Zainab Al Sawalhi told her husband Abdulrazzaq “Abdo” Al Khaja exactly what their children’s names would be just a few months into their marriage. “It was non-negotiable,” says the Emirati content creator with a wry laugh.
When she became pregnant for the first time in 2020, she announced it to Al Khaja – a gaming enthusiast – with the help of a newborn-sized onesie emblazoned with the words: “A third gamer is on the way.” She even had Al Khaja cut a cake on Father’s Day that year. “I already felt like a mother, so I was treating him like a father.”
A few weeks into the pregnancy, Al Sawalhi, then 26, suffered a miscarriage. It was an ordeal she went through three times.
‘That kind of grief, it becomes part of you’
Each time she had a miscarriage, Al Sawalhi took a year before trying to conceive again to allow her body to heal. “The first time, I did not understand what was happening,” she says. “The second time, I did every single test whether covered by insurance or not.”
When the results revealed that neither Al Sawalhi nor Al Khaja, who live in Dubai, had medical issues linked to complications in conceiving or carrying a child, her doctor drew up an elaborate plan to ensure the third pregnancy would be a success. “She gave me aspirin, injections and other meds six months beforehand,” says Al Sawalhi.
“It was tough because I am someone who avoids pills as much as possible usually. So to take that many for months before even trying to conceive was traumatic in itself, especially as the miscarriage happened again. That third time was the toughest because hopes were raised so high only to get crushed.”
Miscarriage feels like a part of you died from the inside and you can never get over it
Zainab Al Sawalhi,
Emirati content creator
To make matters worse, the couple often felt isolated and even insulted when perhaps well-meaning but ultimately insensitive friends, family members and even medical experts outlined reasons and offered advice for their troubles. “Doctors can be inconsiderate, too. Tough love does not work for everyone,” says Al Khaja.
“On the one hand, I was told the miscarriages were happening because I am vegan and should eat more chicken,” says Al Sawalhi. “On the other, a doctor told me I have high immunity, so the body is attacking the foetus, and prescribed tablets to lower my immunity.
“Accusations and even comparisons to others were not what I was expecting to hear. Miscarriage feels like a part of you died from the inside and you can never get over it. That kind of grief becomes part of you and you feel isolated when nobody around seems to understand.”
It was then that the couple decided to go down the IVF route.
‘Your heart stops each time the phone rings’
Medically, viable embryos can be frozen for up to 10 years. The science, and what it reveals and permits, is incredible – but the extraction surgery, plus pre-procedural and follow-up injections are painful, to say the least.
“To some, it’s only about going into a clinic for a shot,” says Al Sawalhi. “In reality, I had to take injections to enable the egg follicles to mature and become big enough to be able to retrieve them.
“This was followed by the surgery itself, after which I was not allowed to walk or even bend down to pray as even one wrong movement can make all the egg follicles erupt, which can lead to internal bleeding and I can lose everything. And after the surgery, I was still taking injections to get the ovaries back to their normal size.”
While it’s the woman who bears the brunt physically, Al Khaja says seeing how weak his wife had become and the pain she was enduring owing to the countless injections – some of which he had to administer – was heartbreaking in itself. That mental and emotional burden also becomes heavier when awaiting the results of the fertilisation procedure.
Going down this route has made us realise that maybe the goal isn't just to get married, conceive, rinse and repeat
Abdo Al Khaja,
actor, comic and Emirati content creator
“Imagine you’re getting update after update from the clinic on a daily basis,” says Al Khaja. “First, it’s like you’ve got 20 viable embryos. Then it’s down to 10. Oh, now it’s five. It’s like your heart stops each time the phone rings.”
“The toughest part about that first phase was we accidentally found out the gender of one embryo they did a biopsy on, the one that had a genetic disorder. That made the loss even more real,” says Al Sawalhi, visibly welling up. “My doctor was extremely nice and kind because he told me: ‘I’m so sorry for your loss.’ He understood that, to me, this embryo was also a child, just one who didn't make it into this world. That was my baby as well. To date, I say I have had four miscarriages, not three.”
While the process itself is painful and success is not guaranteed, the couple say the silver lining of freezing embryos is that it takes the pressure off to an extent, with Al Sawalhi noting she can now wait to conceive even until she’s in her late 30s or early 40s should she choose to.
Al Khaja, who is also a content creator and dabbles in acting and comedy, adds: “Where before there was a clock ticking, now there is not as much of a rush. We are using the time to focus on other aspects of our life and relationship. We can travel and work as much as possible now, given we are still young and have the energy to do so.
