How often have we read on social media or heard “positive thinkers” say that “disability is in the mind”, or that there are no obstacles that can’t be turned into opportunities; that everything can be achieved with the right attitude?
In the era of influencers and life coaches, positivity seems like the gateway to a celebrity-like status, regardless of the effects such constant references can have on some people.
This approach of "good vibes-only" can cause more harm than good. "You are so brave” and “you are such an inspiration” are just some of the sentences that disabled people often endure, sometimes on a daily basis.
Dr Shahd Al Shammari, a Kuwaiti lecturer and author, has done research on human and women's rights and disability issues. Having multiple sclerosis herself, she describes toxic positivity as "when it erases real experiences of pain".
I wonder how many people talking about positivity have experienced going into a venue and being turned away because the lift was not working, or the receptionist made a mistake in declaring the place accessible by not factoring in that even two not-very-high steps are a hindrance. No amount of "right attitude" or "determination" will allow people on wheelchairs to enter a theatre or a movie without ramps. And the onus to build them is not on the disabled community but on the societies that we are a part of.
For the more than one billion people with disabilities – who make up 15 per cent of the world's population – concepts such as freedom and equality are far from reality. Studies have shown that symptoms of depression may be two to 10 times more common among those with disabilities or chronic illnesses, and depression is one of the most common “secondary conditions” associated with disability and chronic illness.
Some of these issues have been abated by social media. For the disabled community, it has been a game changer. Like so many people, I am a big fan of social media because it is a tool that has enabled us not to connect with the wider world and given us the chance to raise awareness about many of the issues we grapple with. Yet, I along with many other disabled people detest the forced positivity that it can sometimes portray.
A few influencers who are also part of the disabled community choose to show only the "good side" of their existence. It is common to see social media posts that talk of "defying disability". Often one sees so-called inspirational quotes such as "there is only ability in disability" or "disability doesn't define me", which actually encourage people to distance themselves from their disability that is a big part of our identity. This dismisses the struggles that come with being disabled because, after all, few seek to hear the truth – or in the words of these influencers, "negative vibes". They forget that disability is not the enemy but part of who we are, and that we need to embrace it to progress, not defy it.
The influencers behind some of this "positivity" movement travel the world, driving, skiing, skydiving and abseiling. To be sure, it is commendable that they attempt to defy obstacles. But in urging others to do the same, it can feel callous, as they seem to not recognise that each person has different circumstances, a different disability, different financial capabilities, and so on.
As a consequence, thoughts such as "the problem must be me" tend to arise and before you know it, family, friends and even strangers will see it fit to say: "Oh if so and so can do this, why cant you? You are just being defeatist."
A disabled blogger I spoke to sees toxic positivity as "when others [or even we, ourselves] casually disregard our genuine struggles and challenges rather than acknowledging and accepting them – for example, saying or thinking that 'others have it worse'".
Positivity can turn toxic when pushed as the sole state of mind that should rise above all others. But the human experience grapples with a whole spectrum of emotions, thoughts and feelings. To validate only the positive ones is to limit the way we look at the world.
Carl Jung, the psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, described recognising, accepting and making peace with the darkness inside each of us as the only path to healing, to authenticity and to wholeness.
However, people want to escape pain, awkwardness and difficult situations. It is understandable. A disabled law student, who did not want to be named, sees toxic positivity as when it doesn't respond to the feelings of the other person or the actual situation.
I have lost count of the number of times I have been told that I am "brave" for daring to go out grocery shopping. Or that I am "inspirational" for smiling despite everything that I "have to endure", or being patted on the head and told: "You’re very independent, aren’t you?" – for simply completing an education and getting a job, as so many regular people do.
I realise that most of the time these words come from a good place. But such statements can lack sincerity, as people dismiss the obstacles and usually end their conversation with "I will pray that you are able to walk". I end up wishing that, instead of praying for me, they would pray for society to change, to be more inclusive and accepting. Or better yet, begin to enforce that change themselves.
Dismissing a person's very real struggle in the name of positivity is harmful to the people it is intended to help and to cheer up. Positivity cannot be forced. Like every aspect of life, if we don’t find the right balance, even something good and well-intentioned can cause damage.
Europe's top EV producers
- Norway (63% of cars registered in 2021)
- Iceland (33%)
- Netherlands (20%)
- Sweden (19%)
- Austria (14%)
- Germany (14%)
- Denmark (13%)
- Switzerland (13%)
- United Kingdom (12%)
- Luxembourg (10%)
Source: VCOe
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Defence review at a glance
• Increase defence spending to 2.5% of GDP by 2027 but given “turbulent times it may be necessary to go faster”
• Prioritise a shift towards working with AI and autonomous systems
• Invest in the resilience of military space systems.
