After 26 months married to Mr T, I think I have a general idea of what defines a husband.
A husband is someone who, after emptying the dishwasher, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
A husband, when he washes the dishes, will leave bits and pieces of food clogging up the drain in the kitchen sink. He'll leave a pot or two there as well, and claim he was leaving them to soak so he can wash them later. Water droplets will have splattered everywhere. It'll never occur to him to wipe the stovetop, transfer the leftovers into Tupperware containers and put away the spice jars that were left on the counter.
A husband is also someone who offers to make you a cup of tea, and after every first sip of every cup of tea, he'll ask, "How is it?" It's endearing, until you notice the mess he left on the kitchen counter.
But you can't ever stay mad at a husband for long, because that same husband is the one who gets up in the middle of the night to adjust the AC temperature if you're too hot or too cold. He'll cover you with an extra blanket when you're shivering in bed, and get up to fetch you a glass of water if you're feeling parched.
Sure, it might not occur to a husband to empty the rubbish bins on his own - even if he has to press down on the trash just to throw out a piece of paper, it still won't be enough of an indication that maybe it's time to empty the bin - but if you ask, he'll do it, always.
When you have a headache, a husband will root in your cavernous bag for that bottle of pills, fetch a glass of water to go with them and rub your forehead.
A husband lets you rest your feet on his lap when you're watching TV on the couch, and rubs your tired ankles. He'll notice if your feet are cold and warms them up with his rough hands, before offering to make you a hot-water bottle - without any prompting.
A husband can't do the laundry - after all, you've forbidden him to even try. But a husband will fold every shirt, every towel, and then grin at you until you acknowledge the completed chore.
A husband will make you a sandwich and call it "cooking". Then, he'll round off the meal by offering you a piece of dark chocolate.
A husband will mask the slight panic he feels when he realises you're in one of your moods by quickly offering to get ice cream.
A husband, when noticing that the only number you ever seem to dial is that of your mother's back home, pays your monthly bill quietly, without mentioning it, leaving you to discover - more than a year later - when you realise you haven't seen a bill in months.
A husband keeps track of your car's mileage and arranges to take it in for service. He then rents a car for the duration and asks you if you'd like to use the rental, or take his car instead? It's up to you.
A husband is an excellent thing to have around, even if he does act like he just cleaned the entire house whenever he empties the dishwasher.
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