Infiniti QX80 review: Is the posh Nissan Patrol really worth paying Dh200,000 more?

When I first moved to the UAE, I resisted the lure of the road’s giants. My first car was an Abarth 565 Competizione – comically small and endlessly amusing to wedge between hulking SUVs at the mall: a Land Cruiser here, a Patrol there, an Infiniti QX80 once in a while.

But a few years in, I get it. The climate can be harsh, the roads wide, and quaint European city cars can often feel like the wrong tool for the job. As I climb into the new Infiniti QX80, I find myself thinking I could probably fit two Abarths in the back of this beast.

It’s rare for a behemoth to move with grace. But that’s exactly what Infiniti has pulled off with the all-new 2025 QX80 – a car that used to feel more like a full-service lift than a luxury SUV: big, functional, inoffensive and by the end, a bit dated.

That’s all changed. The new QX80 pulls off a clever visual trick: it’s still massive, but looks like a regular SUV.

The soft, bulbous curves of the old model are gone – as are the sad droopy headlights. In their place: sharp lines, flush surfaces, a dramatically oversized grille, and LED lighting bright enough to guide ships into port. It’s as if the QX80 went to an overpriced Swiss clinic and came back with cheekbones and confidence.

Inside, the transformation is even more dramatic. The design team clearly spent time in a Range Rover and thought, “Why not us?” There’s open-pore ash wood, quilted semi-aniline leather, and ambient lighting with 64 colour options. Twin 14.3-inch screens handle infotainment and instrumentation, with a third touchscreen dedicated to climate control. It feels immersive without being overwhelming – it’s just a very nice place to spend time.

But value isn’t measured in screen size – it’s about how a car makes you feel. And this one makes you feel cared for. The seats are palatial, with bolstering that improves posture and cooling tech that uses biometric data to track your body temperature and adjust airflow accordingly. It’s watching you, but in a nurturing way.

Even the audio system feels grown up. A 24-speaker Klipsch Reference Premiere set-up turns the cabin into a sound studio. The set-up was perfect for enjoying everything from audiobooks to Post Malone on commutes from Dubai to Abu Dhabi. And get this, there’s even a new feature called Individual Audio that isolates phone calls to the driver's seat headrest speakers while other passengers can continue listening to music. I tried it and it actually works.

Under the bonnet, Infiniti has swapped its old-school V8 for a twin-turbocharged 3.5-litre V6. V8 purists may mourn, but the new engine delivers 450 horsepower and 699Nm of torque – more than enough to make this 2.7 tonne leviathan feel surprisingly light on its feet.

It still tows up to 3.8 tonnes – so your boat, horse, or desert caravan is in good hands. But what really matters is the throttle response: there’s urgency now, not the moan of a straining engine.

The nine-speed automatic gearbox leans towards comfort, not sport. It’s built for boulevards, border crossings, and weekends in Oman.

On the tech front, the QX80 debuts Infiniti’s most advanced driver-assist system yet: ProPilot Assist 2.1, allowing hands-free driving on select roads. It’s not quite autonomous, but it’s close enough for motorway cruising.

The QX80 now comes in four trims: Pure, Luxe, Sensory and the fully loaded Autograph. Only Sensory and Autograph appear available in the UAE and I drove the latter. With the Autograph priced at Dh510,000, it’s not cheap, but it feels justified.

Yes, it’s gunning for the high-spec Land Cruisers and Lexus LX. But more importantly, it makes the rest of Infiniti’s line-up look like it’s due for a similar glow-up. If they get the treatment the QX80 has, we’re in for something special.