British politics is no laughing matter, except that if we did not laugh then the entire nation could be reduced to tears. The antics of Boris Johnson’s government are so ridiculous now they resemble the Ealing comedies of the 1950s, low budget films in which incompetent people did silly things. The Boris Johnson Years comedy may be in its last act but the gaffes and distractions have become seriously damaging. They are no longer amusing.
One distraction is Mr Johnson’s insistence that he is building “Global Britain”. Since Britain has been a global power from its creation in 1603, this is a desperate boast. The truth is that the Johnson Years “Global Britain” will be remembered for a botched Brexit, a botched withdrawal from Afghanistan, in which dogs were airlifted out and Afghans abandoned, and an arrogant style that has offended our closest neighbours in Ireland, France, most of the EU, plus – as we have noted – in different ways, Russia, Iran, China, the Biden administration in Washington and developing countries, who were once promised more British aid. That aid has been cut.
Now an even more peculiar distraction has emerged. Five Johnson advisers have quit Downing Street. This may signal the beginning of the end of The Johnson Years comedy, but it comes as his government launched, what he claims to be, his most important domestic policy. The catchy slogan is “Levelling Up”, a long-overdue attempt after 12 years of Conservative governments to do something about poverty. The target is towns, especially in the north and midlands of England, where people feel “left behind”.
Since no new money is involved, this worthy objective may prove to be just another slogan in search of a policy, although the co-author of the strategy, Andy Haldane, does not lack ambition. He compared the Johnson promise to transform cities such as Wolverhampton, Middlesborough and Bradford to the success of Florence during the Italian Renaissance. Haldane explained that Florence had a “secret sauce” of economic success in a period famous for the city playing host to Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, Botticelli, Boccaccio and Brunelleschi. Well, maybe.
People in British public life can survive being disliked, even loathed. They cannot survive being ridiculed
But when I visited Bradford a few months ago, I was told very firmly that what residents really wanted wasn’t a “secret sauce”, but a real life better train service. The only comparison with the Italian Renaissance is that Westminster these days is like the faction fighting between the Borgias and Medicis, or Shakespeare’s Montagues and Capulets.
The feuds and ambitions of those around Boris Johnson to succeed him are taking up a lot of space in British newspapers. Will it be the Foreign Secretary Liz Truss? She enlivened the British political comedy of the past few days by suggesting that reinforcing Nato troops in the Baltic meant sending soldiers through the Black Sea. The Black Sea is 700 miles to the south of the Baltic. The Russian foreign ministry ridiculed Ms Truss. Mr Johnson’s potential successors publicly remain mostly loyal while privately plotting, yet, for the first time I can recall ever in British political history, serious newspapers now repeatedly call the prime minister of our country a serial liar. The left-of-centre Guardian published “The Truth-o-meter” asking “How many lies has Boris Johnson told this week?” It showed pictures of the prime minister with the elongated liar’s nose of Pinocchio, the fictional character from a children's novel.
Mr Johnson himself has added to the British political comedy by making speeches alluding to or quoting not Shakespeare, Churchill or Disraeli but Kermit the Frog, The Lion King and Peppa Pig. I am not making this up.
An ally of Mr Johnson excuses his behaviour in attending parties forbidden by his own coronavirus lockdown rules by saying Mr Johnson was “ambushed by cake”. And one of Johnson’s defenders from the right-of-centre Daily Telegraph newspaper told a TV audience that he liked Mr Johnson because he was similar to the “con man” played by George Clooney in Oceans Eleven, and it would be exciting to see what “con” the prime minister attempted next. (I don’t think so).
The Westminster political script includes too many other examples of this comedic business, but the serious point is that people in British public life can survive being disliked, even loathed. They cannot survive being ridiculed. Margaret Thatcher was hated, quite literally, by some British people for her tough line against trade unions, notably striking coal miners and Irish republican terrorists. Tony Blair’s part in the invasion of Iraq led to street demonstrations of hundreds of thousands of protesters, and some still speak very harshly of him. Even so, the former British prime ministers were never laughed at, and generally respected even by those who disliked their policies. Boris Johnson is different.
Once upon a time, some liked his wit and humour. Now the joke is old and the comedy stale. If some kind of British Renaissance is possible, then renewal can only happen when the old order – or in this case, the Johnson dis-order – is swept away. I’m not joking.
