Every year, Eid brings a melancholic set of memories. I remember the family gatherings back home in Syria, the great food, new clothes, gifts and toys. As years passed by, I never got used to being indefinitely exiled. Each year brings its own new set of memories. Life goes on. This year, however, I have found myself marking a milestone that I never wanted to reach in the first place. It is now a decade since I left Syria. It was the first morning after Eid in 2010 that I closed the door to my room for the last time and left my home.
A lot has happened since then. It has been more than nine years since the onset of Syria's civil war. More than half a million people have been killed, and nearly half of all Syrians are internally displaced or have sought refuge abroad. Those who remain must endure terrible living conditions, repression in regime-held areas, as well as daily violence. Those who have escaped have to live with the fact that they may never be able to come home again.
I was living abroad before the conflict started. My parents had a very tough time making a good living as teachers in Syria. This left them with little choice but to seek employment elsewhere.
In 1998, my father was offered work at a school in Riyadh. He took the job and travelled there, forced to leave us behind. Luckily, his financial situation improved and my family was able to move to Saudi Arabia in the autumn of 2003.
After that, we started spending our summer vacations in Syria. Every year, I would essentially leave my life in Riyadh behind and go live a new one for a couple of months in my home town of Hama.
During that time, I did not have a phone, access to the internet or any connection with my school friends in Saudi Arabia. Honestly, during those first years abroad, it became quite hard to go back home. It even felt like a chore.
The holidays started to become more and more exciting as I grew up. By the time of my last visit in 2010, I was almost 17 and living my best life. That year was wonderful. It was the year of the World Cup in South Africa and people were out celebrating in cafes all day.
Although Hama is quite small, I came to realise there is a lot to see and explore. My brother and I developed a serious obsession for collecting DVDs and records. We walked all over the city and looked for interesting material in the least expected places. That new passion introduced us to a unique side of our city. The enjoyment I got from going on the hunt for Hama’s hidden gems was like nothing I had ever experienced before.
To this day, these are some of the things I am most grateful for during my last summer in Syria; 2010 was also the year when I became genuinely interested in my local history.
I had been passing by all those beautiful water wheels and old buildings for years without looking twice – probably because I was only a child, but still, we really do take things for granted sometimes. I know I did and I regret it. But who would have thought that a decade could pass by without being able to go back home? Certainly not my 17-year-old self.
My father taught me a lot about Hama and its sombre past on my last night there.
By the end of 2013 we knew the crisis would not end anytime soon
As we walked through the old city, late on a Ramadan night, he showed me something that will forever be etched in my memory. I was well aware of the horrors that followed the 1982 uprising in Hama, when more than half of the old city was wiped off the map along with its residents, for daring to challenge the rule of the Assad family. Among them was the husband of my father’s aunt and his eldest son. One night they were having dinner in their home courtyard when army officers broke into the house, arrested the two men and executed them along with a group of neighbours. That evening, many years later, my father took me to the exact same spot where they were shot. I could see the bullet holes with my own eyes.
As we silently walked away I had a revelation and, without thinking, I leaned towards a random wall and kissed it. I still don’t know why exactly I did that, but one thing I remember was love filling my heart. I knew I had a home I can freely love and be proud of. My father stopped, looked at me and gave me a warm smile. I felt extremely awkward at the time. He said nothing and we kept on walking. Neither of us knew that that was the last time we would see Hama.
A few days later, I packed my things and left Syria for the last time. The revolution started only five months later. At the beginning, we were hopeful that things would soon change for the better.
In 2011, Hama rose up again in what is still considered the biggest protest against President Bashar Al Assad, and once more its people were brutally silenced. By the end of 2013 we knew the crisis would not end any time soon.
In early 2016, I lost my father. His passing was extremely painful. It hurt to know that he died in exile, away from the one place he truly loved. He was separated from his friends and family and I knew this truly pained him. With his passing, I also lost my compass and my guide; the reference point I saw most of Syria through. Even if I get to go back to Hama one day, it will never be the same without him.
It has already been 10 years. My abandoned room is now a time capsule. A window into my past, frozen in time, with all my books, my toys and the clothes that don’t fit any more. Maybe one day I will go back, and step into the space that was once my haven. Maybe not.
Syrian men who wish to go back home despite the dangers risk being recruited into the army against their will. Military service is mandatory for men between 18 and 42 years old, and failing to enrol is considered a crime, with consequences ranging from forced conscription upon arrival to detention and torture. There are many documented cases of people going back and simply disappearing. I recently found out my name was on a list of men wanted for this so-called crime.
