Atlantis, The Palm in Dubai has been dubbed the "most ridiculous hotel in the world", but that doesn't come close. Baroque, absurd, kitsch beyond Elton John's wildest dreams: the lobby is filled by a giant glass fountain, all blues and yellows and reds, designed to look like giant coral rising some 20 metres, and surrounded by large columns that look as if they are encrusted by sea shells. It is ghastly. In fact, the hotel looks as though it has been designed by an eight-year old as a place to house her impressive collection of Barbie dolls. Instead of a solitary goldfish, she also came up with the idea of having a giant aquarium full of fish. Her best idea was Aquaventure, the giant waterpark in the grounds, full of waterslides and play areas for all ages.
The Palm Jumeirah is the glitziest part of the Gulf's loudest city. To reach Atlantis, you go through a tunnel under the sea, before emerging for air at the tip of the island. This is fine, although in busy times, you can expect a wait either in the tunnel or on the other side, as the rest of the Palm dwellers get into their cars at the same time. One day you will be able to catch the monorail from the city; now you just hear the sound of welding as you lie on your sun-lounger.
The hotel has cleverly shipped in a core of trained workers from Paradise Island, Sol Kerzner's hotel in the Bahamas. Everyone was friendly and jolly, even when they were quite useless. Our Japanese American waitress called Tammy was possibly the most charming and professional meal transportation technician I have ever had the pleasure of running across.
Dominated by a large, very comfortable bed, with a cunning arrangement in which the bath is hidden by a pair of wooden shutters that if opened, give you a view from the tub over Dubai. The room was good and almost tasteful, which cannot be said about the carpet in the corridor. There was a small terrace with a table and chairs.
Some 17 restaurants are dotted among the resort ranging from Japanese sushi to a French brasserie to a beach bar. Nobu's was spectacular, although my wife complained about the interior and I found the chairs unnecessarily hard. Breakfasts were enormous buffets of almost every cuisine imaginable and once you get over the irritation of serving yourself, rather enjoyable. Biggest nonsense was at Ronda Locatelli, an Italian restaurant. Despite my wife having reserved a table, when we arrived we were told to wait for five minutes, even though the place was half empty. We went instead to Rostang, a French brasserie. It was almost like being back on the Left Bank.
This is the place where everybody tries to dress like a 25-year old, even if they are 60. Russian models mix with Arab playboys, German businessmen with English consultants who try not to mention the war. This is the place to come if you are a child, or view the world with a child's eye. There is lots of entertainment and recreations for those under three feet tall, including kid's clubs and and a games room. No building in Dubai is complete without shops, and this is no different. If you get bored - how could you? - you can dispel the blues by heading to Tiffany's.
The spa. Had a massage from David, who while he may not have been the prettiest masseur I have ever had - apparently it's illegal in Dubai for a man to have a female masseur and vice versa - he was jolly handy with his hot stones. The complex is nicely designed, very restrained in comparison to the rest of the hotel, with stone floors, candles and running water, a splendid steam room, sauna and Jacuzzi and large heated stone chairs to lounge in.
Also loved the fish. There is a large cylinder full of sardines, prettier than any Damien Hirst, prehistoric crabs you can pick up and touch (but not eat) and of course, 52,000 other marine animals, including Sammy the whale shark, who everybody tells you is about to be released. There is also Dolphin Park, where you can kiss and cuddle dolphins if you so choose.
Having to pay for the internet. It may have been a good money spinner for hotels ten years ago, but now they need to give it for free or risk looking mean. What will they charge for next? The air-conditioning? The murals and much of the décor. Sometimes less really is more.
If you want sunshine, scary waterslides, celebrity restaurants and beaches with a stunning view of the Dubai skyline, this is the place to be. Everybody should visit this place once in their life - although many are unlikely to want to return. However, my children have decided that this is their favourite hotel in the world. They can go on their own, without my gold card.
Doubles at Atlantis (www.atlantisthepalm.com; 04 226 0000) cost from Dh1,660 per night excluding breakfast (Dh140).
Company Profile
Company name: OneOrder
Started: October 2021
Founders: Tamer Amer and Karim Maurice
Based: Cairo, Egypt
Industry: technology, logistics
Investors: A15 and self-funded
Indoor cricket in a nutshell
Indoor Cricket World Cup – Sep 16-20, Insportz, Dubai
16 Indoor cricket matches are 16 overs per side
8 There are eight players per team
9 There have been nine Indoor Cricket World Cups for men. Australia have won every one.
5 Five runs are deducted from the score when a wickets falls
4 Batsmen bat in pairs, facing four overs per partnership
Scoring In indoor cricket, runs are scored by way of both physical and bonus runs. Physical runs are scored by both batsmen completing a run from one crease to the other. Bonus runs are scored when the ball hits a net in different zones, but only when at least one physical run is score.
