The hardest part about writing a script with a hugely fat character is: you’ve got to go out and find a hugely fat actor to play the part.
You’d think it would be easy. Americans aren’t known for their overall slenderness. Airports all across the country are clogged with double-wide wheelchairs carting around double-wide passengers, and on every street corner there are abundant offerings of fried, supersized snacks. Statistically, it would seem like an easy bet that there would be a large number of extra-large actors to choose from.
The problem is that actors – like everyone else, I suppose – sometimes haven’t accepted the ravages that nature and time, and triple cheeseburgers, have made on them.
Years ago, I was trying to cast a show that featured as a key role a grandmother. That’s always a delicate problem, because when you’re offering a role to an actor, you don’t want to insult them. “We’d like you to play the role of an elderly woman” is a tough thing to ask an actress who may not think of herself as “elderly”, in the same way you have to be careful asking a young, handsome actor to play the “geeky loser”.
We offered the role to a legendary actress, someone who had starred in movies and on Broadway since the late 1950s. In other words, she was old. Really old. But still spry and lively and perfect for the role.
“I really don’t see myself as a grandmother,” was the word she sent back. “I don’t think I’m old enough.”
She was 82.
It’s an occupational hazard, I suppose: actors lie for a living, so it’s only natural that they lie to themselves as well.
So, when it was time to cast my new show, I tried to be careful. When we sent the word out to agents and managers that we were looking for a “large” actor to play a character who “struggles with his weight”, we were pretty sure we were sending the right message about the role.
We got lucky. One actor fitted the bill: he was talented, funny, and enormous. We offered him the role.
“I don’t want to be ‘the fat guy’ anymore,” he told us when we met. “So there’s more to this role, right?”
There isn’t, really, but we needed a guy to play the part, and this actor had yet to agree, so I said: “Of course there is! His weight is really just a starting point! We’re not planning to dwell on it, or anything!”
He looks at me, warily. “I just don’t want to take the role and then find out that it’s all going to be ‘the fat guy eats’ and ‘the fat guy gets stuck in a doorway’.”
I shook my head violently. “No, no,” I said. “Nothing could be further from what we want. We’re just looking for something interesting and specific for the character. What makes him special. Also, I mean, you’re not really all that fat, if you don’t mind my saying.”
Now, to set the scene a bit, you have to imagine a very large man wedged into an expensive leather chair, most of him oozing out and enveloping the armrests. This actor, apparently, didn’t want to be “the fat guy” in the same way that the 82 year-old Broadway actress didn’t want to be “the grandmother”.
But just because he’s fat doesn’t mean he’s stupid. He saw right through me. He knew a thing or two about comedy writers: we’ll lie to anyone to get the joke on film. We’ll sell our souls for a laugh. And there is one bedrock truth to comedy, and that’s this: fat people are funny. We wanted a fat actor because we were going to mine his ample girth for comedy. He was, if he took this role, going to be “the fat guy”. He was going to suffer lots of indignities. And he was, since he just gave me a terrific idea for a funny scene, going to get stuck in a doorway.
He turned us down. So we’re still looking. If you know of any funny, fat actors, please tell them that I’m looking for exactly that. But, of course, don’t fail to mention that we’re planning to really explore all of the other facets of the character. Just be more convincing than I was.
Rob Long is a writer and producer based in Hollywood
On Twitter: @rcbl
Quick%20facts
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Read more from Johann Chacko
The smuggler
Eldarir had arrived at JFK in January 2020 with three suitcases, containing goods he valued at $300, when he was directed to a search area.
Officers found 41 gold artefacts among the bags, including amulets from a funerary set which prepared the deceased for the afterlife.
Also found was a cartouche of a Ptolemaic king on a relief that was originally part of a royal building or temple.
The largest single group of items found in Eldarir’s cases were 400 shabtis, or figurines.
Khouli conviction
Khouli smuggled items into the US by making false declarations to customs about the country of origin and value of the items.
According to Immigration and Customs Enforcement, he provided “false provenances which stated that [two] Egyptian antiquities were part of a collection assembled by Khouli's father in Israel in the 1960s” when in fact “Khouli acquired the Egyptian antiquities from other dealers”.
He was sentenced to one year of probation, six months of home confinement and 200 hours of community service in 2012 after admitting buying and smuggling Egyptian antiquities, including coffins, funerary boats and limestone figures.
