Whatever you choose to call them – grifters, scammers, con artists or catfish – there’s little question that fraudsters are enjoying a moment in the pop-culture sun. From The Tinder Swindler to Inventing Anna, shows about crimes of deception are topping Netflix’s viewing charts across the globe, while Sweet Bobby has been flying high in the international podcast charts for months. Clearly, swindlers sell. But for the victims of such crimes, seeing them mined for entertainment comes with mixed emotions.
“Making people aware of the risks is important, but I’ve found it very frustrating to hear people question whether the women in these shows are stupid,” says Grace Thomson (name changed upon request), who is from South Africa. “Because I can totally understand how easy it was for them to get sucked in. And I know how their mental health will be affected for years to come.”
More than a decade ago, Thomson, 44, developed what appeared to her to be an online friendship with a man on Twitter. They never met in person, but when a woman claiming to be the man’s girlfriend got in touch alleging an affair, Thomson cut off contact. It was not enough. The woman began turning up in Thomson’s street, leading to a stalking report being made to police.
Once I got the police involved, I learned he had a long history of domestic abuse, but he was freely allowed to use [dating sites] to find his victims
Elaine Parker,
victim
Months later, Thomson met another man online. “We chatted for maybe two or three months and seemed to really like each other. We started to talk every day, sharing more personal conversations. He said he lived nearby, so we arranged to meet up. I was feeling really excited about our first date.
“Then, on the day, I was getting ready when my phone started beeping with loads of horrible, threatening messages — so many that, to this day, I can’t hear that message alert without it triggering a trauma response. There were so many messages. They were really, really nasty. And they didn’t stop.”
It turned out the potential love interest Thomson had been talking to was actually two people — her stalker and the man she had previously thought of as a friend. “Their harassment was extremely traumatic and affected me for a very long time,” she says. “I’m still extremely cautious. Whenever I meet someone new, I always wonder if they are who they say they are, or if they’re connected to them somehow.”
It’s a fear that’s not unfamiliar to Briton Elaine Parker, 42, the founder and chief executive of Safer Date, a new dating app that carries out extensive ID and global criminal record checks on its members to reduce the risk of fraud. Parker created the app after a horrific ordeal with a man she met on a popular dating website.
“What started out as a sweep-you-off-your-feet scenario turned into my worst nightmare,” she explains. “He put me through months of domestic abuse, sexual assault, rape, stalking and harassment. Once I got the police involved, I learned he had a long history of domestic abuse, but he was freely allowed [to use dating sites] to find his victims. He is now in prison for what he did to me, and on the sex offender's register in Britain for life – but when he gets out next year, there is nothing to stop him going back to online dating.”
The idea that Parker was “swept off her feet” is no surprise to Catherine Asta, a psychotherapist who often works with women overcoming trauma and abuse. Crimes of deception are particularly damaging to the mental health of victims, she says, precisely because they rely on the development of genuine connection.
“It’s premeditated, and it’s carried out at a deep emotional level,” Asta explains. “A fraudster creates something that they know you want and need, starting with a false narrative. You are preyed-upon and targeted for your vulnerability, need for connection and ability to trust. Where there’s a romantic element involved, there’s also optimism bias, because nobody is on a dating app looking for monsters. We want to trust people. It’s human nature.”
They [victims] may question their ability to make decisions in future, lose faith in themselves as a good judge of character, become risk-averse
Catherine Asta,
psychotherapist
Parker agrees, saying this upturning of expectations stayed with her long after her abuser was jailed. “It had a profound effect on me,” she says. “I felt ashamed, embarrassed and really weak and, due to the love-bombing and gaslighting I experienced, I doubted my own sanity at times. I still struggle greatly with self-confidence.”
Thomson, too, says the total destruction of her sense of trust led her to withdraw from much of life. “It’s been 10 years now and, while it’s not as obvious, I still feel very vulnerable,” she says. “I left Twitter altogether and while I’m on Instagram now, it took me a very long time to feel OK with setting up an account there, let alone posting photos or videos of myself. For five or six years, I didn’t do the things I wanted to do in life because of the fear and trauma.”
Asta says withdrawing from society is a common response among victims of deception. “They may question their ability to make decisions in future, lose faith in themselves as a good judge of character, become risk-averse, and even withdraw and isolate themselves from any future possibility for betrayal, resulting in loneliness and disconnection.