The National's picks
4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Anxiety and work stress major factors
Anxiety, work stress and social isolation are all factors in the recogised rise in mental health problems.
A study UAE Ministry of Health researchers published in the summer also cited struggles with weight and illnesses as major contributors.
Its authors analysed a dozen separate UAE studies between 2007 and 2017. Prevalence was often higher in university students, women and in people on low incomes.
One showed 28 per cent of female students at a Dubai university reported symptoms linked to depression. Another in Al Ain found 22.2 per cent of students had depressive symptoms - five times the global average.
It said the country has made strides to address mental health problems but said: “Our review highlights the overall prevalence of depressive symptoms and depression, which may long have been overlooked."
Prof Samir Al Adawi, of the department of behavioural medicine at Sultan Qaboos University in Oman, who was not involved in the study but is a recognised expert in the Gulf, said how mental health is discussed varies significantly between cultures and nationalities.
“The problem we have in the Gulf is the cross-cultural differences and how people articulate emotional distress," said Prof Al Adawi.
“Someone will say that I have physical complaints rather than emotional complaints. This is the major problem with any discussion around depression."
Daniel Bardsley
Infiniti QX80 specs
Engine: twin-turbocharged 3.5-liter V6
Power: 450hp
Torque: 700Nm
Price: From Dh450,000, Autograph model from Dh510,000
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SANCTIONED
- Kirill Shamalov, Russia's youngest billionaire and previously married to Putin's daughter Katarina
- Petr Fradkov, head of recently sanctioned Promsvyazbank and son of former head of Russian Foreign Intelligence, the FSB.
- Denis Bortnikov, Deputy President of Russia's largest bank VTB. He is the son of Alexander Bortnikov, head of the FSB which was responsible for the poisoning of political activist Alexey Navalny in August 2020 with banned chemical agent novichok.
- Yury Slyusar, director of United Aircraft Corporation, a major aircraft manufacturer for the Russian military.
- Elena Aleksandrovna Georgieva, chair of the board of Novikombank, a state-owned defence conglomerate.
Recent winners
2002 Giselle Khoury (Colombia)
2004 Nathalie Nasralla (France)
2005 Catherine Abboud (Oceania)
2007 Grace Bijjani (Mexico)
2008 Carina El-Keddissi (Brazil)
2009 Sara Mansour (Brazil)
2010 Daniella Rahme (Australia)
2011 Maria Farah (Canada)
2012 Cynthia Moukarzel (Kuwait)
2013 Layla Yarak (Australia)
2014 Lia Saad (UAE)
2015 Cynthia Farah (Australia)
2016 Yosmely Massaad (Venezuela)
2017 Dima Safi (Ivory Coast)
2018 Rachel Younan (Australia)
Specs
Engine: Electric motor generating 54.2kWh (Cooper SE and Aceman SE), 64.6kW (Countryman All4 SE)
Power: 218hp (Cooper and Aceman), 313hp (Countryman)
Torque: 330Nm (Cooper and Aceman), 494Nm (Countryman)
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Specs
Engine: Duel electric motors
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Price: On request
EPL's youngest
- Ethan Nwaneri (Arsenal)
15 years, 181 days old
- Max Dowman (Arsenal)
15 years, 235 days old
- Jeremy Monga (Leicester)
15 years, 271 days old
- Harvey Elliott (Fulham)
16 years, 30 days old
- Matthew Briggs (Fulham)
16 years, 68 days old
Why are asylum seekers being housed in hotels?
The number of asylum applications in the UK has reached a new record high, driven by those illegally entering the country in small boats crossing the English Channel.
A total of 111,084 people applied for asylum in the UK in the year to June 2025, the highest number for any 12-month period since current records began in 2001.
Asylum seekers and their families can be housed in temporary accommodation while their claim is assessed.
The Home Office provides the accommodation, meaning asylum seekers cannot choose where they live.
When there is not enough housing, the Home Office can move people to hotels or large sites like former military bases.
UAE v United States, T20 International Series
Both matches at ICC Academy, Dubai. Admission is free.
