Am I a supermum? Heck yes. Do I want to be? Not really

It’s been a busy week. In the past seven days I’ve had to prep my seven-year-old for two extra curricular exams and accompany her to them. I’ve had to make two costumes for both children to wear to school. I’ve also had to build a school project and memorise times tables. This is in addition to planning a rigorous timetable of activities for both of them to engage in during the upcoming school holidays, weaving together play dates, camps and day trips. And that’s before sorting out the usual uniforms, homework, cooking and bedtimes. I’m exhausted. And every week feels the same.

If you’re a mum like me, you might be nodding along, weeping into a mug of cold tea that you made at breakfast time and are only getting around to drinking even though you’re about to go to bed. Because sometimes, as a mum, you need to prove to yourself that you can do normal things. Like make it to the end of a cup of tea. Even if it does take you 12 hours and it’s been reheated eight times.

So it comes as no surprise to me that a recent survey of 2,000 mothers of children aged five to 12 in the US has discovered that motherhood is more than a full-time job. Tell us something that us mums don’t already know! In fact, according to the research, mums spend on average 98 hours every week just on parent-related tasks. That’s the same as two and a half jobs. We are clocking on at 6.23am and clocking out at 8.31pm, although I feel like the duties involved in planning and preparation along with night time wake ups goes well past dinner time. And of course for working mums, there’s another job on top of all this.

Add all the jobs up and I’m doing more than three people’s worth of work. Am I a supermum? Heck yes. Do I want to be? Not really.

While the research characterises the work in the gender neutral term “parent-related tasks”, studies show not only does the vast bulk of parenting fall on women’s shoulders in absolute terms, but it also falls on women in proportionate terms too. A study by Ohio State University for example shows that after the birth of a new baby, the mother’s workload increased by 21 hours compared to the father’s that increased by 12.5 hours. So in real terms her workload increased more, and it was also a 70 per cent increase in relative terms, and this could not be explained by differences in paid work hours or breastfeeding.

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You can also add to this that women do the disproportionate share of the housework and tasks.

What you end up with is a picture of a family where the woman is working around three to five jobs in total. And given that childcare and housework accrue almost no pay, this work falls entirely under the radar. Add to this that any paid employment that women do undertake is victim to a gender pay gap, and the output appears to be a massive proportion of our population being excessively overworked with almost no recognition, financial, emotional or otherwise.

My concern is that the response to these revelations, from men who still won't step up, is to shrug their shoulders and say "that's why mums are so amazing!" rather than doing anything to help.

All of this doesn’t even begin to cover what is increasingly known as the ‘emotional load’ that women carry. That is all the planning, research and organisation required to manage children and a household which generally fall on the mother. This is invisible but intensely draining. How can we even measure and account for the toll it takes in terms of stress and the effect on physical and mental health.

What is better than lip service to mothers, is actions. Taking on the workload would be the best way to show appreciation. In fact, it needs to be done because doing the work is not about appreciation or a being a kindness or a gift. The workload in the household belongs to both parents.

That’s why I’m wondering as a starter if I should outsource this article to my husband so he's doing his share of the overall load.

'Brazen'

Director: Monika Mitchell

Starring: Alyssa Milano, Sam Page, Colleen Wheeler

Rating: 3/5

The National's picks

4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young

At a glance

Global events: Much of the UK’s economic woes were blamed on “increased global uncertainty”, which can be interpreted as the economic impact of the Ukraine war and the uncertainty over Donald Trump’s tariffs.

Growth forecasts: Cut for 2025 from 2 per cent to 1 per cent. The OBR watchdog also estimated inflation will average 3.2 per cent this year

Welfare: Universal credit health element cut by 50 per cent and frozen for new claimants, building on cuts to the disability and incapacity bill set out earlier this month

Spending cuts: Overall day-to day-spending across government cut by £6.1bn in 2029-30

Tax evasion: Steps to crack down on tax evasion to raise “£6.5bn per year” for the public purse

Defence: New high-tech weaponry, upgrading HM Naval Base in Portsmouth

Housing: Housebuilding to reach its highest in 40 years, with planning reforms helping generate an extra £3.4bn for public finances

Key facilities

Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
Premier League-standard football pitch
400m Olympic running track
NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
600-seat auditorium
Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
Specialist robotics and science laboratories
AR and VR-enabled learning centres
Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills

Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)

Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi

Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi

Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai

Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi

Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia

The Breadwinner

Director: Nora Twomey

Starring: Saara Chaudry, Soma Chhaya, Laara Sadiq

Three stars

COMPANY PROFILE

Name: Kumulus Water

Started: 2021

Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid

Based: Tunisia

Sector: Water technology

Number of staff: 22

Investment raised: $4 million

Student Of The Year 2

Director: Punit Malhotra

Stars: Tiger Shroff, Tara Sutaria, Ananya Pandey, Aditya Seal

1.5 stars

The specs

Engine: 4.0-litre flat-six

Power: 510hp at 9,000rpm

Torque: 450Nm at 6,100rpm

Transmission: 7-speed PDK auto or 6-speed manual

Fuel economy, combined: 13.8L/100km

On sale: Available to order now

Price: From Dh801,800

On Women's Day

Dr Nawal Al-Hosany: Why more women should be on the frontlines of climate action

Shelina Janmohamed: Why shouldn't a spouse be compensated fairly for housework?

Samar Elmnhrawy: How companies in the Middle East can catch up on gender equality

The National Editorial: Is there much to celebrate on International Women's Day 2021?

Dubai World Cup factbox

Most wins by a trainer: Godolphin’s Saeed bin Suroor(9)

Most wins by a jockey: Jerry Bailey(4)

Most wins by an owner: Godolphin(9)

Most wins by a horse: Godolphin’s Thunder Snow(2)

A MINECRAFT MOVIE

Director: Jared Hess

Starring: Jack Black, Jennifer Coolidge, Jason Momoa

Rating: 3/5

Tips to keep your car cool

Place a sun reflector in your windshield when not driving
Park in shaded or covered areas
Add tint to windows
Wrap your car to change the exterior colour
Pick light interiors - choose colours such as beige and cream for seats and dashboard furniture
Avoid leather interiors as these absorb more heat

How to watch Ireland v Pakistan in UAE

When: The one-off Test starts on Friday, May 11
What time: Each day’s play is scheduled to start at 2pm UAE time.
TV: The match will be broadcast on OSN Sports Cricket HD. Subscribers to the channel can also stream the action live on OSN Play.