The British are good at satire, probably because historically they have had plenty to be scathingly funny about. The 18th century was a golden age for this most bitter style of wit. The poetry of Alexander Pope or Gulliver’s Travels and other works by Jonathan Swift are in a humorous tradition that goes back at least to Roman times. Pope’s humour was gentle; Swift’s brutal. Swift once suggested (satirically) that the cure for Irish poverty was to eat babies. Nasty humour goes with very tough times.
In our more recent tough times, Britain in the 1960s and '70s, satire again bloomed. The UK was a once great nation, which famously had “lost an empire and failed to find a role”, and was seen as “the Sick Man of Europe". BBC TV invented the political satire That Was The Week That Was. The fortnightly satirical magazine Private Eye was founded in 1961 and mixed factual news with cartoons and amusing stories to deflate the pomposity of those in power. Nowadays Private Eye is experiencing a new boom. While daily newspapers have lost readers as people work from home, Private Eye’s circulation figures (June 2022) have bucked the trend, recently reaching almost 250,000 copies.
It’s easy to see why. British politics is filled with personalities who are easy to satirise. Some politicians almost satirise themselves. Making fun of those in power is a British tonic in increasingly hard times. With inflation skyrocketing, a cost-of-living crisis, war in Ukraine and the endless Brexit botch-up, we all need cheering up.
The former editor of Private Eye in the 1970s, Richard Ingrams, reputedly said that the prospect of Britain electing an incompetent prime minister appalled him as a British citizen, but as editor of a satirical magazine, he was quite encouraged.
Ingrams's successor, today, Ian Hislop, may also be horrified as a British citizen by the cast of oddball characters in British public life, but our political eccentrics are certainly good for his magazine business. There is the current (at least for the next few days) Prime Minister Boris Johnson, of course – a character possibly now beyond satire.
Then there are Mr Johnson’s putative successors, Rishi Sunak and Liz Truss, who are much loved by cartoonists and comedians. The next level of satirical targets, includes Culture Secretary Nadine Dorries, Home Secretary Priti Patel, Transport Secretary Grant Shapps, Jacob Rees-Mogg and many others. Their antics are so peculiar that if British people did not laugh, they would weep.
A government 'outwitted by badgers' is truly beyond satire
For example, Mr Rees-Mogg is both an MP and something called the “Brexit Opportunities Minister”. He is so bizarrely old-fashioned he is sometimes called the “Honourable Member for the 18th century”. Lacking any real ideas about Brexit “opportunities”, Mr Rees-Mogg appealed to readers of a tabloid newspaper, The Sun, asking if they have discovered “any petty old EU regulation that should be abolished”. Transport Secretary Mr Shapps suggested that bicycles should be forced to have number plates like cars, a suggestion so ludicrous it was immediately repudiated by the grown-ups in his own government department. He also said he would crack down on pointless announcements on trains – hardly the top priority of the British people. Culture Secretary Ms Dorries runs a department which covers sport, television, and theatre, a department sometimes called the “Ministry of Fun”. Her gaffes are too numerous to mention, but they include the idea that tennis is played on “tennis pitches”, and that people “downstream” movies.
Other recent government ministers have been mocked for offering a ferry contract to a company without ferries, and, in the case of an agriculture minister, masterminding a campaign against badgers spreading disease in cattle but conceding it had failed because the badgers “moved the goalposts”. A government “outwitted by badgers” is truly beyond satire.
Whether these real-life English political eccentrics make life easier for comedy writers or more difficult is, however, open to debate. Some satirists, including the film director Armando Iannucci, accept that it’s problematic competing with the activities of real politicians. And that brings us to our (almost certainly) new prime minister, the eminently satirise-able Liz Truss.
If she is confirmed as prime minister next month then, like the satire boom of the 1970s, Ms Truss will lead the UK at a time of extraordinary difficulty, when many voters are disillusioned with politics entirely. According to a February 2021 Commons Library Research Paper Political Disengagement in the UK: “The proportion of people who trusted the government to put the needs of the nation first decreased from 38 per cent in 1986 to 17 per cent in 2013. Trust in politicians has been fluctuating around 9 per cent.”
