I am not the person I was this time last year, and thank God for that.
This time last year, I was a version of myself I never imagined I would be – incredibly lonely, grieving, lost, with zero self-confidence and feeling like an absolute failure. I was about to file for divorce and, as dramatic as it sounds, it felt like my world was falling apart and there was nothing I could do to save it.
I moved to the UAE nearly 12 years ago to be with my partner, whom I was dating at the time. When I came to this country, I made the classic mistake of entirely embracing his world, instead of making one of my own.
So, when the split happened after 13 years of being together, I found myself all alone without my partner or people I had called friends, trapped in an apartment that was full of good and bad memories.
I went into survival mode, remembering how independent I was before I met him, and constantly reassured myself that being alone wasn't the end of the world
I didn't know what to do because everything that was familiar, known and safe was either tainted or simply did not exist anymore.
A friend recently pointed out that healing from a relationship that was healthy and happy for the most part is harder because walking away from a toxic relationship makes you feel like a weight is off your shoulders. It took me a long, long time to pick myself up again. I was constantly doubting myself and my abilities. I gave in to the crippling loneliness and cried myself to sleep for months.
Sometimes I got out of bed only because I had two cats to keep alive. I had to slap on a smile and head to work, which was the only thing keeping me going at the time.
Everything seemed overwhelming, from visiting the restaurants my ex-husband and I frequented to seeing happy couple pictures on social media. Even some songs and films would bring back those familiar memories. Cue more tears.
My partner and I had compartmentalised our lives in a way where we took care of specific things separately, and I was petrified I would make a grave error during the eventual moving process without him around to fix it. The cars, which were usually his department to deal with, felt like a liability, and the process of selling one felt overwhelming. As luck would have it, there was even some legal drama involved with the buyer, but it was ultimately resolved without my ex needing to get involved.
The hardest part, though, was moving to a different, and smaller, apartment. It took me an exceptionally long time because every little thing had a memory attached to it, and disposing of it made it increasingly apparent that I had to move forward by myself now.
And move forward I did.
Yes, I made mistakes along the way, but each one came with a lesson, that I could move on and tackle situations without falling back on him. I went into survival mode, remembering how independent I was before I met him, and constantly reassured myself that being alone wasn't the end of the world.
I had immense support from my parents, sister and friends back home – and I felt like I had to become a better version of myself if only for them.
It is only May, but this year has been life-changing. I've made a fresh start by moving into my own apartment; I have become more social; and I have set out to do things I’ve never done before – such as planning my first solo trip next month and signing up for salsa lessons when I am back.
I have also been slowly building my own circle of girl friends, some of whom are in a similar situation as me – single after long-term marriages. We check in on each other, on good days and bad, to ensure the other is never lonely, and do things we would probably do with our partners in our past lives.
Now I go to sleep reassured that I might have lost a life I had known, but at 39, I am building one that is brand new and full of exciting possibilities. I may have lost a soulmate, but I’ve found myself again.
F1 The Movie
Starring: Brad Pitt, Damson Idris, Kerry Condon, Javier Bardem
Director: Joseph Kosinski
Rating: 4/5
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Traits of Chinese zodiac animals
Tiger:independent, successful, volatile
Rat:witty, creative, charming
Ox:diligent, perseverent, conservative
Rabbit:gracious, considerate, sensitive
Dragon:prosperous, brave, rash
Snake:calm, thoughtful, stubborn
Horse:faithful, energetic, carefree
Sheep:easy-going, peacemaker, curious
Monkey:family-orientated, clever, playful
Rooster:honest, confident, pompous
Dog:loyal, kind, perfectionist
Boar:loving, tolerant, indulgent
ESSENTIALS
The flights
Emirates flies from Dubai to Phnom Penh via Yangon from Dh2,700 return including taxes. Cambodia Bayon Airlines and Cambodia Angkor Air offer return flights from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap from Dh250 return including taxes. The flight takes about 45 minutes.
