For someone who grew up during the Cold War, it is surreal to be sipping a latte in Red Square, just around the corner from a McDonald's. It's as if, 30 years hence, Osama's cave had become a Starbucks.
We are on the patio at Basco Cafe, which is attached to the magnificently ornate GUM department store (but really, it's a mall) at the north-east face of the square, across from the Kremlin and Lenin's tomb. We wait for a waiter. And wait and wait. We'd probably get faster service from Vladimir Ilyich himself. Finally the waiter emerges from hiding. My wife and I order coffees; our daughter wants hot chocolate.
Meanwhile oldsters with a CCCP flag march slowly by, playing martial music under a grey sky, bearing pictures of Lenin, pining for the days when drinking bourgeois beverages on Red Square would get you shipped to Lubyanka prison - conveniently, only one metro stop away.
I browse through the menu - startlingly, it includes cigarettes.
The waiter is back in witness protection, so I poke inside the restaurant to ask him to add whipped cream to our daughter's drink. Inside, a half-dozen blank-eyed servers stand around and practise their thousand-yard stare, like Nutcracker characters waiting to be brought to life. A waitress offers to bring us menus. I tell her we have already ordered but want whipped cream on our hot chocolate.
"No hot chocolate," she says.
*****
The raucous ice hockey fans inside the Sokolniki Sports Palace beseeching Spartak to beat Sibir are a rarity for Moscow, allowed to drink nothing stronger than hot sugary English breakfast from a plastic cup, no milk, bag in. The idea being, I suppose, that the national passion for hockey requires no additional stimulation.
The canteen, alongside the normal delights of international hockey cuisine (soda, crisps, hot dogs), also has distinct Russian touches: slices of white bread with either smoked salmon, cold cuts or cheese on top, and buns filled with applesauce.
After the second period, I try the bread with smoked salmon. I offer my wife a bite. "No thanks." I offer my daughter a bite. She makes the I'd-rather-die-why-are-you-doing-this-to-me? face.
To my right, in the visiting fans section, I spot, for the first and probably last time in my life, a Siberian puck bunny: team scarf draped over her shoulders like a feather boa, ruble-sized hole thigh-high in her fishnet stockings. Final score: Spartak 4, Sibir 1.
*****
On a Tuesday evening, a brusque woman is selling pastries out of an open tent beside the Cathedral of Christ the Saviour. I buy the strudel, which at 35 rubles (Dh4) is the priciest item she has. Devotees are lined up halfway around the church, from the front, around the west side to the back. I consider asking what the special occasion is but decide that would be rude.
Most of the queued women wear scarves on their heads. There are young and old, some in high heels. You can hear a hymn from somewhere in the crowd. A lame woman leaning on a crutch sells icons of a saint. A few men read the newspaper. The line is barely moving; it's as slow as a snake digesting.
The godless communists tore the church down in 1931. The Orthodox Catholics built it back up in 1994. New Russia, old religion.
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The Starlite Diner is an imitation of America yet despite its three-patty burgers, milkshakes in tin cups and waitresses in cheerleader regalia, it resists classification as a symbol that Moscow has been Americanised.
On the Starlite's fissile menu, Awesome Peanut Butter Pie lives kitty corner from Chicken Blini. As I briefly digest, it strikes me that there is something else that makes the Starlite emblematic of Russia's uniqueness rather than its assimilation into global culture.
It's the haircuts: the short-cropped young men, the bushy swept-back grey wave of the businessman, his female peers with their pouffy 1980s 'dos (think Jessica Lange in Tootsie; actually, think Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie), the waitress with a mullet she's put into pigtails. A mullet. In pigtails. Seriously.
*****
Inevitably, McDonald's. I have never been to a McDonald's during my two years in the Emirates but it tempted me in Moscow. Maybe it was the Cyrillic lettering; maybe it was, as mentioned earlier, the frisson of capitalism's stake in communism's heart. I have trouble making myself understood so the kid working the counter brings out a pamphlet that lists the fare in Russian, German, English and French. Example:
Russian: Big Mac
German: Big Mac
English: Big Mac
French: Big Mac
Okay, maybe not the best example. I go for the Big Mac, my wife chooses a chicken wrap, daughter goes cheeseburger. I wonder if I should have tried the Chicken Mythic (but which myth? Does it involve deep-frying?). In a nod to the days of Soviet scarcity, they charge for condiments: 14 rubles (Dh1.5) gets you 25ml of mayo or ketchup.
The fries taste different than we are used to. "They taste like soap," daughter says, later adding, "They have a chlorine aftertaste." We split a chocolate caramel McFlurry to wash down the soapy chlorine. Total cost, 537 rubles (Dh65).
*****
Moscow can be cold one moment and comforting the next. Cold is wandering a bleakly rich neighbourhood while looking for a bite to eat; comfort is finding a diner where two kind ladies in aprons feed us cheese bread and cabbage rolls. It's the kind of place where people sit and read the paper for hours. Red vinyl booths and plants on the windowsills. A beefy guy in a shiny suit having Coca-Cola and meatballs. Overhead TVs showing the local version of MBC Action.