I am among the 91 per cent of distrustful British citizens. I don’t find the incompetence of the political elite amusing. Being prime minister should not be a comedy act. But I am also a faithful reader of satirical magazines. And British satire is nowadays of Olympic gold medal standard. Unfortunately good governance, for the foreseeable future, is not.
Tank warfare
Lt Gen Erik Petersen, deputy chief of programs, US Army, has argued it took a “three decade holiday” on modernising tanks.
“There clearly remains a significant armoured heavy ground manoeuvre threat in this world and maintaining a world class armoured force is absolutely vital,” the general said in London last week.
“We are developing next generation capabilities to compete with and deter adversaries to prevent opportunism or miscalculation, and, if necessary, defeat any foe decisively.”
What are the GCSE grade equivalents?
- Grade 9 = above an A*
- Grade 8 = between grades A* and A
- Grade 7 = grade A
- Grade 6 = just above a grade B
- Grade 5 = between grades B and C
- Grade 4 = grade C
- Grade 3 = between grades D and E
- Grade 2 = between grades E and F
- Grade 1 = between grades F and G
Brave CF 27 fight card
Welterweight:
Abdoul Abdouraguimov (champion, FRA) v Jarrah Al Selawe (JOR)
Lightweight:
Anas Siraj Mounir (TUN) v Alex Martinez (CAN)
Welterweight:
Mzwandile Hlongwa (RSA) v Khamzat Chimaev (SWE)
Middleweight:
Tarek Suleiman (SYR) v Rustam Chsiev (RUS)
Mohammad Fakhreddine (LEB) v Christofer Silva (BRA)
Super lightweight:
Alex Nacfur (BRA) v Dwight Brooks (USA)
Bantamweight:
Jalal Al Daaja (JOR) v Tariq Ismail (CAN)
Chris Corton (PHI) v Zia Mashwani (PAK)
Featherweight:
Sulaiman (KUW) v Abdullatip (RUS)
Super lightweight:
Flavio Serafin (BRA) v Mohammad Al Katib (JOR)
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
How to wear a kandura
Dos
- Wear the right fabric for the right season and occasion
- Always ask for the dress code if you don’t know
- Wear a white kandura, white ghutra / shemagh (headwear) and black shoes for work
- Wear 100 per cent cotton under the kandura as most fabrics are polyester
Don’ts
- Wear hamdania for work, always wear a ghutra and agal
- Buy a kandura only based on how it feels; ask questions about the fabric and understand what you are buying
The biog
DOB: March 13, 1987
Place of birth: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia but lived in Virginia in the US and raised in Lebanon
School: ACS in Lebanon
University: BSA in Graphic Design at the American University of Beirut
MSA in Design Entrepreneurship at the School of Visual Arts in New York City
Nationality: Lebanese
Status: Single
Favourite thing to do: I really enjoy cycling, I was a participant in Cycling for Gaza for the second time this year
What the law says
Micro-retirement is not a recognised concept or employment status under Federal Decree Law No. 33 of 2021 on the Regulation of Labour Relations (as amended) (UAE Labour Law). As such, it reflects a voluntary work-life balance practice, rather than a recognised legal employment category, according to Dilini Loku, senior associate for law firm Gateley Middle East.
“Some companies may offer formal sabbatical policies or career break programmes; however, beyond such arrangements, there is no automatic right or statutory entitlement to extended breaks,” she explains.
“Any leave taken beyond statutory entitlements, such as annual leave, is typically regarded as unpaid leave in accordance with Article 33 of the UAE Labour Law. While employees may legally take unpaid leave, such requests are subject to the employer’s discretion and require approval.”
If an employee resigns to pursue micro-retirement, the employment contract is terminated, and the employer is under no legal obligation to rehire the employee in the future unless specific contractual agreements are in place (such as return-to-work arrangements), which are generally uncommon, Ms Loku adds.