Zones
A Front net, behind the striker and wicketkeeper: 0 runs
B Side nets, between the striker and halfway down the pitch: 1 run
C Side nets between halfway and the bowlers end: 2 runs
D Back net: 4 runs on the bounce, 6 runs on the full
On racial profiling at airports
MO
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECreators%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EMohammed%20Amer%2C%20Ramy%20Youssef%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EMohammed%20Amer%2C%20Teresa%20Ruiz%2C%20Omar%20Elba%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%204%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
'Jurassic%20World%20Dominion'
%3Cp%3EDirector%3A%20Colin%20Trevorrow%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EStars%3A%20Sam%20Neill%2C%20Laura%20Dern%2C%20Jeff%20Goldblum%2C%20Bryce%20Dallas%20Howard%2C%20Chris%20Pratt%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3ERating%3A%204%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
DUNGEONS%20%26%20DRAGONS%3A%20HONOR%20AMONG%20THIEVES
%3Cp%3EDirectors%3A%20John%20Francis%20Daley%20and%20Jonathan%20Goldstein%3Cbr%3EStars%3A%20Chris%20Pine%2C%20Michelle%20Rodriguez%2C%20Rege-Jean%20Page%2C%20Justice%20Smith%2C%20Sophia%20Lillis%3Cbr%3ERating%3A%203%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Test
Director: S Sashikanth
Cast: Nayanthara, Siddharth, Meera Jasmine, R Madhavan
Star rating: 2/5
Real estate tokenisation project
Dubai launched the pilot phase of its real estate tokenisation project last month.
The initiative focuses on converting real estate assets into digital tokens recorded on blockchain technology and helps in streamlining the process of buying, selling and investing, the Dubai Land Department said.
Dubai’s real estate tokenisation market is projected to reach Dh60 billion ($16.33 billion) by 2033, representing 7 per cent of the emirate’s total property transactions, according to the DLD.
'HIJRAH%3A%20IN%20THE%20FOOTSTEPS%20OF%20THE%20PROPHET'
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEdited%20by%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Idries%20Trevathan%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPages%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20240%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPublisher%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Hirmer%20Publishers%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EAvailable%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Now%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
At a glance
Global events: Much of the UK’s economic woes were blamed on “increased global uncertainty”, which can be interpreted as the economic impact of the Ukraine war and the uncertainty over Donald Trump’s tariffs.
Growth forecasts: Cut for 2025 from 2 per cent to 1 per cent. The OBR watchdog also estimated inflation will average 3.2 per cent this year
Welfare: Universal credit health element cut by 50 per cent and frozen for new claimants, building on cuts to the disability and incapacity bill set out earlier this month
Spending cuts: Overall day-to day-spending across government cut by £6.1bn in 2029-30
Tax evasion: Steps to crack down on tax evasion to raise “£6.5bn per year” for the public purse
Defence: New high-tech weaponry, upgrading HM Naval Base in Portsmouth
Housing: Housebuilding to reach its highest in 40 years, with planning reforms helping generate an extra £3.4bn for public finances
The biog
Name: Abeer Al Shahi
Emirate: Sharjah – Khor Fakkan
Education: Master’s degree in special education, preparing for a PhD in philosophy.
Favourite activities: Bungee jumping
Favourite quote: “My people and I will not settle for anything less than first place” – Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid.
The%20specs%3A%202024%20Mercedes%20E200
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2.0-litre%20four-cyl%20turbo%20%2B%20mild%20hybrid%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E204hp%20at%205%2C800rpm%20%2B23hp%20hybrid%20boost%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E320Nm%20at%201%2C800rpm%20%2B205Nm%20hybrid%20boost%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E9-speed%20auto%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFuel%20consumption%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E7.3L%2F100km%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENovember%2FDecember%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFrom%20Dh205%2C000%20(estimate)%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
COMPANY PROFILE
● Company: Bidzi
● Started: 2024
● Founders: Akshay Dosaj and Asif Rashid
● Based: Dubai, UAE
● Industry: M&A
● Funding size: Bootstrapped
● No of employees: Nine
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
Fifa%20World%20Cup%20Qatar%202022%20
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EFirst%20match%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENovember%2020%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFinal%2016%20round%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDecember%203%20to%206%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EQuarter-finals%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDecember%209%20and%2010%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESemi-finals%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDecember%2013%20and%2014%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFinal%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDecember%2018%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Libya's Gold
UN Panel of Experts found regime secretly sold a fifth of the country's gold reserves.
The panel’s 2017 report followed a trail to West Africa where large sums of cash and gold were hidden by Abdullah Al Senussi, Qaddafi’s former intelligence chief, in 2011.
Cases filled with cash that was said to amount to $560m in 100 dollar notes, that was kept by a group of Libyans in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso.
