The writer with his mother and sisters at his father Joselito Diaz's grave in the Philippines. One Carlo Diaz / The National
The writer with his mother and sisters at his father Joselito Diaz's grave in the Philippines. One Carlo Diaz / The National
The writer with his mother and sisters at his father Joselito Diaz's grave in the Philippines. One Carlo Diaz / The National
The writer with his mother and sisters at his father Joselito Diaz's grave in the Philippines. One Carlo Diaz / The National


A letter to my father, who died too soon


  • English
  • Arabic

October 04, 2024

Dear Dad,

There's a four-hour time difference between Dubai and Manila, so whenever you sent me a good morning message I was usually fast asleep. When you told me about your lunch, you always asked for a picture of what I was having, but at 8am I'd only be half-awake brewing my first coffee of the day. And when it was midnight in the Philippines, you'd send me a message asking why I was still up, but it would only be 8pm and I would have just had dinner.

It was like this from 2017, when I first moved to the UAE. But when you got sick earlier this year, the time zone conundrum got even worse. You'd start your day earlier. At 2am in Dubai, my notifications would start going off with messages, pictures and videos of your road to recovery, beating the Philippine sunrise to jog at a nearby park. Once you sent me a selfie after getting a haircut. Another time, you sent me one with your face swapped with that of a famous Filipino celebrity.

Although he never explicitly said he was proud of me, my father was always present for my major milestones. One Carlo Diaz / The National
Although he never explicitly said he was proud of me, my father was always present for my major milestones. One Carlo Diaz / The National

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't annoyed about the constant messages and your habitual disregard of the time difference. But over the last seven years, I got used to not replying immediately. And yes, there were many times when I purposely ignored you.

You pointed this in out in a six-minute voice note in September last year. But the truth is, I was using the time difference as an excuse to fault you for our imperfect relationship. We didn't have an easy one, and I found comfort in that deficit – four delicate hours of our incongruent realities further mismatching. It's not that I didn't want to live in your version of it, but that I created one that's allowed me to survive being away all these years.

That voice message got me thinking long and hard, Dad. It made me acknowledge my feelings, and how I should have confronted you and Mum to resolve my issues. We all missed the family crisis resolution workshop and I didn't have the courage to admit that I was enjoying being away a little too much. When you were admitted to hospital in June because of a rare medical condition, I knew it was going to change our dynamics as a family. It was embarrassingly late, but I promised myself I'd change.

Your incessant messaging stopped and you weren't looking good. Hospital staff would come in and out of your room and hope was wearing thin by the day. I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain you went through as well as the fear you had in that little isolation room – your stubbornness dimmed by this disease Mum couldn't even pronounce.

After a month in hospital, you were discharged and, almost immediately, the messages came back. We agreed to see out your recovery in the hope that you could visit me here in Dubai, see the life that I've created here and finally merge our realities once more.

At 1am in Dubai on July 29, just about sunrise in the Philippines, you told me: “Maybe we won't see each other in person any more.” That really hit me, because the last time I saw you in the flesh was five years ago. You're one of the most dramatic people I know – my friends would agree I inherited this trait from you – so I brushed it off. “No,” I said, and your response was just: “I love you, son.”

I slept with a dull ache in my heart that night, only to be woken up to see you fight for your life over video call. I was angry and confused, Dad. You were only 47. You weren't supposed to die so young. We were supposed to reunite for Christmas this year, fulfilling your dream of having a picture taken with the Burj Khalifa in the background. You were supposed to wait for me and give me the chance to finally reply to your six-minute voice message.

“I know I haven't been the best father to you and that's maybe why you are not talking to me any more,” you said in that audio recording. All I can do now is listen to it again and again, with no real resolution.

I'm not sure if there's a time difference between Dubai and wherever you are right now. I stare at your voice recording, hoping for another out-of-time, out-of-context message. But it never comes. And now, with my heart broken into pieces, all I can say is: “You were the best father to me, Dad. And I will never, ever forget you.”

Your only son,

Carlo

About Karol Nawrocki

• Supports military aid for Ukraine, unlike other eurosceptic leaders, but he will oppose its membership in western alliances.

• A nationalist, his campaign slogan was Poland First. "Let's help others, but let's take care of our own citizens first," he said on social media in April.

• Cultivates tough-guy image, posting videos of himself at shooting ranges and in boxing rings.

• Met Donald Trump at the White House and received his backing.

Skewed figures

In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458. 

TOP%2010%20MOST%20POLLUTED%20CITIES
%3Cp%3E1.%20Bhiwadi%2C%20India%0D%3Cbr%3E2.%20Ghaziabad%2C%20India%0D%3Cbr%3E3.%20Hotan%2C%20China%0D%3Cbr%3E4.%20Delhi%2C%20India%0D%3Cbr%3E5.%20Jaunpur%2C%20India%0D%3Cbr%3E6.%20Faisalabad%2C%20Pakistan%0D%3Cbr%3E7.%20Noida%2C%20India%0D%3Cbr%3E8.%20Bahawalpur%2C%20Pakistan%0D%3Cbr%3E9.%20Peshawar%2C%20Pakistan%0D%3Cbr%3E10.%20Bagpat%2C%20India%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cem%3ESource%3A%20IQAir%3C%2Fem%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The burning issue

The internal combustion engine is facing a watershed moment – major manufacturer Volvo is to stop producing petroleum-powered vehicles by 2021 and countries in Europe, including the UK, have vowed to ban their sale before 2040. The National takes a look at the story of one of the most successful technologies of the last 100 years and how it has impacted life in the UAE.