Company%20profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EHakbah%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2018%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounder%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENaif%20AbuSaida%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESaudi%20Arabia%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFinTech%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ECurrent%20number%20of%20staff%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E22%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInitial%20investment%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%24200%2C000%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20stage%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3Epre-Series%20A%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EGlobal%20Ventures%20and%20Aditum%20Investment%20Management%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Global Fungi Facts
• Scientists estimate there could be as many as 3 million fungal species globally
• Only about 160,000 have been officially described leaving around 90% undiscovered
• Fungi account for roughly 90% of Earth's unknown biodiversity
• Forest fungi help tackle climate change, absorbing up to 36% of global fossil fuel emissions annually and storing around 5 billion tonnes of carbon in the planet's topsoil
Things Heard & Seen
Directed by: Shari Springer Berman, Robert Pulcini
Starring: Amanda Seyfried, James Norton
2/5
More on Quran memorisation:
Keane on …
Liverpool’s Uefa Champions League bid: “They’re great. With the attacking force they have, for me, they’re certainly one of the favourites. You look at the teams left in it - they’re capable of scoring against anybody at any given time. Defensively they’ve been good, so I don’t see any reason why they couldn’t go on and win it.”
Mohamed Salah’s debut campaign at Anfield: “Unbelievable. He’s been phenomenal. You can name the front three, but for him on a personal level, he’s been unreal. He’s been great to watch and hopefully he can continue now until the end of the season - which I’m sure he will, because he’s been in fine form. He’s been incredible this season.”
Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s instant impact at former club LA Galaxy: “Brilliant. It’s been a great start for him and for the club. They were crying out for another big name there. They were lacking that, for the prestige of LA Galaxy. And now they have one of the finest stars. I hope they can go win something this year.”
'Top Gun: Maverick'
Rating: 4/5
Directed by: Joseph Kosinski
Starring: Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, Jennifer Connelly, Jon Hamm, Miles Teller, Glen Powell, Ed Harris
Jetour T1 specs
Engine: 2-litre turbocharged
Power: 254hp
Torque: 390Nm
Price: From Dh126,000
Available: Now
How to get there
Emirates (www.emirates.com) flies directly to Hanoi, Vietnam, with fares starting from around Dh2,725 return, while Etihad (www.etihad.com) fares cost about Dh2,213 return with a stop. Chuong is 25 kilometres south of Hanoi.
BIGGEST CYBER SECURITY INCIDENTS IN RECENT TIMES
SolarWinds supply chain attack: Came to light in December 2020 but had taken root for several months, compromising major tech companies, governments and its entities
Microsoft Exchange server exploitation: March 2021; attackers used a vulnerability to steal emails
Kaseya attack: July 2021; ransomware hit perpetrated REvil, resulting in severe downtime for more than 1,000 companies
Log4j breach: December 2021; attackers exploited the Java-written code to inflitrate businesses and governments
More from Armen Sarkissian
UAE%20medallists%20at%20Asian%20Games%202023