The sour cream for my cabbage roll sticks to the one lady's spoon, so her colleague grabs another spoon and scoops every last bit out; a most maternal gesture.
People warned us that Moscow would not be friendly; in fact, such was not the case. Yes, the subway matrons will, at the slightest violation, throw you a glare that would crack the bronze on a Stalin statue; but their contempt is atavistic, a throwback to mean old days.
Again and again, when we asked directions, people were only too happy to help. And if the person we solicited did not speak English, someone who did would pop in. After we went to the Bolshoi Ballet, and were unsure of the way home, I asked an old couple to point us on the right path. They walked us halfway to our hotel. How sweet was that?
rmckenzie@thenational.ae
The Intruder
Director: Deon Taylor
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Michael Ealy, Meagan Good
One star
PREMIER LEAGUE RESULTS
Bournemouth 1 Manchester City 2
Watford 0 Brighton and Hove Albion 0
Newcastle United 3 West Ham United 0
Huddersfield Town 0 Southampton 0
Crystal Palace 0 Swansea City 2
Manchester United 2 Leicester City 0
West Bromwich Albion 1 Stoke City 1
Chelsea 2 Everton 0
Tottenham Hotspur 1 Burnley 1
Liverpool 4 Arsenal 0
HIJRA
Starring: Lamar Faden, Khairiah Nathmy, Nawaf Al-Dhufairy
Director: Shahad Ameen
Rating: 3/5
Joker: Folie a Deux
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson
Director: Todd Phillips
Rating: 2/5
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Company%C2%A0profile
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KINGDOM%20OF%20THE%20PLANET%20OF%20THE%20APES
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Wes%20Ball%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Owen%20Teague%2C%20Freya%20Allen%2C%20Kevin%20Durand%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E3.5%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
PREMIER LEAGUE FIXTURES
Saturday (UAE kick-off times)
Watford v Leicester City (3.30pm)
Brighton v Arsenal (6pm)
West Ham v Wolves (8.30pm)
Bournemouth v Crystal Palace (10.45pm)
Sunday
Newcastle United v Sheffield United (5pm)
Aston Villa v Chelsea (7.15pm)
Everton v Liverpool (10pm)
Monday
Manchester City v Burnley (11pm)
Sugary teas and iced coffees
The tax authority is yet to release a list of the taxed products, but it appears likely that sugary iced teas and cold coffees will be hit.
For instance, the non-fizzy drink AriZona Iced Tea contains 65 grams of sugar – about 16 teaspoons – per 680ml can. The average can costs about Dh6, which would rise to Dh9.
Cold coffee brands are likely to be hit too. Drinks such as Starbucks Bottled Mocha Frappuccino contain 31g of sugar in 270ml, while Nescafe Mocha in a can contains 15.6g of sugar in a 240ml can.
GOLF’S RAHMBO
- 5 wins in 22 months as pro
- Three wins in past 10 starts
- 45 pro starts worldwide: 5 wins, 17 top 5s
- Ranked 551th in world on debut, now No 4 (was No 2 earlier this year)
- 5th player in last 30 years to win 3 European Tour and 2 PGA Tour titles before age 24 (Woods, Garcia, McIlroy, Spieth)
BMW M5 specs
Engine: 4.4-litre twin-turbo V-8 petrol enging with additional electric motor
Power: 727hp
Torque: 1,000Nm
Transmission: 8-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 10.6L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh650,000
COMPANY%20PROFILE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Klipit%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%202022%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Venkat%20Reddy%2C%20Mohammed%20Al%20Bulooki%2C%20Bilal%20Merchant%2C%20Asif%20Ahmed%2C%20Ovais%20Merchant%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dubai%2C%20UAE%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EIndustry%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Digital%20receipts%2C%20finance%2C%20blockchain%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunding%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%244%20million%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Privately%2Fself-funded%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Ahmed Raza
UAE cricket captain
Age: 31
Born: Sharjah
Role: Left-arm spinner
One-day internationals: 31 matches, 35 wickets, average 31.4, economy rate 3.95
T20 internationals: 41 matches, 29 wickets, average 30.3, economy rate 6.28
World Cricket League Division 2
In Windhoek, Namibia - Top two teams qualify for the World Cup Qualifier in Zimbabwe, which starts on March 4.
UAE fixtures
Thursday February 8, v Kenya; Friday February 9, v Canada; Sunday February 11, v Nepal; Monday February 12, v Oman; Wednesday February 14, v Namibia; Thursday February 15, final
Key findings of Jenkins report
- Founder of the Muslim Brotherhood, Hassan al Banna, "accepted the political utility of violence"
- Views of key Muslim Brotherhood ideologue, Sayyid Qutb, have “consistently been understood” as permitting “the use of extreme violence in the pursuit of the perfect Islamic society” and “never been institutionally disowned” by the movement.
- Muslim Brotherhood at all levels has repeatedly defended Hamas attacks against Israel, including the use of suicide bombers and the killing of civilians.