Part three: an affection for classic cars lives on

Read part two: how climate change drove the race for an alternative 

Read part one: how cars came to the UAE

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UAE jiu-jitsu squad

Men: Hamad Nawad and Khalid Al Balushi (56kg), Omar Al Fadhli and Saeed Al Mazroui (62kg), Taleb Al Kirbi and Humaid Al Kaabi (69kg), Mohammed Al Qubaisi and Saud Al Hammadi (70kg), Khalfan Belhol and Mohammad Haitham Radhi (85kg), Faisal Al Ketbi and Zayed Al Kaabi (94kg)

Women: Wadima Al Yafei and Mahra Al Hanaei (49kg), Bashayer Al Matrooshi and Hessa Al Shamsi (62kg)

EMERGENCY PHONE NUMBERS

Estijaba – 8001717 –  number to call to request coronavirus testing

Ministry of Health and Prevention – 80011111

Dubai Health Authority – 800342 – The number to book a free video or voice consultation with a doctor or connect to a local health centre

Emirates airline – 600555555

Etihad Airways – 600555666

Ambulance – 998

Knowledge and Human Development Authority – 8005432 ext. 4 for Covid-19 queries

Jetour T1 specs

Engine: 2-litre turbocharged

Power: 254hp

Torque: 390Nm

Price: From Dh126,000

Available: Now

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What can you do?

Document everything immediately; including dates, times, locations and witnesses

Seek professional advice from a legal expert

You can report an incident to HR or an immediate supervisor

You can use the Ministry of Human Resources and Emiratisation’s dedicated hotline

In criminal cases, you can contact the police for additional support

The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre flat-six
Power: 510hp at 9,000rpm
Torque: 450Nm at 6,100rpm
Transmission: 7-speed PDK auto or 6-speed manual
Fuel economy, combined: 13.8L/100km
On sale: Available to order now
Price: From Dh801,800
The%20Little%20Mermaid%20
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Rob%20Marshall%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EHalle%20Bailey%2C%20Jonah%20Hauer-King%2C%20Melissa%20McCarthy%2C%20Javier%20Bardem%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2%2F5%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The%20Sandman
%3Cp%3ECreators%3A%20Neil%20Gaiman%2C%20David%20Goyer%2C%20Allan%20Heinberg%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EStars%3A%20Tom%20Sturridge%2C%20Boyd%20Holbrook%2C%20Jenna%20Coleman%20and%20Gwendoline%20Christie%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3ERating%3A%204%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A

The Gentlemen

Director: Guy Ritchie

Stars: Colin Farrell, Hugh Grant 

Three out of five stars

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Specs%20
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%20train%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E4.0-litre%20twin-turbo%20V8%20and%20synchronous%20electric%20motor%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EMax%20power%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E800hp%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EMax%20torque%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E950Nm%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EEight-speed%20auto%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBattery%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E25.7kWh%20lithium-ion%3Cbr%3E0-100km%2Fh%3A%203.4sec%3Cbr%3E0-200km%2Fh%3A%2011.4sec%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETop%20speed%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E312km%2Fh%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EMax%20electric-only%20range%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2060km%20(claimed)%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Q3%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFrom%20Dh1.2m%20(estimate)%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The specs

Engine: 5.0-litre supercharged V8

Transmission: Eight-speed auto

Power: 575bhp

Torque: 700Nm

Price: Dh554,000

On sale: now

The specs: 2018 Chevrolet Trailblazer

Price, base / as tested Dh99,000 / Dh132,000

Engine 3.6L V6

Transmission: Six-speed automatic

Power 275hp @ 6,000rpm

Torque 350Nm @ 3,700rpm

Fuel economy combined 12.2L / 100km

The five pillars of Islam

1. Fasting

2. Prayer

3. Hajj

4. Shahada

5. Zakat 

The five pillars of Islam

1. Fasting

2. Prayer

3. Hajj

4. Shahada

5. Zakat 

The%20specs
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Twin-turbocharged%204-litre%20V8%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E542bhp%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E770Nm%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EEight-speed%20automatic%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFrom%20Dh1%2C450%2C000%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENow%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The specs: 2018 Nissan 370Z Nismo

The specs: 2018 Nissan 370Z Nismo
Price, base / as tested: Dh182,178
Engine: 3.7-litre V6
Power: 350hp @ 7,400rpm
Torque: 374Nm @ 5,200rpm
Transmission: Seven-speed automatic
​​​​​​​Fuel consumption, combined: 10.5L / 100km

While you're here
The years Ramadan fell in May

1987

1954

1921

1888

Updated: October 05, 2024, 9:36 AM`