“Going down this route has made us realise that maybe the goal isn't just to get married, conceive, rinse and repeat, but rather to go on an amazing self-discovery journey, and also learn more about one another,” he says. “This does not mean you just sit and wait for something to happen. You do your best, whatever is humanly possible within your limits and use the amazing technology at your disposal. For us, that was IVF and freezing the embryos. After that, leave it and live life.”
It's not all storks and sunshine, though.
‘It’s like something is missing in this woman’
“Kids of the tube.” That is the unfortunate moniker used by some to describe children born from IVF, a procedure that is still stigmatised by some factions of society. “It’s looked down upon by some, including family members,” says Al Sawalhi matter-of-factly. “The kid is somehow considered less than a kid who was conceived naturally.”
Even when they went through a miscarriage, the couple felt isolated and unsupported. “I was told: ‘You've barely been pregnant. It’s not even a soul in the first trimester.’ And that hurt me the most because the minute a woman knows she's pregnant, she has become a mother, she has already made a future for this child.
“Another person said: ‘Oh, don’t worry. I know a friend who went through seven miscarriages before she had a kid.’ And I’m sorry that someone experienced this, but is it too much to ask to just hear me out and not compare me to someone else because my journey is different? I get where they're coming from, though, because no one talks about it. They don't know how to say a simple ‘sorry for your loss’ because it isn't taught to them. It was not easy to accept this, but I get it.”
This lack of awareness and lack of willingness to talk about miscarriages, IVF and conception challenges at large is what Al Sawalhi and Al Khaja feel most strongly about. Al Sawalhi believes some women feel – or are made to feel – ashamed when they are unable to conceive naturally. She says there is a traditional societal expectation that a woman's purpose is to bear children.
She adds: “If suddenly that’s not working and you have to go for IVF, it’s like something is missing in this woman. For those from older generations or a conservative mindset, who have never been exposed to it, they don’t know what to do when someone talks about it and needs you to be there for them. That was difficult on me.”
Letting go of something you have been holding on to so tightly creates space in your brain and your body to appreciate the blessings you have
Zainab Al Sawalhi
The irony, Al Sawalhi adds, is that when she reached out to friends she thought had children naturally, she realised just how many of them had gone down the IVF route, albeit silently.
Al Khaja agrees. “The science has progressed and our government, too, is very encouraging and supportive about IVF,” he adds. “It’s people themselves who keep quiet about it and I wonder why. At the end of the day it’s a blessing that the kid is there. Biologically, it’s a baby, a healthy beautiful baby.”
‘Now I am in no rush’
The couple are taking their time before moving on to stage two of the IVF procedure, the embryo transfer itself. “I am in no rush and want my body to detox from all the heavy IVF requirements. I believe we need to take it easy on our bodies, especially because they do so much for us on a daily basis,” says Al Sawalhi
She adds: “To be honest, I am not even as obsessed about having a kid as I used to be. I just want to live in the moment and not think about tomorrow. Even if this does not work out, I don’t want to force things, rather let them take their own pace.
“Sometimes letting go of something you have been holding on to so tightly creates space in your brain and your body to appreciate the different blessings you have. Society feels having children younger is better, but my mentality has changed,” she adds.
“What I do want now is to tell my story, and hopefully allow this conversation to be normalised in our society so other women don’t feel as alone as I did.”
World Cricket League Division 2
In Windhoek, Namibia - Top two teams qualify for the World Cup Qualifier in Zimbabwe, which starts on March 4.
UAE fixtures
Thursday February 8, v Kenya; Friday February 9, v Canada; Sunday February 11, v Nepal; Monday February 12, v Oman; Wednesday February 14, v Namibia; Thursday February 15, final
SPECS
Engine: Two-litre four-cylinder turbo
Power: 235hp
Torque: 350Nm
Transmission: Nine-speed automatic
Price: From Dh167,500 ($45,000)
On sale: Now
Four motivational quotes from Alicia's Dubai talk
“The only thing we need is to know that we have faith. Faith and hope in our own dreams. The belief that, when we keep going we’re going to find our way. That’s all we got.”
“Sometimes we try so hard to keep things inside. We try so hard to pretend it’s not really bothering us. In some ways, that hurts us more. You don’t realise how dishonest you are with yourself sometimes, but I realised that if I spoke it, I could let it go.”
