The world continues to watch in amazement as two of the world's most famous siblings, Princes William and Harry, endure a public fallout.
While Prince William, 40, has stayed tight-lipped about the reasons behind the feud, Prince Harry, 38, has made revelations about his family in a Netflix documentary, as well as in his bestselling book, Spare, in which he talks candidly about the state of his relationship with his brother.
While parents of young children can often cajole little ones into making up after a fight with a few words of encouragement or a stern warning about consequences, getting adult siblings to come together following an argument can be much more difficult, given the arguments grown-ups have are vastly different.
Parents should not act as messengers between adult siblings. This can escalate the problem
Mohamad Naamani,
clinical psychologist, Priory Wellbeing Centre, Dubai
As children grow, the main areas of conflict can include insecurity over comparing finances, status and achievement; caring for ageing parents; as well as different values and lifestyles. “Older siblings tend to fall out more over issues related to individual identity and preferences, and conflict in decisions and opinions related to important life decisions or family matters,” says Sonia Singhal, lead assessment specialist and counselling psychologist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre, Dubai.
“When it comes to older siblings who are in conflict, parents can try to be supportive and helpful, but unless both parties request their parents to intervene, it would be advised to let them resolve their issues by themselves,” says Singhal.
“If parents do get involved, the best approach in most situations might be to listen and validate both points of view, instead of taking sides or getting caught in the middle.”
When to step in, when to step back
“Older siblings are at a stage where they are capable of independently addressing their own problems in the way they find is suitable for them,” says Mohamad Naamani, clinical psychologist at Priory Wellbeing Centre, Dubai. “Parents should encourage older siblings to resolve their own problems to promote their sense of autonomy. However, it is also important that parents provide emotional support for both siblings as fairly as possible.”
Help and support your adult children to have realistic expectations of sibling relationships
Dr Tara Wynn,
clinical director, Lighthouse Arabia
Early intervention to avoid letting issues fester is the best course. Parents are also advised to acknowledge the gripes of both parties, instead of attempting to fix them.
“Parents should not act as messengers between adult siblings,” says Naamani. This can escalate the problem and further rupture the children's relationship with each other and with the parents as well.”
Allowing for space between siblings is advisable; however, experts suggest putting a time limit on siblings going without talking, to avoid the split from becoming permanent. “Letting the space become permanent can let adult siblings simply avoid their issues forever,” says Dr Tara Wynn, clinical psychologist and clinical director at Lighthouse Arabia. “The grudges and grievances can harden and calcify, and they can mistakenly assume they are better off or have no need for their sibling because they have learnt to live without them.”
Tips for parents to facilitate harmony
“When we are in a state of blame, we shut down and revert to black and white thinking,” says Denis Liam Murphy, author of The Blame Game: How to Recover from the World’s Oldest Addiction. “We look for the quick-fix rather than a big-picture solution. When we are out of blame, our default is curiosity, creativity and empathy. We then see in colour again where more doors of possibility are open.”
Wynn adds: “Give both parties a chance to name their grievance and also how they want the relationship to be and who they want to be in that relationship. Help and support your adult children to have realistic expectations and set healthy boundaries with their siblings.”
If mediation within the family unit hasn’t worked, parents should turn to outside help in the form of therapy to try and resolve issues.
“If adult siblings require therapy, the type of therapy will dictate who is involved,” says Wynn. “Typically, family therapy requires everyone to come together and then possibly see relevant units thereafter.
“Parents should make themselves available, but also peripheral if the focus should be on the siblings themselves.”
It's also important to note that adult sibling disagreements tend to start when they are still children. “The conflict typically derives from early-life sibling rivalries over parental preferences and favouritism,” says Wynn. “Adult siblings may still be vying for love, time and attention, and resultantly nurture resentments for inequalities that exist. Childhood roles and dynamics can be hard to shake, and siblings often rebel against those roles as adults.”
Consequently, it’s important for parents to understand that arguments or rivalries that begin in childhood may not automatically disappear when they are adults, making it important to address issues at any age.
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
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Send “thenational” to the following numbers or call the hotline on: 0502955999
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What is the FNC?
The Federal National Council is one of five federal authorities established by the UAE constitution. It held its first session on December 2, 1972, a year to the day after Federation.
