How I realised the problem was not with Dubai - the problem was me


  • English
  • Arabic

My career as a bully began and ended the day I found my little sister crying alone in a stairwell at our school. Overprotective and underutilised, I threatened to hunt down and devastate her offender. First I needed a name: who was responsible for these tears? My sister blew her nose and shook her head sadly, as if dealing with the ultimate simpleton. Turns out she was crying because her hamster had died. I felt dumber than a sea sponge.

Russians say that happiness cannot be harnessed like a horse. Arabs says it can be found at the feet of mothers. Scots say it's some haggis and a loyal dog. Scot or not, I'm into haggis. But for a more sustainable high, it's loyalty that feeds me, even when it works against me.

Historically, my loyalty to Abu Dhabi over Dubai has been militaristic in its rigour. Even when I lived in Dubai, Abu Dhabi was the safe house. For starters, the takeout here is better, partly because transit times are minimal by comparison. Anything that's spent an hour suffocating in foil while being ferried across any of Dubai's excruciatingly congested thoroughfares has suffered for it — and anyone eating it will be suffering next.

When in 2005, my warm, discreet regular weeknight restaurant hangout in Dubai closed permanently with plans to reopen the following year in a huge new hotel, my hope shut down with it. The place was nothing special — friendly service, a decent club sandwich, those cottony pre-frozen fries that are the bane of every restaurant by a pool, and a lounge singer with a thick Ukrainian accent doing Elton John covers. Still, having a place outside the home where I could go and be myself seemed crucial — and I couldn't stomach the pretence, expense and corporate alien decor of most hotel restaurants.

And so I grew used to feeling my battery drain when I crossed Jebel Ali heading north, and I'd flee Jumeirah on the weekends to convalesce in the sweet refuge of the Bateen. After a while, my preference became my polemic, no longer based on empirical evidence or recent experience. And just as I didn't need to eat a Pizza Hut pizza to know that I wasn't going to enjoy it, I gave up on Dubai.

In Santa Fe, I eat at least two meals a week at a restaurant called Atrisco. To me, it's golden, but my fondness is stripped of objectivity. If I set out to defend my obsession or to try to convert others, I'd fail. Nevertheless, in my eyes it can do no wrong — even when it does everything wrong. You know the rules about loyalty: you can say whatever you want about your family, but nobody else is actually allowed to agree with you, unless they want their teeth knocked out.

Last week in Dubai, I took a sleep aid that made even my water taste bitter — a common side effect of the drug. It got me thinking about the benefit of blind tastings — and how badly I need to conduct a few of my own. I hadn't spent two consecutive days in Dubai since 2006 until last week. All the important factors were in place: good company, inspiration, comfort and fun. Then, consistently, after sundown, I marvelled at bizarre transgressions that seemed so unique to the city, and on every end of the economic spectrum.

Eventually, I started considering the selectivity of my biases, and realised they had stopped serving me, instead becoming liabilities. Dubai was a filter through which everything appeared flawed, when the obvious problem was me.

ABU%20DHABI'S%20KEY%20TOURISM%20GOALS%3A%20BY%20THE%20NUMBERS
%3Cp%3EBy%202030%2C%20Abu%20Dhabi%20aims%20to%20achieve%3A%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3E%E2%80%A2%2039.3%20million%20visitors%2C%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20nearly%2064%25%20up%20from%202023%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3E%E2%80%A2%20Dh90%20billion%20contribution%20to%20GDP%2C%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20about%2084%25%20more%20than%20Dh49%20billion%20in%202023%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3E%E2%80%A2%20178%2C000%20new%20jobs%2C%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20bringing%20the%20total%20to%20about%20366%2C000%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3E%E2%80%A2%2052%2C000%20hotel%20rooms%2C%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20up%2053%25%20from%2034%2C000%20in%202023%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3E%E2%80%A2%207.2%20million%20international%20visitors%2C%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20almost%2090%25%20higher%20compared%20to%202023's%203.8%20million%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3E%E2%80%A2%203.9%20international%20overnight%20hotel%20stays%2C%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2022%25%20more%20from%203.2%20nights%20in%202023%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
SPECS
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%206-cylinder%203-litre%2C%20with%20petrol%20and%20diesel%20variants%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E8-speed%20automatic%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20286hp%20(petrol)%2C%20249hp%20(diesel)%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E450Nm%20(petrol)%2C%20550Nm%20(diesel)%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EStarting%20at%20%2469%2C800%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENow%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
If you go

 

