Movie stars and aristocrats, goes the saying, are just like you and me. They all put their trousers on one leg at a time.
That may be true - I've never been close enough to either to get a good look - but one thing is certain: if there was a more expensive way to get those trousers on, celebrities and aristocrats would be doing it.
Not long ago, I watched an internationally famous actor record a public service announcement. He walked up to the microphone, adjusted the lectern in front of him and then, without looking behind him, simply extended his right arm outward and slightly back.
His fingers opened, and suddenly a bottle of cold water appeared in his hand. His assistant, in a constant state of anticipation, knew that his boss would reach out for the bottle and had it prepared and handy to slip into his fingers.
The movie star took a long sip, reached back without looking and dropped the bottle without hesitation in the waiting hand of his assistant.
Now that, I thought to myself, is what living in a bubble must be like.
It's easy to forget how all-embracing life in a cocoon is for the lucky few. There's always someone wondering what, exactly, you might need to make yourself happy.
There's always someone thinking about the water you might need to drink, or the shoes you might like to wear - whatever suddenly occurs to you, whether by whim or necessity, is already planned and anticipated.
It happens quickly. I remember not too long ago when my movie star friend was just another aspiring actor in Hollywood - a veteran of unsold television pilots, low-rent movies, and a thousand unsuccessful auditions.
I remember consoling him when he lost a big role to another actor. I counselled him to stick with it, to keep hustling, when he was ready to give it all up and head to law school. But after two good roles in two blockbuster films, the cocoon opened up and swallowed him whole. He now lives in a world of assistants and magically appearing bottles of water.
Last week, when the most famous celebrity in America, President Barack Obama, delivered a lacklustre performance in the first presidential debate of this year's US campaign, the political chat shows and newspaper editorial pages were obsessed with one question: how did this president, so talented at connecting with and communicating to an audience, make such a hash of the event?
To me, the explanations were unconvincing. He's tired, some said. He's preoccupied with events in Libya, said others. Former Vice President Al Gore even suggested - somewhat sheepishly - that perhaps it was Denver's high altitude that knocked the president off his game.
Nonsense. It was the cocoon that did him in.
Four years of cosseted pampering, of unquestioning service and anticipation, and four years of - and this is the crucial part - being surrounded by subservient and compliant employees took their toll.
The Oval Office is the most exclusive VIP section of a nightclub ever created. It's the Oscars and the Golden Globes and a private jet all rolled into one. It doesn't matter where the occupant came from - whether he was a millionaire or a hardscrabble striver - after a couple of years of motorcades and presidential pomp, it's awfully hard to remember you're just a normal guy.
Sure, you put your trousers on one leg at a time, but you only have to ask: the Secret Service will be glad to lift you up and gently slide you into them, both legs at once.
The look on the president's face, when he suddenly realised that for those brief 90 minutes he was going to be treated like a normal citizen, was exactly the look that will be on my movie star friend's face at some point in the future - hey, it happens to all of them - when after a couple of box office failures and the creeping signs of age, he reaches back instinctively for the bottle of water and finds himself grasping at air.
"What happens," I asked my friend as we walked out of the recording studio, "when it all stops, when the cocoon disgorges you back to normal life?"
"What are you talking about?" he said, shooting me an irritated look. "That's never going to happen."
What could I say to that? Presidents have re-elections to win and term limits to face. Movie stars, unfortunately, have no such luck.
Rob Long is a writer and producer based in Hollywood
On Twitter: @rbcl
RESULT
Arsenal 0 Chelsea 3
Chelsea: Willian (40'), Batshuayi (42', 49')
Results
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStage%202%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3E1.%20Soudal%E2%80%93Quick-Step%20-%2018%E2%80%9911%E2%80%9D%3Cbr%3E2.%20EF%20Education%20%E2%80%93%20EasyPost%20-%201%22%3Cbr%3E3.%20Ineos%20Grenadiers%20-%203%22%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EGeneral%20classification%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3E1.%20Lucas%20Plapp%20(AUS)%20Ineos%20Grenadiers%3Cbr%3E2.%20Remco%20Evenepoel%20(BEL)%20Soudal%E2%80%93Quick-Step%20-%20ST%3Cbr%3E3.%20Nikias%20Arndt%20(GER)%20Bahrain%20Victorious%20-%203%22%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
From Zero
Artist: Linkin Park
Label: Warner Records
Number of tracks: 11
Rating: 4/5
The UAE's journey to space
It's Monty Python's Crashing Rocket Circus
To the theme tune of the famous zany British comedy TV show, SpaceX has shown exactly what can go wrong when you try to land a rocket.
The two minute video posted on YouTube is a compilation of crashes and explosion as the company, created by billionaire Elon Musk, refined the technique of reusable space flight.
SpaceX is able to land its rockets on land once they have completed the first stage of their mission, and is able to resuse them multiple times - a first for space flight.
But as the video, How Not to Land an Orbital Rocket Booster, demonstrates, it was a case if you fail, try and try again.