For the past decade, nothing scared me more than the thought of seeing the home I was raised in collapsed to the ground. I am lucky and privileged to still have my family house intact and to be safe in Europe. Others have lost their homes – or worse.
Ten years have passed, and today, the regime has managed to impose its iron fist on most of Syria, including Hama. I realise that I can only ever see my home town and walk its streets again when it is in a better shape and in better hands. But I also believe these hardships have made us Syrians appreciate our home country even more, especially those of us living abroad. Some of us may have taken it for granted before. After a decade of bloodshed, there still is hope. Now I am certain that if I do go back, it means that Syria has finally become a happier, more democratic place.
Adnan Samman is a Syrian visual artist and researcher based in Budapest, Hungary
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Company%20profile
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RIDE%20ON
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ONCE UPON A TIME IN GAZA
Starring: Nader Abd Alhay, Majd Eid, Ramzi Maqdisi
Directors: Tarzan and Arab Nasser
Rating: 4.5/5
More on animal trafficking
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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The specs
Engine: 1.5-litre 4-cylinder petrol
Power: 154bhp
Torque: 250Nm
Transmission: 7-speed automatic with 8-speed sports option
Price: From Dh79,600
On sale: Now
In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe
Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010
Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille
Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm
Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year
Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”
Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners
TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013
CREW
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Racecard
5.25pm: Etihad Museum – Maiden (TB) Dh82,500 (Turf) 1,200m
6pm: Al Shindaga Museum – Handicap (TB) Dh87,500 (Dirt) 1,200m
6.35pm: Poet Al Oqaili – Handicap (TB) Dh95,000 (T) 1,400m
7.10pm: Majlis Ghurfat Al Sheif – Handicap (TB) Dh87,500 (D) 1,600m
7.45pm: Hatta – Handicap (TB) Dh95,000 (T) 1,400m
8.20pm: Al Fahidi – Rated Conditions (TB) Dh87,500 (D) 2,200m
8.55pm: Zabeel Trophy – Rated Conditions (TB) Dh120,000 (T) 1,600m
9.30pm: Coins Museum – Rated Conditions (TB) Dh95,000 (D) 1,600m
10.05pm: Al Quoz Creative – Handicap (TB) Dh95,000 (T) 1,000m
Six large-scale objects on show
- Concrete wall and windows from the now demolished Robin Hood Gardens housing estate in Poplar
- The 17th Century Agra Colonnade, from the bathhouse of the fort of Agra in India
- A stagecloth for The Ballet Russes that is 10m high – the largest Picasso in the world
- Frank Lloyd Wright’s 1930s Kaufmann Office
- A full-scale Frankfurt Kitchen designed by Margarete Schütte-Lihotzky, which transformed kitchen design in the 20th century
- Torrijos Palace dome
List of alleged parties
May 15 2020: PM and Carrie attend 'work meeting' with at
least 17 staff members
May 20 2020: PM and Carrie attend 'bring your own booze'
party
Nov 27 2020: PM gives speech at leaving do for his staff
Dec 10 2020: Staff party held by then-education secretary
Gavin Williamson
Dec 13 2020: PM and Carrie throw a flat party
Dec 14 2020: London mayor candidate Shaun Bailey holds staff party at Conservative
Party headquarters
Dec 15 2020: PM takes part in a staff quiz
Dec 18 2020: Downing Street Christmas party
T20 World Cup Qualifier, Muscat
UAE FIXTURES
Friday February 18: v Ireland
Saturday February 19: v Germany
Monday February 21: v Philippines
Tuesday February 22: semi-finals
Thursday February 24: final
Libya's Gold
UN Panel of Experts found regime secretly sold a fifth of the country's gold reserves.
The panel’s 2017 report followed a trail to West Africa where large sums of cash and gold were hidden by Abdullah Al Senussi, Qaddafi’s former intelligence chief, in 2011.
Cases filled with cash that was said to amount to $560m in 100 dollar notes, that was kept by a group of Libyans in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso.
A second stash was said to have been held in Accra, Ghana, inside boxes at the local offices of an international human rights organisation based in France.
