Fashion should be about pleasure, not an impossible quest for the 'ideal' figure. The UK's new equalities minister Lynne Featherstone recently cited Christina Hendricks - who plays the sassy secretary Joan Harris in the television drama Mad Men - as having an "absolutely fabulous" figure, the shape to which the average woman should aspire. So, sitting here with Joan and her pillowy curves on my mind, I am feeling, well, a little queasy. I'm thinking that packing in a few extra Big Macs will not do to me what they do to Joanie. As an "ideal" she is about as unattainable as Kate Moss and other big-headed supermodels, with their concave thighs and pipe-cleaner arms.
You see, Joan is an objet d'art - a physical anomaly, albeit a rather attractive one. But average? Call me prudish, but Joan and average simply do not mix. For a start, those hips are extraordinary - a medical curiosity - a supernatural event. In fact, the type that makes one wonder if she is hiding some junk up there. Perhaps a couple of basketballs? A sideways bustle? Featherstone's comments came a week after the "plus-size" model Crystal Renn complained that she had been retouched to look several sizes smaller for an ad campaign. Eureka! It seems that big hips are, well... hip. Except that's not really the case; it's just more of the same tired old rant. I'm bored. You're bored. Men are nearly asleep.
I've been retouched myself a few times. I would love to say I was horrified, disgusted even; but I'd be lying. There is something wonderfully satisfying about watching a cursor shave away that extra slab of upper arm with a little click, stretching out a thigh, raising the cheek bones or zapping off some of my bottom. We have become acclimatised to thin. Not slim, not toned, not normal. But thin. Which makes me want to bang my head against a wall, to pound my fist on the desk screaming NOOOO! in retaliation. Thin is not the point. Fashion is supposed to be about giving women pleasure and self-confidence, not make us want to look like a starving whippet. While there is no doubt that slim is healthy, coltishly thin equates to vulnerability, which makes me wince. The ideals of femininity shouldn't make us want to shrink, to starve or disappear. Nor should they make us want to inflate our bras with a bicycle pump.
Instead, what Featherstone and the rest of us need to do, rather than replacing old impossible ideals with new impossible ideals, is to stop looking for perfection and focus on life's little things that actually matter.
A MINECRAFT MOVIE
Director: Jared Hess
Starring: Jack Black, Jennifer Coolidge, Jason Momoa
Rating: 3/5
Racecard
6.35pm: The Madjani Stakes – Group 2 (PA) Dh97,500 (Dirt) 1,900m
7.10pm: Evidenza – Handicap (TB) Dh87,500 (D) 1,200m
7.45pm: The Longines Conquest – Maiden (TB) Dh82,500 (D) 2,000m
8.20: The Longines Elegant – Conditions (TB) Dh82,500 (D)
8.35pm: The Dubai Creek Mile – Listed (TB) Dh132,500 (D) 1,600m
9.30pm: Mirdif Stakes – Conditions (TB) Dh120,000 (D) 1,400m
10.05pm: The Longines Record – Handicap (TB) Dh87,500 (D) 1,900m
NO OTHER LAND
Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal
Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham
Rating: 3.5/5
BELGIUM%20SQUAD
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The rules on fostering in the UAE
A foster couple or family must:
- be Muslim, Emirati and be residing in the UAE
- not be younger than 25 years old
- not have been convicted of offences or crimes involving moral turpitude
- be free of infectious diseases or psychological and mental disorders
- have the ability to support its members and the foster child financially
- undertake to treat and raise the child in a proper manner and take care of his or her health and well-being
- A single, divorced or widowed Muslim Emirati female, residing in the UAE may apply to foster a child if she is at least 30 years old and able to support the child financially
COMPANY%20PROFILE%20
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Yuki Means Happiness
Alison Jean Lester
John Murray
WHAT IS A BLACK HOLE?
1. Black holes are objects whose gravity is so strong not even light can escape their pull
2. They can be created when massive stars collapse under their own weight
3. Large black holes can also be formed when smaller ones collide and merge
4. The biggest black holes lurk at the centre of many galaxies, including our own
5. Astronomers believe that when the universe was very young, black holes affected how galaxies formed
Skewed figures
In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458.
About Tenderd
Started: May 2018
Founder: Arjun Mohan
Based: Dubai
Size: 23 employees
Funding: Raised $5.8m in a seed fund round in December 2018. Backers include Y Combinator, Beco Capital, Venturesouq, Paul Graham, Peter Thiel, Paul Buchheit, Justin Mateen, Matt Mickiewicz, SOMA, Dynamo and Global Founders Capital
Uefa Nations League
League A:
Germany, Portugal, Belgium, Spain, France, England, Switzerland, Italy, Poland, Iceland, Croatia, Netherlands
League B:
Austria, Wales, Russia, Slovakia, Sweden, Ukraine, Republic of Ireland, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Northern Ireland, Denmark, Czech Republic, Turkey
League C:
Hungary, Romania, Scotland, Slovenia, Greece, Serbia, Albania, Norway, Montenegro, Israel, Bulgaria, Finland, Cyprus, Estonia, Lithuania
League D:
Azerbaijan, Macedonia, Belarus, Georgia, Armenia, Latvia, Faroe Islands, Luxembourg, Kazakhstan, Moldova, Liechtenstein, Malta, Andorra, Kosovo, San Marino, Gibraltar
Specs
Engine: Electric motor generating 54.2kWh (Cooper SE and Aceman SE), 64.6kW (Countryman All4 SE)
Power: 218hp (Cooper and Aceman), 313hp (Countryman)
Torque: 330Nm (Cooper and Aceman), 494Nm (Countryman)
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh158,000 (Cooper), Dh168,000 (Aceman), Dh190,000 (Countryman)
Generation Start-up: Awok company profile
Started: 2013
Founder: Ulugbek Yuldashev
Sector: e-commerce
Size: 600 plus
Stage: still in talks with VCs
Principal Investors: self-financed by founder
SERIE A FIXTURES
Friday Sassuolo v Torino (Kick-off 10.45pm UAE)
Saturday Atalanta v Sampdoria (5pm),
Genoa v Inter Milan (8pm),
Lazio v Bologna (10.45pm)
Sunday Cagliari v Crotone (3.30pm)
Benevento v Napoli (6pm)
Parma v Spezia (6pm)
Fiorentina v Udinese (9pm)
Juventus v Hellas Verona (11.45pm)
Monday AC Milan v AS Roma (11.45pm)
THE BIO
Born: Mukalla, Yemen, 1979
Education: UAE University, Al Ain
Family: Married with two daughters: Asayel, 7, and Sara, 6
Favourite piece of music: Horse Dance by Naseer Shamma
Favourite book: Science and geology
Favourite place to travel to: Washington DC
Best advice you’ve ever been given: If you have a dream, you have to believe it, then you will see it.
BACK%20TO%20ALEXANDRIA
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