The harem, the cigarette and the dhoti are among this year's key looks in trousers, and while they may work on the catwalk, when it comes to carrying them off in real life, it's all too easy to look, well, pants. Tracy Nesdoly explains a few basic rules on 'tricky trousers' - what to wear, how to wear them and what you should avoid like snow-washed jeans.
We speak only for ourselves here, but we were scarred for life when our mean little brothers called us "thunder thighs".
To this day, despite Atkins' and Pilates and reassurances from friends and family, we still harbour the belief that, yes, our bum really does look big in this, and purchasing even a simple pair of jeans involves the same psychological stamina required when trying on a bikini under the harsh fluorescent lights of a department store changing room.
Puppy fat may have melted but with fashion magazines promising "thin thighs in 30 days" every 30 days and a daily deluge of e-mail spam selling wonder diets, is it any wonder that many a woman does not have fond feelings for her lower half? Even the gorgeous Gwyneth Paltrow has "issues" with some kind of phantom cellulite only she can see.
Back in the days when life was simpler, the biggest challenge was finding a perfect pair of straight, well-cut black trousers - the kind that advertising creative directors seem to have secret access to, and which made Joseph, Prada and Helmut Lang famous and beloved.
But alas, nowadays there is no such thing as a simple pair of trousers. In these difficult times just when we need the reassurance of a nice wool crepe and a clean, lean line, we get Tricky Trousers.
"What are these?" you ask. Oh, what indeed. Trousers that would be skirts, shorts, trousers that are actually boots to the crotch, trousers that have their roots in the harem or the fishing boat; plus jumpsuits, something we really cannot quite forgive Stella McCartney and Stefano Pilati for resurrecting from their Eighties graveyard. But if you must, here's how to wear them.
Super-skinny and often cropped at the ankle, these have been around for years, but this time you need to go super-skinny and to ensure the fabric at least looks like leather. PVC
is also good, if "good" can be the term for something shiny and skin-tight.
DO: Wear with a tunic, or boxy jacket-cum-dresses.
DON'T: Wear this if "skinny" is not how you best describe your legs.
Truthfully, we love these. We loved them in the Seventies when they were called palazzo pants. The only issue you face is the risk of your spike heels catching in the fabric and tripping you up. Dries van Noten did a slouchy silk pyjama style, and Haider Ackermann's fluid satin jammies are stunning.
DO: Wear with heels - you want length to go with the width.
DON'T: Wear if you are short - this is a tall girl's look.
We are inclined to think that leopard print looks best on a leopard's legs and too often is seen on a WAG, but we are willing to believe we're just being stuck-up. If animal isn't your fancy, there are also trousers patterned with grommets out there, and Alexander McQueen saw fit to offer op-art prints.
DO: Wear with bold accessories and strong shapes.
DON'T: While all-over prints look fine on the catwalk, consider the fact you are probably not 6ft tall and a size zero. One print at a time, please.
Closely related to the harem, the dhoti is reminiscent of Asian fishermen, or rappers. The difference between this and the harem is the yards of fabric in a dropped crotch - mad old Rick Owens dropped his crotch as far as the ankle. Preen did a wearable job of these with a slouchy cropped pant. For the daring, McQ has a smashing version.
DO: Offset the volume with a slim, body-con top or very fitted jacket. Super high heels are also recommended.
DON'T: Not for those with bigger thighs - or bosoms.
Really two balloons of fabric connected at the waist, these look fantastic as a beach cover-up. Or on belly dancers. However, designers are not happy to leave it at that - Yves Saint Laurent's Stefano Pilati showed a daytime, serious version last year, and Balenciaga showed harem pants in satin. Easily confused with the dhoti, and the same rules apply for both?
Mica
Director: Ismael Ferroukhi
Stars: Zakaria Inan, Sabrina Ouazani
3 stars
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A fraudulent investment operation where the scammer provides fake reports and generates returns for old investors through money paid by new investors, rather than through ligitimate business activities.
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The smuggler
Eldarir had arrived at JFK in January 2020 with three suitcases, containing goods he valued at $300, when he was directed to a search area.
Officers found 41 gold artefacts among the bags, including amulets from a funerary set which prepared the deceased for the afterlife.
Also found was a cartouche of a Ptolemaic king on a relief that was originally part of a royal building or temple.
The largest single group of items found in Eldarir’s cases were 400 shabtis, or figurines.
Khouli conviction
Khouli smuggled items into the US by making false declarations to customs about the country of origin and value of the items.
According to Immigration and Customs Enforcement, he provided “false provenances which stated that [two] Egyptian antiquities were part of a collection assembled by Khouli's father in Israel in the 1960s” when in fact “Khouli acquired the Egyptian antiquities from other dealers”.
He was sentenced to one year of probation, six months of home confinement and 200 hours of community service in 2012 after admitting buying and smuggling Egyptian antiquities, including coffins, funerary boats and limestone figures.
For sale
A number of other items said to come from the collection of Ezeldeen Taha Eldarir are currently or recently for sale.
Their provenance is described in near identical terms as the British Museum shabti: bought from Salahaddin Sirmali, "authenticated and appraised" by Hossen Rashed, then imported to the US in 1948.
- An Egyptian Mummy mask dating from 700BC-30BC, is on offer for £11,807 ($15,275) online by a seller in Mexico
- A coffin lid dating back to 664BC-332BC was offered for sale by a Colorado-based art dealer, with a starting price of $65,000
- A shabti that was on sale through a Chicago-based coin dealer, dating from 1567BC-1085BC, is up for $1,950
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Know your Camel lingo
The bairaq is a competition for the best herd of 50 camels, named for the banner its winner takes home
Namoos - a word of congratulations reserved for falconry competitions, camel races and camel pageants. It best translates as 'the pride of victory' - and for competitors, it is priceless
Asayel camels - sleek, short-haired hound-like racers
Majahim - chocolate-brown camels that can grow to weigh two tonnes. They were only valued for milk until camel pageantry took off in the 1990s
Millions Street - the thoroughfare where camels are led and where white 4x4s throng throughout the festival
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ETFs have zero upfront fees and annual charges as low as 0.07 per cent a year, which means you get to keep more of your returns, as actively managed funds can charge as much as 1.5 per cent a year.
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Indoor cricket in a nutshell
Indoor cricket in a nutshell
Indoor Cricket World Cup - Sept 16-20, Insportz, Dubai
16 Indoor cricket matches are 16 overs per side
8 There are eight players per team
9 There have been nine Indoor Cricket World Cups for men. Australia have won every one.
5 Five runs are deducted from the score when a wickets falls
4 Batsmen bat in pairs, facing four overs per partnership
Scoring In indoor cricket, runs are scored by way of both physical and bonus runs. Physical runs are scored by both batsmen completing a run from one crease to the other. Bonus runs are scored when the ball hits a net in different zones, but only when at least one physical run is score.
Zones
A Front net, behind the striker and wicketkeeper: 0 runs
B Side nets, between the striker and halfway down the pitch: 1 run
C Side nets between halfway and the bowlers end: 2 runs
D Back net: 4 runs on the bounce, 6 runs on the full