The hotels
Rooms at the Raffles Le Royal in Phnom Penh cost from $225 (Dh826) per night including taxes. Rooms at the Grand Hotel d'Angkor cost from $261 (Dh960) per night including taxes.
The tours
A cyclo architecture tour of Phnom Penh costs from $20 (Dh75) per person for about three hours, with Khmer Architecture Tours. Tailor-made tours of all of Cambodia, or sites like Angkor alone, can be arranged by About Asia Travel. Emirates Holidays also offers packages.
Infiniti QX80 specs
Engine: twin-turbocharged 3.5-liter V6
Power: 450hp
Torque: 700Nm
Price: From Dh450,000, Autograph model from Dh510,000
Available: Now
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Most sought after workplace benefits in the UAE
- Flexible work arrangements
- Pension support
- Mental well-being assistance
- Insurance coverage for optical, dental, alternative medicine, cancer screening
- Financial well-being incentives
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Results
7pm: Wathba Stallions Cup – Handicap (PA) Dh70,000 (Dirt) 1,600m; Winner: RB Kings Bay, Abdul Aziz Al Balushi (jockey), Helal Al Alawi (trainer)
7.30pm: Maiden (PA) Dh 70,000 (D) 1,600m; Winner: AF Ensito, Fernando Jara, Mohamed Daggash
8pm: Maiden (PA) Dh70,000 (D) 1,400m; Winner: AF Sourouh, Tadhg O’Shea, Ernst Oertel
8.30pm: Maiden (PA) Dh70,000 (D) 1,800m; Winner: Baaher, Fabrice Veron, Eric Lemartinel
9pm: Maiden (PA) Dh70,000 (D) 2,000m; Winner: Mootahady, Antonio Fresu, Eric Lemartinel
9.30pm: Handicap (TB) Dh70,000 (D) 2,000m; Winner: Dubai Canal, Tadhg O’Shea, Satish Seemar
10pm: Al Ain Cup – Prestige (PA) Dh100,000 (D) 2,000m; Winner: Harrab, Bernardo Pinheiro, Majed Al Jahouri
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
The years Ramadan fell in May
The Bio
Name: Lynn Davison
Profession: History teacher at Al Yasmina Academy, Abu Dhabi
Children: She has one son, Casey, 28
Hometown: Pontefract, West Yorkshire in the UK
Favourite book: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Favourite Author: CJ Sansom
Favourite holiday destination: Bali
Favourite food: A Sunday roast
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4cyl turbo
Power: 261hp at 5,500rpm
Torque: 405Nm at 1,750-3,500rpm
Transmission: 9-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 6.9L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh117,059
THREE POSSIBLE REPLACEMENTS
Khalfan Mubarak
The Al Jazira playmaker has for some time been tipped for stardom within UAE football, with Quique Sanchez Flores, his former manager at Al Ahli, once labelling him a “genius”. He was only 17. Now 23, Mubarak has developed into a crafty supplier of chances, evidenced by his seven assists in six league matches this season. Still to display his class at international level, though.
Rayan Yaslam
The Al Ain attacking midfielder has become a regular starter for his club in the past 15 months. Yaslam, 23, is a tidy and intelligent player, technically proficient with an eye for opening up defences. Developed while alongside Abdulrahman in the Al Ain first-team and has progressed well since manager Zoran Mamic’s arrival. However, made his UAE debut only last December.
Ismail Matar
The Al Wahda forward is revered by teammates and a key contributor to the squad. At 35, his best days are behind him, but Matar is incredibly experienced and an example to his colleagues. His ability to cope with tournament football is a concern, though, despite Matar beginning the season well. Not a like-for-like replacement, although the system could be adjusted to suit.
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The candidates
Dr Ayham Ammora, scientist and business executive
Ali Azeem, business leader
Tony Booth, professor of education
Lord Browne, former BP chief executive
Dr Mohamed El-Erian, economist
Professor Wyn Evans, astrophysicist
Dr Mark Mann, scientist
Gina MIller, anti-Brexit campaigner
Lord Smith, former Cabinet minister
Sandi Toksvig, broadcaster
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