  • The nearest international airport to the start of the Chuysky Trakt is in Novosibirsk. Emirates (www.emirates.com) offer codeshare flights with S7 Airlines (www.s7.ru) via Moscow for US$5,300 (Dh19,467) return including taxes. Cheaper flights are available on Flydubai and Air Astana or Aeroflot combination, flying via Astana in Kazakhstan or Moscow. Economy class tickets are available for US$650 (Dh2,400).
  • The Double Tree by Hilton in Novosibirsk ( 7 383 2230100,) has double rooms from US$60 (Dh220). You can rent cabins at camp grounds or rooms in guesthouses in the towns for around US$25 (Dh90).
  • The transport Minibuses run along the Chuysky Trakt but if you want to stop for sightseeing, hire a taxi from Gorno-Altaisk for about US$100 (Dh360) a day. Take a Russian phrasebook or download a translation app. Tour companies such as  Altair-Tour ( 7 383 2125115 ) offer hiking and adventure packages.
Racecard
%3Cp%3E%0D5pm%3A%20Al%20Maha%20Stables%20%E2%80%93%20Maiden%20(PA)%20Dh80%2C000%20(Turf)%201%2C400m%0D%3Cbr%3E5.30pm%3A%20Al%20Anoud%20Stables%20%E2%80%93%20Handicap%20(PA)%20Dh80%2C000%20(T)%201%2C200m%0D%3Cbr%3E6pm%3A%20Wathba%20Stallions%20Cup%20%E2%80%93%20Handicap%20(PA)%20Dh70%2C000%20(T)%201%2C400m%0D%3Cbr%3E6.30pm%3A%20Arabian%20Triple%20Crown%20Round%202%20%E2%80%93%20Group%203%20(PA)%20Dh%20300%2C000%20(T)%202%2C200m%0D%3Cbr%3E7pm%3A%20Liwa%20Oasis%20%E2%80%93%20Group%202%20(PA)%20Dh300%2C000%20(T)%201%2C400m%0D%3Cbr%3E7.30pm%3A%20Dames%20Stables%20%E2%80%93%20Handicap%20(TB)%20Dh80%2C000%20(T)%201%2C400m%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The%20specs
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%201.8-litre%204-cyl%20turbo%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E190hp%20at%205%2C200rpm%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20320Nm%20from%201%2C800-5%2C000rpm%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESeven-speed%20dual-clutch%20auto%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFuel%20consumption%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%206.7L%2F100km%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20From%20Dh111%2C195%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENow%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Racecard
%3Cp%3E5pm%3A%20Al%20Bateen%20%E2%80%93%20Maiden%20(PA)%20Dh80%2C000%20(Turf)%202%2C200m%3Cbr%3E5.30pm%3A%20Al%20Khaleej%20%E2%80%93%20Maiden%20(PA)%20Dh80%2C000%20(T)%201%2C400m%3Cbr%3E6pm%3A%20Wathba%20Stallions%20Cup%20%E2%80%93%20Handicap%20(PA)%20Dh70%2C000%20(T)%201%2C400m%3Cbr%3E6.30pm%3A%20Al%20Nahyan%20%E2%80%93%20Handicap%20(PA)%20Dh80%2C000%20(T)%201%2C600m%3Cbr%3E7pm%3A%20Al%20Karamah%20%E2%80%93%20Handicap%20(PA)%20Dh80%2C000%20(T)%201%2C600m%3Cbr%3E7.30pm%3A%20Al%20Salam%20%E2%80%93%20Handicap%20(TB)%20Dh80%2C000%20(T)%201%2C400m%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Specs

Engine: 51.5kW electric motor

Range: 400km

Power: 134bhp

Torque: 175Nm

Price: From Dh98,800

Available: Now

The specs

Engine: 8.0-litre, quad-turbo 16-cylinder

Transmission: 7-speed auto

0-100kmh 2.3 seconds

0-200kmh 5.5 seconds

0-300kmh 11.6 seconds

Power: 1500hp

Torque: 1600Nm

Price: Dh13,400,000

On sale: now

Results

5pm: Warsan Lake – Maiden (PA) Dh80,000 (Turf) 2,200m; Winner: Dhaw Al Reef, Sam Hitchcott (jockey), Abdallah Al Hammadi (trainer) 

5.30pm: Al Quadra Lake – Maiden (PA) Dh80,000 (T) 1,600m; Winner: Mrouwah Al Gharbia, Sando Paiva, Abubakar Daud 

6pm: Hatta Lake – Handicap (PA) Dh80,000 (T) 1,600m; Winner: AF Yatroq, George Buckell, Ernst Oertel 

6.30pm: Wathba Stallions Cup – Handicap (PA) Dh70,000 (T) 1,600m; Winner: Ashton Tourettes, Adries de Vries, Ibrahim Aseel 

7pm: Abu Dhabi Championship – Listed (PA) Dh180,000 (T) 1,600m; Winner: Bahar Muscat, Antonio Fresu, Ibrahim Al Hadhrami 

7.30pm: Zakher Lake – Rated Conditions (TB) Dh80,000 (T) 1,400m; Winner: Alfareeq, Dane O’Neill, Musabah Al Muhairi.  

Getting there

The flights

Emirates and Etihad fly to Johannesburg or Cape Town daily. Flights cost from about Dh3,325, with a flying time of 8hours and 15 minutes. From there, fly South African Airlines or Air Namibia to Namibia’s Windhoek Hosea Kutako International Airport, for about Dh850. Flying time is 2 hours.

The stay

Wilderness Little Kulala offers stays from £460 (Dh2,135) per person, per night. It is one of seven Wilderness Safari lodges in Namibia; www.wilderness-safaris.com.

Skeleton Coast Safaris’ four-day adventure involves joining a very small group in a private plane, flying to some of the remotest areas in the world, with each night spent at a different camp. It costs from US$8,335.30 (Dh30,611); www.skeletoncoastsafaris.com

The specs

Price: From Dh529,000

Engine: 5-litre V8

Transmission: Eight-speed auto

Power: 520hp

Torque: 625Nm

Fuel economy, combined: 12.8L/100km

Company%C2%A0profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3Eamana%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2010%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Karim%20Farra%20and%20Ziad%20Aboujeb%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EUAE%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERegulator%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDFSA%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFinancial%20services%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ECurrent%20number%20of%20staff%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E85%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20stage%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESelf-funded%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
MEDIEVIL%20(1998)
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDeveloper%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20SCE%20Studio%20Cambridge%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPublisher%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Sony%20Computer%20Entertainment%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EConsole%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20PlayStation%2C%20PlayStation%204%20and%205%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%203.5%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Most sought after workplace benefits in the UAE
  • Flexible work arrangements
  • Pension support
  • Mental well-being assistance
  • Insurance coverage for optical, dental, alternative medicine, cancer screening
  • Financial well-being incentives 
The specs

Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cylinder turbo

Power: 240hp at 5,500rpm

Torque: 390Nm at 3,000rpm

Transmission: eight-speed auto

Price: from Dh122,745

On sale: now