“One good thing is to know you’re not the only one going through it. You’re not the only one trying to find your way, trying to find yourself, trying to find amazing energy, trying to find a light. Show all of yourself. Show every nuance. All of your magic. All of your colours. Be true to that. You can be unafraid.”
“It’s time to stop holding back. It’s time to do it on your terms. It’s time to shine in the most unbelievable way. It’s time to let go of negativity and find your tribe, find those people that lift you up, because everybody else is just in your way.”
The Bio
Name: Lynn Davison
Profession: History teacher at Al Yasmina Academy, Abu Dhabi
Children: She has one son, Casey, 28
Hometown: Pontefract, West Yorkshire in the UK
Favourite book: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Favourite Author: CJ Sansom
Favourite holiday destination: Bali
Favourite food: A Sunday roast
The candidates
Dr Ayham Ammora, scientist and business executive
Ali Azeem, business leader
Tony Booth, professor of education
Lord Browne, former BP chief executive
Dr Mohamed El-Erian, economist
Professor Wyn Evans, astrophysicist
Dr Mark Mann, scientist
Gina MIller, anti-Brexit campaigner
Lord Smith, former Cabinet minister
Sandi Toksvig, broadcaster
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
F1 The Movie
Starring: Brad Pitt, Damson Idris, Kerry Condon, Javier Bardem
Director: Joseph Kosinski
Rating: 4/5
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
The specs
Engine: 3.8-litre twin-turbo flat-six
Power: 650hp at 6,750rpm
Torque: 800Nm from 2,500-4,000rpm
Transmission: 8-speed dual-clutch auto
Fuel consumption: 11.12L/100km
Price: From Dh796,600
On sale: now
Voices: How A Great Singer Can Change Your Life
Nick Coleman
Jonathan Cape
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Seven tips from Emirates NBD
1. Never respond to e-mails, calls or messages asking for account, card or internet banking details
2. Never store a card PIN (personal identification number) in your mobile or in your wallet
3. Ensure online shopping websites are secure and verified before providing card details
4. Change passwords periodically as a precautionary measure
5. Never share authentication data such as passwords, card PINs and OTPs (one-time passwords) with third parties
6. Track bank notifications regarding transaction discrepancies
7. Report lost or stolen debit and credit cards immediately
PROFILE BOX
Company name: Overwrite.ai
Founder: Ayman Alashkar
Started: Established in 2020
Based: Dubai International Financial Centre, Dubai
Sector: PropTech
Initial investment: Self-funded by founder
Funding stage: Seed funding, in talks with angel investors
BIGGEST CYBER SECURITY INCIDENTS IN RECENT TIMES
SolarWinds supply chain attack: Came to light in December 2020 but had taken root for several months, compromising major tech companies, governments and its entities
Microsoft Exchange server exploitation: March 2021; attackers used a vulnerability to steal emails
Kaseya attack: July 2021; ransomware hit perpetrated REvil, resulting in severe downtime for more than 1,000 companies
Log4j breach: December 2021; attackers exploited the Java-written code to inflitrate businesses and governments
Sole survivors
- Cecelia Crocker was on board Northwest Airlines Flight 255 in 1987 when it crashed in Detroit, killing 154 people, including her parents and brother. The plane had hit a light pole on take off
- George Lamson Jr, from Minnesota, was on a Galaxy Airlines flight that crashed in Reno in 1985, killing 68 people. His entire seat was launched out of the plane
- Bahia Bakari, then 12, survived when a Yemenia Airways flight crashed near the Comoros in 2009, killing 152. She was found clinging to wreckage after floating in the ocean for 13 hours.
- Jim Polehinke was the co-pilot and sole survivor of a 2006 Comair flight that crashed in Lexington, Kentucky, killing 49.
