression of rebellion in Libya.
But even the current Miss Belgium senses the need to end an impasse that was preceded by one governmental crisis after another. The tone may owe something to astute publicists, but the words hardly seem too far off the mark. "Belgium is beautiful," Justine de Jonckheere, 19 and Flemish, told the newspaper Le Soir. "But I must admit the country has problems. Ministers hold endless meetings to reach an understanding, but never do. They need to put a little water in their wine.''
Will a teenage beauty queen's rebuke be sufficient to concentrate minds and produce a compromise everyone can live with? No one is holding their breath, not least because poor Ms de Jonckheere's election drew accusations of pro-Flemish favouritism from Walloon contestants.
Only last month, the Brussels public transport authority briefly banned songs in both French and Dutch for fear of exacerbating tension. The decision was quickly overturned by the makeshift administration but speaks volumes for the sense of communal misunderstanding that exists.
Reports from Brussels suggest that if the latest opinion poll soundings are to be believed, two-thirds of Belgians feel the country can survive the crisis without being broken up. "We have an awkward democracy, which is quite conflict prone," Carl Devos, professor of political science at Ghent University, told the British newspaper The Guardian. "If you don't have a national identity, everything is defined as them and us. Belgian problems don't exist: it's only French and Flemish problems."
With public services largely in the hands of regional authorities, the failure of national politics has not led to the breakdown of normal life. For the average Belgian, the absence of coherent government seems to matter little in practical terms.
The harder it becomes to see where agreement could be found to end feuding between the Flemish and the Walloons, the more it appears that the non-government of Belgium is destined to continue for some time to come.
Colin Randall is the former executive editor of The National and writes regularly from France
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Emirates Cricket Board Women’s T10
ECB Hawks v ECB Falcons
Monday, April 6, 7.30pm, Sharjah Cricket Stadium
The match will be broadcast live on the My Sports Eye Facebook page
Hawks
Coach: Chaitrali Kalgutkar
Squad: Chaya Mughal (captain), Archara Supriya, Chamani Senevirathne, Chathurika Anand, Geethika Jyothis, Indhuja Nandakumar, Kashish Loungani, Khushi Sharma, Khushi Tanwar, Rinitha Rajith, Siddhi Pagarani, Siya Gokhale, Subha Srinivasan, Suraksha Kotte, Theertha Satish
Falcons
Coach: Najeeb Amar
Squad: Kavisha Kumari (captain), Almaseera Jahangir, Annika Shivpuri, Archisha Mukherjee, Judit Cleetus, Ishani Senavirathne, Lavanya Keny, Mahika Gaur, Malavika Unnithan, Rishitha Rajith, Rithika Rajith, Samaira Dharnidharka, Shashini Kaluarachchi, Udeni Kuruppuarachchi, Vaishnave Mahesh
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Election pledges on migration
CDU: "Now is the time to control the German borders and enforce strict border rejections"
SPD: "Border closures and blanket rejections at internal borders contradict the spirit of a common area of freedom"
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
The Prison Letters of Nelson Mandela
Edited by Sahm Venter
Published by Liveright
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
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