Turkey earthquake one year on: Families of the missing struggle with 'unbearable pain'

“We are hoping for any news, a tooth, anything that could tell us whether he is alive or dead.”

Selma, 54, is a mother who is inconsolable.

Her son, Samet, who was 24 at the time, was away on business and was spending the night a few kilometres from the family home in Antakya when a powerful 7.8-magnitude earthquake struck southern Turkey and Syria.

More than 50,000 people were killed as buildings across the region were flattened, including the one in which Samet was staying.

Sometimes, I think he might still be alive and that he hit his head and lost his memory

Selma,
whose son Samet is missing

His body has yet to be found and two DNA tests on human remains from the site turned out negative.

“Where is my son? If he died, where is the body?” Selma asks, in tears.

Turkish authorities have not provided an official figure for the number of people missing after the earthquake. Afad, the Disaster and Emergency Management Authority, did not respond to The National's request for information.

The Association for Solidarity with Earthquake Victims and Lost Relatives (Demak), a group of relatives of missing people, has found that at least 140 people are still unaccounted for, its secretary general Sema Gulec says.

Meanwhile, Selma says: “As time passes, I feel more pain.

"It is unbearable,” she tells The National, sitting in her living room with portraits of her smiling son adorning the white walls.

Her two daughters listen as their mother describes a year filled with an unimaginable blend of grief and painful hope.

Not a bone to bury

Selma holds a photograph of her son Samet, whose body has yet to be found in the rubble of the building he was in when last year's earthquake struck. Antonie Robertson / The National

“I had a bad feeling, I told him to stay at home the night of the earthquake,” Selma tells.

But Samet insisted on spending the night in the place rented for him by his employer after a late meeting.

In the middle of the night, when the initial tremors gave way to a stronger quake, the first floor of the eight-storey building collapsed, crushing the lower level and casing the entire structure to tilt.

But back in Antakya, his parents' house had sustained only minimal damage and they immediately began desperate efforts to contact Samet.

“His phone was still ringing when we called him,” Selma says.

She says the rescue team sent out by authorities was slow to respond, poorly equipped and reluctant to approach the building, which was deemed to be dangerous.

“When they came on the second day, the rescue team had no equipment.”

In the days that followed, four people were pulled alive from the building after Samet's father, Metin, 53, insisted he had heard voices from beneath the rubble. However, Samet was nowhere to be found.

Eventually, a gas leak sparked a fire, surely burning any possible survivors. Samet's phone stopped ringing.

But the family persevered with their efforts to find out what had happened to Samet. His father returned to the building to collect some bones from the site before it was cleared, hoping to find a match through DNA testing.

After the first test came back negative, they asked for another, which produced the same result.

A photo on Selma’s phone of body bags containing the remains of people in the building where her son had been spending the night. Antonie Robertson / The National

Nonetheless, the authorities issued a death certificate for Samet in June.

“We don't even have a bone to bury,” Selma laments as she clutches a jumper that belonged to her son.

But this also allows for hope.

“Sometimes, I think he might still be alive and that he hit his head and lost his memory,” she says.

Torn between grief and hope

Selma’s daughters shake their heads slightly as she speaks. They lost hope long ago; for them, it is too late.

“It's been a year,” one of them says.

The family clung for months to the hope of finding Samet alive, putting up missing-person posters with their phone number in the neighbourhood of the collapsed building.

Selma sobs into a shirt that belonged to Samet, her missing son, that she has not washed since he disappeared. Antonie Robertson / The National

They received responses but none that helped their search.

“One person told me he [Samet] took a bus to the city of Mersin, wearing a black coat. I believed him; I didn't sleep that night. However, we searched for him and couldn't find my son,” Selma says.

“I don't understand why people would do that. They gave us false hope.”

She says another caller also claimed to have seen Samet but this time they did not allow their hopes to be raised: “I didn't have the strength for that any more.”

Most of the calls they have received turned out to be either pranks or people calling to pray over the phone for Samet's return.

The family is now divided over publicising their phone number again.

The chaos in the days after the earthquake, with unidentified victims being hastily buried in mass graves, might explain why some people are still unaccounted for despite the efforts of authorities to collect fingerprints, DNA samples and take photographs to identify them later.

The estimated number of people missing is far lower than after the 1999 earthquake near Istanbul that claimed 18,000 lives, which left 5,840 people unaccounted for, according to official figures.

Ms Gulec, of Demak, is calling for a parliamentary inquiry commission to be set up, and requesting that some graves be reopened for DNA samples to be collected.