A second stash was said to have been held in Accra, Ghana, inside boxes at the local offices of an international human rights organisation based in France.
I Care A Lot
Directed by: J Blakeson
Starring: Rosamund Pike, Peter Dinklage
3/5 stars
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
Skewed figures
In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458.
Specs
Engine: Duel electric motors
Power: 659hp
Torque: 1075Nm
On sale: Available for pre-order now
Price: On request
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
COMPANY%20PROFILE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20OneOrder%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20March%202022%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Tamer%20Amer%20and%20Karim%20Maurice%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Cairo%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20staff%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E82%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20stage%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Series%20A%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
MATCH INFO
Maratha Arabians 107-8 (10 ovs)
Lyth 21, Lynn 20, McClenaghan 20 no
Qalandars 60-4 (10 ovs)
Malan 32 no, McClenaghan 2-9
Maratha Arabians win by 47 runs
POSSIBLE ENGLAND EURO 2020 SQUAD
Goalkeepers: Jordan Pickford, Nick Pope, Dean Henderson.
Defenders: Trent Alexander-Arnold, Kieran Trippier, Joe Gomez, John Stones, Harry Maguire, Tyrone Mings, Ben Chilwell, Fabian Delph.
Midfielders: Declan Rice, Harry Winks, Jordan Henderson, Ross Barkley, Mason Mount, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.
Forwards: Harry Kane, Raheem Sterling, Marcus Rashford, Jadon Sancho, Tammy Abraham, Callum Hudson-Odoi.
Specs
Engine: 51.5kW electric motor
Range: 400km
Power: 134bhp
Torque: 175Nm
Price: From Dh98,800
Available: Now
Bahrain%20GP
%3Cp%3EFriday%20qualifying%3A%207pm%20(8pm%20UAE)%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3ESaturday%20race%3A%207pm%20(UAE)%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3ETV%3A%20BeIN%20Sports%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Result
6.30pm: Al Maktoum Challenge Round-3 – Group 1 (PA) $65,000 (Dirt) 2,000m; Winner: Brraq, Ryan Curatolo (jockey), Jean-Claude Pecout (trainer)
7.05pm: Handicap (TB) $65,000 (Turf) 1,800m; Winner: Bright Melody, James Doyle, Charlie Appleby
7.40pm: Meydan Classic – Listed (TB) $88,000 (T) 1,600m; Winner: Naval Crown, Mickael Barzalona, Charlie Appleby
8.15pm: Nad Al Sheba Trophy – Group 3 (TB) $195,000 (T) 2,810m; Winner: Volcanic Sky, Frankie Dettori, Saeed bin Suroor
8.50pm: Dubai Millennium Stakes – Group 3 (TB) $130,000 (T) 2,000m; Winner: Star Safari, William Buick, Charlie Appleby
9.25pm: Meydan Challenge – Listed Handicap (TB) $88,000 (T) 1,400m; Winner: Zainhom, Dane O’Neill, Musabah Al Muhairi
THE SPECS
Cadillac XT6 2020 Premium Luxury
Engine: 3.6L V-6
Transmission: nine-speed automatic
Power: 310hp
Torque: 367Nm
Price: Dh280,000
The specs
Price, base: Dh228,000 / Dh232,000 (est)
Engine: 5.7-litre Hemi V8
Transmission: Eight-speed automatic
Power: 395hp @ 5,600rpm
Torque: 552Nm
Fuel economy, combined: 12.5L / 100km
If you go…
Emirates launched a new daily service to Mexico City this week, flying via Barcelona from Dh3,995.
Emirati citizens are among 67 nationalities who do not require a visa to Mexico. Entry is granted on arrival for stays of up to 180 days.
UAE v Gibraltar
What: International friendly
When: 7pm kick off
Where: Rugby Park, Dubai Sports City
Admission: Free
Online: The match will be broadcast live on Dubai Exiles’ Facebook page
UAE squad: Lucas Waddington (Dubai Exiles), Gio Fourie (Exiles), Craig Nutt (Abu Dhabi Harlequins), Phil Brady (Harlequins), Daniel Perry (Dubai Hurricanes), Esekaia Dranibota (Harlequins), Matt Mills (Exiles), Jaen Botes (Exiles), Kristian Stinson (Exiles), Murray Reason (Abu Dhabi Saracens), Dave Knight (Hurricanes), Ross Samson (Jebel Ali Dragons), DuRandt Gerber (Exiles), Saki Naisau (Dragons), Andrew Powell (Hurricanes), Emosi Vacanau (Harlequins), Niko Volavola (Dragons), Matt Richards (Dragons), Luke Stevenson (Harlequins), Josh Ives (Dubai Sports City Eagles), Sean Stevens (Saracens), Thinus Steyn (Exiles)