“Often, victims can remain emotionally attached to the romanticised version of the perpetrator that hooked them in, even after the breach of trust is revealed. They may suffer from symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder.”
This, Asta says, is why it’s so important for victims to seek professional help. “Shame keeps our stories hidden. But what everyone needs to know is that fraudsters are experts in human behaviour. They use deliberate psychological techniques designed to manipulate you into ignoring your own instincts. They tap into your inherent cognitive biases. They are highly skilled criminals who know how to hook you in.
“The most important thing to do is to open up and speak about your experiences, acknowledging the deep emotional impact. Self-compassion and self-understanding is key to healing.”
For Parker, healing has come from channelling her energy into a business she hopes will spare others the ordeal of catfishing. “There is no legal standard for the dating industry, and dating companies are not held responsible for crimes that happen on their platforms,” she says. “They're making billions of dollars worldwide, and do nothing to protect their customers, so it's important to educate people by any means possible. I openly talk about my story now as I want to get rid of the stigma and encourage others to do the same. Keeping it all to yourself makes it so much harder to recover.”
Meanwhile, for Thomson, regaining trust in others is an ongoing battle she is determined to win. “As humans, we don’t go into new friendships or relationships thinking someone is going to be evil or awful. Even after trauma, you still want to believe that people are largely good. That’s why it genuinely doesn’t matter if you’re highly intelligent or not. This really could happen to anybody."
Zayed Sustainability Prize
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Zayed Sustainability Prize
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F1 The Movie
Starring: Brad Pitt, Damson Idris, Kerry Condon, Javier Bardem
Director: Joseph Kosinski
Rating: 4/5
The years Ramadan fell in May
Red flags
- Promises of high, fixed or 'guaranteed' returns.
- Unregulated structured products or complex investments often used to bypass traditional safeguards.
- Lack of clear information, vague language, no access to audited financials.
- Overseas companies targeting investors in other jurisdictions - this can make legal recovery difficult.
- Hard-selling tactics - creating urgency, offering 'exclusive' deals.
Courtesy: Carol Glynn, founder of Conscious Finance Coaching
The years Ramadan fell in May
The years Ramadan fell in May
'The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window'
Director:Michael Lehmann
Stars:Kristen Bell
Rating: 1/5
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Qyubic
Started: October 2023
Founder: Namrata Raina
Based: Dubai
Sector: E-commerce
Current number of staff: 10
Investment stage: Pre-seed
Initial investment: Undisclosed
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
More from Rashmee Roshan Lall
Heavily-sugared soft drinks slip through the tax net
Some popular drinks with high levels of sugar and caffeine have slipped through the fizz drink tax loophole, as they are not carbonated or classed as an energy drink.
Arizona Iced Tea with lemon is one of those beverages, with one 240 millilitre serving offering up 23 grams of sugar - about six teaspoons.
A 680ml can of Arizona Iced Tea costs just Dh6.
Most sports drinks sold in supermarkets were found to contain, on average, five teaspoons of sugar in a 500ml bottle.
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The five pillars of Islam
How much do leading UAE’s UK curriculum schools charge for Year 6?
- Nord Anglia International School (Dubai) – Dh85,032
- Kings School Al Barsha (Dubai) – Dh71,905
- Brighton College Abu Dhabi - Dh68,560
- Jumeirah English Speaking School (Dubai) – Dh59,728
- Gems Wellington International School – Dubai Branch – Dh58,488
- The British School Al Khubairat (Abu Dhabi) - Dh54,170
- Dubai English Speaking School – Dh51,269
*Annual tuition fees covering the 2024/2025 academic year
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Countries recognising Palestine
France, UK, Canada, Australia, Portugal, Belgium, Malta, Luxembourg, San Marino and Andorra
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Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Zayed Sustainability Prize
Read more about the coronavirus
Essentials
The flights
Etihad and Emirates fly direct from the UAE to Delhi from about Dh950 return including taxes.
The hotels
Double rooms at Tijara Fort-Palace cost from 6,670 rupees (Dh377), including breakfast.
Doubles at Fort Bishangarh cost from 29,030 rupees (Dh1,641), including breakfast. Doubles at Narendra Bhawan cost from 15,360 rupees (Dh869). Doubles at Chanoud Garh cost from 19,840 rupees (Dh1,122), full board. Doubles at Fort Begu cost from 10,000 rupees (Dh565), including breakfast.