• Number of active reserves should be increased by 20%
• More F-35 fighter jets required in the next decade
• New “hybrid Navy” with AUKUS submarines and autonomous vessels
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SM Town Live is on Friday, April 6 at Autism Rocks Arena, Dubai. Tickets are Dh375 at www.platinumlist.net
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Stars: Vahid Mobasseri, Mariam Afshari, Ebrahim Azizi, Hadis Pakbaten, Majid Panahi, Mohamad Ali Elyasmehr
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The internal combustion engine is facing a watershed moment – major manufacturer Volvo is to stop producing petroleum-powered vehicles by 2021 and countries in Europe, including the UK, have vowed to ban their sale before 2040. The National takes a look at the story of one of the most successful technologies of the last 100 years and how it has impacted life in the UAE.
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Kohli (c), Dhawan, Rahul, Shaw, Pujara, Rahane (vc), Karun, Karthik (wk), Pant (wk), Ashwin, Jadeja, Pandya, Ishant, Shami, Umesh, Bumrah, Thakur, Vihari
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Series information
Pakistan v Dubai
First Test, Dubai International Stadium
Sun Oct 6 to Thu Oct 11
Second Test, Zayed Stadium, Abu Dhabi
Tue Oct 16 to Sat Oct 20
Play starts at 10am each day
Teams
Pakistan
1 Mohammed Hafeez, 2 Imam-ul-Haq, 3 Azhar Ali, 4 Asad Shafiq, 5 Haris Sohail, 6 Babar Azam, 7 Sarfraz Ahmed, 8 Bilal Asif, 9 Yasir Shah, 10, Mohammed Abbas, 11 Wahab Riaz or Mir Hamza
Australia
1 Usman Khawaja, 2 Aaron Finch, 3 Shaun Marsh, 4 Mitchell Marsh, 5 Travis Head, 6 Marnus Labuschagne, 7 Tim Paine, 8 Mitchell Starc, 9 Peter Siddle, 10 Nathan Lyon, 11 Jon Holland
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Explained
Jetour T1 specs
Engine: 2-litre turbocharged
Power: 254hp
Torque: 390Nm
Price: From Dh126,000
Available: Now
TRAP
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Saleka Shyamalan, Ariel Donaghue
Director: M Night Shyamalan
Rating: 3/5
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Damien McElroy: Anti-science attitudes in America are proving lethal
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4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
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Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
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- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
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NO OTHER LAND
Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal
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Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
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10 tips for entry-level job seekers
- Have an up-to-date, professional LinkedIn profile. If you don’t have a LinkedIn account, set one up today. Avoid poor-quality profile pictures with distracting backgrounds. Include a professional summary and begin to grow your network.
- Keep track of the job trends in your sector through the news. Apply for job alerts at your dream organisations and the types of jobs you want – LinkedIn uses AI to share similar relevant jobs based on your selections.
- Double check that you’ve highlighted relevant skills on your resume and LinkedIn profile.
- For most entry-level jobs, your resume will first be filtered by an applicant tracking system for keywords. Look closely at the description of the job you are applying for and mirror the language as much as possible (while being honest and accurate about your skills and experience).
- Keep your CV professional and in a simple format – make sure you tailor your cover letter and application to the company and role.
- Go online and look for details on job specifications for your target position. Make a list of skills required and set yourself some learning goals to tick off all the necessary skills one by one.
- Don’t be afraid to reach outside your immediate friends and family to other acquaintances and let them know you are looking for new opportunities.
- Make sure you’ve set your LinkedIn profile to signal that you are “open to opportunities”. Also be sure to use LinkedIn to search for people who are still actively hiring by searching for those that have the headline “I’m hiring” or “We’re hiring” in their profile.
- Prepare for online interviews using mock interview tools. Even before landing interviews, it can be useful to start practising.
- Be professional and patient. Always be professional with whoever you are interacting with throughout your search process, this will be remembered. You need to be patient, dedicated and not give up on your search. Candidates need to make sure they are following up appropriately for roles they have applied.
Arda Atalay, head of Mena private sector at LinkedIn Talent Solutions, Rudy Bier, managing partner of Kinetic Business Solutions and Ben Kinerman Daltrey, co-founder of KinFitz
Electoral College Victory
Trump has so far secured 295 Electoral College votes, according to the Associated Press, exceeding the 270 needed to win. Only Nevada and Arizona remain to be called, and both swing states are leaning Republican. Trump swept all five remaining swing states, North Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, sealing his path to victory and giving him a strong mandate.
Popular Vote Tally
The count is ongoing, but Trump currently leads with nearly 51 per cent of the popular vote to Harris’s 47.6 per cent. Trump has over 72.2 million votes, while Harris trails with approximately 67.4 million.
Transgender report
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Analysis
Maros Sefcovic is juggling multiple international trade agreement files, but his message was clear when he spoke to The National on Wednesday.
The EU-UAE bilateral trade deal will be finalised soon, he said. It is in everyone’s interests to do so. Both sides want to move quickly and are in alignment. He said the UAE is a very important partner for the EU. It’s full speed ahead - and with some lofty ambitions - on the road to a free trade agreement.