England World Cup squad
Eoin Morgan (capt), Moeen Ali, Jofra Archer, Jonny Bairstow, Jos Buttler (wkt), Tom Curran, Liam Dawson, Liam Plunkett, Adil Rashid, Joe Root, Jason Roy, Ben Stokes, James Vince, Chris Woakes, Mark Wood
BANGLADESH SQUAD
Mashrafe Mortaza (captain), Tamim Iqbal, Liton Das, Soumya Sarkar, Mushfiqur Rahim (wicketkeeper), Mahmudullah, Shakib Al Hasan (vice captain), Mohammad Mithun, Sabbir Rahaman, Mosaddek Hossain, Mohammad Saifuddin, Mehidy Hasan Miraz, Rubel Hossain, Mustafizur Rahman, Abu Jayed (Reporting by Rohith Nair in Bengaluru Editing by Amlan Chakraborty)
Jetour T1 specs
Engine: 2-litre turbocharged
Power: 254hp
Torque: 390Nm
Price: From Dh126,000
Available: Now
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
Asia Cup Qualifier
Final
UAE v Hong Kong
TV:
Live on OSN Cricket HD. Coverage starts at 5.30am
MATCH INFO
What: India v Afghanistan, first Test
When: Starts Thursday
Where: M Chinnaswamy Stadium, Bengalaru
India squad for fourth and fifth Tests
Kohli (c), Dhawan, Rahul, Shaw, Pujara, Rahane (vc), Karun, Karthik (wk), Pant (wk), Ashwin, Jadeja, Pandya, Ishant, Shami, Umesh, Bumrah, Thakur, Vihari
Score
New Zealand 266 for 9 in 50 overs
Pakistan 219 all out in 47.2 overs
New Zealand win by 47 runs
New Zealand lead three-match ODI series 1-0
Next match: Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi, Friday
Scores
Day 2
New Zealand 153 & 56-1
Pakistan 227
New Zealand trail by 18 runs with nine wickets remaining
Read more about the coronavirus
MATCH INFO
Mumbai Indians 186-6 (20 ovs)
Kings XI Punjab 183-5 (20 ovs)
Mumbai Indians won by three runs
Brief scores:
Toss: Australia, chose to bat
Australia: 272-9 (50 ov)
Khawaja 100, Handscomb 52; Bhuvneshwar 3-48
India: 237 (50 ov)
Rohit 56, Bhuvneshwar 46; Zampa 3-46
Player of the Match: Usman Khawaja (Australia)
Player of the Series: Usman Khawaja (Australia)
2025 Fifa Club World Cup groups
Group A: Palmeiras, Porto, Al Ahly, Inter Miami.
Group B: Paris Saint-Germain, Atletico Madrid, Botafogo, Seattle.
Group C: Bayern Munich, Auckland City, Boca Juniors, Benfica.
Group D: Flamengo, ES Tunis, Chelsea, (Leon banned).
Group E: River Plate, Urawa, Monterrey, Inter Milan.
Group F: Fluminense, Borussia Dortmund, Ulsan, Mamelodi Sundowns.
Group G: Manchester City, Wydad, Al Ain, Juventus.
Group H: Real Madrid, Al Hilal, Pachuca, Salzburg.
The Scale for Clinical Actionability of Molecular Targets
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
The Pope's itinerary
Sunday, February 3, 2019 - Rome to Abu Dhabi
1pm: departure by plane from Rome / Fiumicino to Abu Dhabi
10pm: arrival at Abu Dhabi Presidential Airport
Monday, February 4
12pm: welcome ceremony at the main entrance of the Presidential Palace
12.20pm: visit Abu Dhabi Crown Prince at Presidential Palace
5pm: private meeting with Muslim Council of Elders at Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque
6.10pm: Inter-religious in the Founder's Memorial
Tuesday, February 5 - Abu Dhabi to Rome
9.15am: private visit to undisclosed cathedral
10.30am: public mass at Zayed Sports City – with a homily by Pope Francis
12.40pm: farewell at Abu Dhabi Presidential Airport
1pm: departure by plane to Rome
5pm: arrival at the Rome / Ciampino International Airport
What is an ETF?
An exchange traded fund is a type of investment fund that can be traded quickly and easily, just like stocks and shares. They come with no upfront costs aside from your brokerage's dealing charges and annual fees, which are far lower than on traditional mutual investment funds. Charges are as low as 0.03 per cent on one of the very cheapest (and most popular), Vanguard S&P 500 ETF, with the maximum around 0.75 per cent.
There is no fund manager deciding which stocks and other assets to invest in, instead they passively track their chosen index, country, region or commodity, regardless of whether it goes up or down.
The first ETF was launched as recently as 1993, but the sector boasted $5.78 billion in assets under management at the end of September as inflows hit record highs, according to the latest figures from ETFGI, a leading independent research and consultancy firm.
There are thousands to choose from, with the five largest providers BlackRock’s iShares, Vanguard, State Street Global Advisers, Deutsche Bank X-trackers and Invesco PowerShares.
While the best-known track major indices such as MSCI World, the S&P 500 and FTSE 100, you can also invest in specific countries or regions, large, medium or small companies, government bonds, gold, crude oil, cocoa, water, carbon, cattle, corn futures, currency shifts or even a stock market crash.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
