The moment it finally hit me was when I stood by the door of the hospital room and looked at the empty bed: Dad was gone.
Every day, I had visited him in the intensive care unit for a month, and before that for a month in the ward. And I was his primary care giver for four years before that. Not to mention the many years prior of being there to give care, even though I didn’t think I was a carer. Caring for Mum was intertwined in those years, too. So, as I stood at the entrance of the hospital room that day, I realised I had lost my identity as a carer. It is an all-consuming role that requires dedication and sacrifice, and you don’t realise how many are doing it till you’re in that situation, round the clock looking after a family member or a friend.
Carers UK reports that in 2021, there were 6.5 million carers in the UK, and every day, 6,000 people become carers, many of whom are unpaid and unrecognised for their work, making an enormous contribution to society and saving the economy billions of pounds. The organisation adds that an estimated 1.4 million people provide over 50 hours of care a week – more hours than a full-time job – which affects their own lives and well-being.
But what happens after caring? A 2023 report by the charity group Carers UK, titled The experiences of former carers, highlights the profound impact of caregiving. My reaction post-bereavement was that the stress I was living in would be reset, now that I was in a seemingly less intense "post-caring" phase of life.
In the UK every day, 6,000 people become carers, many of whom are unpaid and unrecognised for their work
But it was only in reading reports that I found myself nodding along to challenges I hadn’t even recognised. Many former carers can face long-lasting effects on their mental and physical health, sometimes lasting 10 years or more.
In my own experience, the transition from being a full-time carer to suddenly not being one left me feeling lost without a core component of my identity. It left me without a framework I had established for my life and it seemed I was not alone.
The number of carers in the UK is only going to keep growing because by 2035, the number of people aged 85 and over who will need 24-hour care will double, according to a 2018 LSE report published in the medical journal The Lancet. This means we need urgent action and well-considered solutions to support carers, not just during but also after their caregiving roles.
One potential solution is to improve access to respite care during the caregiving period to reduce the build-up of fatigue and the tipping point to burnout. It’s taken me six months simply to realise how exhausted I still am. Respite care provides temporary relief for carers, allowing them to take a break and look after their own health. Feeling like the care work you are doing is valuable makes a difference to being able to do it well. It also helps a carer in the post-caring rationalisation that he or she goes through of understanding what happened during that period.
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A 2023 report by the UK’s Carers Trust is starkly titled Unpaid carers are not unsung heroes. We are forgotten, neglected and burnt out. It points to the importance of raising awareness about the importance of caregiving and advocating for better policies. Ed Davey, the leader of the Liberal Democratic Party, has been vocal about his own experiences as a carer: "Caring has been in the shadows far too long. It’s time to shine a light on it."
And then there’s money. Many struggle financially due to the demands of their role. The Carers UK report showed that 39 per cent of carers are in debt as a result of their caregiving responsibilities. In addition to financial support, mental health services for carers must be prioritised.
Accessible mental health services tailored to the needs of carers can provide crucial support and prevent long-term mental health problems.
Anywhere in the world, carers need a system of support – respite care, financial support, and mental health services – and this can’t stop at the moment of bereavement. It needs to be a more tapered approach.
Looking after our loved ones full time is an act of dedication, but it should not come at the expense of a person's well-being. We need to ensure that we care better for those who are caring.
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What can you do?
Document everything immediately; including dates, times, locations and witnesses
Seek professional advice from a legal expert
You can report an incident to HR or an immediate supervisor
You can use the Ministry of Human Resources and Emiratisation’s dedicated hotline
In criminal cases, you can contact the police for additional support
Our legal consultants
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
Specs
Engine: Electric motor generating 54.2kWh (Cooper SE and Aceman SE), 64.6kW (Countryman All4 SE)
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1,000 Books to Read Before You Die: A Life-Changing List
James Mustich, Workman
WOMAN AND CHILD
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Starring: Parinaz Izadyar, Payman Maadi
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
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Six large-scale objects on show
- Concrete wall and windows from the now demolished Robin Hood Gardens housing estate in Poplar
- The 17th Century Agra Colonnade, from the bathhouse of the fort of Agra in India
- A stagecloth for The Ballet Russes that is 10m high – the largest Picasso in the world
- Frank Lloyd Wright’s 1930s Kaufmann Office
- A full-scale Frankfurt Kitchen designed by Margarete Schütte-Lihotzky, which transformed kitchen design in the 20th century
- Torrijos Palace dome
If you go
The Flights
Emirates and Etihad fly direct to Johannesburg from Dubai and Abu Dhabi respectively. Economy return tickets cost from Dh2,650, including taxes.
The trip
Worldwide Motorhoming Holidays (worldwidemotorhomingholidays.co.uk) operates fly-drive motorhome holidays in eight destinations, including South Africa. Its 14-day Kruger and the Battlefields itinerary starts from Dh17,500, including campgrounds, excursions, unit hire and flights. Bobo Campers has a range of RVs for hire, including the 4-berth Discoverer 4 from Dh600 per day.
Skewed figures
In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458.
What are the main cyber security threats?
Cyber crime - This includes fraud, impersonation, scams and deepfake technology, tactics that are increasingly targeting infrastructure and exploiting human vulnerabilities.
Cyber terrorism - Social media platforms are used to spread radical ideologies, misinformation and disinformation, often with the aim of disrupting critical infrastructure such as power grids.
Cyber warfare - Shaped by geopolitical tension, hostile actors seek to infiltrate and compromise national infrastructure, using one country’s systems as a springboard to launch attacks on others.
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The National's picks
4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young
More on animal trafficking
In Full Flight: A Story of Africa and Atonement
John Heminway, Knopff
Abaya trends
The utilitarian robe held dear by Arab women is undergoing a change that reveals it as an elegant and graceful garment available in a range of colours and fabrics, while retaining its traditional appeal.
UK-EU trade at a glance
EU fishing vessels guaranteed access to UK waters for 12 years
Co-operation on security initiatives and procurement of defence products
Youth experience scheme to work, study or volunteer in UK and EU countries
Smoother border management with use of e-gates
Cutting red tape on import and export of food
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
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UK's plans to cut net migration
Under the UK government’s proposals, migrants will have to spend 10 years in the UK before being able to apply for citizenship.
Skilled worker visas will require a university degree, and there will be tighter restrictions on recruitment for jobs with skills shortages.
But what are described as "high-contributing" individuals such as doctors and nurses could be fast-tracked through the system.
Language requirements will be increased for all immigration routes to ensure a higher level of English.
Rules will also be laid out for adult dependants, meaning they will have to demonstrate a basic understanding of the language.
The plans also call for stricter tests for colleges and universities offering places to foreign students and a reduction in the time graduates can remain in the UK after their studies from two years to 18 months.