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
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Ferrari 12Cilindri specs
Engine: naturally aspirated 6.5-liter V12
Power: 819hp
Torque: 678Nm at 7,250rpm
Price: From Dh1,700,000
Available: Now
Napoleon
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3A%20Ridley%20Scott%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3A%20Joaquin%20Phoenix%2C%20Vanessa%20Kirby%2C%20Tahar%20Rahim%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3A%202%2F5%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
More from Rashmee Roshan Lall
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%3Cp%3EFly%20with%20Etihad%20Airways%20from%20Abu%20Dhabi%20to%20New%20York%E2%80%99s%20JFK.%20There's%2011%20flights%20a%20week%20and%20economy%20fares%20start%20at%20around%20Dh5%2C000.%3Cbr%3EStay%20at%20The%20Mark%20Hotel%20on%20the%20city%E2%80%99s%20Upper%20East%20Side.%20Overnight%20stays%20start%20from%20%241395%20per%20night.%3Cbr%3EVisit%20NYC%20Go%2C%20the%20official%20destination%20resource%20for%20New%20York%20City%20for%20all%20the%20latest%20events%2C%20activites%20and%20openings.%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
TEACHERS' PAY - WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
Pay varies significantly depending on the school, its rating and the curriculum. Here's a rough guide as of January 2021:
- top end schools tend to pay Dh16,000-17,000 a month - plus a monthly housing allowance of up to Dh6,000. These tend to be British curriculum schools rated 'outstanding' or 'very good', followed by American schools
- average salary across curriculums and skill levels is about Dh10,000, recruiters say
- it is becoming more common for schools to provide accommodation, sometimes in an apartment block with other teachers, rather than hand teachers a cash housing allowance
- some strong performing schools have cut back on salaries since the pandemic began, sometimes offering Dh16,000 including the housing allowance, which reflects the slump in rental costs, and sheer demand for jobs
- maths and science teachers are most in demand and some schools will pay up to Dh3,000 more than other teachers in recognition of their technical skills
- at the other end of the market, teachers in some Indian schools, where fees are lower and competition among applicants is intense, can be paid as low as Dh3,000 per month
- in Indian schools, it has also become common for teachers to share residential accommodation, living in a block with colleagues
LILO & STITCH
Starring: Sydney Elizebeth Agudong, Maia Kealoha, Chris Sanders
Director: Dean Fleischer Camp
Rating: 4.5/5
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
KILLING OF QASSEM SULEIMANI
Gothia Cup 2025
4,872 matches
1,942 teams
116 pitches
76 nations
26 UAE teams
15 Lebanese teams
2 Kuwaiti teams
Anghami
Started: December 2011
Co-founders: Elie Habib, Eddy Maroun
Based: Beirut and Dubai
Sector: Entertainment
Size: 85 employees
Stage: Series C
Investors: MEVP, du, Mobily, MBC, Samena Capital
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If you go
- The nearest international airport to the start of the Chuysky Trakt is in Novosibirsk. Emirates (www.emirates.com) offer codeshare flights with S7 Airlines (www.s7.ru) via Moscow for US$5,300 (Dh19,467) return including taxes. Cheaper flights are available on Flydubai and Air Astana or Aeroflot combination, flying via Astana in Kazakhstan or Moscow. Economy class tickets are available for US$650 (Dh2,400).
- The Double Tree by Hilton in Novosibirsk ( 7 383 2230100,) has double rooms from US$60 (Dh220). You can rent cabins at camp grounds or rooms in guesthouses in the towns for around US$25 (Dh90).
- The transport Minibuses run along the Chuysky Trakt but if you want to stop for sightseeing, hire a taxi from Gorno-Altaisk for about US$100 (Dh360) a day. Take a Russian phrasebook or download a translation app. Tour companies such as Altair-Tour ( 7 383 2125115 ) offer hiking and adventure packages.
How to wear a kandura
Dos
- Wear the right fabric for the right season and occasion
- Always ask for the dress code if you don’t know
- Wear a white kandura, white ghutra / shemagh (headwear) and black shoes for work
- Wear 100 per cent cotton under the kandura as most fabrics are polyester
Don’ts
- Wear hamdania for work, always wear a ghutra and agal
- Buy a kandura only based on how it feels; ask questions about the fabric and understand what you are buying
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The specs
AT4 Ultimate, as tested
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Power: 420hp
Torque: 623Nm
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)
On sale: Now
All%20We%20Imagine%20as%20Light
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Tips to stay safe during hot weather
- Stay hydrated: Drink plenty of fluids, especially water. Avoid alcohol and caffeine, which can increase dehydration.
- Seek cool environments: Use air conditioning, fans, or visit community spaces with climate control.
- Limit outdoor activities: Avoid strenuous activity during peak heat. If outside, seek shade and wear a wide-brimmed hat.
- Dress appropriately: Wear lightweight, loose and light-coloured clothing to facilitate heat loss.
- Check on vulnerable people: Regularly check in on elderly neighbours, young children and those with health conditions.
- Home adaptations: Use blinds or curtains to block sunlight, avoid using ovens or stoves, and ventilate living spaces during cooler hours.
- Recognise heat illness: Learn the signs of heat exhaustion and heat stroke (dizziness, confusion, rapid pulse, nausea), and seek medical attention if symptoms occur.
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
Honeymoonish
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