I'm feeling cheesed off with the sisterhood this week. I know we're not supposed to get "catty" about other women, but this week, I just need to get it off my chest.
Of course, you'll immediately know that I'm talking about the American reality TV star Kim Kardashian. Of course you've heard of her. You know, famous for, er, well, being famous and doing publicity-generating things to make her more famous. She filed for divorce only 72 days after getting married.
This wasn't any kind of arranged marriage, selected by third parties, introduced on the wedding night and subsequently found unsuitable. No, Kardashian had been dating him for almost a year before they tied the knot. So there weren't any surprises waiting to leap out at her. What did she discover in the handful of days after the nuptials that she didn't know before? It all seems a little fast to have broken it off, given that she knew him beforehand. The acres of media coverage certainly bear out rumours that it was just all a fabulous publicity stunt.
From one extreme of marriage to the other. This time it's the Obedient Wives Club that is back in the news trying to keep marriages going longer by getting wives to be more submissive as well as offer up more sex. They have just opened a London chapter of their controversial organisation, which was set up in Malaysia earlier this year.
I've hung back from writing about them before, thinking - nay, hoping - that they would just fade away into a quick, forgettable obscurity, a bit like Kardashian's marriage. But oh no, it's on the rise. The club says that it wants to put an end to social problems such as prostitution and gambling by showing Muslim wives how to be submissive and keep their spouses happy in the bedroom. If he is straying, indulging in naughty activities, or just not doing his bit in the marriage, the solution according to the Obedient Wives is to engage in more bedroom antics.
Now, we're all adults here and there is no need to be prudish. The bedroom is a great place to strengthen a marriage, and there's no harm in encouraging partners to be more sensitive towards each other. But if a man is out there indulging in some extramarital hanky-panky, or spending some bucks at a local gambling den, then it's not the wife's fault - it's his.
Last week the club published a manual to be given to wives on Islamic sex. It was banned by the government in Malaysia who said it could cause confusion among readers about what is acceptable.
The club says it will share the book internally within members. Since this is aimed at women, I wonder if there is a similar one for men? Or better still, I'd like to see the husbands given manuals on cooking and housekeeping. Otherwise you will find us lay-deez will be out on the town, because our husbands are not looking after us properly. We'll give you more than 72 days to prove yourselves though.
Call me crazy, but marriage should not be a publicity stunt, nor a tick-box on a life experience checklist. It does not work well in short bursts, but only after long-term investment. It does not work when you think the other person's lack of involvement is your fault.
Sadly, this week women from East and West have both spectacularly diminished marriage by reducing it to just sex and money. How disappointing. Message to the sisterhood: must do better.
Shelina Zahra Janmohamed is the author of Love in a Headscarf and writes a blog at www.spirit21.co.uk
Banthology: Stories from Unwanted Nations
Edited by Sarah Cleave, Comma Press
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League final:
Who: Real Madrid v Liverpool
Where: NSC Olimpiyskiy Stadium, Kiev, Ukraine
When: Saturday, May 26, 10.45pm (UAE)
TV: Match on BeIN Sports
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – FINAL RECKONING
Director: Christopher McQuarrie
Starring: Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Simon Pegg
Rating: 4/5
THE BIO: Martin Van Almsick
Hometown: Cologne, Germany
Family: Wife Hanan Ahmed and their three children, Marrah (23), Tibijan (19), Amon (13)
Favourite dessert: Umm Ali with dark camel milk chocolate flakes
Favourite hobby: Football
Breakfast routine: a tall glass of camel milk
Results
5pm: Maiden (PA) Dh80,000 (Turf) 1,200m, Winner: ES Rubban, Antonio Fresu (jockey), Ibrahim Aseel (trainer)
5.30pm: Handicap (PA) Dh85,000 (T) 1,200m, Winner: Al Mobher, Sczcepan Mazur, Ibrahim Al Hadhrami
6pm: Handicap (PA) Dh80,000 (T) 2,200m, Winner: Jabalini, Tadhg O’Shea, Ibrahim Al Hadhrami
6.30pm: Wathba Stallions Cup (PA) Dh70,000 (T) 2,200m, Winner: AF Abahe, Tadgh O’Shea, Ernst Oertel
7pm: Handicap (PA) Dh85,000 (T) 1,600m, Winner: AF Makerah, Tadhg O’Shea, Ernst Oertel
7.30pm: Maiden (TB) Dh80,000 (T) 1,600m, Winner: Law Of Peace, Tadhg O’Shea, Satish Seemar
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
It
Director: Andres Muschietti
Starring: Bill Skarsgard, Jaeden Lieberher, Sophia Lillis, Chosen Jacobs, Jeremy Ray Taylor
Three stars
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
RESULT
RS Leipzig 3
Marcel Sabitzer 10', 21'
Emil Forsberg 87'
Tottenham 0
Friday's schedule in Madrid
Men's quarter-finals
Novak Djokivic (1) v Marin Cilic (9) from 2pm UAE time
Roger Federer (4) v Dominic Thiem (5) from 7pm
Stefanos Tsitsipas (8) v Alexander Zverev (3) from 9.30pm
Stan Wawrinka v Rafael Nadal (2) from 11.30pm
Women's semi-finals
Belinda Bencic v Simona Halep (3) from 4.30pm
Sloane Stephens (8) v Kiki Bertens (7) from 10pm
Infiniti QX80 specs
Engine: twin-turbocharged 3.5-liter V6
Power: 450hp
Torque: 700Nm
Price: From Dh450,000, Autograph model from Dh510,000
Available: Now
COMPANY PROFILE
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Total funding: Self funded
Specs
Engine: Dual-motor all-wheel-drive electric
Range: Up to 610km
Power: 905hp
Torque: 985Nm
Price: From Dh439,000
Available: Now
Company Profile
Company name: OneOrder
Started: October 2021
Founders: Tamer Amer and Karim Maurice
Based: Cairo, Egypt
Industry: technology, logistics
Investors: A15 and self-funded
Results:
5pm: Maiden (PA) Dh80,000 1,400m | Winner: Eghel De Pine, Pat Cosgrave (jockey), Eric Lemartinel (trainer)
5.30pm: Maiden (PA) Dh80,000 1,400m | Winner: AF Sheaar, Szczepan Mazur, Saeed Al Shamsi
6pm: Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan National Day Cup (PA) Group 3 Dh500,000 1,600m | Winner: RB Torch, Fabrice Veron, Eric Lemartinel
6.30pm: Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan National Day Cup (TB) Listed Dh380,000 1,600m | Winner: Forjatt, Chris Hayes, Nicholas Bachalard
7pm: Wathba Stallions Cup for Private Owners Handicap (PA) Dh 70,000 1,400m | Winner: Hawafez, Connor Beasley, Ridha ben Attia
7.30pm: Handicap (PA) Dh 80,000 1,600m | Winner: Qader, Richard Mullen, Jean de Roaulle
The biog
Name: Marie Byrne
Nationality: Irish
Favourite film: The Shawshank Redemption
Book: Seagull by Jonathan Livingston
Life lesson: A person is not old until regret takes the place of their dreams
F1 The Movie
Starring: Brad Pitt, Damson Idris, Kerry Condon, Javier Bardem
Director: Joseph Kosinski
Rating: 4/5