It has 40 members, eight of whom are women. The members represent the UAE population through each of the emirates. Abu Dhabi and Dubai have eight members each, Sharjah and Ras al Khaimah six, and Ajman, Fujairah and Umm Al Quwain have four.
They bring Emirati issues to the council for debate and put those concerns to ministers summoned for questioning.
The FNC’s main functions include passing, amending or rejecting federal draft laws, discussing international treaties and agreements, and offering recommendations on general subjects raised during sessions.
Federal draft laws must first pass through the FNC for recommendations when members can amend the laws to suit the needs of citizens. The draft laws are then forwarded to the Cabinet for consideration and approval.
Since 2006, half of the members have been elected by UAE citizens to serve four-year terms and the other half are appointed by the Ruler’s Courts of the seven emirates.
In the 2015 elections, 78 of the 252 candidates were women. Women also represented 48 per cent of all voters and 67 per cent of the voters were under the age of 40.
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Veil (Object Lessons)
Rafia Zakaria
Bloomsbury Academic
Quick pearls of wisdom
Focus on gratitude: And do so deeply, he says. “Think of one to three things a day that you’re grateful for. It needs to be specific, too, don’t just say ‘air.’ Really think about it. If you’re grateful for, say, what your parents have done for you, that will motivate you to do more for the world.”
Know how to fight: Shetty married his wife, Radhi, three years ago (he met her in a meditation class before he went off and became a monk). He says they’ve had to learn to respect each other’s “fighting styles” – he’s a talk it-out-immediately person, while she needs space to think. “When you’re having an argument, remember, it’s not you against each other. It’s both of you against the problem. When you win, they lose. If you’re on a team you have to win together.”
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Tips to stay safe during hot weather
- Stay hydrated: Drink plenty of fluids, especially water. Avoid alcohol and caffeine, which can increase dehydration.
- Seek cool environments: Use air conditioning, fans, or visit community spaces with climate control.
- Limit outdoor activities: Avoid strenuous activity during peak heat. If outside, seek shade and wear a wide-brimmed hat.
- Dress appropriately: Wear lightweight, loose and light-coloured clothing to facilitate heat loss.
- Check on vulnerable people: Regularly check in on elderly neighbours, young children and those with health conditions.
- Home adaptations: Use blinds or curtains to block sunlight, avoid using ovens or stoves, and ventilate living spaces during cooler hours.
- Recognise heat illness: Learn the signs of heat exhaustion and heat stroke (dizziness, confusion, rapid pulse, nausea), and seek medical attention if symptoms occur.
What is blockchain?
Blockchain is a form of distributed ledger technology, a digital system in which data is recorded across multiple places at the same time. Unlike traditional databases, DLTs have no central administrator or centralised data storage. They are transparent because the data is visible and, because they are automatically replicated and impossible to be tampered with, they are secure.
The main difference between blockchain and other forms of DLT is the way data is stored as ‘blocks’ – new transactions are added to the existing ‘chain’ of past transactions, hence the name ‘blockchain’. It is impossible to delete or modify information on the chain due to the replication of blocks across various locations.
Blockchain is mostly associated with cryptocurrency Bitcoin. Due to the inability to tamper with transactions, advocates say this makes the currency more secure and safer than traditional systems. It is maintained by a network of people referred to as ‘miners’, who receive rewards for solving complex mathematical equations that enable transactions to go through.
However, one of the major problems that has come to light has been the presence of illicit material buried in the Bitcoin blockchain, linking it to the dark web.
Other blockchain platforms can offer things like smart contracts, which are automatically implemented when specific conditions from all interested parties are reached, cutting the time involved and the risk of mistakes. Another use could be storing medical records, as patients can be confident their information cannot be changed. The technology can also be used in supply chains, voting and has the potential to used for storing property records.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
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BIGGEST CYBER SECURITY INCIDENTS IN RECENT TIMES
SolarWinds supply chain attack: Came to light in December 2020 but had taken root for several months, compromising major tech companies, governments and its entities
Microsoft Exchange server exploitation: March 2021; attackers used a vulnerability to steal emails
Kaseya attack: July 2021; ransomware hit perpetrated REvil, resulting in severe downtime for more than 1,000 companies
Log4j breach: December 2021; attackers exploited the Java-written code to inflitrate businesses and governments
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
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Zayed Sustainability Prize
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Killing of Qassem Suleimani
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