The tours
Amar Grover travelled with Wild Frontiers. A tailor-made, nine-day itinerary via New Delhi, with one night in Tijara and two nights in each of the remaining properties, including car/driver, costs from £1,445 (Dh6,968) per person.
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The National's picks
4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young
The five pillars of Islam
1. Fasting
2. Prayer
3. Hajj
4. Shahada
5. Zakat
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Important questions to consider
1. Where on the plane does my pet travel?
There are different types of travel available for pets:
- Manifest cargo
- Excess luggage in the hold
- Excess luggage in the cabin
Each option is safe. The feasibility of each option is based on the size and breed of your pet, the airline they are traveling on and country they are travelling to.
2. What is the difference between my pet traveling as manifest cargo or as excess luggage?
If traveling as manifest cargo, your pet is traveling in the front hold of the plane and can travel with or without you being on the same plane. The cost of your pets travel is based on volumetric weight, in other words, the size of their travel crate.
If traveling as excess luggage, your pet will be in the rear hold of the plane and must be traveling under the ticket of a human passenger. The cost of your pets travel is based on the actual (combined) weight of your pet in their crate.
3. What happens when my pet arrives in the country they are traveling to?
As soon as the flight arrives, your pet will be taken from the plane straight to the airport terminal.
If your pet is traveling as excess luggage, they will taken to the oversized luggage area in the arrival hall. Once you clear passport control, you will be able to collect them at the same time as your normal luggage. As you exit the airport via the ‘something to declare’ customs channel you will be asked to present your pets travel paperwork to the customs official and / or the vet on duty.
If your pet is traveling as manifest cargo, they will be taken to the Animal Reception Centre. There, their documentation will be reviewed by the staff of the ARC to ensure all is in order. At the same time, relevant customs formalities will be completed by staff based at the arriving airport.
4. How long does the travel paperwork and other travel preparations take?
This depends entirely on the location that your pet is traveling to. Your pet relocation compnay will provide you with an accurate timeline of how long the relevant preparations will take and at what point in the process the various steps must be taken.
In some cases they can get your pet ‘travel ready’ in a few days. In others it can be up to six months or more.
5. What vaccinations does my pet need to travel?
Regardless of where your pet is traveling, they will need certain vaccinations. The exact vaccinations they need are entirely dependent on the location they are traveling to. The one vaccination that is mandatory for every country your pet may travel to is a rabies vaccination.
Other vaccinations may also be necessary. These will be advised to you as relevant. In every situation, it is essential to keep your vaccinations current and to not miss a due date, even by one day. To do so could severely hinder your pets travel plans.
Source: Pawsome Pets UAE
EA Sports FC 26
Publisher: EA Sports
Consoles: PC, PlayStation 4/5, Xbox Series X/S
Rating: 3/5
City's slump
L - Juventus, 2-0
D - C Palace, 2-2
W - N Forest, 3-0
L - Liverpool, 2-0
D - Feyenoord, 3-3
L - Tottenham, 4-0
L - Brighton, 2-1
L - Sporting, 4-1
L - Bournemouth, 2-1
L - Tottenham, 2-1
Results
5.30pm Maiden (TB) Dh82,500 (Turf) 1,400m
Winner Spirit Of Light, Clement Lecoeuvre (jockey), Erwan Charpy (trainer)
6.05pm Maiden (TB) Dh82,500 (Dirt) 1,900m
Winner Bright Start, Pat Cosgrave, Saeed bin Suroor
6.40pm Handicap (TB) Dh92,500 (D) 2,000m
Winner Twelfthofneverland, Nathan Crosse, Satish Seemar
7.15pm Handicap (TB) Dh85,000 (T) 1,600m
Winner Imperial Empire, Tadhg O’Shea, Satish Seemar
7.50pm Handicap (TB) Dh92,500 (T) 2,000m
Winner Record Man, Tadhg O’Shea, Satish Seemar
8.25pm Handicap (TB) Dh92,500 (D) 1,600m
Winner Celtic Prince, Fabrice Veron, Rashed Bouresly
The specs
Engine: 8.0-litre, quad-turbo 16-cylinder
Transmission: 7-speed auto
0-100kmh 2.3 seconds
0-200kmh 5.5 seconds
0-300kmh 11.6 seconds
Power: 1500hp
Torque: 1600Nm
Price: Dh13,400,000
On sale: now
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