“We cannot find our missing loved ones and we are asking for the state's assistance in this regard,” she tells The National.

For Selma, there will be no closure until then.

“We are praying to Allah for a sign,” she says.

Tips for newlyweds to better manage finances

All couples are unique and have to create a financial blueprint that is most suitable for their relationship, says Vijay Valecha, chief investment officer at Century Financial. He offers his top five tips for couples to better manage their finances.

Discuss your assets and debts: When married, it’s important to understand each other’s personal financial situation. It’s necessary to know upfront what each party brings to the table, as debts and assets affect spending habits and joint loan qualifications. Discussing all aspects of their finances as a couple prevents anyone from being blindsided later.

Decide on the financial/saving goals: Spouses should independently list their top goals and share their lists with one another to shape a joint plan. Writing down clear goals will help them determine how much to save each month, how much to put aside for short-term goals, and how they will reach their long-term financial goals.

Set a budget: A budget can keep the couple be mindful of their income and expenses. With a monthly budget, couples will know exactly how much they can spend in a category each month, how much they have to work with and what spending areas need to be evaluated.

Decide who manages what: When it comes to handling finances, it’s a good idea to decide who manages what. For example, one person might take on the day-to-day bills, while the other tackles long-term investments and retirement plans.

Money date nights: Talking about money should be a healthy, ongoing conversation and couples should not wait for something to go wrong. They should set time aside every month to talk about future financial decisions and see the progress they’ve made together towards accomplishing their goals.

10 tips for entry-level job seekers

Have an up-to-date, professional LinkedIn profile. If you don’t have a LinkedIn account, set one up today. Avoid poor-quality profile pictures with distracting backgrounds. Include a professional summary and begin to grow your network.
Keep track of the job trends in your sector through the news. Apply for job alerts at your dream organisations and the types of jobs you want – LinkedIn uses AI to share similar relevant jobs based on your selections.
Double check that you’ve highlighted relevant skills on your resume and LinkedIn profile.
For most entry-level jobs, your resume will first be filtered by an applicant tracking system for keywords. Look closely at the description of the job you are applying for and mirror the language as much as possible (while being honest and accurate about your skills and experience).
Keep your CV professional and in a simple format – make sure you tailor your cover letter and application to the company and role.
Go online and look for details on job specifications for your target position. Make a list of skills required and set yourself some learning goals to tick off all the necessary skills one by one.
Don’t be afraid to reach outside your immediate friends and family to other acquaintances and let them know you are looking for new opportunities.
Make sure you’ve set your LinkedIn profile to signal that you are “open to opportunities”. Also be sure to use LinkedIn to search for people who are still actively hiring by searching for those that have the headline “I’m hiring” or “We’re hiring” in their profile.
Prepare for online interviews using mock interview tools. Even before landing interviews, it can be useful to start practising.
Be professional and patient. Always be professional with whoever you are interacting with throughout your search process, this will be remembered. You need to be patient, dedicated and not give up on your search. Candidates need to make sure they are following up appropriately for roles they have applied.

Arda Atalay, head of Mena private sector at LinkedIn Talent Solutions, Rudy Bier, managing partner of Kinetic Business Solutions and Ben Kinerman Daltrey, co-founder of KinFitz

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MATCH INFO

Real Madrid 3 (Kroos 4', Ramos 30', Marcelo 37')

Eibar 1 (Bigas 60')

Sole survivors

Cecelia Crocker was on board Northwest Airlines Flight 255 in 1987 when it crashed in Detroit, killing 154 people, including her parents and brother. The plane had hit a light pole on take off
George Lamson Jr, from Minnesota, was on a Galaxy Airlines flight that crashed in Reno in 1985, killing 68 people. His entire seat was launched out of the plane
Bahia Bakari, then 12, survived when a Yemenia Airways flight crashed near the Comoros in 2009, killing 152. She was found clinging to wreckage after floating in the ocean for 13 hours.
Jim Polehinke was the co-pilot and sole survivor of a 2006 Comair flight that crashed in Lexington, Kentucky, killing 49.

GOLF’S RAHMBO

- 5 wins in 22 months as pro
- Three wins in past 10 starts
- 45 pro starts worldwide: 5 wins, 17 top 5s
- Ranked 551th in world on debut, now No 4 (was No 2 earlier this year)
- 5th player in last 30 years to win 3 European Tour and 2 PGA Tour titles before age 24 (Woods, Garcia, McIlroy, Spieth)