Road test: 2014 Mercedes-Benz S400 L

It’s unfortunate that the vast majority of new cars on sale deliver nowhere near the excitement, luxury or dynamism that is purported by the copywriters employed to write the sales brochures and web pages. From time to time, I have been known to single out certain cars to compare the marketing rhetoric with the reality – almost always at the cars’ expense. Seriously, read the brochure for a Toyota Yaris and you’d think a 911 GT3 was being described, such are the extremes employed by advertising suits.

Having said that, occasionally a car company hits the nail squarely on the head. Take the Mercedes-Benz S-Class, for instance, which is thus described on the company’s website: “The all-new S-Class is all about a certain approach to life. It stands for ‘wellness on wheels’. Anyone stepping into an S-Class is immersed in an ambience of stylish well-being. The car is built for customers who set extremely high standards, but have incredibly full diaries as well. Such individuals especially value being able to step into a car that is an oasis of ‘well-being’, a ‘protected’ space that they can literally lean back and enjoy.”

A bit flowery, perhaps, but whoever wrote this was bang on. The current S-Class, more than any before it, has taken the luxury barge fight beyond the fringes of Audi, BMW and Jaguar. Forget the A8, the 750i or the XJ – all excellent cars in their own right – because the S-Class is more Rolls-Royce Ghost or Bentley Mulsanne in its unashamedly full-on approach to “wellness on wheels”.

If you’re thinking that this all sounds a bit like a posh hotel spa on wheels (you’d be right, up to a point), there’s so much more to the S400 – this region’s entry-level S-Class. In other markets, that nomenclature would tell you that you’re looking at a hybrid and, indeed, there are much lower numbers on offer but here, where we have little demand for parsimonious fuel consumption in large, luxury automobiles, the 3.0-litre V6 S400 is where it starts. We don’t get standard wheelbase models, either, with the L standing for – you guessed it – “long”. If you want more performance and consumption, you can choose two other models: the 4.6-litre S500 L and the 5.5-litre S63 AMG mentalist.

For most, though, the S400 offers more than enough oomph and gangster gravitas. And it certainly doesn’t feel like anything has been overlooked when it comes to design detail, with the exterior bringing to the fore a more mature, more stylised appearance that combines modernity with tradition in a way that won’t alienate either the company directors or the young, thrusting executives. But it’s when you open a door and take a seat that you see the gap narrowing between this and the likes of Bentley and Rolls-Royce.

Swathes of diamond-stitched, quilted leather cover the seats and the swooping dashboard, like some enormous Chanel handbag has been cannibalised in the process. Every surface, every button and control is easy on the eye and exquisite to touch and use. The timber is real and the lustrous lacquer looks like you could sink your arm into it, just as it does with the finest, bespoke furniture. The only thing missing from the posh spa analogy is the plinky-plonk ambient music but, should you have any to hand, the awe-inspiring Burmester audio system will make it sound like you’ve never heard it before. This German company was chosen to develop the Bugatti Veyron’s in-car entertainment, no less, which should give you an idea of the quality at play here.

Only one area comes in for criticism and that’s the enormous LCD screen duo that dominate two-thirds of the dash. It looks futuristic and lovely when all lit up and is exceedingly useful for relaying all manner of information but when the car is switched off, it just looks like a huge black hole.

I’m nitpicking, however, because this living space is unlike any other. Ambient mood lighting gently floods the cabin surfaces (it stayed nightclub blue while I had the car but I’m reliably informed you can adjust it for other hues) and, on the move, there’s an irrepressible sense of serenity not experienced in anything else at the S400’s price point.

This entire page could be packed with lists of features the S-Class has had bestowed upon it, whether they’re safety, comfort or infotainment-related but, to be honest, having had the car in my possession for only a couple of days, I barely managed to scratch the surface of what’s on offer. But it’s obvious that this is a modern-day masterpiece of cutting-edge engineering, old-school craftsmanship and contemporary design. It isn’t cheap but it represents incredible value when you consider what its rivals are and cost.

My father has a long wheelbase S-Class from the late 1980s, which he bought in an online auction a few years ago for less than I paid for my television. One day, years from now, this S400 could be the same sort of money and I assure you I’ll have my credit card at the ready.

khackett@thenational.ae