1st match: Friday, 2pm
2nd match: Saturday, 2pm
UAE squad: Mohammed Naveed (captain), Rohan Mustafa, Ashfaq Ahmed, Shaiman Anwar, Rameez Shahzad, Amjad Gul, CP Rizwan, Mohammed Boota, Abdul Shakoor, Ahmed Raza, Imran Haider, Sultan Ahmed, Zahoor Khan, Amir Hayat
USA squad: Saurabh Netravalkar (captain), Jaskaran Malhotra, Elmore Hutchinson, Aaron Jones, Nosthush Kenjige, Ali Khan, Jannisar Khan, Xavier Marshall, Monank Patel, Timil Patel, Roy Silva, Jessy Singh, Steven Taylor, Hayden Walsh
The specs
- Engine: 3.9-litre twin-turbo V8
- Power: 640hp
- Torque: 760nm
- On sale: 2026
- Price: Not announced yet
Specs
Engine: Dual-motor all-wheel-drive electric
Range: Up to 610km
Power: 905hp
Torque: 985Nm
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The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre flat-six
Torque: 450Nm at 6,100rpm
Transmission: 7-speed PDK auto or 6-speed manual
Fuel economy, combined: 13.8L/100km
On sale: Available to order now
Results
6.30pm: Maiden Dh165,000 (Dirt) 1,600m
Winner: Celtic Prince, David Liska (jockey), Rashed Bouresly (trainer).
7.05pm: Conditions Dh240,000 (D) 1,600m
Winner: Commanding, Richard Mullen, Satish Seemar.
7.40pm: Handicap Dh190,000 (D) 2,000m
Winner: Grand Argentier, Pat Dobbs, Doug Watson.
8.15pm: Handicap Dh170,000 (D) 2,200m
Winner: Arch Gold, Sam Hitchcott, Doug Watson.
8.50pm: The Entisar Listed Dh265,000 (D) 2,000m
Winner: Military Law, Antonio Fresu, Musabah Al Muhairi.
9.25pm: The Garhoud Sprint Listed Dh265,000 (D) 1,200m
Winner: Ibn Malik, Dane O’Neill, Musabah Al Muhairi.
10pm: Handicap Dh185,000 (D) 1,400m
Winner: Midnight Sands, Pat Dobbs, Doug Watson.
Gulf rugby
Who’s won what so far in 2018/19
Western Clubs Champions League: Bahrain
Dubai Rugby Sevens: Dubai Hurricanes
West Asia Premiership: Bahrain
What’s left
UAE Conference
March 22, play-offs:
Dubai Hurricanes II v Al Ain Amblers, Jebel Ali Dragons II v Dubai Tigers
March 29, final
UAE Premiership
March 22, play-offs:
Dubai Exiles v Jebel Ali Dragons, Abu Dhabi Harlequins v Dubai Hurricanes
March 29, final
Dhadak
Director: Shashank Khaitan
Starring: Janhvi Kapoor, Ishaan Khattar, Ashutosh Rana
Stars: 3
The five pillars of Islam
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
The biog
Alwyn Stephen says much of his success is a result of taking an educated chance on business decisions.
His advice to anyone starting out in business is to have no fear as life is about taking on challenges.
“If you have the ambition and dream of something, follow that dream, be positive, determined and set goals.
"Nothing and no-one can stop you from succeeding with the right work application, and a little bit of luck along the way.”
Mr Stephen sells his luxury fragrances at selected perfumeries around the UAE, including the House of Niche Boutique in Al Seef.
He relaxes by spending time with his family at home, and enjoying his wife’s India cooking.
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Pharaoh's curse
British aristocrat Lord Carnarvon, who funded the expedition to find the Tutankhamun tomb, died in a Cairo hotel four months after the crypt was opened.
He had been in poor health for many years after a car crash, and a mosquito bite made worse by a shaving cut led to blood poisoning and pneumonia.
Reports at the time said Lord Carnarvon suffered from “pain as the inflammation affected the nasal passages and eyes”.
Decades later, scientists contended he had died of aspergillosis after inhaling spores of the fungus aspergillus in the tomb, which can lie dormant for months. The fact several others who entered were also found dead withiin a short time led to the myth of the curse.
Our legal consultant
Name: Dr Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champioons League semi-final:
First leg: Liverpool 5 Roma 2
Second leg: Wednesday, May 2, Stadio Olimpico, Rome
TV: BeIN Sports, 10.45pm (UAE)