For sale
A number of other items said to come from the collection of Ezeldeen Taha Eldarir are currently or recently for sale.
Their provenance is described in near identical terms as the British Museum shabti: bought from Salahaddin Sirmali, "authenticated and appraised" by Hossen Rashed, then imported to the US in 1948.
- An Egyptian Mummy mask dating from 700BC-30BC, is on offer for £11,807 ($15,275) online by a seller in Mexico
- A coffin lid dating back to 664BC-332BC was offered for sale by a Colorado-based art dealer, with a starting price of $65,000
- A shabti that was on sale through a Chicago-based coin dealer, dating from 1567BC-1085BC, is up for $1,950
More from our neighbourhood series:
RESULT
Bayern Munich 3 Chelsea 2
Bayern: Rafinha (6'), Muller (12', 27')
Chelsea: Alonso (45' 3), Batshuayi (85')
At a glance
Global events: Much of the UK’s economic woes were blamed on “increased global uncertainty”, which can be interpreted as the economic impact of the Ukraine war and the uncertainty over Donald Trump’s tariffs.
Growth forecasts: Cut for 2025 from 2 per cent to 1 per cent. The OBR watchdog also estimated inflation will average 3.2 per cent this year
Welfare: Universal credit health element cut by 50 per cent and frozen for new claimants, building on cuts to the disability and incapacity bill set out earlier this month
Spending cuts: Overall day-to day-spending across government cut by £6.1bn in 2029-30
Tax evasion: Steps to crack down on tax evasion to raise “£6.5bn per year” for the public purse
Defence: New high-tech weaponry, upgrading HM Naval Base in Portsmouth
Housing: Housebuilding to reach its highest in 40 years, with planning reforms helping generate an extra £3.4bn for public finances
Election pledges on migration
CDU: "Now is the time to control the German borders and enforce strict border rejections"
SPD: "Border closures and blanket rejections at internal borders contradict the spirit of a common area of freedom"
Dengue%20fever%20symptoms
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Profile
Company: Justmop.com
Date started: December 2015
Founders: Kerem Kuyucu and Cagatay Ozcan
Sector: Technology and home services
Based: Jumeirah Lake Towers, Dubai
Size: 55 employees and 100,000 cleaning requests a month
Funding: The company’s investors include Collective Spark, Faith Capital Holding, Oak Capital, VentureFriends, and 500 Startups.
NBA Finals results
Game 1: Warriors 124, Cavaliers 114
Game 2: Warriors 122, Cavaliers 103
Game 3: Cavaliers 102, Warriors 110
Game 4: In Cleveland, Sunday (Monday morning UAE)
A MINECRAFT MOVIE
Director: Jared Hess
Starring: Jack Black, Jennifer Coolidge, Jason Momoa
Rating: 3/5
'My Son'
Director: Christian Carion
Starring: James McAvoy, Claire Foy, Tom Cullen, Gary Lewis
Rating: 2/5
Armies of Sand
By Kenneth Pollack (Oxford University Press)
The%20Woman%20King%20
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Gina%20Prince-Bythewood%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Viola%20Davis%2C%20Thuso%20Mbedu%2C%20Sheila%20Atim%2C%20Lashana%20Lynch%2C%20John%20Boyega%C2%A0%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%203%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The White Lotus: Season three
Creator: Mike White
Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell
Rating: 4.5/5
AndhaDhun
Director: Sriram Raghavan
Producer: Matchbox Pictures, Viacom18
Cast: Ayushmann Khurrana, Tabu, Radhika Apte, Anil Dhawan
Rating: 3.5/5
AVOID SCAMMERS: TIPS FROM EMIRATES NBD
1. Never respond to e-mails, calls or messages asking for account, card or internet banking details
2. Never store a card PIN (personal identification number) in your mobile or in your wallet
3. Ensure online shopping websites are secure and verified before providing card details
4. Change passwords periodically as a precautionary measure
5. Never share authentication data such as passwords, card PINs and OTPs (one-time passwords) with third parties
6. Track bank notifications regarding transaction discrepancies
7. Report lost or stolen debit and credit cards immediately
FIGHT%20CARD
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Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
Book%20Details
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AS%20WE%20EXIST
%3Cp%3EAuthor%3A%20Kaoutar%20Harchi%C2%A0%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EPublisher%3A%20Other%20Press%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EPages%3A%20176%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EAvailable%3A%20Now%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”