"Good afternoon. We'd like to meet the fon." Rob limps up to the gate of the royal palace and presents our request for an audience with the local king to a woman wearing a patterned frock and flip-flops. This, it turns out, is Ma Marie, Her Majesty the Queen herself - or one of them, anyway, for the fon of Bafut has over 40 wives.
We're near the heart of Cameroon's Ring Road country, also known as the Grassfields, where a line of barely navigable dirt track traces a rough circuit through mountainous pastures and forests that brush the Nigerian border. For those who can bear the driving conditions, layers of sharply undulating hills stretch into a hazy horizon, covering a land dotted by volcanic crater lakes, waterfalls and grass-thatched palaces inhabited by local chieftains and kings, or fons. The fon of Bafut is a paramount lord of the area.
The young queen regards us, a ragtag bunch, with a measure of scepticism. Following a spill on his motorcycle, Rob is hobbling along on a swollen ankle, which he later learns is actually fractured, while Luke, Roger and I have caked ourselves with red dust by circuiting most of the Ring Road at a breakneck pace of two days.
The route to Bafut involves a collection of different drivers, the oddest of whom, a local road engineer named Peter, speaks only in a high-pitched falsetto voice. We find him through the owner of a restaurant where we've broken the journey. For about US$40 (Dh147), Peter gives us three spaces in the back of the cab of his pickup for the 110 kilometres from Nkambe to Wum, the northernmost and worst segment of the ring road.
"I am not a transport company!" Peter squeals disconcertingly when the restaurant owner demanded a tip for his referral. "Don't disturb my mind!" The mood turns sour, and the altercation nearly gets us booted from the back of the cab.
We finally set off, the pickup crawling along for hours, pitching itself into the track's deep ditches and then crawling out again. "You come to see us suffer!" Peter says, his voice as high as a Puccini aria. "Now do you see how we suffer?" The condition of the road is bad enough, but the driver's voice is downright disturbing.
We eventually reach Wum, and the following day, Bafut, but with so much hard travel, we barely have time to enjoy the scenery. This explains the state we're in when we finally approach the royal palace.
Alas, it turns out one can't just walk up to the fon and shake his hand. "Meeting the fon," Ma Marie explains softly, "is very expensive."
First, one must request a special dance performance, which will cost about $30 (Dh110); next, one must invest in a suitable gift, the fon's preference being a case of Amstel. The fon will then make his appearance.
"I'm happy not to meet the fon and just take the tour," says Rob.
"Seems a bit dear," Luke agrees.
After high-tailing it around the Ring Road in an effort to make the most of our time, I'm realising the value of things left unplanned. A journey needs space to breathe, for too much scheduling can suffocate the unexpected, the strange serendipity that make travel so rewarding. This meeting with the fon seems too staged. We decline.
Instead, we tour the palace grounds with the queen as our guide, ending outside the Achum, a holy inner sanctum covered by a pyramidal thatched roof where the fon communicates with his ancestors. We sit in silence, savouring the quiet atmosphere of the walled compound.
"So the tour is over now," Ma Marie says. She pauses a few beats. "Don't you have something for me?" she asks me directly. "After all your inquisitiveness? Some biscuits, perhaps?"
I'm taken aback. We did ask her a lot of questions, particularly about her marriage to the fon. But we've already paid the entrance, guide and camera fees. I cover the awkward moment with a smile and the bare truth, which is that I'm bearing no biscuits - nor any gifts worthy of a queen, for although a monetary tip may have sufficed, a few coins hardly seem right for royalty.
I've been solicited for gifts endless times in Africa, usually by children who ask for cadeaux, and I've had some strange and unexpected encounters in my travels. But having a queen ask me for biscuits - well, that's something I really hadn't planned for.
"Normally I'd invite you out for a drink," I finally say to Ma Marie. "But I don't think the fon would be too pleased with that. Would he?"
"No," the queen replies, gently as ever. "He wouldn't." Strange serendipity has its limits.