- Laying out the report in the House of Commons, David Cameron told MPs: "The main findings of the review support the conclusion that membership of, association with, or influence by the Muslim Brotherhood should be considered as a possible indicator of extremism."
Lexus LX700h specs
Engine: 3.4-litre twin-turbo V6 plus supplementary electric motor
Power: 464hp at 5,200rpm
Torque: 790Nm from 2,000-3,600rpm
Transmission: 10-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 11.7L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh590,000
UAE FIXTURES
October 18 – 7.30pm, UAE v Oman, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 19 – 7.30pm, UAE v Ireland, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 21 – 2.10pm, UAE v Hong Kong, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 22 – 2.10pm, UAE v Jersey, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 24 – 10am, UAE v Nigeria, Abu Dhabi Cricket Oval 1
October 27 – 7.30pm, UAE v Canada, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 29 – 2.10pm, Playoff 1 – A2 v B3; 7.30pm, Playoff 2 – A3 v B2, at Dubai International Stadium.
October 30 – 2.10pm, Playoff 3 – A4 v Loser of Play-off 1; 7.30pm, Playoff 4 – B4 v Loser of Play-off 2 at Dubai International Stadium
November 1 – 2.10pm, Semifinal 1 – B1 v Winner of Play-off 1; 7.30pm, Semifinal 2 – A1 v Winner of Play-off 2 at Dubai International Stadium
November 2 – 2.10pm, Third place Playoff – B1 v Winner of Play-off 1; 7.30pm, Final, at Dubai International Stadium
Specs
Engine: Duel electric motors
Power: 659hp
Torque: 1075Nm
On sale: Available for pre-order now
Price: On request
What is tokenisation?
Tokenisation refers to the issuance of a blockchain token, which represents a virtually tradable real, tangible asset. A tokenised asset is easily transferable, offers good liquidity, returns and is easily traded on the secondary markets.
Volvo ES90 Specs
Engine: Electric single motor (96kW), twin motor (106kW) and twin motor performance (106kW)
Power: 333hp, 449hp, 680hp
Torque: 480Nm, 670Nm, 870Nm
On sale: Later in 2025 or early 2026, depending on region
Price: Exact regional pricing TBA
MATCH INFO
Rajasthan Royals 158-8 (20 ovs)
Kings XI Punjab 143/7 (20 ovs)
Rajasthan Royals won by 15 runs
Pharaoh's curse
British aristocrat Lord Carnarvon, who funded the expedition to find the Tutankhamun tomb, died in a Cairo hotel four months after the crypt was opened.
He had been in poor health for many years after a car crash, and a mosquito bite made worse by a shaving cut led to blood poisoning and pneumonia.
Reports at the time said Lord Carnarvon suffered from “pain as the inflammation affected the nasal passages and eyes”.
Decades later, scientists contended he had died of aspergillosis after inhaling spores of the fungus aspergillus in the tomb, which can lie dormant for months. The fact several others who entered were also found dead withiin a short time led to the myth of the curse.
THE DETAILS
Kaala
Dir: Pa. Ranjith
Starring: Rajinikanth, Huma Qureshi, Easwari Rao, Nana Patekar
Rating: 1.5/5
Boulder shooting victims
• Denny Strong, 20
• Neven Stanisic, 23
• Rikki Olds, 25
• Tralona Bartkowiak, 49
• Suzanne Fountain, 59
• Teri Leiker, 51
• Eric Talley, 51
• Kevin Mahoney, 61
• Lynn Murray, 62
• Jody Waters, 65
CHINESE GRAND PRIX STARTING GRID
1st row
Sebastian Vettel (Ferrari)
Kimi Raikkonen (Ferrari)
2nd row
Valtteri Bottas (Mercedes-GP)
Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes-GP)
3rd row
Max Verstappen (Red Bull Racing)
Daniel Ricciardo (Red Bull Racing)
4th row
Nico Hulkenberg (Renault)
Sergio Perez (Force India)
5th row
Carlos Sainz Jr (Renault)
Romain Grosjean (Haas)
6th row
Kevin Magnussen (Haas)
Esteban Ocon (Force India)
7th row
Fernando Alonso (McLaren)
Stoffel Vandoorne (McLaren)
8th row
Brendon Hartley (Toro Rosso)
Sergey Sirotkin (Williams)
9th row
Pierre Gasly (Toro Rosso)
Lance Stroll (Williams)
10th row
Charles Leclerc (Sauber)
arcus Ericsson (Sauber)
Disability on screen
Empire — neuromuscular disease myasthenia gravis; bipolar disorder; post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Rosewood and Transparent — heart issues
24: Legacy — PTSD;
Superstore and NCIS: New Orleans — wheelchair-bound
Taken and This Is Us — cancer
Trial & Error — cognitive disorder prosopagnosia (facial blindness and dyslexia)
Grey’s Anatomy — prosthetic leg
Scorpion — obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety
Switched at Birth — deafness
One Mississippi, Wentworth and Transparent — double mastectomy
Dragons — double amputee
