Years from now, not everyone will remember what they were doing the day the world came to halt owing to the Covid-19 pandemic. But it’s something Maha Gorton will never forget. When the UK went into lockdown in March 2020, Gorton had just had her second mastectomy in London.
Her doctors told her the surgery had been successful – however, they had also now found DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ), which is a non-invasive, early form of breast cancer found inside milk ducts, in her other breast. She would need another operation.
Gorton, who lives in Dubai, wears many hats. She is a mother of three, the designer behind the children’s accessories label Little Farasha, and also an influencer who has worked with luxury brands such as Cartier and Carolina Herrera.
Over the course of three years, she underwent four different operations to help treat her DCIS, and having to admit herself, alone, into the hospital for her final surgery during the pandemic was one of the toughest moments of Gorton’s journey. “I wasn’t allowed to have anyone with me because of Covid protocols,” she tells The National.
She recalls the moment after the surgery that her doctor gave her the all-clear. “We both sat there crying with happiness, laughing, and crying, and she just looked at me with tears pouring down her face and said: ‘Oh what I would do to give you a hug right now’. Covid took that human element away, and that was very difficult.”
A three-year journey with DCIS
Gorton was first diagnosed with ductal carcinoma in situ during an annual check-up in 2017. After having an ultrasound, MRI and mammogram, it was confirmed that all quadrants of her breast were filled with DCIS, so she underwent a bilateral mastectomy, or removal of both breasts. She believed that was the end of it.
However, in 2019, doctors discovered that the cancer had returned. Gorton travelled to London to get a lumpectomy. She then spoke to many doctors, who all agreed that she would need another bilateral mastectomy, which Gorton had in March 2020.
“It was much more extensive than the first time, and when they gave me the results after that, they said: ‘Okay this side is clear, but now we’ve found DCIS on the side that was healthy.’ That was my third diagnosis,” says Gorton. “Unfortunately, the UK had gone into lockdown that day. So I couldn’t do anything right away, and I had my last surgery, which was the final one, in October of 2020.”
Prioritising health and screening
While Gorton’s cancer journey has been incredibly challenging – particularly the toll it took on her children – her outlook has remained exceptionally positive. “It has been such a blessing and such a gift,” she says. "I was so lucky that it was found so early and I’m so grateful that I never one day said: ‘Why me?’”
Gorton urges women to be vigilant with detection and screening, from monthly self-examinations to annual check-ups.
“Don’t be scared that they’ll find something, be scared that they’ll miss it,” she says. “We all prioritise our partners’ engagements and appointments, or whatever our parents ask of us, or our kids, or work, and all of these things are so important, but the top priority is our health, because you can’t do any of those things if you aren’t healthy. I always tell people: ‘Your check-ups are non-negotiable.’”
Self-acceptance and embracing uncertainty
Gorton says the lessons learnt have been life-changing, especially when it comes to self-love and setting boundaries.
“You’re forced into a different place where you look at your life, and yourself, differently, and you value yourself, your strength and what’s important – what’s benefitting you, what’s hurting you, what your priorities are, and how you spend your days and your life,” she explains.
“The biggest thing for me is that it taught me the value of self-love and self-acceptance, which is something I had always struggled with. Suddenly, you have to accept for the first time this new image of yourself. That was very difficult emotionally, to learn to accept the scars, and the new me, but it was a blessing, and I am so grateful for everything that I learnt through it.”
Experiencing much of her cancer diagnosis, treatment and recovery during the pandemic – at times alone – also taught Gorton valuable lessons, such as accepting things she cannot control. “Covid forced me to accept uncertainty,” she says.
“I’ve never been someone who likes uncertainty, I plan my life and days to a military level, but with Covid, plus not knowing that I had cancer cells still in my body, not knowing when it would be operated on, and whether it was spreading, there were a lot of question marks. I had to find acceptance with uncertainty at such an extreme level.”
Gorton recalls the major and minor moments and memories that helped her get through her cancer journey: her children, she says, were the biggest motivation for her to stay strong and positive. “People don’t necessarily remember your journey, but they’ll always remember how you went through your journey, and you will always remember that,” she says.
A small thing that gave her comfort and solace was the sunset. “It’s that cyclical moment where you always know there’s still tomorrow, there’s another day – it’s going to end and start again.”