We also talked about US-EU tariffs. He answered that both sides need to talk more and more often, but he is prepared to defend Europe's position and said diplomacy should be a guiding principle through the current moment.
ESSENTIALS
The flights
Emirates, Etihad and Swiss fly direct from the UAE to Zurich from Dh2,855 return, including taxes.
The chalet
Chalet N is currently open in winter only, between now and April 21. During the ski season, starting on December 11, a week’s rental costs from €210,000 (Dh898,431) per week for the whole property, which has 22 beds in total, across six suites, three double rooms and a children’s suite. The price includes all scheduled meals, a week’s ski pass, Wi-Fi, parking, transfers between Munich, Innsbruck or Zurich airports and one 50-minute massage per person. Private ski lessons cost from €360 (Dh1,541) per day. Halal food is available on request.
Kareem Shaheen on Canada
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• Remittance charges will be tackled by blockchain
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• Could the UAE drive India's economy?
• News has a bright future and the UAE is at the heart of it
• Architecture is over - here's cybertecture
• The National announces Future of News journalism competition
• Round up: Experts share their visions of the world to come
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Cricket World Cup League 2
UAE squad
Rahul Chopra (captain), Aayan Afzal Khan, Ali Naseer, Aryansh Sharma, Basil Hameed, Dhruv Parashar, Junaid Siddique, Muhammad Farooq, Muhammad Jawadullah, Muhammad Waseem, Omid Rahman, Rahul Bhatia, Tanish Suri, Vishnu Sukumaran, Vriitya Aravind
Fixtures
Friday, November 1 – Oman v UAE
Sunday, November 3 – UAE v Netherlands
Thursday, November 7 – UAE v Oman
Saturday, November 9 – Netherlands v UAE
• Remittance charges will be tackled by blockchain
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The national orchestra
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MOUNTAINHEAD REVIEW
Starring: Ramy Youssef, Steve Carell, Jason Schwartzman
Director: Jesse Armstrong
Rating: 3.5/5
Mina Al-Oraibi: Iraq is in a fight to show its people who is really in charge
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Washmen Profile
Date Started: May 2015
Founders: Rami Shaar and Jad Halaoui
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Laundry
Employees: 170
Funding: about $8m
Funders: Addventure, B&Y Partners, Clara Ventures, Cedar Mundi Partners, Henkel Ventures
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Jamie Prentis: Greece blasts Turkey’s 'irrational' regional actions
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Jebel Ali card
1.45pm: Maiden Dh75,000 1,400m
2.15pm: Handicap Dh90,000 1,400m
2.45pm: Maiden Dh75,000 1,000m
3.15pm: Handicap Dh105,000 1,200m
3.45pm: Maiden Dh75,000 1,600m
4.15pm: Handicap Dh105,000 1,600m
4.45pm: Handicap Dh80,000 1,800m
The National selections
1.45pm: Cosmic Glow
2.15pm: Karaginsky
2.45pm: Welcome Surprise
3.15pm: Taamol
3.45pm: Rayig
4.15pm: Chiefdom
4.45pm: California Jumbo
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Mina Al Oraibi: Air strike casts a long shadow over the decade ahead
Jack Moore: Why the assassination is such a monumental gamble
Matthew Levitt: Iran retains its ability to launch terror attacks
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Simon Waldman: Cautious Israel keeping a low profile
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Director: Ali Abbasi
Starring: Sebastian Stan, Maria Bakalova, Jeremy Strong
Rating: 3/5
Lewis Hamilton in 2018
Australia 2nd; Bahrain 3rd; China 4th; Azerbaijan 1st; Spain 1st; Monaco 3rd; Canada 5th; France 1st; Austria DNF; Britain 2nd; Germany 1st; Hungary 1st; Belgium 2nd; Italy 1st; Singapore 1st; Russia 1st; Japan 1st; United States 3rd; Mexico 4th
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If you go
The flights Etihad (www.etihad.com) and Spice Jet (www.spicejet.com) fly direct from Abu Dhabi and Dubai to Pune respectively from Dh1,000 return including taxes. Pune airport is 90 minutes away by road.
The hotels A stay at Atmantan Wellness Resort (www.atmantan.com) costs from Rs24,000 (Dh1,235) per night, including taxes, consultations, meals and a treatment package.
Three ways to limit your social media use
Clinical psychologist, Dr Saliha Afridi at The Lighthouse Arabia suggests three easy things you can do every day to cut back on the time you spend online.
1. Put the social media app in a folder on the second or third screen of your phone so it has to remain a conscious decision to open, rather than something your fingers gravitate towards without consideration.
2. Schedule a time to use social media instead of consistently throughout the day. I recommend setting aside certain times of the day or week when you upload pictures or share information.
3. Take a mental snapshot rather than a photo on your phone. Instead of sharing it with your social world, try to absorb the moment, connect with your feeling, experience the moment with all five of your senses. You will have a memory of that moment more vividly and for far longer than if you take a picture of it.