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EGold%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EMagomedomar%20Magomedomarov%20%E2%80%93%20Judo%20%E2%80%93%20Men%E2%80%99s%20%2B100kg%0D%3Cbr%3EKhaled%20Al%20Shehi%20%E2%80%93%20Jiu-jitsu%20%E2%80%93%20Men%E2%80%99s%20-62kg%0D%3Cbr%3EFaisal%20Al%20Ketbi%20%E2%80%93%20Jiu-jitsu%20%E2%80%93%20Men%E2%80%99s%20-85kg%0D%3Cbr%3EAsma%20Al%20Hosani%20%E2%80%93%20Jiu-jitsu%20%E2%80%93%20Women%E2%80%99s%20-52kg%0D%3Cbr%3EShamma%20Al%20Kalbani%20%E2%80%93%20Jiu-jitsu%20%E2%80%93%20Women%E2%80%99s%20-63kg%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESilver%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EOmar%20Al%20Marzooqi%20%E2%80%93%20Equestrian%20%E2%80%93%20Individual%20showjumping%0D%3Cbr%3EBishrelt%20Khorloodoi%20%E2%80%93%20Judo%20%E2%80%93%20Women%E2%80%99s%20-52kg%0D%3Cbr%3EKhalid%20Al%20Blooshi%20%E2%80%93%20Jiu-jitsu%20%E2%80%93%20Men%E2%80%99s%20-62kg%0D%3Cbr%3EMohamed%20Al%20Suwaidi%20%E2%80%93%20Jiu-jitsu%20%E2%80%93%20Men%E2%80%99s%20-69kg%0D%3Cbr%3EBalqees%20Abdulla%20%E2%80%93%20Jiu-jitsu%20%E2%80%93%20Women%E2%80%99s%20-48kg%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBronze%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EHawraa%20Alajmi%20%E2%80%93%20Karate%20%E2%80%93%20Women%E2%80%99s%20kumite%20-50kg%0D%3Cbr%3EAhmed%20Al%20Mansoori%20%E2%80%93%20Cycling%20%E2%80%93%20Men%E2%80%99s%20omnium%0D%3Cbr%3EAbdullah%20Al%20Marri%20%E2%80%93%20Equestrian%20%E2%80%93%20Individual%20showjumping%0D%3Cbr%3ETeam%20UAE%20%E2%80%93%20Equestrian%20%E2%80%93%20Team%20showjumping%0D%3Cbr%3EDzhafar%20Kostoev%20%E2%80%93%20Judo%20%E2%80%93%20Men%E2%80%99s%20-100kg%0D%3Cbr%3ENarmandakh%20Bayanmunkh%20%E2%80%93%20Judo%20%E2%80%93%20Men%E2%80%99s%20-66kg%0D%3Cbr%3EGrigorian%20Aram%20%E2%80%93%20Judo%20%E2%80%93%20Men%E2%80%99s%20-90kg%0D%3Cbr%3EMahdi%20Al%20Awlaqi%20%E2%80%93%20Jiu-jitsu%20%E2%80%93%20Men%E2%80%99s%20-77kg%0D%3Cbr%3ESaeed%20Al%20Kubaisi%20%E2%80%93%20Jiu-jitsu%20%E2%80%93%20Men%E2%80%99s%20-85kg%0D%3Cbr%3EShamsa%20Al%20Ameri%20%E2%80%93%20Jiu-jitsu%20%E2%80%93%20Women%E2%80%99s%20-57kg%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
OPTA'S PREDICTED TABLE
1. Liverpool 101 points
2. Manchester City 80
3. Leicester 67
4. Chelsea 63
5. Manchester United 61
6. Tottenham 58
7. Wolves 56
8. Arsenal 56
9. Sheffield United 55
10. Everton 50
11. Burnley 49
12. Crystal Palace 49
13. Newcastle 46
14. Southampton 44
15. West Ham 39
16. Brighton 37
17. Watford 36
18. Bournemouth 36
19. Aston Villa 32
20. Norwich City 29
Dust and sand storms compared
Sand storm
- Particle size: Larger, heavier sand grains
- Visibility: Often dramatic with thick "walls" of sand
- Duration: Short-lived, typically localised
- Travel distance: Limited
- Source: Open desert areas with strong winds
Dust storm
- Particle size: Much finer, lightweight particles
- Visibility: Hazy skies but less intense
- Duration: Can linger for days
- Travel distance: Long-range, up to thousands of kilometres
- Source: Can be carried from distant regions
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Some of Darwish's last words
"They see their tomorrows slipping out of their reach. And though it seems to them that everything outside this reality is heaven, yet they do not want to go to that heaven. They stay, because they are afflicted with hope." - Mahmoud Darwish, to attendees of the Palestine Festival of Literature, 2008
His life in brief: Born in a village near Galilee, he lived in exile for most of his life and started writing poetry after high school. He was arrested several times by Israel for what were deemed to be inciteful poems. Most of his work focused on the love and yearning for his homeland, and he was regarded the Palestinian poet of resistance. Over the course of his life, he published more than 30 poetry collections and books of prose, with his work translated into more than 20 languages. Many of his poems were set to music by Arab composers, most significantly Marcel Khalife. Darwish died on August 9, 2008 after undergoing heart surgery in the United States. He was later buried in Ramallah where a shrine was erected in his honour.
