We need to be able to accept mental illness



I know people who are openly coping with mental illness. I know people who thrive, despite coping with psychological disorders, I know people who haven't received treatment for their issues at all and I know people who are unaware they have problems. To be honest, and this may come across as a bit divisive, I would contend that almost everyone in the world has unhealthy psychological processes, albeit in varying degrees.
I'm talking about unhealthy psychological patterns, mechanisms and behaviours. The ones we do repeatedly, despite the damage they do to ourselves or to others.
This morning, I saw three cars parked outside a cafe, each beeping their horns repeatedly for the waiter to run out. One of them grew so impatient he held his hand down on the horn for about 10 seconds as I was walking in front of his car. Perhaps those gentlemen thought being attended to in their cars was a basic part of the service. But that noise is a nuisance – not only is it equivalent to screaming at a waiter from across a restaurant, it is shrill and distressing. One might casually describe such behaviour as an antisocial disregard for the well-being of others.
Following this incident, I had to cross a virtually empty road. However, the driver of an enormous 4X4, 50 metres away, had a different idea. As soon as I stepped onto the crossing, he floored it – forcing me to step back and let him speed past, only to slow down again once he'd "made his point". Lovely.
We all know people with a huge range of problems. Such as parents who push their vulnerable children towards their own unfulfilled fantasies or the fuming, hulking wannabe-Goliath marching down the street like a raging bull at the edge of reason, desperate for an altercation. "What's his deal? He must really hate himself," I usually think.
The point is, it's very hard to categorise mental illness.We know about the conditions that seem easy to categorise and diagnose – eating disorders, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc. So, too, do we know those that are slightly less clear-cut, such as ADHD.
However, the way people can experience these disorders can vary wildly.
Eating disorders, for example, aren't easy to categorise. Of course there's anorexia, bulimia and binge-eating, but then there are people who to varying extents have unhealthy relationships with food. There's such a range. And nobody wants to talk about it. It's considered socially unacceptable, and damaging, to do so.
My friends who have sought help are usually the most together people I know. It helps for people to be able to deal with their issues, whether it is seeking therapy while coping with a divorce, or medication to deal with the highs and lows associated with bipolar disorder.
However, the sociological message is that only the weak need therapy; that it's shameful to admit having a problem. But that's the key point here: we all have problems. If you're doing something about yours, well done, I applaud you. If more of us talked about it, maybe it wouldn't be such a taboo subject.
Surely it's healthier for us to deal with our issues openly, in a constructive manner, than to ignore and stuff them all into a cupboard until it explodes.
Hareth Al Bustani co-writes the My Year at The National blog, where this piece was originally published
artslife@thenational.ae

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Mr Al Qassimi is 37 and lives in Dubai
He is a keen drummer and loves gardening
His favourite way to unwind is spending time with his two children and cooking

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