Scott MacMillan is blogging about his journey on his website, www.wanderingsavage.com
A State of Passion
Directors: Carol Mansour and Muna Khalidi
Stars: Dr Ghassan Abu-Sittah
Rating: 4/5
Company%20profile
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LA LIGA FIXTURES
Friday (UAE kick-off times)
Real Sociedad v Leganes (midnight)
Saturday
Alaves v Real Valladolid (4pm)
Valencia v Granada (7pm)
Eibar v Real Madrid (9.30pm)
Barcelona v Celta Vigo (midnight)
Sunday
Real Mallorca v Villarreal (3pm)
Athletic Bilbao v Levante (5pm)
Atletico Madrid v Espanyol (7pm)
Getafe v Osasuna (9.30pm)
Real Betis v Sevilla (midnight)
JOKE'S%20ON%20YOU
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T20 World Cup Qualifier
October 18 – November 2
Opening fixtures
Friday, October 18
ICC Academy: 10am, Scotland v Singapore, 2.10pm, Netherlands v Kenya
Zayed Cricket Stadium: 2.10pm, Hong Kong v Ireland, 7.30pm, Oman v UAE
UAE squad
Ahmed Raza (captain), Rohan Mustafa, Ashfaq Ahmed, Rameez Shahzad, Darius D’Silva, Mohammed Usman, Mohammed Boota, Zawar Farid, Ghulam Shabber, Junaid Siddique, Sultan Ahmed, Imran Haider, Waheed Ahmed, Chirag Suri, Zahoor Khan
Players out: Mohammed Naveed, Shaiman Anwar, Qadeer Ahmed
Players in: Junaid Siddique, Darius D’Silva, Waheed Ahmed
Ms Yang's top tips for parents new to the UAE
- Join parent networks
- Look beyond school fees
- Keep an open mind
Specs
Engine: Dual-motor all-wheel-drive electric
Range: Up to 610km
Power: 905hp
Torque: 985Nm
Price: From Dh439,000
Available: Now
Company profile
Name: Infinite8
Based: Dubai
Launch year: 2017
Number of employees: 90
Sector: Online gaming industry
Funding: $1.2m from a UAE angel investor
More on animal trafficking
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
Started: 2021
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
Based: Tunisia
Sector: Water technology
Number of staff: 22
Investment raised: $4 million
Election pledges on migration
CDU: "Now is the time to control the German borders and enforce strict border rejections"
SPD: "Border closures and blanket rejections at internal borders contradict the spirit of a common area of freedom"
HWJN
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Results:
5pm: Handicap (PA) | Dh80,000 | 1,600 metres
Winner: Dasan Da, Saeed Al Mazrooei (jockey), Helal Al Alawi (trainer)
5.30pm: Maiden (PA) | Dh80,000 | 1,600m
Winner: AF Saabah, Tadhg O’Shea, Ernst Oertel
6pm: Handicap (PA) | Dh80,000 | 1,600m
Winner: Mukaram, Pat Cosgrave, Eric Lemartinel
6.30pm: Handicap (PA) | Dh80,000 | 2,200m
Winner: MH Tawag, Richard Mullen, Elise Jeanne
7pm: Wathba Stallions Cup Handicap (PA) | Dh70,000 | 1,400m
Winner: RB Inferno, Fabrice Veron, Ismail Mohammed
7.30pm: Handicap (TB) | Dh100,000 | 1,600m
Winner: Juthoor, Jim Crowley, Erwan Charpy
The biog
Favourite films: Casablanca and Lawrence of Arabia
Favourite books: Start with Why by Simon Sinek and Good to be Great by Jim Collins
Favourite dish: Grilled fish
Inspiration: Sheikh Zayed's visionary leadership taught me to embrace new challenges.
In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe
Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash per year – amount has trebled since 2010
Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille
Extortion: Gunman demanded 100,000 Swedish crowns ($10,000) from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm
Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-narcotics investigators to be high as $500 million a year
Denmark: PKK one of two terror groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”
Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families, and thousands from business owners
TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links
Squad
Ali Kasheif, Salim Rashid, Khalifa Al Hammadi, Khalfan Mubarak, Ali Mabkhout, Omar Abdulrahman, Mohammed Al Attas, Abdullah Ramadan, Zayed Al Ameri (Al Jazira), Mohammed Al Shamsi, Hamdan Al Kamali, Mohammed Barghash, Khalil Al Hammadi (Al Wahda), Khalid Essa, Mohammed Shaker, Ahmed Barman, Bandar Al Ahbabi (Al Ain), Al Hassan Saleh, Majid Suroor (Sharjah) Walid Abbas, Ahmed Khalil (Shabab Al Ahli), Tariq Ahmed, Jasim Yaqoub (Al Nasr), Ali Saleh, Ali Salmeen (Al Wasl), Hassan Al Muharami (Baniyas)
Company%20Profile
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2025 Fifa Club World Cup groups
Group A: Palmeiras, Porto, Al Ahly, Inter Miami.
Group B: Paris Saint-Germain, Atletico Madrid, Botafogo, Seattle.
Group C: Bayern Munich, Auckland City, Boca Juniors, Benfica.
Group D: Flamengo, ES Tunis, Chelsea, (Leon banned).
Group E: River Plate, Urawa, Monterrey, Inter Milan.
Group F: Fluminense, Borussia Dortmund, Ulsan, Mamelodi Sundowns.
Group G: Manchester City, Wydad, Al Ain, Juventus.
Group H: Real Madrid, Al Hilal, Pachuca, Salzburg.
The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre, twin-turbocharged V8
Transmission: nine-speed automatic
Power: 630bhp
Torque: 900Nm
Price: Dh810,000
The specs: 2018 Audi RS5
Price, base: Dh359,200
Engine: 2.9L twin-turbo V6
Transmission: Eight-speed automatic
Power: 450hp at 5,700rpm
Torque: 600Nm at 1,900rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 8.7L / 100km
West Asia Premiership
Dubai Hurricanes 58-10 Dubai Knights Eagles
Dubai Tigers 5-39 Bahrain
Jebel Ali Dragons 16-56 Abu Dhabi Harlequins
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
At a glance
- 20,000 new jobs for Emiratis over three years
- Dh300 million set aside to train 18,000 jobseekers in new skills
- Managerial jobs in government restricted to Emiratis
- Emiratis to get priority for 160 types of job in private sector
- Portion of VAT revenues will fund more graduate programmes
- 8,000 Emirati graduates to do 6-12 month replacements in public or private sector on a Dh10,000 monthly wage - 40 per cent of which will be paid by government