Ireland v Denmark: The last two years
Denmark 1-1 Ireland
7/06/19, Euro 2020 qualifier
Denmark 0-0 Ireland
19/11/2018, Nations League
Ireland 0-0 Denmark
13/10/2018, Nations League
Ireland 1 Denmark 5
14/11/2017, World Cup qualifier
Denmark 0-0 Ireland
11/11/2017, World Cup qualifier
McLaren GT specs
Engine: 4-litre twin-turbo V8
Transmission: seven-speed
Power: 620bhp
Torque: 630Nm
Price: Dh875,000
On sale: now
MATCH INFO
Barcelona 5 (Lenglet 2', Vidal 29', Messi 34', 75', Suarez 77')
Valladolid 1 (Kiko 15')
Banned items
Dubai Police has also issued a list of banned items at the ground on Sunday. These include:
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Political flags or banners
-
Bikes, skateboards or scooters
The specs: 2018 Nissan Altima
Price, base / as tested: Dh78,000 / Dh97,650
Engine: 2.5-litre in-line four-cylinder
Power: 182hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 244Nm @ 4,000rpm
Transmission: Continuously variable tranmission
Fuel consumption, combined: 7.6L / 100km
The biog
Nickname: Mama Nadia to children, staff and parents
Education: Bachelors degree in English Literature with Social work from UAE University
As a child: Kept sweets on the window sill for workers, set aside money to pay for education of needy families
Holidays: Spends most of her days off at Senses often with her family who describe the centre as part of their life too
Student Of The Year 2
Director: Punit Malhotra
Stars: Tiger Shroff, Tara Sutaria, Ananya Pandey, Aditya Seal
1.5 stars
Company profile
Date started: January, 2014
Founders: Mike Dawson, Varuna Singh, and Benita Rowe
Based: Dubai
Sector: Education technology
Size: Five employees
Investment: $100,000 from the ExpoLive Innovation Grant programme in 2018 and an initial $30,000 pre-seed investment from the Turn8 Accelerator in 2014. Most of the projects are government funded.
Partners/incubators: Turn8 Accelerator; In5 Innovation Centre; Expo Live Innovation Impact Grant Programme; Dubai Future Accelerators; FHI 360; VSO and Consult and Coach for a Cause (C3)
SERIES INFO
Cricket World Cup League Two
Nepal, Oman, United States tri-series
Tribhuvan University, Kathmandu
Fixtures
Wednesday February 5, Oman v Nepal
Thursday, February 6, Oman v United States
Saturday, February 8, United States v Nepal
Sunday, February 9, Oman v Nepal
Tuesday, February 11, Oman v United States
Wednesday, February 12, United States v Nepal
Table
The top three sides advance to the 2022 World Cup Qualifier.
The bottom four sides are relegated to the 2022 World Cup playoff
1 United States 8 6 2 0 0 12 0.412
2 Scotland 8 4 3 0 1 9 0.139
3 Namibia 7 4 3 0 0 8 0.008
4 Oman 6 4 2 0 0 8 -0.139
5 UAE 7 3 3 0 1 7 -0.004
6 Nepal 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 PNG 8 0 8 0 0 0 -0.458
AUSTRALIA SQUADS
ODI squad: Aaron Finch (captain), Ashton Agar, Alex Carey, Pat Cummins, Josh Hazlewood, Marnus Labuschagne, Mitchell Marsh, Glenn Maxwell, Kane Richardson, Steve Smith, Mitchell Starc, Matthew Wade, David Warner, Adam Zampa
Twenty20 squad: Aaron Finch (captain), Sean Abbott, Ashton Agar, Alex Carey, Pat Cummins, Mitchell Marsh, Glenn Maxwell, Jhye Richardson, Kane Richardson, Steve Smith, Mitchell Starc, Matthew Wade, David Warner, Adam Zampa