The specs
Engine: 1.6-litre 4-cyl turbo
Power: 217hp at 5,750rpm
Torque: 300Nm at 1,900rpm
Transmission: eight-speed auto
Price: from Dh130,000
On sale: now
Results
2.30pm: Expo 2020 Dubai – Conditions (PA) Dh80,000 (Dirt) 1,600m; Winner: Barakka, Ray Dawson (jockey), Ahmad bin Harmash (trainer)
3.05pm: Now Or Never – Maiden (TB) Dh82,500 (Turf) 1,600m; Winner: One Idea, Andrea Atzeni, Doug Watson
3.40pm: This Is Our Time – Handicap (TB) Dh82,500 (D) 1,600m; Winner: Perfect Balance, Tadhg O’Shea, Bhupat Seemar
4.15pm: Visit Expo 2020 – Handicap (TB) Dh87,500 (T) 1,600m; Winner: Kaheall, Richard Mullen, Salem bin Ghadayer
4.50pm: The World In One Place – Handicap (TB) Dh95,000 (T) 1.900m; Winner: Castlebar, Adrie de Vries, Helal Al Alawi
5.25pm: Vision – Handicap (TB) Dh95,000 (D) 1,200m; Winner: Shanty Star, Richard Mullen, Rashed Bouresly
6pm: Al Wasl Plaza – Handicap (TB) Dh95,000 (T) 1,200m; Winner: Jadwal, Dane O’Neill, Doug Watson
Unresolved crisis
Russia and Ukraine have been locked in a bitter conflict since 2014, when Ukraine’s Kremlin-friendly president was ousted, Moscow annexed Crimea and then backed a separatist insurgency in the east.
Fighting between the Russia-backed rebels and Ukrainian forces has killed more than 14,000 people. In 2015, France and Germany helped broker a peace deal, known as the Minsk agreements, that ended large-scale hostilities but failed to bring a political settlement of the conflict.
The Kremlin has repeatedly accused Kiev of sabotaging the deal, and Ukrainian officials in recent weeks said that implementing it in full would hurt Ukraine.
Look north
BBC business reporters, like a new raft of government officials, are being removed from the national and international hub of London and surely the quality of their work must suffer.
SANCTIONED
- Kirill Shamalov, Russia's youngest billionaire and previously married to Putin's daughter Katarina
- Petr Fradkov, head of recently sanctioned Promsvyazbank and son of former head of Russian Foreign Intelligence, the FSB.
- Denis Bortnikov, Deputy President of Russia's largest bank VTB. He is the son of Alexander Bortnikov, head of the FSB which was responsible for the poisoning of political activist Alexey Navalny in August 2020 with banned chemical agent novichok.
- Yury Slyusar, director of United Aircraft Corporation, a major aircraft manufacturer for the Russian military.
- Elena Aleksandrovna Georgieva, chair of the board of Novikombank, a state-owned defence conglomerate.
'The Last Days of Ptolemy Grey'
Rating: 3/5
Directors: Ramin Bahrani, Debbie Allen, Hanelle Culpepper, Guillermo Navarro
Writers: Walter Mosley
Stars: Samuel L Jackson, Dominique Fishback, Walton Goggins
The specs
Engine: 6.2-litre supercharged V8
Power: 712hp at 6,100rpm
Torque: 881Nm at 4,800rpm
Transmission: 8-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 19.6 l/100km
Price: Dh380,000
On sale: now
INVESTMENT PLEDGES
Cartlow: $13.4m
Rabbitmart: $14m
Smileneo: $5.8m
Soum: $4m
imVentures: $100m
Plug and Play: $25m
THE NEW BATCH'S FOCUS SECTORS
AiFlux – renewables, oil and gas
DevisionX – manufacturing
Event Gates – security and manufacturing
Farmdar – agriculture
Farmin – smart cities
Greener Crop – agriculture
Ipera.ai – space digitisation
Lune Technologies – fibre-optics
Monak – delivery
NutzenTech – environment
Nybl – machine learning
Occicor – shelf management
Olymon Solutions – smart automation
Pivony – user-generated data
PowerDev – energy big data
Sav – finance
Searover – renewables
Swftbox – delivery
Trade Capital Partners – FinTech
Valorafutbol – sports and entertainment
Workfam – employee engagement
Mina Cup winners
Under 12 – Minerva Academy
Under 14 – Unam Pumas
Under 16 – Fursan Hispania
Under 18 – Madenat
The%20specs
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Turkish Ladies
Various artists, Sony Music Turkey
Read more from Kareem Shaheen
MATCH INFO
Norwich City 1 (Cantwell 75') Manchester United 2 (Aghalo 51' 118') After extra time.
Man of the match Harry Maguire (Manchester United)
