The Al Falak Ballroom at Burj Al Arab, one of the many extravagant venues where weddings are held in the Emirates. Photo: Jumeirah
The Al Falak Ballroom at Burj Al Arab, one of the many extravagant venues where weddings are held in the Emirates. Photo: Jumeirah
The Al Falak Ballroom at Burj Al Arab, one of the many extravagant venues where weddings are held in the Emirates. Photo: Jumeirah
The Al Falak Ballroom at Burj Al Arab, one of the many extravagant venues where weddings are held in the Emirates. Photo: Jumeirah


Why a lavish wedding ceremony does not guarantee a happy marriage


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  • Arabic

April 07, 2023

It is the biggest day of your life, or so you are led to believe.

Expectations are high and when hundreds of guests arrive to witness you and your partner promising to share your lives together in holy union, you want them to leave having had a day they will never forget.

It is tempting to go overboard, and with rising costs it pains me to hear friends say they are still willing to pay a million dirhams (about $272,000) to get married, and they consider it reasonable for an event where their make-up alone costs more than Dh20,000.

There is not a lot of research on the cost of Emirati weddings, but a study from six years ago showed that the average cost was already more than Dh680,000, meaning by 2023 it may well have crossed the seven-figure threshold.

For a long time, authorities have been concerned about the causes of Emirati debt, and one of the biggest culprits is lavish weddings.

Rooted in UAE history

As far back as when the UAE Founding Father, the late Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan, was President, citizens have been advised to have a modest ceremony in order to start a stable life together without debt. For this reason, the UAE regularly hosts group weddings where young couples can marry without an inordinate price tag.

Sheikh Zayed requested that the first group wedding be organised in Al Ain in 1999. The biggest mass wedding coincided with the Year of Giving, in 2017, when 530 Emirati men and women married at Al Ain Centre for Conferences and Celebrations.

A group wedding of 188 Emirati couples which coincided with the country's celebrations of its 51st Union Day. Wam
A group wedding of 188 Emirati couples which coincided with the country's celebrations of its 51st Union Day. Wam

And in May last year, President Sheikh Mohamed attended a mass wedding in Abu Dhabi to show his support.

I am writing about the expense of weddings because it continues to be an issue in 2023.

My own example demonstrates how easy it is to get carried away with grand gestures, giving guests the ultimate experience and gifting them top-of-the-line gadgets and expensive ouds so that the night is never forgotten.

I understand the desire to have the best of everything, but the point is to begin a life together, not create years of debt repayments.

Some things seem important at the time. I remember refusing to give my guests a buffet dinner, opting for the more expensive sit-down menu, and when it came to entertainment only a famous musician would do.

I remember the price of the wedding planner, the flower garden theme and the gifts, but I don't remember asking what the cost would be to my marriage.

Sheikh Mohamed has attended mass weddings, such as this one in 2022. Also pictured; Sheikh Ahmed bin Mohamed bin Rashed, Sheikh Saif bin Mohamed, Sheikh Tahnoon bin Mohamed, Ruler's Representative in Al Ain Region, Sheikh Hamdan bin Zayed, Ruler’s Representative in Al Dhafra Region, Sheikh Saeed bin Zayed, Abu Dhabi Ruler's Representative, Sheikh Hamdan bin Mansour bin Zayed at Qasr Al Hosn. Photo: Ministry of Presidential Affairs
Sheikh Mohamed has attended mass weddings, such as this one in 2022. Also pictured; Sheikh Ahmed bin Mohamed bin Rashed, Sheikh Saif bin Mohamed, Sheikh Tahnoon bin Mohamed, Ruler's Representative in Al Ain Region, Sheikh Hamdan bin Zayed, Ruler’s Representative in Al Dhafra Region, Sheikh Saeed bin Zayed, Abu Dhabi Ruler's Representative, Sheikh Hamdan bin Mansour bin Zayed at Qasr Al Hosn. Photo: Ministry of Presidential Affairs

At only 22, I would have appreciated being told what was really important. Being together, creating a partnership and ensuring a happy marriage. Debt makes them all much harder to achieve.

Arab hospitality is known to be one of the most generous in the world, but there are other ways to show generosity that don’t involve spending millions of dirhams and burdening your marriage.

Government initiatives

In a push to save young couples from entering into a life of debt, officials are suggesting other ways to celebrate the momentous occasion without depleting the bank account.

A few years ago, there was a push to serve only coffee and dates at the male ceremonies to cut down expenses and food waste. While it did reduce food waste, it did little to limit costs because the female parties only got bigger and grander.

Instead of paying a minimum of Dh150,000 for a wedding party – on top of the large feasts (where a lot of food ends up going to waste anyway) – why not host a smaller party with close friends and family?

One wedding instead of two would suffice, and guests do not need to be gifted luxury items. They are there to see you marry your partner.

You can spend thousands of dirhams on flowers or just a few hundred. Either way you will only see them for a few hours before they are disposed of.

With all the excitement about my wedding, I don’t remember being happy – I remember being stressed. The lasting memory is the food, some of which went to waste, and the money spent, which could have gone towards an investment for my children.

Guests leave with full bellies and fancy gifts, but the husband and wife spend years paying for a party that was only ever designed to impress others.

So today, when my young daughter tells me that she dreams of arriving at her wedding in a golden carriage pulled by four white horses, I remind her that fairy tales are not real. That night may be special, but for years thereafter you will be left with debts to pay.

“Wouldn’t you rather use money to buy a small house for yourself and your husband, Alyazia?” I ask her. “That way you can enjoy your marriage, without worrying about debt.”

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From: Dara

To: Team@

Date: March 25, 2019 at 11:45pm PT

Subj: Accelerating in the Middle East

Five years ago, Uber launched in the Middle East. It was the start of an incredible journey, with millions of riders and drivers finding new ways to move and work in a dynamic region that’s become so important to Uber. Now Pakistan is one of our fastest-growing markets in the world, women are driving with Uber across Saudi Arabia, and we chose Cairo to launch our first Uber Bus product late last year.

Today we are taking the next step in this journey—well, it’s more like a leap, and a big one: in a few minutes, we’ll announce that we’ve agreed to acquire Careem. Importantly, we intend to operate Careem independently, under the leadership of co-founder and current CEO Mudassir Sheikha. I’ve gotten to know both co-founders, Mudassir and Magnus Olsson, and what they have built is truly extraordinary. They are first-class entrepreneurs who share our platform vision and, like us, have launched a wide range of products—from digital payments to food delivery—to serve consumers.

I expect many of you will ask how we arrived at this structure, meaning allowing Careem to maintain an independent brand and operate separately. After careful consideration, we decided that this framework has the advantage of letting us build new products and try new ideas across not one, but two, strong brands, with strong operators within each. Over time, by integrating parts of our networks, we can operate more efficiently, achieve even lower wait times, expand new products like high-capacity vehicles and payments, and quicken the already remarkable pace of innovation in the region.

This acquisition is subject to regulatory approval in various countries, which we don’t expect before Q1 2020. Until then, nothing changes. And since both companies will continue to largely operate separately after the acquisition, very little will change in either teams’ day-to-day operations post-close. Today’s news is a testament to the incredible business our team has worked so hard to build.

It’s a great day for the Middle East, for the region’s thriving tech sector, for Careem, and for Uber.

Uber on,

Dara

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Updated: April 07, 2023, 9:16 AM`